Chapter 20 - Grayson

As we rushed up the stairs from the basement, Forrest, Willow, and Kenzie sprinted down from Eli's old lab. I could sense the worry and desperation for speed coming from each of them, none as strong as Kenzie, though.

They pulled up to a quick stop as they reached us, and I held up my hands to keep them from rushing past me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just run down there. Leon is…I don't know. But he's ranting and raving down there like he's lost his mind."

Kenzie's face dropped, and her hand went to her middle like she might be sick.

"Kenzie? Are you—"

"Please, Grayson. These are the antidotes. We need to get them to the Alphas. They have to be hanging on by a thread, and I don't want to lose our friends because Leon got the drop on us."

I reached out, putting my hands on either of her shoulders. Kenzie's scent was so charred with concern that it was overwhelming, but behind it all was something different, which was also flaring brightly.

"Hey," I guided Kenzie a few paces away from the others, going near the little corner of the stairs where Forrest had hidden before, "what's going on? You're way more worked up than you would be usually. And something is…off. I can sense it. Talk to me."

Kenzie shook off my hands, glaring. "Talk to you? Oh, because now you want to have a chat."

The shot hurt, but it wasn't unfounded. Right now didn't seem like the best time to be having this conversation, but I had a feeling I wasn't getting out of it this time. Kenzie and I had barely been around each other since that night, and I owed her a few words, at least. I mean, hell, I'd promised her that she could go back with Jet and never have to see me again.

Yeah, I didn't like that original agreement as much anymore because… feelings , but that wasn't Kenzie's fault.

A hard sigh left me, and I dropped my hands from Kenzie's shoulders. As I raked my fingers through my hair, I nodded, staring down at the floor.

"Fair. I've been avoiding things." When I looked back up at her, Kenzie met my eyes with a combination of shock and relief washing over her face. "But I made you a promise. I'm Alpha, so you don't have to stay here with me. I would like your help, obviously. A lot's going on right now."

"You have no idea." The words came out of Kenzie in a whisper, her eyes tracking down to the floor as her eyebrows flared up.

I leaned in, trying to put my face in her view, and when she finally looked up again, I raised my brows at her.

"What's that supposed to mean? Is there something you're not telling me?"

I knew there was. I just knew it, and as Kenzie continued to stare at me, her expression was somewhat neutral, but her scent betrayed her nervousness.

"Kenzie?" I held her eyes as she looked up at me from beneath her lashes. "Kenzie, what is it? Does this have anything to do with why you smell different?"

She flinched back, trading her glances between the floor and me. "I…I smell different?"

Nodding, I cocked my head to the side with a bit of a shrug. "You do. It's…It's not bad. Nothing like that, but something's changed . It's like there's more, more behind the paper and ocean fragrance. Something…new."

Her mouth opened to speak, but Kenzie hung there in the moment, the words not finding her. Then, she got this faraway look in her eye, like she was hearing something I couldn't, and Kenzie's hand went to her stomach again.

"Are you okay?" I gripped her elbows as she wobbled slightly in front of me. "Please don't puke on me. I'm so not good with sick people. That's your gig."

Kenzie laughed in a rough, hard cut of noise that didn't ring with any sincere humor. I could tell that she was reeling from something, char muddling her scent. Where I held her, I could feel a slight tremble in Kenzie's arms, and worry passed through my body, making my spine go rigid.

" Are you okay, Kenzie? You're freaking me out."

" You're freaking out? Oh, sure. You know I didn't ask for any of this."

Kenzie glared at me, pointing her finger right in my face.

"First, you finally return the interest I've shown in you for years, only to then reject me as your mate. Then, you want to pretend to be mates so that you can become Alpha, and then you wind up sleeping with me again because your dumb self makes me go into heat. And now, I'm stuck in this fucking compound with rabid Alphas, Leon of all people, and the necessity to deliver antidotes, when I should probably be far fucking away from violence given my condition. Ugh!"

My brain was spinning, and it blended with the guilt that I'd been feeling for as long as I could remember, at least when it came to Kenzie. I'd known she was interested; of course I did. It wasn't like she hid it.

I had been interested, too. Hell, I was now, if I was being honest with myself, which was, of course, a massive problem for me. And I didn't think through my actions when I rejected her. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life and the final nail in the coffin when it came to my cowardice.

Because that's what it was. I was a damn coward when it came to relationships and love and romance. I didn't understand how to be a part of them, and I was too fucking scared to try because I'd lost my parents, my adoptive sister, and very nearly my Alpha and best friend.

Opening myself up to Kenzie just felt like an invitation for pain. So, instead of just talking about it, I turned that pain on Kenz.

Ugh, I'm such a royal asshole. I should have—Wait. Did she say condition?

Shaking myself back into focus, I met Kenzie's eyes again, lowering my head to be more level with her.

"I'm sorry. Did you say…what condition?"

Kenzie slumped against the wall behind her, sighing. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes, but that hand of hers was still at her stomach. Nervous, bustling energy built in my veins. And while I was starting to understand what she could possibly mean, I wasn't about to let myself admit that might be it.

"You know, Grayson. I'm tired. But, " she looked up at me, "I'm also not in pain anymore. Being close—that mate ceremony—did something to the rejection. Healed it a bit, and I know that it could be healed more. And the truth is…"

I could sense Kenzie gearing up for something, and every fiber was on alert. I was suddenly acutely aware of the others nearby who could undoubtedly hear our conversation even as we kept our voices down. Part of me really wished for a more private place to have this discussion, but the rest of me was on edge, desperate to hear what Kenzie was about to say.

And I was really going to have to examine that at some point.

"I think I want that. Maybe. But there's a lot more that we need to discuss before that's a guarantee. Still, if we're going to have this discussion, if we're finally going to lay it all out there, I want to do so now. There is something that I haven't told you. Partly because we've had no time and several interruptions, but also because I didn't know how to say it."

Anticipation was a cruel state of being, and I gripped Kenzie's elbows just a hair tighter, hungry for her words.

"I'm pregnant."

Everything stopped, and I felt distinctly like I'd just been kicked in the nuts. Nausea swam up my stomach, and I wobbled on my feet like a damned cooked noodle. All I could do was blink and gape at Kenzie like she'd grown a second head.

Nope, not a head. A person. She's growing a person—a baby.

After several moments of nothing, just me standing there in shock, Kenzie scoffed, tossing her head back as she pulled her arms away from me.

"For God's sake, Grayson, would you please say something."

I shook myself, blinking again, and managed to stand up straighter, clearing my throat.

"I…holy shit." The world was tilted on its axis, the sky was fucking purple, and hell had frozen over. "You're pregnant. Actually… pregnant ."

Rolling her eyes at me again, Kenzie nodded. "Yes, okay. I just found out."

"And…and you're sure it's…mine?" I was a stuttering mess, and Kenzie glared all the harder after I asked.

I realized it was a dick thing to say too late. But the truth wasn't that I believed she was sleeping around more than…how could it be possible that I sired a child? I never thought I'd be capable of that.

"Yes, it's yours, you dick. I haven't slept with anyone else."

Shaking my head, I squeezed my eyes shut, waving my hands through the air. "No, no. I'm sorry. That's not…dammit. I'm just…surprised. I didn't think I'd be able to…holy shit."

Kenzie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she leaned back against the wall. "You said that already."

I stooped down into her field of vision, ducking my head so that I could make eye contact with her.

"I'm sorry, Kenzie. I'm just…wow. I really didn't think it was possible. With all the low birth rates and with how sudden that heat came on. I'm a little shaken, okay?"

"Ha," she scoffed, "you're shook? How do you think I feel? I had no control over my body in that moment, and it feels like I still don't. But there it is. It's all out there now. You don't have to say anything else. I'm just going to go help Willow and Forrest with the antidotes, and we can talk later."

She moved to leave, but I snagged Kenzie's arm and kept her back from the others.

"I don't want you anywhere near those rabid Alphas right now. Are you kidding me? You're pregnant. What if you get hurt ? That could affect…things."

There was a beat where Kenzie just glared again, but after a moment, she pulled her arm away and jabbed a finger into my chest.

"I'm not a porcelain doll, Grayson. I'm still capable of defending myself—and the baby. If you think that I'm less capable now that I'm pregnant—"

"I don't. That's not what I'm saying. Ugh." I sighed, stepping back and hanging my head before I looked up at Kenzie again. "Could you please just stay back this one time? We can talk more and maybe figure this out."

"We'll be fine, Kenzie. I think you need to chat with Grayson." Forrest's voice was calm and supportive, like some den mother, and I sort of wanted to smack him.

Throwing up her arms, Kenzie shoved off the wall and headed toward the stairs. "Fine! Let's go fucking talk!"

Tension rippled through the room, and I cast a glance at Kaiden and Jet over my shoulder. They both offered nods accompanied by understanding looks. It was clear I had their sympathy, and if anyone knew what I was going through, it was them.

As I hurried along after Kenzie, I didn't know how to feel. Everything was so different now, and it would be really hard to deal with all this and have a child in the mix. Did I even want a kid?

Except as the rhetorical question left my brain, my stomach pinched. I knew exactly how I was feeling. I knew that of all the things that I never thought I'd have—so I didn't bother to get my hopes up for it—being Alpha and being a father were tied for first.

Fate had proved that both were actually within reach, and I was downright giddy that this was my new reality. I was thrilled. I wanted to be with Kenzie and witness the incredible growth of a child—our child. I wanted that more than I'd wanted anything, which was weird and terrifying and wonderful.

But you've done nothing to make your situation better, now have you, Grayson? No. This? This is going to take some work.