Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Grace

After I update my staff that I'm going to the cafeteria with Francis, we head down. I grab a coffee while he picks up a turkey sandwich, large salad, potato salad, soup, a huge piece of cake, and finally a coffee. I'm not sure how he can eat like that and still maintain the muscle mass he sports. Francis must work out like crazy to maintain that much bulk.

We find a table and I take my time to try and get my thoughts together; Francis doesn't rush me. I watch as he eats his food kind of delicately; yeah, sounds crazy even to me. For a guy his size, with such huge hands, you'd expect him to eat like a bear, but he is clean and quiet while he eats.

His eyes catch mine here and there. He gives me a small smile with no pressure from him, though. He gives me the impression we have all day. His patience helps me find the exact words my nerves are trying to hold back. It's been a while since I've had the attention of any man, certainly not one as unique and kind like Francis. Not to mention someone I am attracted to.

"Okay, well, guess you want to know how I met Wrecker and he became a part of my life. I want you to know, Francis, I didn't grow up in a bad family and I wasn't abused or anything like that. As a young woman, I wanted to experience life to the fullest.

"I met Wrecker while a bunch of my girlfriends and I were out having our weekly girls' night out. We would meet at different places, mainly bars that had ladies' nights, and we would just hang out and catch up on each other's lives while drinking and dancing, you know, having fun. It was our time together to let our hair down.

"On this particular evening, this group of bikers walked into the bar and approached us immediately. After a couple of drinks, they invited us back to their clubhouse for a ‘party,' and being young and na?ve, not to mention slightly under the influence of margaritas, I never thought of the consequences. You know the story: inexperienced young women being approached by the typical bad boys—no, men—and real badass bikers to top it. Well, turned out to be a very heinous decision on our parts to say the least.

"That night, Wrecker tried to come across as a nice guy when we arrived at their clubhouse. When we were alone later, Wrecker appeared to be into me, attentive, fun and even kind of impressed me ‘cause he didn't push too far, if you know what I mean. But he turned into a massive dick whenever he was with his friends, no, that isn't what he called them. His brothers, that's it. When his brothers were around him, he was a huge jerk, a total asshole. I had hoped that eventually the side of him I thought I saw, everyone else would too, so stupidly I kept seeing him, against my better judgment and gut feeling. Yeah, na?ve, I know. For him, it was a game. The age-old cat and mouse chase some men love to play and win over the wide-eyed good girl.

"Even my parents warned me that they had major concerns about him. They didn't know why but my dad said he got a bad feeling whenever I would bring Wrecker around them. Anyway, long story short, we were together probably about six months when I found out I was pregnant. It shocked me to the core, as I made sure we always used protection. Found out from the doctor my antibiotics I was on for a sinus infection could have affected the birth control. Anyhow I debated about taking care of it, you know what I mean, right. An abortion.

"This came to my mind because by this time I knew Wrecker and his brothers were not nice people. It had only been a few weeks before when one of his ‘ brothers' forced himself on one of my girlfriends. Wrecker said it didn't matter as she was ‘dating' him, then the night in question decided she didn't want to date anymore. The brother didn't see it her way and it became a he said, she said. It supposedly happened at her apartment. She pressed charges and expected me to testify. I explained to her I had no knowledge of said ‘crime' and she proceeded to tell me to just make shit up. Then to top it off, Wrecker told me to drop the raging bitch; she was crazy. He somehow knew she phoned and that we met.

"He was such a controlling son of a bitch and knew everything I did, when I did it, and how. Francis, I was so scared by then that I didn't make a statement and my so-called friends dumped me, calling me biker trash. Didn't stop Wrecker from being pissed, and even being pregnant didn't stop him from putting his hands on me and pushing me around."

Hearing him growl, I look up to see anger radiating off of him. His gray eyes are flashing and his entire body is strung tight with his rage. I put my hand on his and squeeze lightly.

"I know, but let me finish. He never actually hit me when I was pregnant, just pushed or grabbed me when he wanted to make his point. But yeah, the longer we were together, before I got pregnant, he had no problem giving me a crack or two whenever. But I felt trapped, Francis, and too embarrassed to tell anyone. Not even my parents, who if they had known, would have moved me out immediately without any judgment.

"Anyhow, when Damien was born I instantly fell totally in love with my little guy. Wrecker was the exact opposite. He disliked our baby immediately, and Damien didn't seem to like him either. Every time Wrecker even attempted to get close, the baby would cry, vomit on him, or become irritable.

"One time I remember Wrecker offered to change the baby's diaper but forgot to cover him up. Not sure you know, but if you don't cover a boy's privates generally they will pee. Damien did just that, he peed all over the front of his father. It felt like our baby didn't want Wrecker by him. It was extremely strange, like little Damien perceived what his father was truly like. Wrecker never hid his growing hatred for his own kid. I tried so hard to make it work.

"I was considered his ol' lady, hated it every time I wore the leather vest thingy stating, ‘Property of Wrecker.' This wasn't my choice; he threw it at me one evening and said, ‘Wear it when you go anywhere.' I hadn't had the time or courage to have the tattoo before I was pregnant, and wouldn't during, so I wasn't inked and that pissed him off. I'm so thankful now looking back that I never did it.

"When Damien was just about a year old, I ran out to the grocery store, leaving Wrecker to watch our boy. I wasn't gone that long, but when I pulled down our street; it was covered in fire trucks and cops.

"Losing my mind, I saw the little bungalow we rented on fire. I stopped the car, jumped out, and ran down the block until a cop saw and stopped me. I was screaming, ‘My baby, my baby boy!' Finally, getting closer to the house, with the cop, I was able to tell the firefighters my baby and his father were in the house. Just as they went in, I heard the sound of bikes and turned. My eyes bugged out of my head when I saw Wrecker and a bunch of his brothers riding down the block.

"When Wrecker got closer, I tried to see if a car was following with Damien, but no car, just bikes. He got off the bike and came up to me, and I asked him where Damien was. He just shrugged his shoulders, looked around, then back down at me and said, ‘Had to go to the club for a bit, kid was sleeping. I'm back, ain't I? All that little shit does is eat, shit, cry, and sleep anyway. What the fuck happened to the house?'

"Turning when I heard someone screaming for a paramedic, I saw a firefighter carrying out a bundle of blankets that were smoking. All I could think was please don't let that be my baby. Not my little Damien. I was screaming, ‘NO,' over and over and Wrecker just stood there, doing absolutely nothing. No expression on his face at all. I ran toward the ambulance and there was Damien. He wasn't breathing and part of his body was horribly burned. I couldn't believe my eyes. Hysterically, I jumped in the ambulance and started praying.

"We ended up at the children's hospital burn unit, and Damien was there for over four months. In that time, no one not Wrecker nor his club showed their faces. When I was told it was arson, I knew immediately in my heart Wrecker tried to murder our son, Damien. Detectives told me a flammable chemical was found in the baby's crib. I told the police everything and Wrecker was later arrested and booked on multiple charges, including child endangerment and attempted murder of his own child. This led to them finding out he was a prime suspect in a couple of murders, and when they checked his DNA to those crimes; he was done.

"When Damien was finally able to leave the hospital, we went back to my parents, who helped us while I enrolled into college and worked toward my degree. I'm telling you this because that MC won't leave me alone. Just because Wrecker is in jail, they still consider me his property. I'm realizing I'm totally screwed."

Taking a breath, I notice Francis is staring at me. As we continue to look into each other's eyes, I can feel something happening: warmth that starts deep inside of me, working its way out. I have no idea what it is, but it feels so good I don't want it to go away. Nor do I want Francis to go away. For the first time in my life, I truly want—no need—someone in my life; a man, a partner to help with the burdens life throws at me every day. I want a good man who makes me feel special and one who will be there for Damien and me.

I want him...I want Francis. Why him? Do I want a man, one like Francis, who splits his time between being a fireman and part of an MC club? That is the most important question.

I don't have the answer. Not yet anyway.