20. Liam

"Please, Liam?" Cruz hovers over me in bed, kissing along my collarbone. Playing dirty if you ask me, since he's learned how much I love having his mouth there. "I promise you'll have fun, and if you don't, I'll come back with you."

"And miss Christmas with your family? No, you won't." I prop myself up just long enough to kiss his puffy lips, which are still swollen from sucking on my cock this morning. And again thirty minutes ago, since he's determined not to let me out of bed until I give in to his ridiculous request.

It's possible I might be getting too much pleasure out of saying no, but who am I to object to blow jobs as his preferred form of begging?

That's one of the more fascinating discoveries we've made since confessing our mutual crushes nearly a month ago, Cruz loves giving blow jobs. He likes receiving them too, but more than once I've woken up to find his head bobbing between my legs, a blissed-out look on his face.

I keep meaning to return the favor, but he usually wakes before I do. I may have to set an alarm to beat him to it.

So far, Cruz hasn't worked up to anything more, although a few days ago he let me poke around his hole, just teasing the entrance, and if his guttural moans are any indication, he didn't hate it.

Just wait until I introduce him to his prostate.

His calloused fingers glide over my stomach as he kisses my jaw. "I won't let you spend another holiday in a hotel by yourself. Not while you're dating me."

"Are we dating now?" I raise my brows, playfully daring him to expand on the topic we haven't broached since that first kiss.

I don't expect him to answer. It's much too soon for that, and he hasn't had time to fully think through the implications of what having a boyfriend would mean. If he were anyone else, I might not be so understanding, but Cruz is na?ve about sex and relationships on the best of days, and this being his first… He's like a kid with a brand new toy.

Behind closed doors, he's almost in a rush to experience all the things he never took an interest in before. Flirting, kissing, cuddling…he wants it all, and of course I'm happy to oblige since I want those things, too. But outside the walls of our room, he's just my friend, same as before.

I'm not complaining about that. I expected it, and I'm happy to give him the time to figure things out, especially since it's not as simple as being comfortable with his sexuality. The reality is there are real concerns for his potential future in the NFL if he appears to be anything other than straight, and several weeks into his first ‘dating' experience is way too soon to slap a label on that could have a ripple effect on his future.

Will I always feel that way, if this thing between us keeps going? That's also too early to say. Right now, I'm content to keep doing what we're doing, which is getting naked at every opportunity.

Now that Cruz's body has decided it likes mine, and we discovered I thoroughly enjoy being tossed around like a ragdoll, he instigates things just as much as I do, if not more. Pinning me up against walls, throwing me on the bed... Once, he even wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to the shower. My dick has never been happier, and my heart… I'm doing my best to keep that organ in check.

That's hard when Cruz shows his sensitive side just as often as the aggressive one. Sure, there are times when he pounces on me when I walk through the door, yet more often than not, his interest takes a more subtle path. I'll feel him watching me as I do homework, play video games or lounge in bed. And when I give in and meet his gaze, he'll approach me almost shyly. And he'll touch me like I'm the most fragile thing in the world.

Basically, Cruz may have discovered the ability to get aroused, but that's not his natural state, so what we're doing and where we go from here is something I'll let him dictate. For now, I'm just along for the ride, and as long as I keep my heart from getting ahead of itself, I figure there's no harm in indulging in this crush.

I might tease him about our state of limbo from time to time, though, if he brings it up.

"Is that what you want? To date?" Cruz ducks his head to hide the way his cheeks flush bright pink.

"I want you, Cruz. Secretly, publicly, I don't care which, and I don't care what we call it. I just want this." I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him to me for a lingering kiss, loving the way my words make him smile against my lips.

"I want you, too. So, you'll come home with me for Christmas, then?"

Taking the hand he's got splayed over my chest in mine, I link our fingers together and brush my thumb along his. "No. I won't be your charity case."

"Please,Sunshine."

"Pulling out the big guns, huh? You haven't called me that in a while."

"It hasn't made sense to use in a while."

"Why's that?"

"It's supposed to be an ironic nickname." He nuzzles the side of my neck. "And you haven't been frowning nearly as much as you used to. Even Dani says you aren't shooting daggers at everyone anymore."

That's because I can't stop thinking about the giant teddy bear lying next to me. It doesn't seem to matter where I am or what I'm doing, images of Cruz pop into my head with alarming frequency. His glowing smile when I walk in the room, his heated eyes as he takes in my body, his wondrous expression as he finds his release.

"Regular orgasms will do that to a guy." I downplay my apparent happiness.

"They didn't have this effect when you were getting them from Aiden."

"Those were hardly regular."

"Maybe not, but they didn't make you any less grouchy."

"Are you fishing for compliments? Yes, Cruz." I kiss his plump lips. "You make my cock very happy."

"I'm implying I make you happy, not your cock. Although, I'm all for doing it again if you say you'll come home with me."

"Baby." I wince internally since that wasn't supposed to slip out, but given the way it makes Cruz light up, I can't bring myself to fully regret it. "Meeting families is a big deal. Especially just a month into this, not to mention for a guy who isn't out. Don't you think you should have a discussion with your family before bringing me home?"

Cruz flops onto the mattress and stares at the ceiling. "First off, I don't need to discuss who I'm dating with anyone. And second, I have a gay cousin and my family is cool with that, so there won't be any big drama about me having a boyfriend. I—"

"You don't have a boyfriend. Not officially."

I hate how that makes him wince, but he needs to be realistic.

"Come as my roommate, then."

My mouth opens to object—as per usual—though I can't find the words to do so. I just gape at the ceiling, same as him.

Parents, not just mine but in general, are something I make it a point to avoid. It's been years since I had a good experience with them, and while I'm aware that doesn't make them all bad, more often than not, I find that they are. Yet Cruz seems to love his creators unconditionally, and there's no question spending the holiday alone in a hotel room isn't at the top of my list.

But going to his hometown, staying with his family over the biggest holiday of the year… Who does that when they've only been hooking up for a few weeks? As his roommate, though… I suppose that's a more practical solution.

The mattress shifts as Cruz rolls to his side to face me, and I feel—rather than see—the gloating look on his face. "You don't have an objection to that."

"I might. Give me a minute to think of one."

"You've had more than a minute. Admit it, there's no good reason not to come with me as my roommate."

"Parents will be there. You know how I feel about parents." I'm being obstinate, but whether I go as his roommate or not, this is still a big deal, so I don't want to just jump into it.

"I know how you feel about your parents. Mine are loving and attentive and easygoing. Kind of how I picture yours before your sister passed."

"That could be triggering for me."

"More triggering than being alone in a hotel?"

Dammit, he's got me there.

"Where would I sleep?"

"My room."

I turn my head to look at him, mortification written on my face.

"We sleep in the same room anyway, and my bed is plenty big. No one will think twice. Plus, my aunt will be in the guest room."

"What if someone gets suspicious?"

He brushes a lock of hair away from my eyes. "They won't."

"But what if they do?"

"Who cares." His blue eyes are resolute. "It's my family. If anyone is gonna keep my secret it's them."

"That's a big ask, even for family. Are you sure you aren't getting ahead of yourself with this invitation?"

Cruz grazes his lips over mine. "I'm sure I won't be able to enjoy myself if I'm thinking about you being alone in a hotel."

I collect a puff of air in my cheeks before blowing it out in defeat. "Fine. What do I need to bring?"

"Just you." That fucking buoyant smile is gonna be the death of me. "And a twenty-dollar gag gift."

"A gag gift? What kind of weird holiday shit does your family do?"

"You'll see." Cruz licks his lips before pressing them to mine, and since we're both still naked, that ends with the two of us needing a shower.

***

"Stop fidgeting." Cruz nudges me with his elbow as I turn onto his street.

It's quaint, with modest yet well-kept houses lining each side of the road, and kitschy decorations adorning the trees and bushes in front of at least half of them. I'm used to large homes with elegant light displays, and while those are pretty in their own way, I like the goofiness of what's common here. I mean, there's a pair of boots sticking out of the chimney of one home and a giant leg lamp in the window of another. It's kind of surreal, and while I like it, it makes me realize just how out-of-place I am.

"I'll cope however necessary." I can"t stop my fingers from drumming on the steering wheel, restless with nerves. "The last time I celebrated Christmas, Liz was six and we just found out about the cancer. We had this big over-the-top tree and tons of presents and the big dinner. My mom kept going on about how important families are during the holidays, and now I'm crashing yours. Why did you tell them I'm coming again?"

The truth isn't something I'm comfortable with people knowing. I can't explain it since I don't fully understand it myself, but I think some part of me doesn't want other people to have a bad impression of my parents, and by association, me.

"I told them there was a family emergency and your parents had to go out of town." He gestures to a driveway, and I manage to pull in and get the car in park before my pulse skyrockets.

"And what do I say if they get suspicious or nosey and ask what happened?"

"They won't, that'd be rude. They'll just say they hope everything is okay and leave it at that. You won't have to elaborate unless you want to."

"Thank fuck for that, considering the emergency doesn't exist. Now I'm crashing your holiday and lying about it. Awesome." I cross my arms in front of my chest with a huff.

"You aren't crashing anything, Sunshine. In my house everyone present is family."

"Nicknames are gonna give us away."

"Not ironic ones. Maybe refrain from calling me baby though." He winks at me. Winks. "Now turn the car off and come with me."

Reluctantly doing as he says, I shut down the engine and grab my bag—and present—and follow him to the front door.

It creaks slightly as it opens, a blast of savory air beckoning us inside. Roast, I think. I have just enough time to note the burgundy runner on the wood floors and beige walls with a chaotic mix of picture frames before Cruz announces, "We're here." We don't even get our coats off before we're swarmed.

"Cruz!" He dips down so a petite blonde woman can throw her arms around him.

"How was the drive, son?" An older but virtually identical version of Cruz asks.

"Did you bring jerky? Not that shit from the grocery but the good stuff from the roadside stand?" A slightly stooped gray-haired man says, wincing when a similarly shaped woman smacks his chest with the back of her hand and says, "Let the boys get in the door."

Cruz pulls away from whom I assume is his mother, and gestures to me. "Guys, this is my roommate, Liam. Liam, this is Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and…" He peeks around his grandparents. "Aunt Cheryl must be in the kitchen. Cousin Tommy, too, I'm guessing."

I can only imagine how awkward my smile must look considering it's not my natural expression, and my secret boyfriend introduced me to his family as if I'm supposed to call them Mom and Dad, too. If anyone else thought that was weird, they don't show it, they just carry on like I'm some long lost relative.

"We're so glad you could make it." Cruz's mom swallows me in a hug, or tries to, seeing as she's at least a foot shorter, forcing Cruz to help steady me so I don't topple over.

"Nice to have you, son." Cruz's dad shakes my hand when his wife lets me stand up, then I have to crouch again to hug his grandma, who gives me an affectionate pat on the cheek when she releases me.

There's a lot of huggers in this house.

"Get your bags put away so we can eat. Go on." Grandpa shoos us out of the foyer as everyone else heads farther into the house.

Cruz grabs his bag and turns to the stairs, so I do the same. "Sorry about Grandpa," he says as we climb. "He gets hangry. He'll be more personable once he's got some food in him."

"I didn't mind."

"Grouches stick together, huh?" He smiles at me over his shoulder before pushing into a room at the end of the hall.

"More like if you get to be his age you've earned the right to be hangry." I step inside Cruz's room, biting back a laugh as I take in the many, many football posters.

He catches me taking a tour and gives a timid shrug. "In case it wasn't clear already, I'm kind of obsessed with the game."

"That's one explanation."

"You have an alternate one?"

I step in front of him and put my palm on his solid chest, tilting my head slightly so I can peer right into those gorgeous blue eyes. "Well, since your walls are decorated with some very fine asses, I'd say maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise that you skew gay ACE."

"Asses? These are…" Cruz's eyes dart wildly around the room. "These are athletes. In uniform."

"Says you. I see a bunch of sexy asses, and if this is what you fell asleep to every night growing up, it's no wonder you want a piece of mine now."

"You think I've always had a thing for guys and confused that with being asexual?" His expression says he's skeptical, but the hand kneading my ass says I'm not too far off the mark.

"No. I think you gravitated toward a man's ass over a woman's, but only the perfect ass would catch your attention. I think you've just been waiting for the right one to show up."

He gives me another firm squeeze. "And you think that's yours, huh?"

"You tell me. You're the one holding it, does it feel right?"

Cruz's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, which is all the answer I need.

His eyes flare as I rise up to touch my lips to his, though what starts as affectionate quickly turns desperate as his tongue plunges into my mouth.

It's only been a few hours since our last kiss, but it feels like days, and neither of us seem willing to hold back. Chest rumbling under my hand, Cruz groans softly as he spears into my mouth. The faint stubble on his jaw scrapes over the smooth skin of mine as we try to erase the space between us, licking and sucking and... stopping cold when Grandpa hollers at us to hurry up.

Taking a half-step back, I press my fingers to my cheeks as if I could feel the beard burn. "How bad is it?"

"Move your hands."

I let them fall to my side so Cruz can inspect me. "Go splash water on your face and rub it dry with the towel. It'll buff out."

"This is gonna be a long few days," I mutter to myself as I turn around, biting back a yelp when Cruz smacks my ass as I walk out the door.