Chapter 15

15

“ A nd that’s the damn problem, you be so ready to baby him up like he’s not a grown ass man,” Solar fussed with Frenchy on her hip. He was a Velcro baby— attached to her hip.

French kissed his son on the cheek. “Your mama always trippin’ out on me. She don’t love me like you love your daddy.”

Frenchy laughed while still holding onto his mama for dear life. When it came to choosing a parent, his choice was biased. French was team Qamar and after the family call about the events that transpired twenty-four hours ago, he was clearly the only one. The women were ready to nail him to the cross while French understood his baby boy’s angle. For so long everyone did everything for Qamar and now that he’d made mistakes, they expected him to make perfect decisions the first time around—lesson to be learned as quick as the infraction had been made. It made no sense to French, so he was going to bat for his first love.

Kissing her teeth, she pushed French away. “I’m just saying that was some foul ass shit Qamar did to Janay and the other girl. If I was either one of them, I would still be on that nigga head.”

“You saying that like if one of them would’ve hit your baby you wasn’t going to try to kill one of them.”

Solar didn’t respond because it was true. When it came to the people in her family she was a beat ass first, ask questions later type of girl. Especially for her little brother.

Solar and French were at home waiting for Qamar to come by before he headed to the private airport to take Siasia and Noodle back to Lynn Beach.

“What you think about that girl, anyway?” Solar laid Frenchy down who had started to doze off just that quick.

“I think she cool.” French shrugged because he didn’t know Siasia like that. After the fight at Tiny’s house, Qamar kept her and her sister close. They hadn’t been back around the family since.

Solar cut her eyes at him annoyed. “You think it’s a good idea for him to be jumping from girl to girl? Like, he’s been on the prowl since he started fuckin’… I just don’t want him to be another stereotype with all these kids by different women.”

“I think y’all be too focused on the wrong shit when it comes to baby boy. He trying, Solar, damn!”

“Trying to do what, be the next Future Hendrix?”

French caught himself from laughing since Solar wanted to be the next queen of comedy. Instead he mushed her head. “Y’all be on my boy too hard.”

“No we don’t. He just needs to focus on the shit he should be focusing on and leave these little girls alone.” Solar’s mouth twisted. “I can tell that girl don’t have much going on. I mean who flies to a city with her little sister with a man who just had a baby?”

Qamar stood at the front door with Siasia and Noodle beside him. Siasia was embarrassed to hear what had just been said about her but she couldn’t deny that her popping up with Qamar did look weird. To have her impressionable sister with her didn’t make the situation any better. It was an inner battle she had already been dealing with and hearing it from another person’s mouth didn’t make her feel any better.

“Damn, Solar, I ain’t know you was so fuckin’ judgmental,” Qamar sneered, smoke coming from his head.

Solar wasn’t one to apologize so she didn’t. “I’m just saying what everybody else was thinking.” She waved him off. “That’s why you need to start knocking on the door instead of just coming in people’s houses.”

“Nah, Solar, you wrong,” French agreed with Qamar.

Her eyes bucked. “I’m wrong?” She pointed at her chest.

French shook his head. “Come on in so we can talk, though, baby boy.”

Qamar shook his head. “I’m good, French. I ain’t never been pressed to be somewhere that I feel disrespected.”

“Oh please.” Solar rolled her eyes. “You want to be grown but still lean on us to clean up your shit. Yea, I ain’t got time for it today.”

“Did I ask y’all to clean up my shit?” Qamar huffed. “I ain’t never asked y’all to do shit for me! Let’s make that clear.”

“But you didn’t stop us either. You have two kids but don’t have a place of your own. Your schooling is paid for and yet you still complain about having to go. You are a fuckin’ child that needs to grow up and fast.” Solar walked up to Siasia. “And you seem like you have too much baggage to be running behind a little boy. What you think because he lays good dick that he’s a man? Oh, let me guess, he buys you shit too, huh?”

Siasia’s eyes got wet but she wasn’t going for Solar talking to her crazy. Stepping up, they were almost chest to chest. “Watch your mouth in front of my sister. I’m not disrespecting you, so don’t disrespect me. Maybe if y’all let him make his own decisions, he wouldn’t fall in line and follow behind y’all like the lost little boy you claim him to be.”

“Siasia, come on.” Noodle tugged on her, trying to pull her back towards the front door.

Siasia was in her zone and wasn’t trying to hear nothing. Instead of listening to her sister, she snatched her arm from Noodle.

Solar sized her up. “Little girl, I advise you to back up. I ain’t Janay.”

“Chill out, Solar, for real.” French yanked her behind him. “You doing too much.”

“And you always babying him up. He has two kids!” She held up two finger like they didn’t know how to count. “It’s time he becomes a man and man the fuck up!” Solar yelled.

Qamar fake laughed while nodding his head. The pain was evident in his eyes. Listening to the vile shit his sister spewed almost shattered his heart. Then to hear her be so rude while saying nasty things about and to Siasia, he was on fire.

“You really trying to stand her acting like your shit don’t stank? And wonder why French ain’t in no rush to take you down that aisle.”

French’s neck snapped towards him. “Aye, baby boy, you getting too close to the edge.”

“Nah, I got some shit to say.” Qamar waved French out of the way. “You around here passing judgement on her when you wasn’t so clean once upon a time either. I remember watching niggas sneak in and out of the house when Luna used to leave us by ourselves. I knew that nasty ass grown man was your baby daddy but I let you rock out how you rocked out. And you around here talking about I need to grow up when you ain’t so grown your-damn-self. I don’t blame French for making you just another baby mama. You ain’t ready to be no body’s wife.”

Solar’s mouth fell open. “Nigga, fuck you!”

“Yea, fuck me but French you might want to get a DNA test for Apollo. I’m out.”

Qamar grabbed Siasia’s hand but stumbled forward from the blow Solar sent to his back. “Bitch!”

Siasia grabbed his face just as quick as the word shot from his mouth like a bullet. “No! Qamar, that is your fuckin’ sister you don’t do her like that,” she fussed, almost breaking down when she noticed the tears in his eyes.

French tossed Solar over his shoulder.

“No, let me go, Adrian!” Solar kicked and punched into French’s back. All she could see was black. How dare Qamar tell her dirty little secret like that? They were blood and she never thought she’d see the day they fought the way they were.

As kids they went back and forth but it never got that bad. Words that couldn’t be taken back flew across the room, wounding the other so deep, it might never heal.

“I bet you need me before I ever need you, little boy !” Solar hollered. “Let’s see how you take care of those kids and that bitch when the family ain’t funding you!”

Like an evil villain, Qamar laughed at her. “If you think I don’t have my own motion, you don’t know me, sister. Y’all ain’t funded shit since I was eighteen besides the education y’all want me to get. Fuck you and worry about telling French about how much of a hoe you are and how you can’t keep your legs closed when he’s having a mental breakdowns or feeling like he ain’t enough for you. You don’t fuckin’ deserve him!”

Like a gun went off, Solar clutched her chest where the bullet pierced her. His words hurt more than she thought words ever could. “Oh,” she groaned at how fast her heart raced in her chest. All the breath in her had been knocked out of her. Whatever fight she had, disappeared listening to the little boy who she’d protected since birth broke her down like a fraction.

Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She could barely see the face of the boy she had loved and nurtured, the one who now stood before her with such cold, unforgiving eyes. Each word he had uttered was like a dagger, slicing through her heart with unrelenting precision. She wanted to reach out, to pull him into her arms and make everything right, but her limbs felt like lead, weighed down by the crushing feel of betrayal.

“Fuck you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with the weight of her sorrow. “Over a bitch? You break me down over a girl you barely even know?” Her mind raced, trying to grasp onto any fragment of hope, any sign that this was just a terrible dream. But the reality of his harsh words echoed in her ears.

The room seemed to close in around her, the walls pressing in as if to suffocate her. Her breaths came in ragged gasps, each one a struggle against the tidal wave of emotions threatening to drown her. She had always been strong, always been the protector, but now, in this moment, she felt utterly powerless. The bond she had cherished, the love she had poured into him, seemed to shatter into a million pieces, leaving her standing in the wreckage of her own heart.

“Get the fuck out, Qamar!” French boomed. “Before I get on your ass. You out of fuckin’ line. Its family over any and everything and you do her like this?”

He loved Qamar, he’d been his first test run as a father but when it came to Solar, no one was above her. Listening to her heart shatter turned his blood into rage and if he didn’t want to put his hands on Qamar, it was best he leave. And fast.

“ Me? I ain’t do shit. She started it and for the first time, she couldn’t finish it. Tend to your baby mama , we out.”

Watching the showdown, Siasia had tears running down her face. It was all the proof she needed to leave Qamar alone. If he could break his own sister down with words, she knew he wouldn’t hold back on her if she pissed him off bad enough. That and she hated to be the divide between a beautiful family like the one he had. He couldn’t see it now, but being loved and having support was all she wished for. She locked her hand into Noodle’s, who was just as emotional as she was. Siasia couldn’t see herself going back and forth with her sister like that. All she wanted to do was get back to Lynn Beach and get her shit together. If the impromptu trip didn’t teach her anything else, it gave her hope of achieving her dreams.

Siasia felt a deep ache in her chest as she watched the siblings tear each other apart. Her heart ached for Solar, who seemed to been a pillar of strength, now crumbling under the weight of her brother's harsh words.

Noodle squeezed her hand, a silent gesture of solidarity. They had both experienced their fair share of family drama, but nothing quite like this. Siasia glanced at Noodle, seeing the same resolve mirrored in her sister's eyes. That and the love her sister had for Qamar seemed to be a battleground for the ten-year-old. They were no longer welcomed and probably never would be.

For the first time ever, the thought of returning to Lynn Beach filled her with a sense of calm. It was a place where she could breathe, where she could rebuild herself without the shadows of others' conflicts looming over her.

As they turned to leave, Siasia took one last look at Solar and French. She hoped they would one day realize the value of the family they had, the love and support that she longed for but never truly got.

The trip had been a whirlwind of emotions, but it had also been a catalyst for change. She was ready to embrace the future, to chase her dreams with renewed vigor and hope.

Qamar’s heart and head hung heavily, knowing not only had he created a tear in their infamous to the moon pledge, he also wouldn’t be taking Siasia beyond the stars. She didn’t have to say anything, he felt her pulling away from him with each step they took to get back in the car. Even Noodle avoided looking him in the eyes.

Inside the car, he inhaled and exhaled before starting the engine. The light she seemed to always find in his eyes was gone when he stared at her. “Don’t give up on us, Siasia.”

“Qamar, you have a lot you need to deal with. We’re just a distraction and a way for you not to face what’s really going on with you. After what I just seen, I don’t see you having any issues moving forward with living your life the way you want. Here’s your chance to show everyone that you know what’s best for you . Besides, I got my own shit to figure out.”

Siasia leaned back into the seat before staring out the window. As far as she was concerned there was nothing else left to say. She enjoyed him but it was time for both of them to face reality and figure their own shit out.