32. Oliver

Chapter 32

K atherine’s existence in our lives isn’t something I can simply ignore, no matter how often I might try to convince myself it is.

In the beginning, I told myself she was like every other nanny as far as I was concerned, and for a time, it was true. Mainly when I wasn’t home or kept myself locked away in my study down in the library or in some other far reach of the house, she had not yet discovered.

But despite how much I worked, I couldn’t completely avoid her. She was at dinner, oftentimes even the one who cooked the meal. She went with us on family outings or spent time with us on weekends when we did things together, be it swimming or watching a movie down in the theater. And even when she wasn’t there in my face, her presence lingered.

The smell of her lingered through the house, whether it be her perfume or simply her shampoo. I’m not sure, but I swear I’d never smelled cherries as often as I do now. Laughter filled the house, and it wasn’t just Addy’s, though hers was often the loudest, but Katherine’s as well, and sometimes even Des and my father’s. Hell, I’d seen more emotions from Nate than I had in years with anyone who wasn’t us four.

And that’s outside of the times I shouldn’t have been keen on her existence. Like last weekend, when my uncle had me keep Addison so that he could take her to one of our other properties. I didn’t need to know why, and I sure as hell didn’t ask, but despite the way I told myself I didn’t want her, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering back to her when I was alone.

It’s not as if my father or Desmond are exactly subtle, and while it might be easier to hide from Addison, who’s only five, I assure you it’s not the same with other adults.

At first, I’d wanted her gone. We hadn’t had a woman here since Natasha, and we’d done just fine. I know our agreement was still an option, but somehow, I never thought they would want to try that again, let alone find someone who was willing and worked for all of them.

Kat changed it all, though. She was, in fact, somehow suitable for each of them, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in her at first as well. Back when she was simply Addison’s teacher, before my uncle set his sights on her, or I realized she had slept with Des and my father last year.

So why is it that when she attempted to leave after the run-in she had with Trevor at the school, I suddenly found that’s not what I wanted at all?

Fuck.

After Natasha, I’d sworn that even if they found someone else, I would stay out of it. She’d come so close to ripping us apart that it wasn’t worth it. No woman was. Besides, I didn’t need a woman to be happy. I had my dream job, and my family was happy and healthy.

I was set… or I thought I was.

Something about Kat calls to you, though. She’s easy to be around, thoughtful, and caring. And as much as I hate to keep comparing them, Natasha was never any of those things, especially not to me.

No, she tolerated me, and that’s the nicest way to phrase it.

Natasha wanted my cousin from the start. She’d been just like every other one of his fangirls, chasing after him with hearts in her eyes. She got herself a job down at the club in hopes of running into them and getting a shot with him, and she’d done it. Not that it’s hard. Before Kat, Desmond was a bit of a whore. He’s always loved the attention he gets at the club, which is why he often spends more time there than the rest of us.

All it took was once, and she was hooked.

Before Natasha, the pool house was just that, a pool house. It wasn’t a place for them to take their sexual adventures, which means there were many days of waking with random women here in all kinds of states of undress.

Thankfully, Addison was still very young, just under a year old. Looking back now, the pool house really was a wonderful idea, one we should have used earlier.

Natasha took full advantage of having free rein of the house, though, and quickly set her sights on more than just Des. When she thought she might be able to get farther, she went from heart eyes to dollar signs, and before long, she had all three of them convinced she could be not only the perfect wife to them all but also a perfect mother to Addison.

She could have won an award for the acting, I swear.

If any of them were around, she was perfect. She changed diapers, played with toys, and handled tantrums with grace while being completely put together. Natasha was like Barbie, never a hair out of place.

But it was a lie. The second she was alone with Addison, she would quickly hand her off to her nanny. If Addison continued to cry or needed attention, Natasha would quickly make her way to the farthest corner of the house to escape her.

It was annoying, but they were happy, and Addison had a nanny to take care of her, so I kept my mouth shut. I’d never taken an interest in her, and she’d never even attempted to talk to me. Hell, I’m not even sure she realized I was a Lawson until after almost a year of her dating them. And it was only because she brought up the question of marriage that she ever really cared to take notice.

I’m not sure if it was the first time she brought it up, but one night at dinner, she decided to push it far past what my uncle seemed to want. She ended up hurting her own feelings because Nathan Lawson never had any plans to marry.

It’s one of the reasons why Addison was born from a surrogate. Desmond’s mom was a woman he had a short relationship with, but that was back when he first started his business, and there was a lot of red tape around his birth that ensured she stayed away. I’m not sure if it was true or something he just told us, but growing up, we were always told she was a drug addict. A one-night stand gone wrong, and nine months later, there was a baby with a note on Uncle Nate’s doorstep. As far as I know, Desmond’s mom never came back, and if she did, I never heard about it.

Desmond was the one with the bright idea for her to be with all of us, and then maybe one day we could see about marriage. Then she would be our woman, the only Lawson woman.

It was something both Nathan and my father often worried about. Someday, splitting the company for Desmond and I. Desmond claimed that was the perfect solution, and I’m sure it sounded like it. The only problem is that Natasha didn’t want me, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t want her. I’d seen the type of person she was. She’d made no attempt to hide it from me, because why would she?

It worked for about a month. When the guys were around, Natasha was all over me the same way she was with them. She would choose me some days over them, coming to sit with me when we watched a movie or spending the night in my room. What they didn’t see is that she didn’t want to touch me, to the point that she had me sleep on the ground when she stayed in my room and took the bed.

I’m not sure why I let her get away with it for so long. Maybe I’d hoped one day she would warm up to me and we could have what she did with the others. Or maybe I just didn’t want to disappoint them and destroy what they had, but after a few months, I couldn’t take it anymore. I heard Nathan talking to Vince about considering marrying her, and I had to tell him about how terrible she was. Vince being there was helpful. I know he hated her. They never ever got along, and he often accused her of being a money-chasing whore.

Something I agreed with, and they do as well now.

Desmond hadn’t talked to me for a long time after Nathan exposed everything I said and kicked Natasha out with a stack of paperwork from our lawyers.

I’m almost positive Kat isn’t like Natasha, and I’d bet money this won’t have the same outcome, but I’d always thought, even before Natasha, I was fine alone. For a while with her, I’d thought I wanted more, but I realized I was wrong. I didn’t need her, and I don’t need Kat…

But maybe, just maybe, I want her, and she might want me too?

Is that such a crazy thought?

With Natasha and any other woman who tried to pursue the ‘Lawson men,’ I’d been an afterthought or nothing at all. But Kat sees me, even when I don’t want her to.

I’m not sure I’m ready to do anything about it or even admit it out loud, but for the first time since the agreement was made, I can close my eyes and see Kat in our lives for the foreseeable future. But even more than that, I can see myself with her, us all together with kids and happy, and I’m not sure if it’s more exciting or terrifying.

One thing I do know for sure, though, is that she seems to have a few less-than-desirable people from her past who are threatening to make her run, and I can’t let that happen. I know Vince is going to protect her. That’s not only his job, but I get the feeling he likes her much more than he ever did Natasha. But some things are easier to discover when people leave a trail, and nothing on the internet is ever really gone. Thankfully, tech is what I’m good at.

It takes a little while, about a week. Carter tried really hard to cover his tracks, and I hit more than a few roadblocks, but there’s always a way around them. I’d had to reach out to one of Vince’s guys for help to get into some databases that were a little more well-protected than someone’s private PC, but they were happy to help.

Like legitimately excited.

In the end, it’s Trevor who gives everything away. His call log comes back a bit concerning, and I don’t need to be a genius to know my uncle, and Vince will want to know about this.