23. Jacob

Chapter 23

Jacob

Archer nudges me awake. "Hey, time to go."

I groan and press my face against his chest. He smells of sweat, sand, and salt. The sun prickles my skin. "Must we?"

I'm amazed neither of us fell off the sun lounger. I have Archer to thank for that. His arm is wrapped tightly around me, anchoring me to his side. Has he slept at all?

"Yeah. But we don't have to tell them anything. It's okay if you've changed your mind."

"Have you?"

He smiles and shakes his head.

"Then nor have I."

"Sure?"

I grimace. "No, but I can't keep pretending I'm not madly in love with you."

He quirks a brow. "Madly in love? That's a step up from last night."

I push up and peck his lips. "No, it's not. I guess I'm feeling romantic this morning."

"I like it."

I stroke his hair behind his ear. "I love you. It's time to tell Dad and Molly that."

The moment we stand, a man puts a towel on the sun lounger, which is in a prime spot. Nearly all the sun loungers have towels claiming them now, even though it's early. We trudge across the beach to the palm-lined road and walk towards the villa, our footsteps slow and heavy.

I could still change my mind, but I won't. Archer deserves more than to be kept in the shadows of my life, but it's hard not to imagine what Dad will say. Or Mum. Will they be disappointed in me? Will it hurt more if Mum despises my choices? Will she be able to accept Archer for who he is, or will her emotions be clouded by whose son he is?

Why did Dad have to have an affair?

Of course if he hadn't, I'd probably never have met Archer. I only went to that bar to drown my sorrows because Dad married Molly out of the blue. It's funny how things turn out. Not that I'm going to thank Dad anytime soon, but my happiness is a by-product of his affair.

We're holding hands, but as the villa comes into sight, Archer pulls his hand out of mine. I give him a quizzical look.

He smiles coyly. "Habit."

My stomach churns. It shouldn't be a habit for either of us. I did this. I insisted on secrecy.

I hold his hand firmly. "No more pretending."

His smile becomes a little more brilliant, though still fragile. Does he think I'm going to back out at the last second? I wouldn't blame him if he did. I've been a coward. Why should he believe I'm going to go through with telling everyone? I squeeze his hand. I will go through with it. I'm not going to back out. I'm not going to be a coward.

We reach the door. I take a deep breath. Archer unlocks it and lets us in. The villa is quiet. Neither Dad nor Molly is in sight. I slump my shoulders.

"Huh. I guess they're still asleep." Archer stifles a yawn. "It must be earlier than I thought."

"Did you sleep?" I ask.

"On and off. Coffee?"

I nod.

He tugs his hand. I refuse to let go.

He laughs. "I can't make coffee one-handed."

"Sorry."

He kisses me and slips his hand out of mine. This time, I let him. I sit at the table while he makes coffee. The bitter scent fills the open-plan room. My stomach grumbles, reminding me how long it's been since I ate anything substantial. I gather bread, butter, cheese, and fruit and put them on the table.

"Morning. I didn't hear you boys come home last night. I'd love a cup of coffee if there's enough spare," Molly says.

"Morning." Archer gets a third mug out of the cupboard, fills it, and carries all three to the table. Is that a trick he learnt working behind a bar? He sits beside me. Close yet distant.

"Where's Dad?" My knee bounces beneath the table. My nerves are fraying.

"Showering. He'll be out soon. Did you come home last night?" Molly cradles a cup of coffee and looks at us in turn, her eyes gleaming with curiosity.

We're wearing last night's clothes and smell of the club. Surely she doesn't need to ask us that?

"No," Archer replies matter-of-factly.

"You met up on your way here?" Molly's tone is uncertain.

Archer glances at me.

I curl my hand into a fist and press it against my knee to stop it from jiggling up and down. "No."

Molly frowns. "Was it one of those clubs that stays open until dawn?"

"I don't know. We left before it closed." I will do this. I will. I need to find the right words. It would be easier if Dad were here too. Then I'd only have to say it once. Where is he?

His whistle precedes him.

My knee goes crazy, along with my pulse. My throat becomes dry.

He wanders out of the corridor leading to the bedroom. "Ah, coffee. Is there some left for me?"

"There should be. If not, I can make some more," Archer says.

"They stayed out all night," Molly says.

Dad pours himself a mug of coffee. "I hope you were careful and took precautions with whichever men you slept with."

"Was it the man who wrote his number on your arm?" Molly gestures to Archer.

His cheeks blaze pink, and he rubs his hand over the phone number. It doesn't smudge, let alone come off. "I didn't sleep with anyone."

"Then why were you out all night?" Molly asks.

He shifts in his chair, cups the mug in his hands, blows over the surface, and then puts it on the table. "We were talking."

"The two of you?" Dad motions between us.

Archer nods.

Molly beams. "It's so good you're finally getting along."

"About that?—"

"Your animosity towards Archer was always ridiculous, Jacob. I hope you've apologised for your ignorant behaviour. Maybe you'll start being civil towards Molly too."

Archer clenches his teeth.

I lift my chin and do my best to ignore Dad's jibes. "There's something I need to tell you." I'm speaking to Dad and Molly, but I'm looking at Archer.

He gives me an imperceptible nod. "There's something we need to tell you."

"What?" Dad leans against the kitchen counter and sips his coffee.

"We love each other," I reply.

"We want to be together," Archer says.

Dad snorts. "Don't be ridiculous. If this is some kind of joke, it's not funny."

I put my hand on Archer's thigh. "It's not a joke. We've been seeing each other for a while."

Dad's face flushes bright red from the chin up, like someone is filling a glass with blackcurrant juice. "You can't be."

"Why?" Archer asks.

"Because I'm married to your mother."

"So?"

Dad glares at me. "You did this to get back at me, didn't you? You thought it would be funny to sleep with your stepbrother as punishment for my relationship with Molly."

I stand and rest my hands on the table, returning his angry stare. "No."

"What are people going to say, Jacob?"

"Why would they say anything? Everyone knows we've only been stepbrothers for five minutes. We're not related."

"Is that really what you think?"

I want to say yes, but the words stick in my throat.

Dad laughs. "Don't be so naive. No one is going to care how long you've been brothers. They only see that Molly and I are married, and they think you're disgusting. Which you are."

"We're not. We're not doing anything wrong," Archer says.

"I'd expect naivety from someone of your age, but Jacob is more than old enough to know how the world works. He knows people judge. He knows people will talk about you."

How dare he talk to Archer like that? The anger that's been simmering inside me since I found out about his affair with Molly boils over.

I slam my hands against the table. "You didn't give a damn what people would think when you had an affair, so why should I care now?"

Dad opens and closes his mouth a few times. "It's not the same."

"No. It's not. You destroyed your marriage. You broke Mum's heart. Archer and I aren't hurting anyone."

Dad gestures to Archer. "He's using you, Archer. This is some pathetic attempt to get back at me."

"No, it's not." Archer stands and holds my hand. "We didn't know who each other was when we met."

"When did you meet?" Molly asks.

"The day you and Dad told me you'd got married. I went out to get drunk," I say.

"He wandered into the bar where I work. I thought he was cute, so I persuaded him there were other ways to destress." Archer smiles at me and swings my arm.

"I didn't know you had a son. How could I have slept with Archer out of spite?"

"And I didn't even know you were married until the next day," Archer says.

"But you carried on after you found out," Dad yells.

"Not at first." I fight to keep my voice calm.

"And you've been lying all this time," Dad says.

"Like you can talk. How long did you lie to Mum? How many other women did you screw behind her back before Molly? You can't expect me to be perfect when you're far from it. Take a good long look in the mirror before you dare to judge me, Archer, or our relationship."

"You need to break up."

"No."

"It would mean a lot to me if?—"

"No!" I scream at him. I'm not just saying no to this ridiculous request but also to the hundreds of times he's said those words. The hundreds of times I've cowed down to him because I thought I had to. I won't let him bully or manipulate me ever again.

Molly moves to the space between the table and the kitchen. She raises her hands, turning one palm to Archer and me and the other to Dad. "Tensions are running high right now. We should take a few moments to think before you say anything you can't take back."

Archer puts his hands on either side of my face and stares into my eyes. "Are you okay?"

My chin trembles. Tears prickle. "No."

He pulls me to him, holding me tightly, and rubs my back. I breathe harshly against his shoulder. I don't want to give Dad the satisfaction of seeing me cry because of him.

"Let's go for a walk. Give Mum a chance to calm your dad down," Archer says.

Will she be able to? Do I even want her to? At this point, I'm not sure I care anymore.

"If you leave together, don't come back," Dad snaps.

"I don't think anyone should say anything else until you've all calmed down." Molly crosses to Dad and puts her hand on his chest.

She smiles at Archer and me. "He didn't mean it."

"I—"

Molly slaps her hand over Dad's mouth. "Having a bit of time apart is a good idea. Do you have your phones?"

Archer pats his pocket and nods.

"Good. I'll message you. We'll sit together later and have a calm conversation."

Archer takes my hand and leads me to the door. I follow, too exhausted to fight.

He pauses with his hand on the handle. "Mum, how do you feel about all this?"

"You're my son, and I love you."

"That's not an answer." His voice is halting and wobbly.

"Does Jacob make you happy?"

"Yes."

She looks at me. "Are you using my son?"

"No."

"No part of this is to get back at me or your dad?"

"No. I love him."

She nods. "Then I don't see a problem with the two of you being together."

"Molly!" Dad snaps.

She rolls her eyes and turns to him.

"Are you okay? You could come with us," Archer says.

"I'll be fine."

Archer stares at her for a moment. "Let's go."

We get as far as the crowded beach before I can't hold my tongue any longer.

"How could he think I'm using you?"

Archer rubs my shoulders and pulls me into an embrace. "Do you want an honest answer?"

I press my forehead against his shoulder. Am I going to like what Archer has to say?

"I haven't known your dad long, but I've noticed he loves to use every little thing you do against you. I think he looks at you and sees a better, kinder, more loving person than he can ever be, and he hates it."

I lift my face and look at Archer through tear-blurred eyes. "What?"

"He's jealous of the man you've become. Plus, he's a bully. He makes himself feel better by putting you down."

I sniff. Is he right?

Archer runs his fingers through my hair. His soft smile soothes my aching heart. "Telling people is going to be easier from here on out."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, but remember, I'm an optimist." He winks. "Do you want to call your mum?"

"I don't think I've got the energy right now."

"Fair. What do you want to do?"

"Be close to you." I cup his cheek. "I need to be with you, Archer."

"You are."

I skim my fingers over his jaw. "Not like this. I need you."

"I'd like that too, but we don't have anywhere we can go to be alone."

I look towards the multitude of huge hotels that line the beach.

"What are you thinking?" Archer asks.

"One of them must have a vacant room."

"At this time in the morning?"

"Sure. People will have left for early flights. Or maybe not all the rooms are full." I pat my pocket, making sure I have my wallet. "I'll rent us a room. If you want to." What if he doesn't?

Archer laughs. "Of course I want to. But you could end up getting ripped off."

I kiss him fiercely. "I don't care. I need you, Archer. I need to know that, despite everything Dad said, despite everything I said, we're still okay."

He nuzzles my nose. "We're definitely okay, Jacob. I'm proud of you."

"You…are? For what?"

"Standing up to your dad."

"Let's go and find a room to rent."

Hand in hand, we stroll off the beach towards the closest hotel.

"We should go to a pharmacy too," he says.

"Why?"

"I don't have condoms or lube in my pocket, and I think we're going to need both, don't you?"

My cheeks become hot. I'd been so consumed by my need to be close to him I hadn't thought of the practicalities.

We find a pharmacy long before we find a hotel with a vacancy. In the end, we have to go a fair way from the beach to find a hotel with an empty room. I wince at the extortionate rate but pay in advance for one night. Archer was right. I've been ripped off. Then again, what must the man think? We turned up in the middle of the morning, in last night's clothes, without luggage. It screams ‘We're here for sex'. I'm beyond caring what the man thinks of us. I need to be close to Archer.

The moment we enter the simple room, I push Archer against the wall, press against him, and kiss him.

"Déjà vu." He pecks my lips.

"I was wearing a tie last time."

"Yeah. That was hot." He pushes my T-shirt up and runs his hands over my back.

I grimace. "We're still gross from the nightclub."

"Don't care. Do you?"

"No. We can get clean later."

"Exactly."

I wrap my arms around him, manoeuvre us to the bed, and tip us onto it. We lie together for a while, kissing, touching, exploring. Gradually, our clothes come off until we're naked, our bodies hot and heaving.

"I love you. Make love to me, Archer."

He pushes up on his elbow and stares into my eyes as he tangles his fingers through my chaotic hair. "You want me inside you?"

"Yes." I'm breathless and dizzy. I don't want to wait until we're home. I want to show him how much I need and want him.

He nuzzles and kisses my jaw. "If that's what you want."

"Do you want to top me?"

He chuckles. "Heck, yes, but only if you're sure. You prefer to top, and that's cool with me."

"Prefer, yes. That doesn't mean I never bottom. I want to, with you. I know you'll take care of me."

Archer moves his elbow and flops beside me. "How long has it been?"

"A while."

"I'll warm you up nice and slow. If you change your mind?—"

"I won't."

He smiles. "If you change your mind, tell me. We can pivot."

He gets the lube and a condom and encourages me to shuffle up the bed with him so we're spooning with our heads on the fluffy, cloud-like pillows, him behind me. He holds and kisses me for the longest time. Mostly my jaw, neck, and shoulders, but I turn my face so he can kiss my lips. My skin is grungy. We both stink. Yet I'm so turned on that even the slightest touch makes me tingle and groan. At this rate, I'll come the second he touches my arsehole.

"I've missed being with you," I whisper.

"Me too."

Pop . He squeezes some lube onto his fingers and rubs them together to warm it up. I turn my face, desperate for him to kiss me, and slip my tongue into his mouth. He grazes the pad of his finger over my aching hole.

"Oh, fuck." I suck in a breath.

"Nice?" He brushes his lips over my shoulder.

"Yes. Archer?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you chat me up that night at the bar?"

"Because you're good-looking and sexy. I'm glad I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have got to know you. I'd never have found out how loving and kind you are. And I still think you're hot." He presses a little more firmly with his finger and pushes it inside me, past the tight ring of fluttering muscles, burying his finger deeper.

I suck in a breath and exhale slowly. "Fuuuck. That feels so good." I tip my head against his shoulder, my body turning to jelly. "It's never felt so good. Why?"

He works his finger back and forth. "I don't know, but I'm glad you like it."

I lick my lips and close my eyes. He continues to kiss my neck and warm up my arse with heart-wrenching tenderness. Why does it feel so good with him? Will it feel as wonderful once he's got his cock inside me? What makes Archer different from the other guys I've bottomed for? I was attracted to them, physically at least. It's so much more than that with Archer. Yes, I find him sexy, but I'm in love with all of him. Being close to him now is more than sex. We connect in a beautiful way that makes my heart tremble and my skin tingle.

"I love you," I whisper.

"Love you too. I'm going to add a second finger now, okay?"

"Yes." I inhale, bracing myself.

When he puts two fingers inside me, it stings a little, but it passes quickly. The way he's kissing me helps me relax utterly and completely.

"Oh, Archer." I grind my hips against his hard, leaking cock. "I need you."

"Not yet. I don't want to hurt you."

"You never could."

"I could, but I wouldn't."

"I'll never hurt you either." We're not talking about sex anymore, are we?

"I know." He pulls me tighter against him so his cock is nestled between my thighs as he continues to warm up my arse. He sucks my earlobe into his mouth and then kisses me behind my ear. "Jacob." His voice is a soft, desperate whine.

"Yes?"

"When did you last get tested?"

My heart patters. "You want—" I swipe my tongue over my lips.

"Can we? We haven't slept with anyone else since we met. It's okay if you don't want to. I'm being crazy. I just thought…I wondered?—"

I half turn so I can look him in the eyes and cup the far side of his face. "You're not being crazy."

"Tell me to be sensible. Tell me we can't."

I stroke his cheek. "We can't. Not right now." I tip my forehead against his. "We can get tested as soon as we get home."

He nods. "Okay. I just?—"

"Needed to be close?"

"Yes."

"We are. So close my heart is going to burst. I'm ready, Archer. Put the condom on. Make love to me."

"Sure?"

"I've never been surer about anything in my life. Except you."