22. Archer

Chapter 22

Archer

"You—?" Had I heard him correctly over the blare of the music? Even though my brain is telling me I misheard, the pitter-patter of my heart tells me I didn't.

Jacob holds my hands. "I love you and don't want to hide it anymore. Not from you. Not from anyone."

Oh. Wow. Jacob loves me? "We need to talk. But not here."

"Where?"

I tap my finger against my lips. We can't go to the villa. "The beach. It'll be quiet at this time. Come on."

We push our way through the dancing crowd to the exit. The bouncer stamps the back of our hands so we can get back in if we want to. Not likely. Jumbo Centrum buzzes with activity and noise, but once we get to the beach, it's quieter and darker. We take our shoes and socks off and sit on the sand, with the water lapping at our toes. Moonlight reflects on the ocean, creating glittering peaks of light and troughs of darkness. Out here, the crash of small waves breaking on the shore is deafening.

My heart is still pattering like a heavy rainstorm. I'm breathless, even though we strolled down here, and more than a little giddy. How am I meant to respond? I've never been in love. How do I know if what I'm feeling for Jacob is love or simply infatuation? How does he know he's in love with me? Has he ever been in love? For the first time since I met him, the weight of our age gap hits me in full force. I'm only twenty-one. Is that old enough to be in love? But when I think about not being with Jacob, my chest tightens.

"You said we needed to talk." Jacob's voice wobbles with uncertainty. Or is it fear?

"Umm…yeah. Give me a few. I'm trying to get my thoughts in order." I touch my temple.

Jacob smiles. "Take all the time you need." He draws his knees to his chest, loops his arms around them, and stares at the ocean.

He's amazing. He must be freaking out internally about what I'm going to say, but he's not pressuring me to speak or say ‘I love you' in return. Is the crazy beat of my heart telling me I do love him?

Why wouldn't I? He makes me smile and laugh. I adore talking to him, holding him, and running my fingers through his crazy hair. I've lost count of the times he's made me swoon during this holiday alone. He's not perfect—who is?—but he's perfect for me. And I've answered my own question.

I take his hand and brush my thumb back and forth over it. "I love you too."

He breathes out hard. He can't have been holding his breath this whole time. Can he?

I put a steadying hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

He frowns. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here thinking, but if you've been holding your breath that long, you must be about to pass out."

He laughs, cups my cheek, and kisses me softly. "I haven't been holding my breath all that time. Maybe for about half of it."

I run my fingertips along his jaw and cheekbone. "Not feeling dizzy?"

"Yes, but not because I was holding my breath."

"Oh?"

"Because a beautiful guy just told me he loves me." He grasps my hand and kisses the back.

"I meant it."

"I meant it too."

"So, what now?"

If we were at my flat, we'd probably end up making love, but that's not possible here. Aside from the fact Jacob is a keep-it-in-the-bedroom guy, the threat of getting arrested for indecent exposure in a foreign country isn't sexy at all. Nor is the thought of all the places sand could get if we got hot and heavy. Sand in my butt crack? No thanks.

"We tell people we're a couple," Jacob says.

"Seriously?"

His cheek muscles flex, and his mouth wobbles. "Yes."

"You sound certain, but you don't look it."

"I'm scared," he whispers.

"I know."

"But the only way we can have a future together is if we're open and honest. With everyone. So yes, I'm scared about how people will react. But fear didn't stop me from jumping out of a plane?—"

"For charity."

He chuckles. "Love is as powerful a reason as charity, don't you think?"

"Maybe more powerful."

He kisses me. "Exactly. Which is why I can't let fear stop me from telling the world I love you."

I raise my eyebrows. "The world?"

"Let's start with family."

I bite my bottom lip and rest my forehead on his shoulder. "Jacob?—"

"Yeah?"

"It's not just our families we might get backlash from." I twirl shapes in the sand with my fingertip.

"I know."

"I don't know how conservative your boss is, for example."

"Aren't you the one who wants to tell everyone? The one who thinks other people's opinions don't matter?"

"I was. I am." I lift my head. "But I'm also a naive idealist. I don't want to cause trouble for you with your dad or your boss or anyone. And I've come to realise that bringing our relationship into the open won't be as straightforward as I want it to be. I?—"

Jacob pinches my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger and presses his lips to mine. The kiss is almost as intense as the one in the club. It steals my breath and makes my heart go crazy again.

"I love you," he says.

I touch my lips. "Yep, I'm definitely getting that vibe from you."

"I want to be with you."

"I'm getting that vibe too."

"We can't do that in secret."

"No."

He strokes my cheek. "It might not be easy, but it will be worth it."

"Are we strong enough to weather the storm?" I whisper, mentally thanking Regan for the metaphor.

"There's only one way to find out."

"What if we're not?"

Jacob kisses my forehead. "What if we are?"

If there were ever words to get tattooed on my skin… An impulsive holiday tattoo is a bad idea.

"We don't have to say anything until you're ready," Jacob says.

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be. If I wait until I'm not scared, I'll never do it."

"Why now?"

Jacob purses his lips and looks past me. "A lot of reasons. That guy writing his number on your arm. Not being able to enjoy the sunset with you as I'd imagined. Not being able to kiss you or even smile at you whenever I want to. Realising how right being with you feels. Plus, I don't want to feel like a naughty kid sneaking around all the time. I don't want to get caught with my pants around my ankles like Dad did."

"Us being together is completely different to your dad and Mum."

"Exactly. We're not doing anything wrong, Archer. Why should we hide?"

I laugh. "Didn't I say something along those lines ages ago?"

Jacob smiles. "Yes. I'm sorry it took me so long to get on the same page as you."

"Only for me to wobble about it."

"Are you done wobbling?"

I blow out a slow breath. "I think so."

"You bring out the best in me, Archer. I want to be with you. I love you. Let's stop hiding."

"Okay."

We wrap our arms around each other and kiss, our tongues tangling. A ball of emotion twists and turns in my chest. Love, fear, and excitement all mixed into something overwhelming. I press against Jacob. He holds me tight, grounding me, making me feel like we can overcome whatever gets thrown at us. He tips us onto our sides. The sand tickles and itches my arm, but I don't care. I can't get enough of kissing Jacob. He makes me feel safe and wanted. So what if I'm only twenty-one? I'm old enough to know who and what I want, and I want Jacob.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips. "But can we get off the sand?"

He laughs, pulls me to my feet, and leads me along the beach until we find some sunbeds. They probably belong to one of the hotels lining the beach, but who cares? It's not like there's any competition for them at stupid o'clock in the morning. We lie on one together. Jacob rests his head on my chest. I stroke his hair, and he lifts my T-shirt and brushes his fingers over my side.

"We'll have to go back to the villa before it gets light," Jacob says.

"Will we? Can't we stay here?"

"Our parents will worry."

"Nah. Mum will think we hooked up and spent the night with guys in hotel rooms."

"I wish we could. That came out wrong."

I laugh. "What did you mean to say?"

He looks up at me. "I wish we could spend the night in a hotel room. You and me. I want to make love."

I sigh. "Me too."

He lays his head on my chest again. "Archer?—"

"Yeah?"

"When we get home, will you make love to me?"

"Me topping you?"

"Yes."

My breath hitches. "You want that?"

"Yes."

"I'd love to. When are we going home again?"

"Not soon enough."

"Isn't that the truth?" I flop one arm against my forehead and stare at the sky.

Dark wisps of clouds drift over the bright full moon. It's cooler than during the day but warm enough to be out here in a sleeveless top and shorts. My eyelids are heavy. I press my lips together to stifle a yawn.

"Who do you want to tell first?" I ask.

"Dad and Molly are here."

"You don't want to wait until we get home?"

"Not unless you do. I'm done hiding. And maybe a part of me needs to get it out in the open while I'm feeling brave."

"You're afraid if you don't do it now, you won't?"

Jacob nods.

"Now is good." What's the worst that can happen? Mum and Barry could be so mad they throw us out of the villa. Yeah, it's probably best not to think about worst-case scenarios.

"Then I'd need to call Mum. I don't want her to find out second-hand."

"Of course not. Will she be okay that you've fallen for me ?" I am the son of the woman her husband had an affair with.

"I hope so. However our parents react, we'll get through it." Jacob hugs me tight.

I return his fierce, comforting embrace. "Yes, we will. I'm sure of it."