13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Xavier

T he more I looked at the information on the flash drive, the more I wanted to throw the entire thing into the ocean and never think about it again. Half the damn files were encrypted, though I'd read enough to realize that the red splotches on my chest were more than likely evidence of how I'd died before. I forced my mind away from thinking about it—bullets and a knife wound.

That was one thing I'd decided I didn't want to remember. Death. And either my mind knew the recollection would break me, or my injuries had buried the memory forever, because nothing rose to the surface.

Bullets and a knife wound—a blissful blank.

I dove back into the flash drive and tried to distract myself before my mind changed its… well... mind? It was frustrating—I could understand parts of it that I knew I shouldn't have been able to comprehend. It was worse, because the more I looked at it, the more I realized that there was more than one experimental drug.

I'd been given the one that could bring a past life into the present, but they'd apparently been developing something that could undo those results. The details weren't clear—it seemed like they'd done it for a very specific reason, as if something had gone wrong with the initial drug.

But I had no idea what had happened with Marshall, what happened with me . For all I knew, he was still knocking around in my head somewhere, capable of returning with something as simple as the stab of a needle. What I understood from my reading told me that if the drug was injected correctly, if nothing had gone wrong… then there was no reason for me to be worried.

If I'd been injected properly, Marshall had simply gone to sleep, hidden in whatever place the pasts existed. Maybe he was waiting for our next life so he could have a turn… or maybe he was simply gone, being formed into another person, another personality all together. Either way, it didn't seem like he was dead exactly, but he wasn't here any more. He couldn't be brought back.

If the drug had been administered correctly.

I nearly put myself into another spiral of pain trying to remember exactly what had happened to bring me into this lifetime. While my own memories were there, trapped somewhere just beneath the surface, trying to remember what had happened to Marshall was one giant blank. Even trying to imagine it made me nauseated, brought me back to heat, to fire licking along my neck and burning my skin.

To two figures standing in the distance and watching the world around me burn.

I groaned and dropped my head to the desk in front of me. The injuries from my previous attack were healed enough that it didn't immediately make my skull feel like it was about to burst, but I knew Axel would be angry if he saw me doing it.

He wasn't going to see anything—I didn't like looking at the contents of the flash drive while he was around, anyway. It would make him question things, make him suggest something like trying to find out more about Northman and the sham of an institute he'd been running.

A few careful searches on the internet told me that Heath Northman and all of his employees were dead. There'd been one lone survivor of the fatal incident that they'd marked down as a chemical explosion.

Marshall Lister. The name that wasn't my name, printed there in newspaper articles for anyone who wanted to see. No wonder the people were hunting me down. The press had done a spectacular job of making sure that anyone who wanted to know would be aware I was alive and breathing, that I'd escaped a fire that was obviously meant to kill everyone involved with the project, and now I was… what?

The only person left alive with information that was vital? Did they think I knew more than this stupid flash drive did?

I snapped the computer shut and yanked the little rectangle from the machine with a frown. It was so much trouble for such a small thing—my entire life in danger, my entire world on high alert because some scientist wanted to do the right thing?

Or maybe he'd wanted to sell the information to the highest bidder.

Fuck, for all I knew, Marshall Lister was the one who'd started the fire to begin with, and he'd just been unfortunate enough to somehow fall victim to his own ploy and got stabbed with the drug he was trying to smuggle out.

That… didn't feel right, though.

With a low grunt, I flopped back on the bed and stuck the drive into my pocket as Axel walked into the room.

"Are you okay in here? You're grunting and groaning like someone's either trying to kill you or fuck you. And since I'm not in here with you…" He trailed off with one brow arched, the clear implication that if someone was fucking me, he was going to kill them written across his features.

He was ridiculous, but that expression was enough to coax a smile out of me. It was hard to stay anxious when he was looking at me like that, harder still when he came and stuck his hand out. I slipped my fingers into his and let him pull me to my feet.

"C'mon. I've taken things a little easy on you while you're healing up, but it's about time we got back to it, isn't it?"

I groaned—not that he wasn't right. I had been slacking off, if you could count not being able to run because jostling myself made my head want to explode as slacking off… but it was time to get back to it.

It might not have been so miserable if Axel hadn't been paranoid about us leaving the house. I felt cooped up—maybe I couldn't remember much, but I knew I hadn't been someone who hid inside and cowered from problems before.

The only reason that knowing who was after me would be useful was so I could hunt them down and kill them.

Since Axel didn't want me to so much as step outside for a run, I had a feeling he wouldn't be keen on the idea.

And I might have fought him on it—I still had intentions of fighting him on it—but I was healing. The haunted look on his face and the memory of tears streaking down his cheeks kept me in place.

For now.

"You know," I started, and his eyes instantly narrowed. "They obviously knew that I was staying with you, or they wouldn't have asked me if you knew anything." I offered the sweetest smile I could manage. "Maybe we could just… go out? For a little bit? Before I die from a lack of vitamin D?"

"I can give you—"

"Do not finish that sentence if you want to keep breathing, Sunshine."

"A multi-vitamin," he said flatly and dropped my hand.

Oh.

Well.

"Axel, it's probably fine. We'll stay out in public, okay? I just…" I stalked after him as he walked away, once more aware of the lack of height advantage I had. "I need to get out. I'm not asking to go alone. You can come with me, and I'll be armed this time." Properly armed. Nothing was going to happen to me if I had a gun strapped under a jacket and a few knives planted in strategic places. It wasn't like I had any intentions of being caught unaware again, either.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and I was pretty sure he was going to say no. I was pretty sure I was going to knock him out while he was sleeping and drag him outside myself if I had to.

Which was why I was surprised when he finally pressed his lips together and nodded.

"Fine. But you're armed, I'm armed, and we're not going down any suspicious alleys. Got it?"

I nodded, too intent on making sure I got out of the house before he had a chance to change his mind to even tell him that I hadn't gone down a suspicious anything. I'd been chased into a suspicious alley, and when I'd been alive, it was a pathway to the woods.

"We could go to the park. That's pretty crowded, right?" I could probably talk him into other places once he realized things were all right. Even though I wasn't convinced they were myself, but… well… if we did so happen to run into someone else, at least I'd be aware enough to torture information out of them if I wanted.

Or kill them before they had a chance to say anything. I was still on the fence about it.

For all I knew, I wasn't spewing bullshit, and they'd realized after their first would-be killer never came home that it was a bad idea to send people after me. Maybe they realized that I was staying with a man who had more connections than God when it came to the world of dangerous and deadly killers. It wasn't like Axel hadn't made enemies, but I was fairly certain he could call in more than a few favors if it came down to it.

God, how many new clients had Axel accrued in the time I'd been gone? How many people did he have at his fingertips that he could send after Northman Technology and Nathaniel West? If I really wanted to be over and done with it, I'd figure out where the asshole was and beg Axel to do it for me.

No.

If I was going to have a man killed, I wanted to do it myself. Honestly, my fingers were itching for it, and I knew where my real restlessness was coming from. I couldn't remember a time when I was alive that I wasn't working, from the moment I'd stepped into the life of a hired killer as a teenager to the blankness that overtook my memories.

I'd always been busy.

Always been moving and deadly and dangerous.

I felt like a fucking tiger all trussed up like a house cat. I couldn't keep going this way, but I had a feeling if I told Axel the real reason I was chomping at the bit was because I wanted to get back to my old life, he might have a few choice words to say about it.

And I had a feeling that one of the main words in his very long speech he'd give me would be a very, very resounding no.

Since I didn't want to get in another fight with him, and the very thought of him telling me what I could and couldn't do sent irritation burning all along my skin, I avoided the issue all together.

I could talk him into it once I was a little stronger. Once I felt like my old self again.

If I could show him I was just as strong as before, maybe he'd realize I'd made the mistake of dying once, and there was no way I was going to do it again.

Then again… I had no idea what that mistake had even been… so...

Fuck. What a fucked up limbo to exist in. I needed to know to make sure it didn't happen again, but I was afraid knowing might break me.

I settled on being content that we were finally getting out of the damn house. I'd worry about the rest of the details later.

Honestly, it was the best I could do.

Axel and I had two very different reactions the moment we stepped outside. I took a deep breath and let myself say a silent thanks that I was here, that I was alive, that I had this chance to be the person I'd been before.

Axel slid his hand across his hip where I knew he had a gun holstered, and his eyes darted around like he was sure there would be someone just outside the door waiting to finish what the dead man had started.

"Down boy," I muttered in his ear, and he slanted his gaze to me in annoyance. I leaned up and gently ran my finger along the length of his throat. Watching him shiver from the motion alone was nearly enough to make me drag him back into the house. Since he'd decided he didn't have it in him to resist me, all I wanted to do was touch him.

I settled for brushing against his thundering pulse before making a show of putting my hands loosely at my sides so I could grab a weapon if I needed to.

"Are you ready to go?"

He looked me over one more time, glanced around, then blew out a breath and nodded.

"To the park. I'm sure there are plenty of people there. It'll be safe."

I had a feeling he said that last part to himself more than me, but I nodded anyway. Between the two of us, I had no doubt we were more than capable of handling anyone who came after me… and honestly, they'd have to be an idiot to attack us in broad daylight when there were people around. Even the man who'd cornered me had done it while there were no witnesses, and he'd only attacked me once we were in an isolated alley.

Nathaniel West—or whatever competitor was trying to get his secrets—was smart enough to know causing a scene this close to the building that had burned down was probably a bad idea.

At least, I had to assume that was why they hadn't just let someone shoot me from a distance.

Either that, or he really did want someone to tie me up and bring me back to wherever he was.

God, he'd be really disappointed when he realized I had a mind for violence and not science now. If they learned the truth about who I was, would their mission change?

Better not to find out.

"Do you think you should call me Marshall while we're out in public?" The question came suddenly, and Axel froze beside me for just a moment before picking his stride back up smoothly.

"So, you do think someone will be watching us?" I wasn't sure if he sounded angry or smug about my little admission.

"I mean, I honestly don't know? But if they are, wouldn't it be better for them to think that I'm who they think I am? They didn't want to kill me before because I was their pretty little pet scientist. If they know I'm not, that makes me less valuable, doesn't it?"

I didn't want to say I was in more danger simply because I was me , but at the end of the day, hadn't that always been the truth?

"I'm not calling you someone else's name." Axel sounded like the mere thought offended him. With a frown, and a moment of his brows coming together to show me where the same expression had worn lines into his face, he finally turned to me again. "I could call you sweetheart."

"No." The response came before I had time to think about it.

"You call me Sunshine."

"I've always called you Sunshine." I trailed my fingers along the back of his hand and stepped past him. "It goes so well with your positively glowing demeanor."

The extremely annoyed expression he gave me told me he didn't think I was funny.