16. Playing to Win

CHAPTER 16

PLAYING TO WIN

BIG D

Our weekend in San Antonio was every bit as romantic as I'd planned. Plenty of sex peppered with some serious conversations. By the time I left Texas, we'd made arrangements to see each other again soon. Nothing would make me happier, except maybe forgetting Whittaker exists in the first place. That would make my day.

I agreed to go along with her plan, because the money is important to her. Still not sure it's the best route of action or if the amount of money in her trust fund is worth all the aggravation, though.

The thirteen hundred miles between Kallie in Texas and me in L.A. instigates an entirely new level of insecurities I don't know I have in me. I trust her, but not him, and being such a long distance from her keeps my mind living in constant worry.

Is he trying to win her over with false charm from nine to five? Or what if he's plotting how to hurt her after work? I can't stand to think of finding bruises on her arms, like I did with Zoe. What if he takes away the one good thing in my life, my cowgirl?

I started upping the number of times I contact her each day, as if she's busy talking with me, then that makes less time for him to intrude on her life. My voice becomes more and more desperate to my ears as we talk; can't imagine how she perceives it.

To make matters worse, there's a PR emergency they are both having to work overtime to contain. One of the Austin team members has been accused of assault in a bar brawl, and it broke all over the news. They have all kinds of fires to put out and things to do.

Before my game tonight, we'd texted. She told me she was eating Chinese takeout with Jeremy in the office. Then I find out they are there alone together, strategizing their media interventions to get ahead of this fiasco.

That doesn't sit well with me and I start an argument with her out of frustration. Only I don't have time since Duke orders the team out onto the ice for warmups, so the worries follow me there. By the time the game starts, I'm so preoccupied with thoughts of him and her together, I cannot get into the zone. I miss the simple puck passes, fail to assist or score, and I lag as if my legs are heavy like cement. Duke eventually benches me for the entire third period.

"What the fuck is going on with you lately? Come see me in my office after the game," Duke yells, tossing a towels at my head as I take a seat on the bench. I don't move until the game is over. The Puckers lost, and I take it on as my personal responsibility for letting my teammates down.

My relationship with Kallie is beginning to take its toll on me.

I take the ass whooping Duke doles out as he stands behind his desk, hands on the top of it spread wide, yelling. He finally takes a breath. "Let me ask you this, D. Do you want to play professionally again?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"Then get your head out of your ass. You're playing not to lose, D. That's a surefire way to lose it all," he says, in a voice that distinctly reminds me of my father's.

Upon further introspection, he's right. I'm playing like shit. I had wanted this year to be great, had hoped this could be my breakthrough year. But I've been playing without that edge that a winner plays with.

More than that. I'm playing like I'll lose the woman that I'm falling for to another man. And that's a not a good way to go down.

Duke ends his tirade, then sits behind his desk, lacing his fingers on it. "Now, let me remove my coach's hat and put on my friend's hat, because we were friends and teammates before I was promoted to coach. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

So I do, giving him all the details and the entire story between Kallie and me, because he's the one guy I know I can trust. When I near the end, I state out loud my deepest desire.

"I wish I could get traded to play in Texas. That way I'd be closer to her, to protect her, to be there as needed."

Duke drops his head to his hands, then plows them through his hair. The coach's hat returns."I'm already waiting to hear if I'm going to lose Storm to the Vipers. Now you want out of here, too? How is the team going to win the cup this year if I don't have you guys playing?"

"Sorry, coach. I want the team to do well, too." I hang my head, because I'd miss the guys. Beau, Tucker, Storm, Saint. We're like brothers in arms, seeing each other through so much over the past couple of years.

"Yeah, sure. But you want your pretty rodeo queen, too. I get it." He twiddles his thumbs in the center of the desk as if debating in his head. "I've met Mr. Campbell from Austin a few times over the years. Cannot say that I've been impressed with him at all. There's someone else we know who can't stand him—Brad. I don't know the full story there, but I do know he avoids Texas like the plague."

Super agent Brad is our go-to guy, whom many of us turn to when we have troubles. And with Duke's encouragement, we call him right then and there. I share the entire ordeal, and hope he can instigate a trade for me.

"Fucking Texas. It has to be Texas?" He asks.

"Yep. Anywhere. Semi-pro or pro. Whatever team you can get me on. I need to be within reach of Kallie Campbell."

"Fucking Campbell. Can't stand her dad. And Whittaker? He's the worst. I repped him for a year early in his career. He outed me and my partner at the time, and it wasn't cool. What I do in my personal life is mine. Over the years, he's made no effort to hide his disdain for me, telling other players about me. If there's anything I can do to help you and Kallie, you let me know."

"Just get me into Texas, someway, somehow," I beg, Brad's story sounding all too familiar like my own. Whittaker is nothing but an overgrown bully. He needs this cowboy to put him in his place because I can't stand bullies.

"You got it. I'll see what strings I can pull, favors I can call in. I'll get back to you as soon as I have news," Brad confirms and clicks off the line.

As I leave Duke's office, he slaps me on the back. "If everything works out, I'm glad you'll be happy, buddy. Guess this means I should take another look at the rookie videos the scout sent me, though, since I'll need to replace you and Storm soon. God, I hate rookies."

I laugh with him, somewhat a welcome relief, as we lean against the doorway of his office and trade funny stories about some rookies we knew in the past. Then I turn serious. "If I'd have had you as a mentor in my first year in the league, Duke, my career would have taken a whole different turn. Whoever ends up coming to the team, they're lucky to have you as a coach."

He nods, his chin a little wobbly. "Thanks. That means a lot. Of course, this doesn't let you off the hook. I expect you at hockey conditioning camp this summer on my ranch, helping to kick these rookie asses into shape."

"Don't worry, nothing I love better than giving rookies a welcome to the league party." I wink and leave. On the way home, I call Kallie. I don't tell her yet about the possibility of a transfer, but I'm feeling hopeful again.

From this point forward, I'll play to win, in hockey and with my heart, and somehow figure out a way for Kallie and me to get out of this mess and be together.