Chapter 22 - Percy

Bigby, Aris, and I are walking through the woods, searching for a gnome someone said they spotted earlier.

I was in the pack center, talking to Bigby about vampires, when Aris approached both of us, asking if we were ready for a mission. I'd gotten excited immediately, but Bigby had looked skeptical as Aris explained our objective.

"It's not a top priority, by any means," Aris had said, "but I need some time to take my mind off this thing with the vampires, and we don't want the poor little thing wandering the woods by itself. Even worse if a human finds it and puts it in their garden."

"Aw, man," Bigby had said, trudging along after us. "You always have to put me on the missions with little magical creatures."

"They love you," Aris said.

"I still have the scars from the fairies," Bigby had muttered. We rode together in Aris's truck, then hopped out at the trailhead where the gnome was spotted.

Now, Bigby plows through the forest like he can personally rip trees from the ground, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that was true. Aris is moving gracefully, checking under logs and inside hollow trees for the gnome.

I have a package of Skittles in my pocket, and I take them out, dropping them behind us one at a time. With any luck, the gnome will smell them and come running.

"So," Aris says, returning to my side and raising an eyebrow at the Skittles. I shrug my shoulders, dropping another.

"I think that's technically littering," Bigby says, crashing through the underbrush and re-joining us on the trail.

"And I think that's technically deforestation," I say, which makes them laugh, "besides, it's not littering if the gnome picks them up."

"What makes you think gnomes like Skittles?" Bigby asks. "I've never read anything that—"

"I used to look for them with my grandma," I say before he can get off on a tangent. "Skittles, or really, any fruity candy, usually works."

"Hmm," Bigby says, in a tone that makes me think he doesn't actually believe that.

"Anyway," Aris says, "I was going to ask—how are things going with Veronica?"

"With Veronica?" I ask, glancing up at him. This morning, things were going great. I woke up with her and had her first thing in the morning until I remembered that she still plans to leave as soon as she can.

"Yeah," Bigby deadpans, "your mate?"

I swallow hard. I'm not a good liar, and the last thing I want to do right now is admit to these two that Veronica is a human right when it starts to feel like I'm part of the group again. I clear my throat.

"I don't think she wants to stay," I say, not looking at them as I throw a Skittle out into the brush.

"Oh," Aris says, sounding genuinely sad, "so you'll be leaving, then?"

"No," I say, glancing up at them, then realizing what I'd implied. "No," I say again, clearing my throat. "Veronica doesn't want to be with me."

"What?" Bigby says, brows furrowing together. "But the two of you are so good together."

"Does she understand the mate thing?" Aris asks. "Linnea was saying she seemed confused by it."

"Oh, she understands," I say, thinking of the past few days and how we've enjoyed each other. "It's just that—well, I think she's still mad at me."

They stare back at me like they couldn't possibly understand why.

"For the kidnapping," I supply, and they both nod in understanding. "And also because—I left her. Back before, when we were dating. I knew what I was doing was wrong, being with a human-like that, and I just left. It was mean."

"You have to apologize," they say in unison, before glancing at each other.

"Serious," Aris says, clapping me on the shoulder. "Have you done that?"

"Yeah," I say, glancing between the two of them. "Of course, I apologized," I say on a laugh, cracking up at the idea that the two men in front of me didn't do that the first chance they got or thought they were imparting some great wisdom on me by telling me that was the next step.

"But sometimes," I say, "even when you apologize, they still don't forgive you, I guess. At least not fully."

"Just keep trying," Bigby says.

"That's easy for you to say," I laugh, "your thing was a lot less severe than kidnapping someone and locking them in a basement for weeks, giving them lifelong trauma, claustrophobia, and making their tennis elbow flare up. Not to mention the fact that she lost her job."

"You got me there," Bigby says, right when Aris says, "I called Linnea a cow in high school."

Bigby and I stop short, staring at Aris, our mouths open.

" What ?" I sputter, while Bigby says, "Damn, I knew you were mean, but that was vile."

"I'm just saying," he says, pink touching his cheeks. "I know sometimes you have to apologize a lot before someone believes you."

"But what if she forgives me," I say, "and what she wants is just different from what I want? She doesn't want to stay in Rosecreek, she wants to keep being a traveling nurse. She doesn't want to settle down."

We can't keep up the ruse of her being a shifter forever. What if we get invited to a hunt on Aris's property? We could claim she's shy about the shifting, but eventually, something would give, and everyone would figure it out, and they would all go back to hating me like they did when I was the monster roaming Rosecreek, stealing all the humans from their beds at night.

"Then you compromise," Bigby says, "you split the time. You find something that works for both of you."

I think of him and Rosa, having just come back from California. Would Veronica even want to do something like that?

Suddenly, I feel a little tug on my finger, and when I look down, I see the cutest gnome staring up at me, it's little eyes fixed on the Skittles in my hand.

"More," it says, and when Bigby glances over at it, he lets out the loudest, highest-pitch, most blood-curdling scream I've ever heard from a grown man, let alone a man that size.

The gnome screams back at him, only calming down when I give it another Skittle and Aris and I laugh all the way back into town.

***

"He did not scream like that," Linnea says, shaking her head. She's working on a dress for Araya, stitching it by hand in her armchair.

"Yes, he did," I insist, putting my fist to my mouth, trying to be quiet so I don't wake the kids.

"Oh, I'm sure he did," Rosa says, coming into the room and handing me a mug of tea. I take it, my heart filling. Apparently, we were in the woods a lot longer than we thought, because it was dark when we pulled up outside Aris's house, where the gnome would be staying until the morning when a magical creatures representative would come to rehome it.

When we pulled up, there was a message from the lead vampire waiting for Aris—him agreeing to the meeting. Aris had looked both pleased and troubled at once. It brought the mood down, at least until I got the opportunity to tell the story to the girls, who were crying with laughter by the time I got to the end.

"It wasn't that loud," Bigby says, collapsing onto the couch, and throwing his arms up over the back. He pats the cushion next to him, and Rosa rolls her eyes, settling in beside him cozily.

The sight of it makes me miss Veronica and makes me think about what Bigby and Aris said about apologizing and compromising with her. I would be willing to go to any lengths—honestly, as much as it would hurt, I'd be willing to leave Rosecreek behind and follow her from place to place if it meant not losing her.

"I miss laughing like this," Linnea says, looking up from her needlework. "It's good to have you back, Percy."

I swallow and look down at my lap.

"What?" Linnea says, instantly attuned to my discomfort.

"Oh, nothing," I say, my throat growing thick as I look around the circle. Aris walks in, handing Bigby a glass of whiskey. I look back to my tea—I've been trying to drink less, afraid that I might be wasting my life away—but right now, I wish I was having what they're having. "Sorry," I say, glancing up at her.

"Dude," Bigby says, his voice rough. "What's wrong?"

"It's just—" I say, taking a stuttering breath, "you guys don't have to say stuff you don't mean."

"What?" Aris says, his brow furrowing.

"You know, like—how you're glad I'm back, or whatever. The stuff about missing me."

" Percy ," Linnea says, her eyes wide. " Of course we missed you."

"I know what I did," I say, trying to keep my voice even. "I don't need you to pretend like it doesn't matter."

"Of course, it matters," Bigby says, getting to his feet and coming to stand near me, where I'm balancing on the arm of the couch. "It's not what you did, man—it's what happened to you."

"Percy," Aris says, "what the hell are you talking about right now?"

"I'm just—I'm the bad apple of the group," I say, dismayed when a single tear slips down my face. I hadn't meant to do this now, hadn't meant to burden them even further. "I know I probably bring shame to this pack, even with how powerful and influential it is, or whatever. I just want you to know that you don't have to pretend for my sake that it's not true."

"You are the best shifter in this fucking pack," someone says, and I look up to see Rosa, her eyes blazing. "I didn't even know you before they brought you into that cell. And the first thing you did the second you gained lucidity? You told me to take the suffering from someone else."

"We named our son after you, Percy because he had the brightest smile and the kindest face," Linnea says.

"I named my son after you because you were one of my best friends," Aris says, "and losing you was one of the hardest things I'd ever gone through. It helped to make me strong, and I wanted nothing more than for my son to be able to carry some of that strength.

"We missed you, man," Bigby says, his normally loud voice so quiet and low in front of me. The tears are streaming down my face now, but fortunately, nobody comments on it. I return my gaze to my tea, setting it down on the coffee table and folding my hands in my lap. A moment later, something collides with me, and I realize it's Linnea hugging me tightly. Rosa joins in, putting her arms around me. After a moment, I feel Bigby, and then finally Aris, join the group, and we're all standing in the Cadell's living room, hugging tightly.

"If you tell anyone I participated in this," Aris says when we pull away. "I will lie."