9. Mine, Only Mine

CHAPTER 9

Mine, Only Mine

Dominic

The apartment was dead quiet when we walked in. I flicked on the lights on the upper of the two floors, giving the place some desperately needed warmth. It was mostly bare and done in minimal design, lacking all the character of Harringford Manor and matching the way I felt about the city and its people. Normally, it wouldn’t jump out at me like this, but tonight, it felt empty and desolate. It felt like it was lacking so much, and I couldn’t help but consider it my fault.

Zain and I walked over to the lounge that offered a brilliant view of the city’s glimmering lights. I poured myself a drink and then offered Zain a Coke. He took it and sat down while I walked over to the fireplace and turned it on. The heating system worked, but the fire gave the room an extra touch of coziness, especially when paired with the smoky flavors of my drink.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” I asked.

Zain looked at me with a mix of gratitude and fascination. “I thought that was obvious.”

“Just making sure,” I explained.

He sipped his Coke. “It’s so beautiful up here.” His big, brown eyes were wide as he gazed out at the sprawling Central Park and the towering buildings on both sides. “The best view money can buy.”

I smiled to myself, looking at the rim of my glass.

“I’m sure you’d say you prefer the quiet forest,” Zain said.

It dragged a laugh out of me. “I do.”

“Away from the society,” he went on.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Depends on the society.”

He cocked his head. “Really? How did we get there?”

I couldn’t tame the corners of my lips. They kept moving up. “I’m not entirely sure, but it’s possible that not everyone is the same.”

Zain chuckled sweetly. “It’s possible?”

I played into it, shrugging. “I’ll have to commission a study on it, but I suspect not everyone is an asshole.”

“I can’t believe my ears,” Zain said elatedly. “Dominic Blackthorne, the great lover of humanity.”

I snorted and downed my whiskey. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I just think…” I considered what I wanted to say, and Zain waited patiently. “I don’t think your friends are such a bad bunch.”

Zain lit up and looked down; his ears perked, and his smile was contained. He got up and neared the large glass wall to look at the city below. “It was wonderful tonight.”

I said nothing. I let him have his moment.

“You dance well,” he said.

My heart glimmered with some strange emotion. The sensation spread to my stomach, fluttering and heating up. He was only a couple of feet away from me, so when he turned to face me, we were very close.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“You don’t need to thank me,” I said, setting my glass on the mantelpiece above the fireplace.

“I know this isn’t your kind of entertainment,” he said. “But you put on a brave face.”

“I didn’t need to put on any face,” I assured him. “You made it easy.”

He smiled and took a step toward me, lifting his head earnestly and looking at me. Was he hopeful? I couldn’t tell what that expression was. Suddenly, the night flashed before my eyes. His sweat-slicked face, his damp hair, and the warmth of his heated body against mine.

I had to fight against all my instincts in order to stay where I was. My body longed to move an inch closer to him, but the moment when everything had been possible was gone, stuck in time back in Neon Nights.

Zain licked his lips, still looking up at me. “I’d like…”

“It’s late,” I said. “Maybe we should get some sleep while we can.”

Zain closed his lips and stepped back, looking away from me as his face glowed with the heat of blood rushing into his cheeks. He closed his teeth around his lower lip and forced a smile. “Of course.” He nodded, turned away, and hesitated. “Where is my room?”

I walked over, avoiding getting too close so as not to send the wrong message. The desperation that opened up in my chest was like a black hole, sucking in everything, including every glimmer of light.

Zain followed me through the broad hallway, then left into a narrower one. Two doors faced one another, and I leaned against mine, aware of the suspended expectations and disappointed hopes filling the narrow space between us. I pointed at the door, and Zain thanked me, hesitating a moment longer as I slowly opened my own door, slipped inside, and made myself close it.

His room was slightly smaller than mine, but it was just as well equipped, with a spacious bathroom, a sitting area, and a large bed. Mine felt empty despite all the necessary amenities. I turned on the lamp on the nightstand and walked over to the armchair near the window, facing the east side. The night was deep and dark, still so far from sunrise, but sleep was hopelessly gone from me.

I sat in the shadow, looking at the distant light of the lamp on the far end of my bedroom, and wondered where I should be. And who? Had I not had enough of my self-imposed exile from the rest of the world? Or were these just foolish notions filling my head after a night of not running into disappointments?

Yeah. Only causing them , I thought, but it was false. If I disappointed Zain when I stopped us from doing something he would regret, I disappointed myself just as much. The only difference was that I wouldn’t have regretted it. My body was starved for touches, for embraces, for the wild and reckless passion we could search for, and I wouldn’t have considered it a mistake. I had trained myself to adjust my expectations and not go wild with daydreams and fantasies. But Zain…

He was a virgin. He was twenty-two. By right, he shouldn’t give himself to someone like me.

I had to push down the longing for what he was so tempted to offer in order to protect him. It took so much effort to accept this that I was drained. I had no will left in me, only enough to stop myself from marching into his room right now.

It must have been another hour before I showered the stench of clubbing and circled the bed. Just then, the knock on my door made me freeze on the spot.

Zain

I couldn’t sleep like this.

I couldn’t get it out of my head, my chest, my abdomen. This dizzying feeling that had accompanied me since the first moment he touched the small of my back buzzed through me even now.

And when Dominic opened the door of his bedroom, wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs, my heart leaped. Fear, excitement, and nervousness mixed in my bloodstream, and I looked at him with my bravest face. It was hard to keep it on, but I had to. I had already risked it all by knocking long after he’d sent me to my room. Part of me felt like a coward, not letting me rest until I tried again, but another part had hoped Dominic would be fast asleep and deaf to my visit.

But there he was, eyes wide and chest rising and falling with each breath. He stood in the doorway, neither moving aside nor closing the door in my face. He stood still, quiet, as dawning surrender came over his face. He waited.

I licked my lips and searched for courage. There were no great reserves of it that revealed themselves when I needed them the most. There was nothing but this moment, and the two of us looked at each other with a mix of longing and wariness.

“I want to come in,” I said.

The resistance crumbled away, and Dominic stepped aside, holding the door for me.

I had been sure, in hindsight, that he would shake his head and tell me never to do this again. But I remembered. I remembered so clearly the feel of his hard cock brushing against my leg. I’d made it happen in a moment of feeling brave, spending the last of my bravado back in Neon Nights.

“Zain,” he whispered reluctantly, and I prepared myself to be turned away.

The door slowly closed behind my back.

Dominic dropped his gaze down my body. I had showered before bed, then tossed and turned restlessly for what had felt like an eternity before resolving I wouldn’t just stare at the ceiling and wait for something to happen. Then, I did all that was necessary, just like I’d read about it, and paced my room until I fooled myself that I had the strength to try this.

“Zain, this is…”

“Don’t talk,” I whispered pleadingly. “Don’t let words get in the way of it.”

He snapped his mouth shut and gazed at me. That look, right there, couldn’t have been anything but the thing I needed the most. It couldn’t be mistaken for another. He wanted it. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, and whatever idea was holding him back was nothing more than that—an idea. His voice was pitched lower now, but I found it much more respectful and less condescending. “Are you sure?”

“Don’t question it,” I said, breathing in against the pressure that squeezed my chest tight.

There was only one more moment of utter silence and hesitation. It was like he waited for some invisible wall between us to fall. And when it did, Dominic’s piercing blue gaze struck me directly into my eyes, and he made the single step that closed the distance between us.

Suddenly, my back was pressed against the tall, dark wooden door of his bedroom, and his torso pinned me in place. The weight of his body leaned on me, trapping me in that irresistible, devastating spot I never wanted to leave.

When I lifted my head defiantly, Dominic descended on me. His lips found mine, and the minty freshness of his breath surprised me when I expected the whiskey smokiness. The kiss, my first, was a fierce and incredible thing. It felt like standing on the highest skyscraper in the city—perhaps this very building—with no guardrails and no protection, leaning over the edge, letting yourself be pulled by gravity, and discovering you had wings. It was a danger that met beauty. It was the impossible, manifesting itself as real and attainable.

His beard and mustache seared my soft and tender skin, inviting me to push myself to the tips of my toes and press my lips against his. Harder, hungrier, faster. I kissed him, although I couldn’t have been very good at it, and let the pain of impact melt into warmth. White-hot lust filled my body as I kissed him again, breathing out against his lips, pulling back, and opening my eyes to look at him.

A wary expression came to my face, and I couldn’t smooth it out. Was this the moment? Would he stop me now?

“No words,” he whispered, recalling my request, turning it over in his mind, and deciding to obey it. He leaned down again, kissing me softly, his hand touching the back of my head.

Some wonderful god or the universe itself had made these two fit so well that it left me in awe. His hand on the back of my head felt as though it had been sculpted for that particular purpose. It was like the atoms had boiled in the singularity, and the entire creation burst to life with this as its single goal—this touch, this moment, this exact instant in the eternity of time.

When a sob broke out of me, I didn’t know if I was crying or laughing or something else entirely. So much was locked up in a dusty old box under a clutter of self-made distractions. So much yearning and so many desires broke the locks and escaped into the light of day. They were here, between us, and they led my body when my mind couldn’t find itself.

My hands reached for Dominic’s sculpted biceps, now bare for me to touch, to feel, to remember. The heat of his flesh wrapped around me, held me like it wanted to welcome me and tell me it was alright.

When he leaned against me a little harder, another sound dragged from my throat, but it wasn’t a sob dripping with conflicting emotions. It was a moan, naked and shameless, and it made Dominic shudder all over.

I moved my hands over, feeling his broad, round shoulders and moving lower to touch his torso. The sudden freedom to explore his body put me in the mind of a sailor embarking on an exciting and promising journey into the unknown, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity that needed to be satisfied.

Tension strained his muscles. His skin, slightly damp from a recent shower, was hot and tight over the hills and valleys of his body. When my hands reached the small of his back, Dominic thrust his hips forward, and I felt the unmistakable bulge in his underwear pressing against my lower abdomen.

The frustration with layers of clothes still separating us was so sudden that it felt like lightning striking me right into my heart. It made me tense, and Dominic immediately pulled away.

I’d ruined it. I’d pushed him away somehow.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

I caught my breath, my chest rising and falling as quickly as Dominic’s. “Kiss me again,” I said.

He stepped toward me, putting his hands on my hips, and closed his eyes reluctantly. When he opened them, the look he gave me was clear and sharp. “You have to tell me when to stop.”

“Don’t stop,” I said.

“Zain, you have to,” he insisted. “Promise me you will. If it becomes too much.”

I’d imagined that talking, even a little, would ruin the spell of it all. Like at the club, when the music had been too loud to let us speak and only our bodies could communicate, everything had been so much simpler. When you couldn’t express complicated thoughts, all you had left were your basic desires. My body could tell him what I wanted, what I needed, without confusion and ethics and age differences.

But this…

This was not what I’d thought it would be. It didn’t ruin anything. In fact, his need to make me feel safe only made me want him more.

“I promise,” I said, knowing it wasn’t empty.

Dominic kissed me urgently then. He hungered for it just the same as me, and he kissed me like his life depended on doing it right.

Fearing I’d hurt him with my teeth, I surrendered to him. I let him do what he knew how to do well, and I wasn’t disappointed. His kisses softened as if he savored me whenever he sucked my lower lip shallowly into his mouth or bit me gently to tease something in an entirely different part of my body. How he touched my neck and made my toes tingle was a mystery to me, but he did.

Instead of rushing in to kiss him back and do it badly, I let my hands wander over his torso. I explored him all the way to his hips, feeling the fabric of his underwear under my fingertips once I was there, and I pulled him closer. Desperately, I wanted my T-shirt off so that I could feel his skin on mine.

Dominic must have felt this need in me—or in himself, I hoped—because he reached down and took the edge of my T-shirt in his hands, sliding it slowly up my lean torso and pressing my body with his. It was shockingly hot, his chiseled stomach on my flat one, and I swallowed a moan while lifting my arms above my head. He pulled my T-shirt off and tossed it on the floor, then reached for the button on my pants. His fingers were nimble, and he undid it quickly; all the while, he kissed me and let me practically hang from around his neck, my arms closed tightly around his neck and shoulders. When he pulled my zipper down, I felt myself throb with excitement, and I pressed myself closer against him, sharing his heat.

Dominic’s hands slipped inside my pants, following the fabric of my briefs over my hips and to my butt. He held it, letting my pants slide on their own, and gave my ass a squeeze that flared through the rest of my body.

I cried out with unexpected pleasure, my voice lost in Dominic’s mouth, and I hurried to kiss him again.

Shifting my weight from one leg to the other, I rubbed my thighs together and inched my pants lower down my legs. And when I thrust my hips forward, my hard cock pressed unapologetically against his. The difference in our sizes was immediately clear to me, but it had never crossed my mind how it might make me feel. It was a silly feeling, really, because I had no interest in doing anything that would leave him wanting like that. Besides, I couldn’t imagine Dominic in that role, either.

He derailed my train of thought with another firm squeeze that pressed my cheeks together, then pulled them apart. He grunted, a sound coming from his throat, and kissed me so blissfully well that I lost my balance.

“Wait,” I said, and he was quick to pull away from me. The slightly concerned expression on his face—it existed next to the heated look of a man lost in the current of desire—smoothed out when he was sure nothing bad had happened. I only needed to pull my pants off, or else I’d die.

When they were off, abandoned on the floor, Dominic let his gaze slide slowly all over me.

It wasn’t the kind of scrutiny that made me feel like I lacked any features. He looked at me with a clearly pleased expression on his face, simply getting to know the shape of me, and his gaze lingered on my crotch.

I looked down, instantly embarrassed to find that my pale pastel blue briefs carried a fresh, dark stain where the tip of my cock stretched the fabric thin.

Dominic stepped closer, putting a hand gently on my cock, and ran his thumb firmly over the stain of my precum. He looked into my eyes as he did that, the corners of his lips lifting up fractionally, and he brought his damp thumb to his mouth. When he licked it, I lost myself in the moment completely.

“I want you so bad,” I whispered hurriedly, kissing him again.

“I’m here,” he said in a moment when our mouths pulled away. “I’m here.”

My lips parted, and he leaned into me, his hot tongue slipping into my mouth and meeting mine, tip against the tip. The sensation, unlike anything I had ever felt before, made my heart pound arrhythmically, and I allowed myself to try kissing him that way, too. He let me. His lips welcomed me, his tongue giving me no resistance as our kiss grew wetter and freer.

I wanted so much so quickly that my brain spun. I wanted to lower myself to my knees. I wanted him to throw me on his bed. I wanted us to roll on the floor in the lounge, heated by the flames in the fireplace and uncaring about the hard surface of the wooden floor.

But Dominic buried his face in the crook of my neck, and I forgot all about my fantasies. Instead of dreaming up scenarios, I let myself enjoy the best thing of all. He kissed my neck, then lowered himself to my chest until his lips were around my nipples. It provoked a high-pitched gasp from me that made him smirk, and he dropped to his knees instead of making me kneel for him. His hot lips dragged down the middle of my torso, his beard searing me wherever it brushed against my skin.

When Dominic’s lips reached the edge of my briefs, his fingers pulled the waistband down and let my underwear slide down my legs. He didn’t seem to notice or care that my six or so inches were hardly comparable to his impressive length, and he had no idea how badly I burned with desire to see him. Instead, he licked his lips as he looked at my stiff cock standing up like a spear, the tip of it slick with precum I couldn’t stop.

Dominic opened his mouth, exhaling his hot breath as he leaned closer in, and I abruptly put a hand on his brow to hold him off, the itch and throbbing desire filling my cock and balls. Nervously, I said, “I don’t think I’ll last a minute.”

Dominic took my hand off his brow and turned it around so he could kiss my palm. Then, he looked at me with those same wolfish eyes I’d noticed the first time we’d met, but they held no cruelty in them now. Oh, no. They were the eyes of a man who could give me the world of pleasure. In a husky voice, he purred, “I’ll make sure you do.”

I didn’t know how he planned to do that, but I didn’t need to wonder.

His lips closed around the tip of my cock, sealing tightly as he sucked the air out of his mouth and embraced me in the wet, warm softness of his mouth. Leaning in, he took me half the way down, bobbed his head back, and grabbed my hips in his strong hands before taking me in deeper. The sensation was so incredible that I rose to the tips of my toes in a sudden need to act on some undefined impulse. Air hitched in my throat, strangling me as I ran my hands through Dominic’s hair, curling my fingers and holding on to him more roughly than I needed to. My upper back pressed against the door, rubbing the surface, and I was eerily aware of the smooth hardness of the wood as much as I was aware of the silky softness of Dominic’s blond locks in my hands.

The utter silence of the room, the stilled moans and held-back sighs, was cut by the occasional wet sound of Dominic’s mouth sliding up and down my hard length. The sound, something that was neither a squelch nor a smack, seemed to me louder than it had any right to be, and it dominated my ears while the faint scents of musk and sex drifted into my nostrils, mixing with the aromas of lavender, pines, and the year’s first snow. It was such a powerful cocktail of sensory inputs, snapping inside my brain at the moment of pure ecstasy, that I knew that each scent and sound I registered tonight would forever bring me back to this room and this moment in my life.

Dominic’s hands moved firmly to my ass, kneading the thick flesh of my cheeks with skilled hands that knew no mercy. The pressure, so sweet and devastating, made me grunt while I held my breath. If I exhaled, I would shatter; I knew it. I wouldn’t be able to keep myself together against the constant battering of my body, with the pleasures that threatened to rip me into pieces and scatter me through the air. The temptation was such that I almost wished to let go.

True to his word and far more experienced, Dominic slowed down at the very instant when my dick pulsed with the eagerness to reach the premature crescendo. In some wild way, I was fascinated with the ruinous feeling of longing for the ending that set in when it was denied to me. I knew I wanted this to last, but to be pushed so close to the edge, only for the ending to be removed just enough that I could see it and feel it but not get to it, was revolutionary.

My hands moved from his head to his shoulders, nails scratching his smooth skin, and Dominic sped up his rhythm, bringing me excruciatingly close to the climax, only to steal it away from me again. A moan, pained and sorry, drained out of me, and Dominic looked up.

Incredibly, the fact that he was on his knees and sucking my cock didn’t make him any smaller or weaker but larger and more incredible. Here was a man who was so strong and confident that he could kneel for a guy like me and still be the dominant force in this room.

I had never understood the references to the submissiveness of those who would suck a cock, gay men or straight women alike, but I had always assumed it was something that became clear to you once you’ve done it. Now, I was starting to suspect it was nothing more than an idea of some hilariously inept men.

It was an act of selflessness and caring. How could it ever diminish you? If anything, it made me more desperate to switch our positions and do the same to him.

The thought crossed my mind, and my dick jerked quickly and violently, almost spilling my cum far too soon.

Dominic pulled his head back, licking his wet lips and smirking slightly when his wolfish eyes met mine. “That was a close one,” he said.

I shuddered. “It felt incredible.”

With his hands still on my ass, Dominic leaned it and pressed his extended tongue against the base of my cock, then dragged it slowly to the tip, licking off his saliva and my precum with a satisfied sigh. “You’re fucking delicious,” he purred.

“Let me suck you,” I said hurriedly, unable to contain this flash of desire.

Dominic stood up, put a hand on the side of my face, and brought his lips close to mine. I could smell myself on his breath. The realization made my face burn, and I opened my mouth to accept his wet, naughty kiss. Those were the flavors of my body that dripped onto my tongue and sank into my taste buds. The idea was so powerful that it stopped my breathing.

Finding my hand, Dominic led me to the bed and lay on his back. His cock was a dark, thick mound in his black underwear, and its silhouette made my heart stumble. He was at least twice as long as me and thicker by a great deal, but if something worried me, I left those concerns for later.

Now, just for a moment or two, I wanted to fly. I climbed into his bed, kneeling and crawling higher until I could lean down and suck his dark nipple, and then I stopped. I savored the fact that my lips around his nipple covered his flesh with goose bumps.

I kissed him, licked him, and breathed all over him as my heart beat faster and my body heated up. The lingering expectation that I would do something stupid, something laughable, was leaving me, and I understood that it wasn’t an act that could be wrong, only the person you were with. And Dominic was not at all the cold, detached, judgmental man I had thought he was. Dominic was a generous lover beneath the hard exterior, and he accepted all that I was willing to give.

My fingers found the waistband of his underwear, and I pulled it down clumsily, catching his cock in the tangle of fabric. It made him hiss and bite his teeth, his abs tensing madly, and I tried again, mindful of how hard he was.

When I pulled his underwear down, his dick stood stiff a few inches above his abdomen, short hair covering the skin around it and fading into a happy trail that disappeared at his belly button.

I wrapped my fingers around his girth and stroked him slowly, proudly thinking to myself that I, at least, had plenty of experience with that. Even so, it was odd to do it to someone else, and the knowledge that I was holding him in my hand was enough to awaken a fire in my groin that begged my hand to play with my cock as well.

I resisted. Instead of touching myself, I pressed my left palm against the bed, feeling the smooth fabric of Dominic’s dark linens, and I used my right to make him feel good. Judging by the sighs and gasps, I was doing a fair job.

When I leaned down, observing his muscular abdomen and the impressive size of his cock, Dominic whispered, “Softly. Slowly.”

I nodded and inhaled the scent of him, creating another memory that would burn itself deep into my brain, into my very soul, and live with me for the rest of my days.

My lips parted, and I felt him under the tip of my tongue. He was softer and smoother than I’d expected, although I couldn’t tell why I’d thought it wouldn’t be exactly like this. My expectations were wiped clear from my memory as the reality slowly set in.

“Relax,” Dominic said, and I realized I was holding him in a tight grip of my right hand, lowering my head down the upper half of his cock.

I loosened my fist quickly, glancing up and meeting his gaze.

His eyes widened. “Look at me like that,” he said softly, but his tone carried a command that removed so much of my fears of failing him. He knew that I needed to be told what to do.

I lowered myself more, feeling him under my tongue until the tip of his cock pressed against the roof of my mouth. It made him wince, the corners of his lips lifting in a half-smile of fascination. He held my gaze, and I couldn’t help but wonder what I looked to him in that instant, my wide eyes on him and his dick halfway in my mouth. Did I look like someone he would be proud of having? Like someone he would remember? I pushed that thought aside and bobbed my head lower, feeling my throat constrict abruptly at the first contact.

“Easy,” he whispered carefully. “Do it slowly. Get used to it.”

From that moment on, I did. I slowed down, working his tip with my mouth and tongue. I let myself feel the rim of the head of his cock, to feel the slip at the tip of it, and cup his balls in my hand. My breaths were quick, air traveling in and out of my lungs through my nose, the flow getting cut often when I took him deeper into my mouth.

Dominic tucked his hands under his head and watched me suck him, never breaking the contact between our eyes. He grunted and huffed, throbbed in my mouth, and tensed his abs. His lips formed an impressed little O, and he lifted his hips lightly off the mattress, sliding himself deeper into me.

I held down a sudden need to cough, tears shooting into my eyes. He was barely toying with my throat, yet I couldn’t take much more of him.

“Perfect,” he whispered, swinging his hips slowly and smoothly up and down while I held my mouth open for him. “That’s so fucking perfect.”

I wasn’t sure if he was just encouraging me or if it really felt that good, but I knew I adored every instant of it. I wanted him like this, flat on his back and naked and deep inside my mouth. I wanted him to love this and to want this again and again.

And when the tears that inexplicably welled in my eyes blurred my vision, I pulled back, heaving a deep breath of air into my burning lungs. When had I stopped breathing? I couldn’t remember. All I knew was that the unique flavor of him was still on my tongue, and I never wanted to mask it with another.

“I want you,” I whispered, then decided I was braver than that. “I want you to fuck me.”

Dominic sat up and slammed his mouth against mine, kissing me and sucking my tongue into his mouth for a long time before shifting us around and laying me down on my back. “Turn around,” he said once I was flat on the bed.

And I did, not sure what was going to happen next.

“We’re going to do this slowly,” Dominic promised.

I pulled a pillow under my head and hugged it with both arms. Towering above me, Dominic lowered himself against my body, his front fitting perfectly on my back, and I felt his cock nestle between my cheeks.

My body thrummed with excitement. This was really happening. I felt him there with all his size. I felt the wetness of my saliva still on him and the heat of his breath as he brought his lips to the back of my neck. And then, he kissed me. He kissed me again and again, leaving a trail of kisses down my spine, inching lower and lower until his hands closed on my butt and pulled my cheeks apart.

If I had thought of this in detail, I never would have expected him to do this, but Dominic didn’t stop kissing me on the small of my back. His lips moved lower, trailing the middle between my cheeks until their heat touched my hole. It was so sensitive and unaccustomed to this that the contact made me clench my muscles. I pushed down the cry of surprise and pleasure that brimmed in me and threatened to spill uninvited. But Dominic was slow and careful, kissing me where I had never thought I would be kissed and licking me with all his gentleness.

I exhaled in a shudder. My restraints fell off, and all my preconceived notions of sex and dominance and submissiveness shattered. Dominic’s tongue worked me slowly, his hot breath sending waves of tingles rising along my back.

When the feelings grew so overpowering, I buried my face in the soft pillow and let out the cry that had been building up. It was a deep moan, rising as the constant sensation of Dominic’s hot, wet tongue rimming me intensified. I moaned and gasped for air and held the pillow tighter in my arms. Dominic, his face buried between my cheeks, moved his hands to my hips and yanked me higher, making me knees with my ass perched up for him like a delicious treat he meant to devour.

He licked me slowly and intensely, never stopping, and I soon learned how to relax and let myself enjoy it without worries. I couldn’t tell you what worried me most of the time, only that when the anxiety faded away, all that remained was glittering joy.

I could feel how wet I was. I could feel the wetness moving lower along my taint and balls. Even then, Dominic continued his passionate act. And when he pulled a little back, hands massaging my butt, I could feel the vibration of his voice in my entire body. “I’m going to push a finger inside of you,” he said softly, running a circle around my hole with his finger. “To get you used to it.”

I nodded, then managed a choked little sound of assent.

His finger was thin and long, I knew, but the pressure was such that all of me closed up instantly when he pressed it against my hole.

He didn’t push it in. Instead, he rubbed me gently and told me to relax.

I thought it was just something you said. That was how far my brain was burned with this searing lust. It took me an actual moment to realize that I could, in fact, relax and that it would make it so much easier for him to insert his finger freely.

When I did, he must have sensed it because the pressure increased again, and I exhaled roughly at the exact moment when his finger slipped into my body, marking some unexpected point in my life. After crossing it, I felt like I could do anything. I felt like the secrets of the universe, of joys and highs and ecstasies of sex, were no longer so secret. I was in on it. I also knew what it was like, just like everyone else.

My eyes rolled back, and I lifted my head to let the moans run away from me freely. The finger moved in and out with excruciating care, and Dominic’s tongue still worked the upper side of my hole while he probed me.

“Fuck,” I whimpered, barely holding myself together. My dick throbbed every once in a while, especially when Dominic reached around my left hip and took it in his hand. He didn’t stroke. He held me while he slid his index finger back and forth, stretching me for his cock. “Fuck, it feels so good,” I cried.

“You’re doing so well,” he told me. “You’re perfect.”

I hardly would have believed him had I had any sense left in me, but the moment was so wonderful that I accepted it as a fact. I was perfect. This was perfect.

“I’m going to put another finger in you, baby,” he said, making something click in me. That word. Wasn’t that word used for showing affection? Wasn’t it a word one spoke with sweetness and care and devotion?

My body opened to him. Perhaps not literally, but spiritually and emotionally. It surrendered to him so completely that when he pressed his middle finger together with the first, I was willing to endure a moment of sudden pain for the greater pressure.

His hand worked back and forth; his fingers reached deeper into me until they pressed something that made me moan louder. It was a sensation like no other, pushing me to the edge of something incredible. He repeated it after a heartbeat, letting out a soft chuckle full of pleasure. “There you are,” he said, although I had a feeling he wasn’t talking to me. Funny. But I felt strongly about it anyway. It was just that he kept doing something so madly good that I was no longer able to keep it all straight in my head.

His force increased with his pace as he stretched me wider and slicked me with his spit, touching this spot that sent waves upon waves of happiness into the deepest corners of my soul and furthest cells in my body.

“Dominic,” I cried. “Please…please…need you…”

If I made no sense to him, he didn’t show it. He understood my pleas and twisted his hand firmly, making sure I was slick and loose for him before he pulled his fingers out of me.

I huffed and breathed shallowly, lying down flat on the bed, while Dominic reached over to the nightstand and produced his supplies. I vaguely realized he was putting on a condom and then pouring a lubricant all over his fingers. He stroked himself, and I looked over my shoulder to remind myself just how big he really was.

Instead of positioning himself above me, Dominic poured more of his lubricant over his fingers and slipped his fingers inside of me again. They moved so smoothly in and out of me that my eyes rolled back in delicious pleasure. It made me feel slutty in all the best ways, a notion I had never considered before. I’m nice and loose for you , I thought. I’m wet and warm and precisely what your dick needs .

When Dominic pulled his fingers around, he put his other hand near my hand to give his torso support and held himself firmly as he navigated the tip of his cock into my hole. In the moment since pulling his fingers out, my body clenched and tightened with anticipation, and I tried to relax for him. The tip of his cock, slick with lube, massaged me softly, and Dominic slowly applied more and more pressure. “Relax, baby,” he purred huskily, making the command so easy to obey.

I wiggled my arms free of the pillow and placed my hands on my cheeks, pulling them wide for him, and I forced my muscles to relax at the precise moment when the pressure of his weight grew significantly. The pain, unexpected and swift, made me choke on empty air, and Dominic pulled back, telling me to breathe. His cock, touching me only lightly, pulsed against my hole, and he slowly sank into me again. And again, the pain made me grunt and wiggle away from him.

Panic filled me as abruptly as the pain had spread from my hole. What if I just couldn’t do it? What if I was just made in a way that it wouldn’t work?

Dominic must have sensed some of my worry. He kissed the back of my neck and whispered, “Easy, baby. Take it easy. I’m big, and you’re a virgin. It takes a minute.”

A minute? It felt to me like I had been failing him for an eternity. But I nodded and accepted his words. “Try again.”

He didn’t do it immediately. Instead, he rubbed himself against my hole slowly, feeling me relax before adding a little bit of extra pressure.

The same sort of pain, as if my body rejected the very idea of moving along with this, spread hotly from my hole.

“Stay like that,” Dominic whispered soothingly. “Just like that.”

I did. The tip of his length was in me, but barely, and I let the pain fade away. It only took a fraction of a second, the hot and brilliant discomfort melting into pure and simple warmth. Dominic pushed himself a little deeper, careful not to hurt me, but I knew we were past that.

Nothing hurt anymore.

Even the memory of the pain was fading into obscurity.

Dominic’s other hand landed on the other side of my head, his hips taking over the work, and he sank into me with such caring gentleness that I would have given him anything he asked of me in that instant.

Our bodies united in a symphony of pleasure as he entered deeper into me. Even now, I could feel myself stretching to embrace him, struggling to contain him, but the stupendous joy of having him in me was far more powerful than anything else I felt.

It was hardly just the physical act that did this to me. It was the merging of bodies and souls, the joining of two into one, that made me gasp for air and lift my arms up to hold on to his biceps. The sensation that we had not just taken our clothes off but all the prejudice and shame we had been taught to wear, that we had shed off the self-consciousness and propriety, that we had turned away from embarrassment and sheepishness in order to reach for something beautiful—that was why tears filled my eyes and why moans rose from my lips.

Dominic fucked me slowly and passionately, each thrust calculated and aimed to heighten the pleasure for both of us. His cock entered me deeper and deeper still, filling me until I felt like I couldn’t possibly take more of him, only to discover that I could.

His grunts met my whimpers and moans as he filled me, the pace increasing steadily, almost unnoticeably, until he was pounding me and sending cries of joy out of me in ripples and bursts. Sweat covered my brow, beads trickling down my spine, and I knew he was covered in perspiration, too. Where his front met my back, pure fire emerged.

Dominic wrapped one arm around my upper chest and shoulders, lifting me off the mattress and pillow, ramming into me with growing urgency.

I wished I had more experience so I could do something to please him more. I wished I knew how to tackle him down and ride him until he lost his mind, but I didn’t. And I was happy to be able to lie still for him and have him in me.

I could tell that he was holding back because it was my first time, but I also knew, from the way he breathed and the way his muscles worked against my back, that he was enjoying having me.

I held on to the arm that was wrapped around me, my torso arching back, my shoulder blades pressed against his chest, and I let myself lose the last semblance of control. My body, strained and exhausted, couldn’t hold back any longer. Each thrust of his cock sliding into my body made my dick rub against the linens, and the effort it had taken me to keep away from the climax was more than I could do.

“Dominic,” I cried. “Fuck…I’m close.”

“Come, baby,” he huffed, ramming into me harder yet still holding back, making me wonder just how much he had to offer. I was sure he could take me to the moon and back, to heaven and hell, if he only let himself be a little more careless. But even so, he had given me the kind of pleasure I had never dreamed of.

My body glimmered with excitement. Tension grew so high that when the orgasm thundered through me, I cried out freely and loudly, sinking my fingernails into his arm and rubbing myself against the bed in the rhythm of Dominic’s movement.

My dick throbbed violently, and cum spilled into a pool of warmth around the tip of my cock, slicking its length as I rubbed through the small puddle of hot wetness.

Dominic fucked me for a minute longer while tingles descended to my feet and rose to my jaw. They spread to the tips of my fingers, intensifying each time Dominic thrust his cock into me. It was a minute that felt like ages. It was the finest, most wonderful minute of my life. As the embers of my climax still glowed, fanned by Dominic’s careful and deliberate movements, I recognized a pit of longing in me, a regret that I had almost given this up for life; at the same time, I saw with incredible clarity how lucky I had been to wait for Dominic to come into my life and give me this.

With shallow breaths and urgent movements, Dominic pulled his cock out, leaving me empty and needy of him, pulled the condom off with a snap, and stroked himself to the end just over my ass. The hot splatter of cum landed over my back and ass, giving me more joy than I ever would have guessed, and Dominic collapsed on top of me, holding me close and still as we caught our breaths.

“This was…” I whispered, but words failed me. I breathed deeply and lay beneath him, enjoying his weight given to me so freely.

When he rolled over, I missed him, but he kissed me quickly on the lips and told me to wait. He went into his bathroom, and I heard the water run. A few moments later, he reappeared with a wet towel and began to wipe my back and butt. “What a mess I made,” he said with an unmistakable note of pride. His hand was slow and thorough with the towel, wiping me clear before he nudged me to turn over. When he wiped my softening dick and the puddle in the linens, I looked into his eyes.

Had I truly thought of them as cold not that long ago?

Had I not realized what kind of a man could be looking at me from behind them?

We didn’t speak. Exhaustion set in as much as the lack of anything to say. To tell him he had given me something I had never thought to want seemed superfluous. So I said nothing. But when Dominic carried the towel away and returned to the bedroom, he didn’t wait for me to leave. He joined me in his bed, not quite smiling, and put a hand around me.

Sleep finally embraced me, dreamless and deep and restful, and the warmth I felt through the night was the warmth of his naked body pressed against mine.