20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Axel

I should have known better than to call Kade. I should have thought about it and realized he was one of the most dangerous people I'd ever met. It was obvious that dying, coming back, and finding someone who he apparently cared about enough to keep? None of that was enough to make him any different.

He was all predator, all monster.

But… he was a monster with a pet now. That pet sat beneath his arm with a leather jacket that was entirely too big for him thrown on over a faded black hoodie. He looked rumpled and sweet, and for all the world like he didn't belong in the room with three men who made death their profession in some form or another.

He was smiling at Xavier, who was looking at him with a bemused expression. I couldn't blame him—Seth was too soft , and he was snuggled into Kade's side like the man hadn't killed more people than I could keep track of. Hell, even though I'd been working nearly the entire time he was active, I'd only been called to his scenes a few times.

He was that good.

"So, you're after the same people we are, huh?" Seth finally broke the silence and let out a small squeak of a sound when Kade's arm around him tightened. I didn't like the way he was still glaring at Xavier like he was a target.

"They're after me, if we're being honest. Apparently, my little vehicle here decided to steal information before…" Xavier trailed off, and his eyes flicked between Seth and Kade curiously. "What exactly did happen? Do you remember?"

Seth turned to Kade, and his copper ringed gaze flashed in annoyance for a second before he finally rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Uh, I wasn't… exactly there for it, but I was?" Seth started, and the way he phrased it made me sit forward a bit. Even though having them here wasn't as safe as I'd hoped it would be, they were still a font of information I wouldn't have had otherwise. Kade had been through whatever Xavier had gone through, so he would know if something was going to happen to bring Marshall back.

He would know how safe it was to really believe I could keep him forever.

"You…" Xavier had apparently picked up on something that I hadn't. "I saw your name in the file… but half of the information about you was encrypted after their initial experiment. You're like us?"

Seth's expression fell slightly, and he toyed with the frayed edges of his hoodie string for just a second before shrugging.

"Kind of? When I came to the facility with…" He paused, and his breath hitched for just a second. "When I came with Jayce, we were both injected with their little fucked up serum."

At the name Jayce , Kade's arm slipped around Seth's waist and he pulled the smaller man onto his lap like it was a perfectly normal thing to do in front of other people. And maybe for them, it was. I was holding Xavier's hand like I was afraid something was going to tear him away from me, so I couldn't really say much.

"But… you're still here and… he isn't?" Xavier pressed, but his eyes flicked between the two men again like he was already making leaps of logic I hadn't grasped onto yet.

"I was taking something else, and it interacted with the drugs. When my past life showed up, I was still here. We kind of shared? Until I got caught…" Seth's eyes dropped. "He was the one who brought you back. I wasn't really in control of myself when he did it, but I remember. I saw it."

"So, I'm… not like you?" Xavier's voice was careful, but I could hear a small spring of hope welling somewhere in his chest. I felt the same thing, twisting somewhere in my gut and tethered to him.

"I don't think so. Clay…" Seth paused at the name again and took another breath. "He injected you with a dose of the same shit they gave Jayce. And… he can't come back. Unless you have a man talking to you in your head, I think you're safe."

"What about dreams?" I cut in finally, and Seth winced. I watched a myriad of emotions trail across his face before he finally blew out a breath and nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, all of those memories are still locked away somewhere inside of him. It would make sense if he… dreamed… sometimes."

There was more to that, but judging by his expression—and the absolute death glare Kade was leveling my way—I knew better than to push.

"But… Marshall won't come back?"

Seth blew out one more breath and laid his head against Kade's chest. His eyes closed for a second like he was listening to his heartbeat, then he nodded again.

"The only reason I stayed was because the drugs I was taking reacted with what they gave me. Marshall's gone… You can't get him back."

And I really didn't understand it when Kade ran his fingers through Seth's blond curls and pulled his head back so he could kiss him, but I had the sense to at least avert my gaze.

Xavier was looking at me with wide-eyed confusion—yeah, maybe Kade had come back, but there was definitely something different about him. In all the times we'd interacted and all the stories I'd heard about him… he didn't hold people on his lap and kiss them like he was trying to drink down their pain.

He didn't stroke his fingers through their hair and murmur soft words in their ear.

He just… killed people.

This Kade was different, and some part of me was aware that it wasn't a bad thing—he was even more dangerous, if I thought about it. Before, he'd killed because he wanted to, because he was good at it. Because it was a job and a way for him to make money and make a living.

Now, I didn't have to look very hard to see that he had a reason to kill—a person he would die for. Hell, just his reaction when Xavier stepped into the room was enough to show me that.

"As cute as you two are, I still have more questions." Xavier's voice came out a little impatient, but I did notice that he waited until they were finished kissing before he spoke. He might have been brave, but he had some level of tact and survival instinct.

"I can still shoot you, Xavier." Kade's voice came out in a low rumble, and Seth actually rolled his eyes before turning to look at us again.

"He won't shoot you." He sounded so sure, too. "Honestly, it's a relief to have someone else understand what's going on. We've been hunting these fuckers for months, and I'll feel better knowing that Kade has backup."

"I don't need—"

"We have the location of their main headquarters narrowed down to a few places." Seth's mouth pinched, and for just a second something angry spilled through his gaze, something colder than anything he'd let on before. "I want to make sure they can't hurt anyone else ever again."

Ah, he had something righteous burning in his chest. It wasn't that cool psychopathic rage that I saw on Kade's face, but I had a feeling it could be just as deadly. After all, it was pretty much steering the intentions of the man holding onto him. A psychopath was dangerous, but a psychopath being guided by someone who had ambitions of taking down an entire organization because it was the right thing to do?

Well, that was an easy way to get killed, wasn't it?

Then again, that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to make sure that the people who'd hurt Xavier could never hurt him again, could never threaten to take him away. The days I'd spent wondering if they'd captured him after he left the lake house had been pure torture. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if something actually happened.

I couldn't imagine what world I wouldn't burn down if it meant I could keep him safe. Maybe Seth's determination wasn't so bad after all.

I turned my eyes back to Xavier, who was studying the two men in front of us with an unreadable expression. He'd been so angry when I mentioned finding the company before, but I understood why.

"What if we get there and you're wrong? What if they do something and Xavier is… gone again?" I couldn't say dead . But Seth was already shaking his head.

"They can't—"

"I mean, I guess they could shoot him. That would make him pretty gone ."

Seth turned to glare at Kade, and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from snapping at the man who was studying me with a cool, almost indifferent expression.

"I'm not sure how I went out before, but I'm pretty determined to keep myself alive this time. I'm sure I can avoid some bullets."

And I saw it. Kade's eyes widened as he realized that the last moments of Xavier's life were still missing in the equation of the man across from him.

"You don't remember?" Kade didn't have reservations, or boundaries. And either he couldn't read expressions as well as I remembered, or he was blatantly ignoring the way I glared at him.

"Not really. I had a head injury and burns. I was in and out of consciousness for months." Xavier's eyes narrowed slightly, darting between Kade and Seth. "I'm not sure which of you I have to thank for that, but I'll let it go since it wasn't me you were after."

He didn't sound like he was letting it go.

"I didn't—" Seth started, but Kade actually slipped his hand over his mouth.

"I set the building on fire, and the man who stabbed you with a needle and didn't bother to catch you when you fell is gone. I'd rethink your threats before I finish the job."

The deadly intent was obvious in his voice. It was only Seth's hands on his wrist, dragging it from his lips, that let him get out a small, mouthed sorry .

"No threats. Just honesty. I can't remember how I died. I've been getting it all back in bits and pieces, but I haven't gotten there yet."

"I mean, I could tell you, I was the—"

"Kade," I snarled his name without thinking. Xavier's eyes widened slightly, but he recoiled from the words like he was afraid of what they might do to him. "Don't."

"Why? Don't you think he deserves to know?"

I was torn. Of course, I wanted him to remember. There was a part of me that wanted to rip the bandaid off so the wound could completely heal. But it wasn't that easy. I couldn't just tell him… and a bigger part of me didn't want to tell Kade that, because I could clearly see he still held a grudge against the body that Xavier was walking around in. The last thing I wanted was for him to know any weakness that he could exploit if he decided that revenge was worth more than keeping us around.

"You're ruining all the fun, Kade," Xavier filled in when I kept my silence. "There's something to be said about figuring it all out. It's like puzzle pieces that I get to put together. Take right now, for example." He smiled at him, and this time he was the one I was glaring at. I knew that smile. "I barely remembered you before, but now I'm recalling the few times we were assigned to the same job that you were a complete piece of—"

This time it was my hand coming over Xavier's mouth, but the muffled insult still came out against my palm.

Kade's eyes narrowed, but Seth's little burst of laughter seemed to settle him before he stood.

"I didn't know you had friends, Kade."

"I don't. I've told you I didn't work with people." He sounded annoyed .

"Then what was he talking about?"

"Sometimes the same agency would hire us. Trust me, I was never informed beforehand that I was going to have someone working a job with me. We never worked together," he said, like it was a curse. "We just worked in the same vicinity."

That much was true. Sometimes, if a job was particularly large, like taking out an entire building or an opposing group, they'd have more than one person on site just in case something happened.

And there were times when part of what I cleaned up was half of that duo.

Just the thought made me close my eyes, left the vision of Xavier dead on the ground flashing across my vision again.

It hadn't been Kade's fault. Of course, it hadn't been his fault.

But I'd still tried to kill him when he'd come to see me after.

Maybe it hadn't been fair, and I certainly hadn't had the skill to do it. It didn't stop me from taking a knife to him.

It didn't stop him from taking that knife from me and putting it to my throat. There'd been something in his expression for just a second. Some level of understanding that made me wonder if he'd finally met someone who caught his attention.

Just as quickly as it had been there, it was gone. He'd slammed the knife into my shoulder and told me the next time I came after him with something sharp, it was going straight into my heart.

The next time I saw Kade Neil, I'd been cleaning up his dead body. Someone had apparently taken his threat and turned it on him. I never heard who , though there'd been whispers about it.

And… now he was here, sitting across from me with that low pulse of fury still on his features. My attention turned to Xavier, who was looking between the two of us with slow understanding dawning on his face.

"I was working a job with him, wasn't I? That's why he remembers me dying." He froze as soon as he said it, like he was waiting for the epiphany to wound him. When a few seconds passed and he hadn't doubled over in pain, he blew out a breath in relief.

"Yeah. You were with Kade," I said carefully. When I'd called Kade for help, I hadn't been thinking straight. I hadn't worried that he and Xavier being in the same room would spark those memories that I was still so nervous about.

I hadn't been thinking about anything but getting Xavier safely back home, making sure that the people who wanted to hurt him could never hurt anyone again.

Now, I was starting to wonder if calling him was going to cause wounds I hadn't even realized to open. It was dangerous, and judging by the curious and calculating look on Kade's face, he was already realizing that he'd found something to use as leverage.

Fuck, I hated working with psychopaths.