Chapter 3 - Vera

“Find anything good?” Evelyn went straight to the fridge, pulled out a carrot stick, and crunched into it. She peered at the paper lying on Vera’s lap. “I’m telling you, Vera, only old people are going to be taking out a newspaper ad. You need to use that app I sent you.”

Vera groaned and pulled her phone from her pocket. “It’s overwhelming, and I swear half of these are scams. Or sketchy dudes.”

She scrolled through the first few listings and read them aloud for Evelyn. “Like this one, Live-in maid, must be female, between 18 and 25. Seriously? Why the age requirement for a housekeeper? You know why.”

Evelyn made a face. “Gross. But maybe they’re just looking for someone young enough to handle all the work?”

“Oh, honey. I love that you think that’s a possibility, but no. They’re just a perv. And I’m too old for them anyway.” Vera swiped down to the next one. “Handyman. Eldercare.”

Swipe. Swipe. Her finger hovered over the next one, hesitating before she swiped it away. Urgent: Live-in nanny needed for full-time childcare. Housing and food provided. The listing went on to detail the pay and potential schedule, noting that there was room for flexibility if required. Details on the child or the home were sparse, probably to prevent any creeps from taking an interest.

“A nanny?” Evelyn asked, with an incredulous tone that made Vera bristle, remembering Evelyn’s previous comment about her working with kids. “That seems like a lot of work. Stuck with a kid all day, and it’s not even yours? Plus, you have to deal with the parents.”

“Parent,” Vera corrected automatically. The ad mentioned that it was a single father needing help. “It’s just the dad, apparently.”

At that, Evelyn wrinkled her nose. “Okay, that’s just as sketchy as the maid job. If someone left this guy, it must have been for a reason.”

Was that true? Rami had dumped her and hadn’t given her a reason, just that it wasn’t working out for him. But he must have had his reasons, hidden behind his inscrutable face, ones that he hadn’t wanted to reveal to Vera.

It was worse than knowing. Whatever he might’ve said, however harsh it might’ve been, it would have been better than being kept in the dark. Better than wondering how they’d gone from happy to nothing at all. He’d left her digging through the past like it was evidence, searching for clues at where it had all gone wrong.

She searched for the signs in every memory. Was it there in the corner of his eye when he held her at night? Or there, in his crooked smile, across the dinner table? Vera had liked his taciturn nature, the way nothing seemed to fluster him, but now she wondered if she’d just liked how easy it had made it for her, pretending he had negative emotions at all.

“Evie,” Vera said in what Moira had always referred to, not in a complimentary way, as her “teacher voice,” “there are so many reasons people end up as a single parent. What if the mother died? What if she was an addict? You can’t judge him for that. At least he’s stepping up to take care of the kid.”

“Sounds like the bare minimum to me,” Evelyn replied, popping the last of the carrot into her mouth. “It just seems like a lot of drama waiting to happen.”

She probably had a point, but Vera couldn’t bring herself to swipe the ad aside like the others before it. It called to her. That same niggling sensation she’d felt before had crept back into her spine. What if this was her only chance to experience a piece of motherhood?

“I’m going to apply.” She swiped to connect with the poster before she could overthink it, her heart thumping wildly. At that point, everything on the app was kept anonymous to protect both the applicant and the poster, and she had signed her message with only her first initial. “It’s two birds with one stone, housing, and a job, so I might as well at least try for it. I’m not exactly qualified, so I probably won’t get it anyway.”

But she really hoped she did.

Evelyn sighed. “Your funeral. I really don’t mind you staying here as long as you need to, though. Better than getting yourself murdered by some vengeful ex.”

Vera clicked send on the form and glanced up at Evelyn. “You’ve been living next to a cemetery for too long.”

“Probably,” Evelyn agreed. “I gotta go. There’s a Silversands meeting happening tonight, and I have errands to run before then. Need anything while I’m out?”

Ignoring the way her stomach flipped at the mention of Rami’s pack, she shook her head. “I’m good, thanks. See you tonight.”

Once Evelyn left, Vera swiped down to see that she’d missed two phone calls and a handful of texts from Moira. Unsurprisingly, her sister was befuddled by Vera’s unexpected visit and abrupt departure from the lighthouse. She should explain herself, but how? There was no way to sum up the mix of emotions that kept her tossing and turning at night, not without sounding pathetic.

Forgot I had somewhere to be but we’ll catch up soon, okay? She jotted off the quick text and sent it, well aware that Moira, of all people, would see right through the lie. It was one of the main reasons she’d been avoiding her—sisterly intuition would have Moira digging too deeply.

Her phone vibrated a second later. Vera braced herself for Moira’s justifiably acerbic response, but it was a notification from the job-searching app, not her sister. The father had already responded to her application. Probably a quick, easy no for him, she thought, pressing the notification to bring the app up. After all, she had no childcare experience unless he counted babysitting her own younger sister.

To her surprise, it wasn’t a rejection message. The man’s desperation came through in his brief reply, if it hadn’t been apparent from the quick response alone. He practically begged her to come that day for an interview.

Vera glanced around the shabby house, cluttered with knickknacks accumulated over generations, like she might find some excuse for why she couldn’t go. Her schedule was entirely empty. Chances were high that once he interviewed her and realized no, she hadn’t been downplaying her experience, he’d send her home, but at least she could say she tried. Maybe that’d be enough to get whatever baby-crazy phase she was going through out of her system.

She typed out her response, squashing the internal voice that kept asking if she was really doing this. While she waited for his reply, she searched for her most nanny-like clothes. Most of her wardrobe contained scrubs, but she found a plain T-shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans for a casual look.

His next reply came through, and she leaped for her phone. Her hands shook, blurring the screen slightly. He’d sent an address, the local park, to meet at and suggested a time only an hour away. Desperate. Maybe he wouldn’t say no. That thought was almost more frightening than him rejecting her.

See you there, she sent. Pulling on a pair of ankle boots and a lined jacket, she headed out. Walking to the park, rather than driving, would give her body something to do other than worry.

She tilted her face up to catch the sun, the promise of warmer air to come. Spring was there in the puddles of snow melting, dotting the grass and the tight knots of buds on the trees. Her wolf blood beckoned her like a siren’s call. But it was too easy to sink into that form lately, where emotions were dulled, and the simplicity of animal life was tempting as ambrosia.

Recently, there had been rumors of a curse afflicting werewolves. The curse trapped shifters in their wolf forms until they seemed to forget their human lives, abandoning even their packs to find a new home in the wilderness. Her pack, the Rosewoods, had begun an investigation into the rumors, pairing up with the Silversands, whose territory abutted their own.

While they hadn’t personally been targeted by the curse, Vera was wary of shifting too often in light of the rumor. Though perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing. Jobless, loveless, without even her sister to care for, she wasn’t a far cry from a purposeless beast.

She kicked a pile of slush and watched the crystals break and scatter over the sidewalk. If only that bastard hadn’t dumped her. Until then, she’d been holding it together, even with Moira’s move and the pressures of work. Then he’d broken her. Not her heart, of course, but her resilience.

And she’d never forgive him for it. She almost wondered if he’d pursued her just to break her down, but couldn’t imagine what his end goal was. She’d never done anything to give him reason for a vendetta against her.

Putting thoughts of Rami aside, she stopped in front of Hot Shots, the local cafe. Before entering, she looked through the large glass windows that made up the front wall, checking to make sure neither Moira nor Rami were inside, well aware that she looked insane. As long as they weren’t in the bathrooms, she was clear.

Jonah waved from his spot behind the counter. It was unavoidable running into Moira’s mate, given that he worked as a barista there, but he’d been surprisingly silent on the Moira front. He probably knew better than to stick himself in the middle of a fight between sisters.

“Hey Vera, how’s it going?” He asked, already getting her usual order ready.

“Fine,” she lied the biggest of lies, right to his face.

Nothing was fine. She was freaking out. Her life was being flushed down the drain; she was about to meet a stranger in a park, and she maybe wanted to be a mom? An inane little laugh bubbled out of her before she could stop it.

He took an extra step back, putting more space between them. “O-okay. Maybe only three shots today? You seem a little keyed up. Maybe.”

Vera forced her face into less of a rictus. “Jonah, if you give me fewer than four shots, I will reach across this counter and—“

“Got it, got it!” He pulled another shot into her travel mug and topped it off with hot water. “One extra-strong Americano for the woman who is totally fine.”

She glared at him. “I am fine. Perfectly fine.”

No doubt he would report all of this back to Moira. The last thing she needed was him to give her more reasons to call.

“This one is on the house.” Jonah waved her credit card away. “Look, Moira went by your place the other day and… well, it’s not your place anymore, is it?”

The pure gentleness and concern in his voice almost broke her. She felt her lip tremble in a horrifying fashion.

“I can’t talk about this right now. I’ve got an appointment to get to.” She fled the cafe, hot coffee spilling out of her mug.

Vera hurried to the park, head down, eyes on the ground where she wouldn’t accidentally meet the gaze of anyone walking by. She didn’t know what her face might reveal, and she could hardly trust herself not to cry. Cry. Like she was a child.

She spotted the man waiting beside the playground, his back to her as he rocked back and forth, the motion of someone soothing a baby. But she didn’t need to see his face to recognize him. His black hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, and he was bizarrely tall, the sort of tall that meant he had to bend going through doorways. Rami.

Just as she was about to leave, he turned. His arms stilled, and his mouth opened.

“Vera?”

“Rami.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Fury welled in her. Her name in his mouth felt like an assault.

And what was he doing with a baby? He was moving toward her and she was frozen in place, reeling. Was it a niece? Had he ever mentioned a sibling who might have left him with a child to care for? Had some tragedy happened, something that might explain not just the child but the sudden breakup?

“Please, don’t go,” Rami said, when he got close enough that her body finally, finally, realized the imminent threat and let her move. “I really need help.”

It was obviously true. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. “So you posted an ad?”

“And you’re the only one that replied.” He shushed the child as they started to squirm. “Please. Even if you can only help for a few days, I’ll keep looking for someone else. I just can’t do this alone.”

“Maybe you deserve to suffer a bit,” she spat, eyes flashing.

“Maybe,” he said, shrugging hopelessly, “but she doesn’t.”

He held the child out toward Vera. She was delicate, her skin the same soft brown shade as Rami’s, and honey-colored eyes. The child was unmistakably his. Betrayal was a white-hot lance, spearing through all her other emotions.

Even through it, Vera knew he was right. Whatever sins Rami had committed, the girl didn’t deserve to pay for them, and a tired, exhausted parent with no relief was the kind that made mistakes. Potentially deadly ones. When the baby girl started crying, Vera reached for her and Rami gently placed her in Vera’s arms.

“Her name is Jessa,” he said, reaching out to stroke a finger down the girl’s puffy cheek. “And yes, she’s mine. It was a one-night stand before we got together. Yes, I’m an asshole.”

“Don’t do that,” Vera said with a growl, looking up from Jessa. He was standing so close still, and she had to crane her head back to look in his face. “Don’t shit talk yourself and expect me to say, ‘Oh no, Rami, you’re not an asshole.’ Because I won’t play that role. I’ll just agree with you. Who was she anyway? Jessa’s mother?”

He blew out a long breath. “Fair enough. She was just a woman I met on a night out. She said she was on the pill but I should’ve been more careful.”

“You think?” It stung. Even if the mother was just a one-night stand, even though Rami and Vera hadn’t been together when he’d slept with her, they’d made a baby together.

“Look, she’s not coming back. I’m not looking for her. Can you help me or not? I’ve got a room for you to stay in, and we can just pretend to be roommates, nothing more. Any and all conversation will be in regards to Jessa.”

Jessa. The baby girl had settled in Vera’s arms, her eyes blinking sleepily. Something bloomed inside of Vera, something that the sharpness of her anger couldn’t frighten. Something good and gentle.

“Yes,” she said weakly, wondering how quickly she’d regret those words but powerless to stop them from coming out when Jesse’s little fingers wrapped around her own. “Yes, I’ll help you. But just for Jessa’s sake.”