Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Francis

As I gaze into Grace's eyes, I know something life-changing and enormous is happening to me. Being able to hear the words she hasn't said tells me so much more, not only about her life but also her. I know she is attracted to me, just by all the shit that was in her head when she was removing my stitches. I'd struggled to concentrate on being calm when all I wanted was to laugh so hard at her fuckin' thoughts.

Whatever this is, it's mind-boggling. I can feel it in every cell of my body. I have no idea why, but I need, no, damn crave this. These feelings are strange to me but I feel good when I'm with her. And so fucking scared too. Yet, at the same time, I can feel my heart beating quickly. These new emotions I'm experiencing are coming to the surface because of her, Grace. Even her name improves my mood by making me want to smile. And Damien is a boy who has more courage than most grown men I know. Plus, knowing we are similar because of our ‘unique powers' makes me want to be around him. I have never told anyone my life story, not all my history. It was a brutal nightmare, but I need to be upfront with Grace, as I want to start this relationship out on the right foot with total honesty.

Gently grabbing her hands, I pull her chair closer to mine. Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I feel her small hand curl around my scarred one. She gives it a squeeze and I look down at her.

"Francis, I'm scared, too. But I feel it. Something is bringing all of us together. Even though a portion of your life scares the hell out of me, the courageous side of me wants to get to know you. I want to know who you really are."

Squeezing her hand, I lean back and take another much-needed breath trying to calm my nerves.

"Grace, you have reason to be afraid. I'm a monster. Literally. No, before you say anything, I am going to share things with you I have told very few people in my life."

I take another minute, shocked that I'm about to tell her about my parents and secrets I've never spoken about before.

"My mother is a direct descendant from Dr. Frankenstein. Yeah, I know, that in itself is scary as hell. To make it even worse, she married a man whose name was Stein—fucking fate or just plain ass crazy. So when I was born, my name was not by mistake. They purposely named me Francis N. Stein, or as they would hysterically laugh, Frankenstein, after said monster. All the torture and scarring on my body was done by them.

"By the time I came into this world, they had tortured and killed two boys, my older brothers. Out of my three sisters, one is living in a mental ward, unable to grasp what she has been through, spending her life medicated to get through her nightmares. Beside myself, all that is left are my twin sisters. The girls suffered atrocities much different than mine.

"As I grew, my parents and their crazy as fuck friends got inventive, using us kids for their experiments, like the implants in my neck to look like bolts. Those hurt like a bitch when the piercer they knew put them in. When I was old enough, I had them removed, but this," I touch my neck, "is the scar tissue that is left behind. And through all our torture and pain, no one paid attention or ever helped us.

"I have never dated or been around children, gonna be honest. People freak me out, Grace, and I am frightened beyond words right now. The guys at the firehouse know less than my brothers at the club. The club found me in a bad way, and my brothers Chains, Fury, and Bad Dog took me under their protection. To this day I have no idea why they did it. When I was old enough, I went through the process of being a prospect, which means you go through fucking hell, literally, for however long the club thinks to prove yourself worthy of being a brother and part of the MC. I cleaned more puke, piss, and cum out of the clubhouse than I ever want to think about. Not to mention the other shit I had to do to prove myself. And I did.

"With that being said, I finally found a place I belonged and could feel safe. Between the firehouse and the club, I finally feel human. Yeah, Grace, human. My entire life I have been told I'm a monster, and when you hear shit like that all the time, it becomes easy to believe it after awhile. Not to mention all the shit I ain't sharing with you right now. Don't want to scare you away, darlin'."

Taking another breath, I glance her way and see she is watching me with glistening eyes. Fuck, I don't want anyone's pity especially not Grace's. Her next words freak the shit out of me; it's like she's the one who can read minds.

"Don't take my tears as me pitying you, Francis. I have seen how cruel people can be. I watch Damien struggle every day with how nasty and mean our world is. His own father tried to kill him. My heart cries for the child you never were allowed to be. And that you had to split yourself in half to come to some form of belonging...that breaks my heart, Francis."

"Grace, promise never pity me. I don't want it or fuckin' need it. I do want to be very honest and upfront with ya. I won't ever be able to give up the firefighting or the motorcycle club. They are both a part of me—no, that isn't right—they are me. Not saying that the club does everything right, ‘cause they don't. I recognize it, but they fulfill a part of my soul.

"Just so you know I'm a nomad, which means that even though I am a member, I'm not tied down like the other guys. I come and go as much as I want. I do the mandatory rides and charities, and I have some special skills , so when they need them they call. Brick, my prez, makes sure this works for me. To me they are good guys who don't want to follow the rules that society calls laws. They follow their own code. That's why they choose the one-percent life. These guys would do anything for me, and actually have.

"Need to be up front and honest with you, ‘cause I can tell you are deathly afraid of my club because of what happened with Wrecker. No, don't say anything, because I know the Satan's Flaming Marauders MC and their goddamn evil—no fuckin' moral compass—even though you only shared with me a bit of what you went through. They don't treat women well, even ol' ladies, so believe me, I have an idea what you have been through. And it isn't over .

"But if we pursue this and it becomes something like, say, down the road you being my ol' lady, my brothers and the club would die for you and Damien. That is how we work. That is our code of honor. I wanna see where this goes. Your boy opened something in my broken heart and I can't close it back up. You are so damn...I don't even know the word...breathtaking to look at. And so fuckin' smart. For Christ's sake, you're a nurse practitioner, while I'm only a fireman and a member of an MC. You deserve so much better, Grace. I know that but can't seem to walk away from you for Christ's sake. So, what do ya say, darlin', with everything that is against us, do you wanna see where this goes, Grace? It isn't going to be easy, just sayin', with our schedules and responsibilities, not to mention the most important factor: Damien.

"But for the first time in my life, I'm ready to see where this can go. My demons keep telling me to run the fuck from you, but my heart tells me to take the time to get to know both you and Damien. I'm willing to take the chance, are you, darlin'?"

Holding her hands, I look into her beautiful hazel eyes. Eyes that not only touch my soul, but allow me to see the world through her eyes. She gives me hope. Grace is a shining star in my dark sky.

She takes a breath, and another, as I am freaking the fuck out by all the thoughts in her head. Then, before she says a word, I know her answer. Smiling at her, I patiently wait.

"Francis, would you like to maybe grab a bite to eat sometime? Both Damien and I want to get to know you too. Let's take this slow, though. I have to think about my son first and foremost. And thank you for including him as one of the most important factors as he definitely is. I won't allow him to be hurt if it's in my power to prevent it. So we can spend some time together and see where it takes us. That okay?"

The look on her face gives me pause. She is worried I don't want to take it slow. God, she is in for a surprise. I have never been with a woman like her, or should I say, a woman outside of the club, like the sweet butts, which are the only women I've ever been with. I nod and continue to smile her way. She returns it with one of her gorgeous smiles. I feel the warmth of that smile deep down in my scarred soul. She shocks me further as she leans in, giving me a sweet kiss on my cheek.

Her aura envelops me in a surprising and calming feeling.

A new feeling I haven't felt before in my life. Ever.