Chapter 13 - Vera

Vera pushed the door open with her hip, her hands full of Jessa and her diaper bag and Vera’s own overstuffed bag. A few customers browsed the shelves. Rami was seated behind the desk, deep in his own reading. She strained to read the cover. Wait a minute. Was that a self-help book?

She recognized the title as one she’d recommended to him early on in their relationship, when she’d started to notice his recalcitrance anytime feelings were discussed. He was more than happy to discuss her own problems, but once the focus shifted to him, he clammed up. Too little too late. Whatever he did now wouldn’t be enough to get her back.

But there she was, showing up at his store to see him under the pretense of getting Jessa out of the house. She could’ve taken Jessa anywhere, the playground, the library, but she’d gotten in the car and driven them straight to Rami’s bookshop. Sometimes, she just had to make things hard for herself.

“Vera?” Rami hastily shoved the book he was reading under the desk and rose, a sheepish look on his face. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is something wrong? Is Jessa okay?”

Vera strolled over to the desk, standing on her tiptoes to steal a peek at his hidden book. “She’s fine. Happy. So, whatcha readin’?”

He stammered out a few syllables of nonsense before clearing his throat and trying again. “Just a bit of nonfiction I’m considering stocking. Want to make sure I can really talk about the books I’m selling.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” She took pity on him and let it drop. Seeing him squirm was enough to satisfy her. She checked her watch. “Isn’t the shop usually closed by now?”

The last of the customers had left without buying anything and it was just the three of them left in the little store.

“Usually, but I’ve been testing out some different opening hours.” Rami went over to the door and locked it, turning the sign to Closed.

Code for, I’ve been working extra to avoid being home with you. It was easy to translate Rami-speak after so much time together. She could even read the body language that went along with it. Downcast eyes equals I’ve got something I don’t want you to know. Crossed arms means don’t push I won’t tell you anything. She could write a book about it.

“And how are those working out for you?” Vera rolled out Jesse’s play mat and set her toys around it, placing her underneath an arch with objects she could bat at or kick. She seemed especially enamored by the mirror, and Vera couldn’t blame her—she was adorable.

“I haven’t collected enough data to make the call.” Rami crossed his arms over his chest, and Vera bit her cheek to keep from laughing. Called it.

“ Very scientific of you. Happy to see that I’m rubbing off.”

She took off her jacket and tossed it over his desk, then toed off her boots. The shop had her itching to reorganize. For as long as she’d known it, it had looked just as it did, and after seeing the sad selection of decorations in the backroom, she knew why. Rami needed help in the decorating department.

Unlike Moira, Vera had never gone in for the cozy, quaint aesthetic. Her house had been minimalist, with shades of grey and white, right angles, and sharp edges. Holiday decorations had never been her thing. But something about Rami’s stale space had her dying to change it up. Maybe it was just one way she could change him.

“I don’t like that look.” Rami interrupted her assessment of the space, crouching down to play with Jessa. “You look like a villain devising their master plan, like you’re about to start rubbing your chin or tapping your fingertips together.”

She did just that, hunching forward with a maniacal grin. “Who says I’m not?”

Rami followed her over to her bag, trying to steal a look over her shoulder. She shielded the view with her body. “What’s in there?”

He was so close, his chest bumping up against her back, sending white-hot sparks down her body. She scolded her hormones. Get it together. It’s never happening again. Vera spun around with a string of flowers and greenery in one hand and a strand of lights in the other.

“This place needs a pick-me-up,” she declared. “Go get the ladder.”

He peered down his nose at her in that imperious way that made her want to smack him. She only liked that look in bed. When he was waiting for her to stop being a brat, denying her whatever pleasure she was squirming for, that look could make her toes curl. Right then, it was having the unfortunate effect of reminding her that she’d never get that look, or the reward that came after it, again.

“I didn’t sign up for this. It’s a bookstore; why does it need decoration? People come for the books, not the looks.”

“If you’re not going to get the ladder, you can hang these up for me.” She thrust the flowers and lights into his hands before he could protest. “Right there above the window, okay?”

He opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it shut, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling like he was praying for help. “Fine. If it’ll make you happy. But don’t expect me to do this for every season,” he warned, making his way to the window. “No pumpkins, no pine. This is it.”

“Mmmhm,” Vera agreed, nodding innocently when he turned around, a suspicious look in his eye. “Whatever you say.”

“Don’t push it.” His no-nonsense tone sent pools of heat curling into her belly.

She loved that stern voice he used when he had her wrists pinned to the bed, and he was about to— Stop it. Get your mind out of the gutter. Her demand was only mildly effective. She couldn’t help staring at the play of his muscles beneath his shirt as he wrapped the garland around the curtain rod. He was tall enough not to need the ladder, effortlessly stretching up to add the lights.

“They’re a little bunched up over there.” She pointed to a section in the middle where, honestly, they were fine, but she wanted an excuse to watch his shirt tug up, revealing the six-pack he had hiding under there.

He grunted in annoyance but obliged, resettling the lights into a new arrangement. “How’s that?”

“Perfect.” She clapped her hands together and flashed him a smile. “Now for the next step.”

“Vera,” he warned, rounding on her. She backed away toward her bag. “There is no next step. This is already too much.”

“It’s barely anything. Don’t be a grinch.”

She rooted around in the bag for the bunny statues she’d picked up at a tag sale, brandishing them at him. “And look how cute these are!”

His lip curled. “Did Moira put you up to this? In all the time I’ve known you, kitschy decorating was never your thing.”

For some reason, it stung. He wasn’t even wrong. She wouldn’t have touched kitschy with a ten-foot pole. It was just another thing to dust, and she didn’t want anyone to think she was frivolous. But now? Now she looked at the bunny’s round little tail and long ears and couldn’t help thinking that it was actually cute.

“I changed. People can do that, you know.” She tried not to sound defensive but failed spectacularly, judging by the way he instantly softened.

One of the things she’d always loved about him was the way that he could tease and fling sarcasm with the best of them, but he never wanted to cross the line into actually upsetting her. Underneath his brusque demeanor, she’d always felt there was a teddy bear just dying to get out.

“Of course they can,” he agreed, reaching for one of the statues. “They’re… kind of cute. I guess. In their own way. Where are they going?”

“I thought they could sit on the seasonal display table.” She set her bunny next to a stack of spring-themed books with titles and taglines promising new beginnings and fresh starts. “Is this done?”

“Mostly. I’ve been stymied for a while. Something about it doesn’t feel quite right.” Rami placed his bunny just beside hers, so their large, ceramic feet were touching. He’d had to step in close to reach, his body brushing against hers. “I think he likes it right here, though. What do you think?”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Her words were breathy and there was no way Rami didn’t notice.

His dark eyes found hers and held them. “I’m glad you came, Vera.”

A hot flush ran up her neck and over her cheeks. She cursed her pale skin for showing every emotion so transparently. “Don’t get any ideas. I just thought it was a good idea in light of the curse. Our fractured relationship is what puts us in danger, so being friends is the best chance we have of resisting it.”

That’s what she was telling herself anyway. It wasn’t just an excuse to still be close to Rami; it was an important defense against the curse. And nothing to do with still getting that dose of dopamine she felt whenever he smiled at her, or looked at her, or touched her. Nope, definitely not that.

“Friends. Right.” A shadow passed over Rami’s face. He took a step back, and Vera could breathe again. “Speaking of, I ran into James at the pizza place.”

“I heard he was doing well enough to move around sometimes. He still falls back into that semi-comatose state, but I’d say it’s progress. As much as we can hope for right now, anyway.”

“Sure, it’s good news, but there’s something off about him.” Rami gathered up Jessa and held her close, rubbing his nose against hers and eliciting a happy giggle from the girl.

Outside, moonlight and shadows danced across the pavement. The moon was nearly full, sitting like a polished pearl above the town, and she felt the swell of its power in her veins. Though they could shift any time, their strength was at its greatest near a full moon.

“Off?” She frowned. “He’s cursed. I think that’s to be expected, but it’s not his fault, anymore than someone with a disease is at fault.”

He ran a hand over his stubbled jaw. “It’s more than that. He’s powerful. Powerful enough that he should be an Alpha somewhere. So what’s he doing wandering around on his own in the forest outside of our town? I don’t like it.”

“Is this just an ego thing?” Vera had never seen much bravado out of Rami.

He’d always been happy in his role as Jonah’s second, supporting his Alpha. Despite being the bigger, stronger wolf, he’d never expressed a desire to challenge the rankings, seeming to enjoy his position as bodyguard.

“I think she’s hungry.” Rami dug around in the diaper bag, one-handed.

Vera helped him, finding the bottles and formula. “Got it. Can we warm this up here?”

“We can.” He nodded at the door leading to the backroom. “But I don’t know.”

“What?” She paused, glancing from him to the backroom. Was there something he didn’t want her to see back there? Pictures of old girlfriends? A dartboard with her face on it?

“You didn’t bring the schedule, did you? We might forget to mark down the exact second she ate.” Rami beamed a smarmy smile.

Vera pulled one of Jessa’s stuffed toys from the diaper bag and launched it at Rami’s head, careful to avoid the baby in his arms. He took it to the forehead.

“Bastard,” she muttered, sweeping past him into the backroom. “And I’ll write it down once we get home.”

“I know you will,” he said in a sing-song voice.

She found the hot plate and a pan and warmed the water up, testing it on the delicate skin of her wrist before mixing it with the formula. “You know what I could do to you back here? And no one is around to hear you scream.”

Rami took the bottle and leaned against the wall, supporting Jessa in the crook of his arm. “I’ve thought a lot about what you could do to me back here, actually, only I’m not the one screaming.”

“Rami,” she warned. That familiar throb started between her legs, the ache for her mate and all the unspeakable, delicious things he did to her.

He shrugged. “I can’t help it, Vera. I spend far too much time thinking about you.”

Her heart spasmed. She felt torn in two. On one hand, she was grateful that Jessa was there. The baby was all that was keeping her from throwing herself at him and tearing off his clothes. He looked so damn good in the low light, casting his jaw in deep shadow. On the other, she was furious that he was doing this to her, now, when she’d finally shut him out of her heart for good.

Before Rami, before she’d been struck by the lightning of the mating bond, she’d never let anyone close enough to let them break her heart. He’d burrowed into her, found the tenderest place inside of her chest, and then left it raw and hollow.

At times, she’d wondered if it was just the challenge of him that had made him so irresistible. The way he hid so much of himself was a puzzle for her to unravel, and she’d never been able to put down an unfinished puzzle. Too late, she’d realized it was so much more. It hadn’t been the puzzle driving her to get closer, but a deep need to know all of him.

And he’d never let her in that far. She’d laid her cards on the table, and he’d kept them close to his chest. Kept her wondering what she meant to him, wondering about the pieces he kept hidden, wondering about their future. It was supposed to be simpler than that with your mate.

What he was doing to her now was just driving the knife in deeper.

“You made me feel like a fool,” she whispered, afraid that if she spoke up, her voice would crack, and tears would follow. “But it won’t happen twice. We can be friends now, Rami, because that’s what we need to be. Nothing more.”

He dropped his chin, hiding his eyes from her, but not before she saw something that looked remarkably like pain flash across them. Rejecting her had been his choice. She’d fought for them again and again. So why did it feel like she was the one walking away?