3. Phaedra

PHAEDRA

O nce Asher shifted and ran off, I sat down next to the base of the once-great Holo statue. I felt disconnected from my body, from my surroundings. My thoughts came to me as if they were the voice of another person—someone who was speaking from a point that was far, far away.

The ruins of the Holo statue surrounded me. Not even an hour ago, it was my extra source of income. Now, it was nothing more than scrap metal. With shaking hands, I counted the coins on the ground and held them in my hand. It wasn't enough. I needed at least two hundred more to pay off my loyalty contract. I ought to be crying. Now the statue was gone, my time frame for getting off this island would be extended. Indefinitely.

When I was part of high-wolf society, two hundred dollars wouldn't have put a dent in my weekly allowance. I ought to have been sobbing until my voice was hoarse and my throat raw. With what I earned as a maid, I'd be lucky if I got off Isle Royale in six years. I was already pinching pennies where I could. And what about making my way on the mainland? I'd hoped to save at least a little bit so I could find somewhere to stay while I looked for work. Not to mention how I was going to afford a ticket for the ferry.

The ferry left for the mainland at midnight on Wednesday and Friday evenings. The wolf packs there had moved off Isle Royale because they lost their faith in the gods or wanted more territory to develop bigger packs. I imagined that some of them must have been alone or enjoying the city life with humans, and my plan was to get in contact with one of them to see if they could point me in the right direction or give me some advice.

Now I'd have to work twice as hard to make up the money… if I could find another family that would take me on.

While those thoughts swirled in my foggy brain, my heart raced. I should have been sitting in a puddle of tears, but even as I held the little money I'd made tonight, I couldn't forget that something wonderful had happened—something I'd thought was impossible.

I'd shifted! I had my wolf! Sure, I didn't have the Holo statue anymore, but I'd learned that I wasn't human after all, that I was just as much a wolf as anyone else on the island.

" You're a shiftless disgrace, not even worth ten dollars. " That was what Mrs. Rider had said to me that morning. Well, the second presence in my mind now proved otherwise, didn't it? Having this knowledge was so euphoric, I couldn't be upset about the way things had changed.

"Phaedra!" Eleanor's voice made me jump. She had reappeared from wherever she'd gone. In her arms, she held a small jar filled with a green paste. She must have been moving quickly because her wings were beating so frantically, they were little more than a shimmering, aquamarine blur. "I thought he'd never leave. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," I replied slowly. "He bit me." I moved his shirt, revealing the blood on my shoulder.

El gasped. "Goddess, that looks deep. I went away to grab some medical stuff while you two were talking." She landed near me and set down the jar that I was certain held some salve. "Help me tear some strips from the shirt he gave you. It looks clean enough. I've also brought some water."

"Thanks, El," I said. "And thanks for trying to help me back there."

"A fat lot of good that did," she grumbled, tears welling in her eyes. "He could've killed you, and I couldn't do anything."

"Hey, don't say that. He's an alpha. There are only a handful of people on this island who could've held him off." I gave her a small smile as I ripped the shirt. "I thought you were pretty brave for trying to distract him like you did. The bravest pix I've ever known."

"Yeah, well." She sniffled; her cheeks slightly pink. "I wish I could've done more. What did he talk to you about, anyway?"

While she started patching me up, I said, "He said he couldn't kill me because we're fated mates." It sounded strange to say out loud. Me? A fated mate? But I knew he wasn't lying.

"He said that?" She seemed as incredulous as I'd felt when he'd first said it. "You believe him?"

"I didn't want to believe him, but look." I showed her the crimson mark on my wrist.

She whistled low, fluttering closer to get a better look. "That's ancient magic."

"That's what I thought." I looked at the intricate, swirling design that made up the circle. All of this felt surreal, but seeing the mark kept me grounded.

"Did I see you shift?" she asked as she tied a strip of Asher's shirt over the wound. She'd bandaged me up very neatly. "You poor thing. It looked so painful."

"Probably the worst pain in my life," I said. At the time, I'd felt like I was being turned me inside out, but I could file that away in my mind like an old nightmare. Now all I felt was a lingering, tingling sensation just beneath my skin, the knowledge that there was another presence in my mind, an ache in my shoulder where I'd been bitten… and something else. A kind of faint tugging in my lower stomach.

"Do you know anything about this mark?" I asked. "Like, how to get rid of it?"

Pix didn't live long, but they were more in touch with the island's lore and with magic. Eleanor was probably my best option for knowing how to get rid of bonds like this. I didn't believe in gods, but when these sorts of marks just showed up on me out of the blue and a bite made me shift for the first time, I had to acknowledge that there were things at work here I didn't understand.

El shook her head, and disappointment thrummed in my veins. "I don't have a clue, but I can try asking around," she said. "In the meantime, you just rest up, okay? I'll let you know as soon as I find something."

"Thanks, El. You're a lifesaver."

I added the few coins I'd made to my money pile in the dirt, then El cloaked me again so I could return to my den without anyone seeing I was naked. As I ran home, it started to rain, and I was drenched by the time I reached my den.

The rain was coming down so hard, it seeped through the leaves of the tree under which I'd hung my work clothes. Fortunately, they were only a little damp.

I took them inside, then toweled off. The minute I was dry, exhaustion washed over me. I went to my bed and was asleep within seconds of closing my eyes.

When I woke up the next morning, news about the Holo statue had spread through Den City. The town was divided in opinion about what had happened to it. Half of them believed a wayward lightning strike had left the statue in ruins. The other half whispered that it was a sign the gods were displeased with Connor's ascension, but they didn't dare speak too loudly because that kind of talk was treasonous. Connor was petty enough to have anyone killed if his men reported such talk to him.

I preferred to keep my former chosen mate off my mind, but there was no avoiding thoughts of him with all the gossip. Well, it didn't matter. No matter what the people of Den City believed, everyone was certain the goddess wouldn't be able to offer counsel anymore. And they were right. There was no way I could continue my gig, and even if there was enough of the statue intact to somehow pull it off, everyone was so spooked by the ruins that they were staying away.

The reality of my situation finally hit me. Yes, my wolf was with me, but my future was in question. I wasn't a human now, and I had a mark binding me to a stranger, and very few options to make more money. What was worse, that tugging feeling in my stomach had grown more intense. I felt heavier, more sluggish, and it seemed to worsen by the hour.

I took some pain medication before and after work on Tuesday, but it didn't help. Whatever was causing this strange feeling was deep inside me where the pills couldn't reach.

That was enough of an annoyance on its own, but having a wolf presented its own set of challenges I was unprepared for. She was moody, to put it lightly. She loved to bark or growl when she was upset or excited, and she tried to influence my decisions.

While I was in the middle market to pick up something for one of my employers, people kept bumping into me. Usually, they ignored me unless they had to speak to me, but for some reason, it kept happening. As much as it annoyed me, it really pissed off my wolf. She wanted to burst out of my skin and snap at them for the disrespect.

That same night, after my shift, a couple of minks found their way into my den and gotten into my drawers. My wolf nearly went ballistic. I got the minks out of my den, but even after they were gone, their musky scent lingered. I had to open the door to air things out before she calmed down.

I learned quickly that she was very territorial, and everything and everyone was unwelcome on our territory, whether it was a mink, a squirrel, or someone walking overhead, it didn't matter. She was vehemently distrustful of any unknown scents. The sharpness of her reactions reminded me of how things were when I'd just been kicked out of high-wolf society. I was paranoid and scared of my own shadow, believing every person who saw me wanted to kill me. I'd overcome that paranoia, but my wolf brought it back. It was like the impulses I'd always felt had suddenly gained a personality and will of their own.

She wanted to even the score when we were slighted, but I couldn't let her do whatever she wanted. I couldn't let her be seen. Although, if I did expose her to the others, I might be more accepted, and I'd be able to give in to my wolf's desires a bit more. The potential benefits were tempting.

But, no. The reason I was valued so much in high-wolf society was for what I could offer the Salcedos—especially Connor. From a young age, I'd been groomed to be a good mate to Connor. I'd poured over books about history and theory on wolf culture all so I could offer counsel to him. The minute I fell short of their expectations, though, they'd cast me out. Why would I put myself in that position again?

Now I had my wolf, it would get back to high-wolf society eventually. I didn't want to go back to that. How could I smile in the faces of people who had turned their backs on me? All it would take was another mistake for them to turn on me again.

My wolf, despite her quirks, was precious to me, and the people of Den City didn't deserve to know anything about me or my beautiful wolf. She was mine and mine alone, just as I was hers, and I wouldn't use her as a way to bolster my ranking in the Wilcox pack. I was getting along fine on my own.

When I couldn't detect the scent of mink anymore, I closed the door and made myself a cup of chamomile tea. I took the steeping cup into my bedroom and arranged the pillows so I could sit up and try to relax. But when I closed my eyes, all I saw were the ruins of Holo.

With a sigh, I opened my eyes again and stared at the brick wall across from me. In white chalk, I'd written down the goals I had for myself the night I moved into this den:

Find work to support myself.

Save money to pay off my loyalty contract.

Save enough to buy a ticket for the ferry and a place to stay on the mainland.

START OVER .

The last words were capitalized and underlined. It was the most important thing on the list. My dream. Reading over the words for the thousandth time, I thought about the mainland. I felt sure I would be able to enjoy real freedom there, and I wouldn't have to refuse my wolf's desires all the time. I could change my name or dye my hair. Hell, I might even be able to join a new pack. Maybe I'd even fall in love.

I closed my eyes again and sipped my tea. That was just my wishful thinking taking over again. For now, the mainland was still a dream. I needed to be practical. Having a wolf of my own didn't change anything. When I finished my tea, I took a bath, then went back to the wall. I found the chalk I'd written with and adjusted the numbers. Under the first step, I squeezed in a new second step: Get rid of the mark .

I wiped the chalk from my fingers and went to bed. Asher had said we would talk about the mark another time, but if I had any luck left to me, I'd get rid of the mark without having to see him ever again.