Chapter 3

Chapter Three Scar

The stares haven’t gotten any easier. I wind my arms around my waist as I make my way to class. My wounds, now scars, still ache with the phantom pain of my memories, as if they haven’t healed in the slightest. Each stare and whisper feels like another cut against my delicate skin as they intensify with each step I take down the hall.

A feeling burns the side of my face. I tense as I turn to catch an ice-blue gaze locked on me. Fear flashes through me before a heavy sense of dejection. The moment of fear forgotten as I take in Charles’ tall and slender form as he turns away from me the second our eyes meet. Turning his back on me.

Again.

I’ve never felt so utterly lost and alone.

Those blue eyes have haunted me for years in my dreams. I’ve woken up screaming as they chase me even into my waking moments. The first one to draw blood from me that night. The first one to violate me and take satisfaction in every ounce of my pain. The very one who admitted just how long he had been craving my flesh under his. His control asserted over me.

Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew who it was. Knew I had lost Charles even before I had actually lost him. How could I not? How have I never put the pieces together to realize it was Charles’ father? The man that I was never comfortable around despite growing up around him.

The only thing left to do is decide how to proceed. Is Ryder right? How can I be sure? How much has Charles changed in the last eight years? Once upon a time he was my best friend, my closest ally. His betrayal is partially what made it so easy to keep everyone at a distance when I left. He never laid a finger on me, but he didn’t stop his friends from trying.

The first time, Kade saved me as Charles watched.

The second time, I just barely saved myself, Charles was nowhere to be seen. I barely made it to Luca’s after getting away from them. Barely survived. Yet again. It was the moment I knew I had to leave everything behind.

The shattered pieces I left behind are finally coming together. Giving me a clear picture of my past, but muddling the waters of what I thought I knew. Of what I thought came next.

I could kill Charles for recognizing me. Cut off one more tie to the girl who I used to be. Who remembers me as Charlotte. From a past version of myself that I no longer know. No longer have any desire to know. Not the way he sees me.

But why kill him when I can use him?

He may very well be the key to my revenge plans. Give me access to everything I need. His father. All the knowledge I need to carry out my plans may reside behind his closed eyes, clueless to the real reason why I attended that gala tonight.

He can’t possibly imagine the hell I plan on bringing to his doorstep. How badly I crave his father’s blood on my hands, his life at my mercy. He had the power to help me all those years ago and chose not to, the difference is now I can make him. If I choose to.

Ryder presses his lips to the top of my head. “Get some sleep. You might have a clearer answer after talking to him.”

I nod, rubbing my nose against him. He’s right. How can I know what the right call is when I really have no idea who I’m dealing with? Charles may have grown up to be as twisted and corrupt as his father. I won’t deny the piece of me hoping that isn’t true, but I won’t verbalize it either.

“You’re just hoping I’ll wake up bloodthirsty and decide to kill him.”

His body rumbles with his laughter, shaking me and making me smile wider.

“Absofuckinglutely. And I’m hoping you let me do it too.”

Oh how the tables have turned. It wasn’t even that long ago that I was comforting Ryder through forgiveness and offering to kill his dad for him. I’d be lying if I said I ever thought we would really get to this point.

“Sleep, Scar. I got you. It’s going to be okay.”

I know he does. They all do. And I know it will be.

Despite the odds, I drift off to sleep.

* * *

My eyes feel heavier with every flutter of my lashes. I can barely keep them open as pain ratchets through my body. I squeeze them shut in response to one of them yanking my head off the floor by fisting my dirty blonde hair and pulling me towards him.

Fear like nothing I’ve ever known courses through my body. Something wet and hot slides up the side of my cheek, tracing a pathway to my ear. He’s licking up my blood and tears, drinking in my pain, relishing in my demise. My fear is a wild animal locked inside my body, thrashing and fighting to get out to run away. But we’re trapped. Unable to move.

I fight to open my eyes. To look into the eyes of the perpetrator of my destruction. My lashes flutter, but fuck. They’re so heavy. Everything hurts so much. I’m drowning in a sea of agony and despair. I don’t think I’ll be able to escape it.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this,” he whispers in my ear and I gasp.

I know that voice.

My eyes fly open as searing, blinding pain rips through my core. He groans above me and I get one startling moment of clarity as I stare deep into ice blue eyes before darkness starts to overtake me.

I know those eyes.

My heart pounds in my chest as the pain starts to fade away. The black around my vision starts to clear, leaving only the fear behind. My eyes open easily to find Charles laughing at my side, pulling my hand in his as we run across the grass field that leads to the creek behind his house.

It’s our favorite place to play, even if our parents hate when we do.

The fear is forgotten as giggles burst freely from my lips as Charles continues to drag me after him. When did he get so much taller than me? My little legs can’t keep up with the larger steps he’s able to take and I stumble. Charles stops immediately, trying to catch me, but my knees hit the ground and tears spring to my eyes.

“Charlotte!” he cries. “Are you okay?” He falls to my side and peers at my scraped knees. He swallows thickly. “I’m sorry, Tootsie Roll. I didn’t mean to.”

I grab his hand and squeeze, gaining a small smile from him. “Here, hop on. I’ll give you a piggyback ride to find Ms. Nancy. She always makes ouchies better.”

My tears dry, almost forgotten as Charles carries me on his back towards the house. Except, it isn’t Ms. Nancy we find first. Charles’ father watches us with a weird look in his eye that I don’t understand. I pat Charles’ shoulder to get his attention but his father is already walking towards us.

“What happened here?” His voice doesn’t sound angry, but Charles still tenses.

“Charlotte fell and hurt her knees. Ms. Nancy was going to put bandaids on her.” His answer confuses me because we haven’t seen his nanny yet, but I don’t say anything.

His father turns behind him to a man I didn’t notice before. “Find Nancy and have her meet the children in the kitchen.” The man nods and retreats as Mr. Donahue continues to watch us. He clicks his tongue as his eyes land on my bloody knees. I flinch at the sound, it’s the same one my dad makes when he’s unhappy with something I’ve done. He doesn’t say anything more before walking away. Charles holds still for a moment before he squeezes my legs. “Come on, Tootsie.”

A few minutes later, we’re both sitting in the kitchen as Ms. Nancy fusses over my knees. She’s so nice. They barely even hurt anymore. Plus she gave us both cookies.

Mr. Donahue comes in and again Charles stiffens at my side. I also get nervous, maybe I’m getting in trouble after all. He ignores both his son and the nanny and walks right up to me.

“You okay now, Charlotte?” I nod gingerly, not saying anything back. Charles’ father has always scared me just a little bit, even though he’s always nice to me. I think Charles is a little bit scared of him too. Ms. Nancy moves away from us to get out of his way and starts cleaning up. His hands land on my legs and lift them so he can examine the butterfly bandaids on my knees. “You have to be more careful,” he chastises, his voice gentle. Much softer than how my father talks to me. His fingers stroke the skin next to my cuts. “We don’t want this pretty skin to be marred, do we?”

I don’t know what that means, but I shake my head anyway. I don’t want him to be mad at me. He leans away from me and turns around. That same man from earlier comes up from behind him. Mr. Donahue takes whatever he hands him, but I can’t see what it is. Though, I already have a feeling I know.

He turns around and hands me a small bouquet of daisies. Just like every other time I see him.

“Thank you, Mr. Donahue,” I whisper. I’ll get in trouble if I don’t mind my manners. Even if I don’t understand why he always gives me the same flowers.

He laughs, cupping my chin, forcing me to meet his blue eyes. So similar to Charles’ but so different too. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. We’re family, my little daisy.”

I dip my head to agree and his thumb rubs against my cheek. “Good girl. Now, Gregory is going to take you home. Charles and I need to have a talk.”

I blink and their kitchen fades around me as smoke fills the air. Heat rushes through me and I open my mouth to scream but no sounds come out. He’s still there, still watching me with those icy blue eyes, a growing grin spreading across his face. I look down to find the bouquet still in my hands but somehow, it’s caught fire.

I jump back and try to drop it but the flames chase me.

“I’ve been waiting for you, my little daisy.”

Hushed voices breakthrough my dreams of smoke and pain.

“Just let her sleep,” someone whisper-shouts from behind me. Probably not the best way to ensure I stay asleep. The thought makes me smile, even as I struggle to shake off the hands of the demons from my dreams. Determined to drag me back down into the abyss of my mind where only pain and agony await me.

“What do you guys think we should do with him?” someone else whispers from the foot of the bed. If I could just force my eyes open, I could figure out what they’re talking about. I despise this slow-to-waking feeling. This groggy, hard-to-think space in time.

“Feels wrong to just leave him,” someone else argues.

I groan as I roll over. Arms immediately tighten around my waist. “You assholes woke her up.” I open my eyes to find Ryder glaring at the other guys. Fingers trace down my spine and I turn to find Noah snuggled up against my back, with the rest of the guys at the foot of my bed.

I yawn and stretch my arms above my head. I chuckle as I look up to find Kade’s eyes glued to my chest where my robe has slipped open. I roll my eyes and start to climb over Ryder to get out of bed. “I take it Charles woke up?” I don’t bother asking about the new bruises and cuts on both Luca’s and Kade’s faces. It doesn’t take a genius to guess what they were up to while I slept. Hopefully it helped ease some of their stress and tension.

They both start grumbling and I scoff, guess it didn’t. “Oh, calm down. I’m going to get dressed first.” They act like I would really waltz in there half-naked like this. There’s a lot of places I would do exactly that, but not in a situation like this. Not when it has to do with me finally getting my revenge.

I dress quickly, thankful one of the guys had the foresight to set out a comfortable outfit for me. My bet would be on Noah. The guys stand there watching me pull the tank top over my head and step into the loose athletic shorts. I shake my head, patting Luca and Kade on their cheeks as I walk by them.

“That outfit isn’t much better,” Kade mumbles as I pass him and I can feel his gaze glued to my ass. I understand this is harder on them than the other guys. They have their own history with Charles. Their own painful pasts his presence dredges up.

It doesn’t change that he’s probably our best bet to get what we need.

I keep Ryder’s words in my mind and know any single one of my men would be more than happy to end Charles in a second if he tries anything. I push away the nagging feeling of hope he doesn’t. Either way, we will deal with the fallout and I’ll walk out of that room with my head held high.

I lead the guys out of my room and down the hall to where I had directed Joe and Ian last night. Was it really only last night? I take a deep breath but don’t allow myself to hesitate as I push through the door. I keep my surprise hidden as my eyes wander over the scene in front of me.

Both Ian and Joe stand between the door and the bed, their arms crossed over their chests and looking down where Charles casually sits at the foot of the bed. He looks altogether far too calm for the position he’s in. Both of his feet lay flat against the floor, his eyes focused on his hands folded neatly in his lap.

If I hadn’t been the one to drug him myself, I would never believe he hadn’t chosen to be here. His head lifts as the guys crowd in behind me. I sigh to myself. This room is large, but not enough to not feel small with how many people are in it.

I meet Joe’s eyes and he gives me a small shrug as he and Ian move farther into the room to stand by the window. I take their place, standing closer to the foot of the bed as I peruse Charles. I was too shocked last night to really observe him. To figure out just how much he’s changed.

His eyes run over me in the same way, lingering on the tattoos that now cover both my arms and span across most of my body. Much more visible in my outfit today than the dress I had been wearing last night.

There’s a curiosity in his gaze. Guilt and sadness too. I don’t sense any judgement, any anger, not even any resentment. Ryder was right, I do feel like I have a clearer head after I slept. I was so consumed by the feelings rushing through me last night, I didn’t stop long enough to realize it was concern that had Charles trying to push me out of that ballroom. Concern for his father? Or concern for me?

The soft look in his features right now makes me think it was for me after all. But how does that make sense? Or am I just seeing what it is I secretly desire to see?

He had his chance to protect me and he didn’t. He watched with clenched fists and a shaky body as his friends tried to hurt and humiliate me all over again. Kade saved me. Charles watched. With clenched fists and a shaky body. Maybe there’s more to the story than I know. Or maybe I’m seeing hope and light where only shadows exist.

I turn to find my big guy glaring at Charles, running his thumb down the light scar on his cheek.

Charles clears his throat. I cock my head and arch a brow, waiting him out. Something is off, I just can’t put my finger on what.

He squeezes his hands together in his lap and closes his eyes tightly. “Why did you come back, Charlotte?”

I catch Kade and Luca both flinch in my peripheral at the use of my old name.

I don’t respond, just continue to stare at Charles, trying to unravel the mystery he is presenting me with. It feels like I’m missing something vital. Can I trust my own intuition? My own hesitation? Or am I destined to repeat the same mistakes as my past self?

He keeps eye contact with me. He doesn’t waver as he waits me out, a spark of fear in his eyes. Fear of me or fear for me? I can’t decide. His eyes travel over the guys in the room. I hold my hand up at my side for all of them. I don’t want them to respond to him.

I force back a smile at watching Kade having to swallow his words. I know he wants to berate Charles, has probably been waiting years for this exact opportunity. A part of me is surprised he and Luca had never gone searching for him.

Charles starts to falter, a new look of confusion in his features as he focuses back on me. “There was a reason, wasn’t there?”

Still, I say nothing. I want to see where this thought takes him. Just what is going on in his head. He’s been sitting here so calmly, as if this is a normal experience for him. Granted, with his father I’m sure he has been in a ton of fucked up situations. Nevertheless, he’s close to giving something away. He hasn’t been sitting here, blindly accepting whatever fate he thinks I’ve decided for him. There’s too much calculation in those blue eyes of his for that to be true.

He has some thoughts on why I was there. Why I took him. Why I am the way that I am now.

I want to hear those thoughts. See just how far he’s come on his own while he sat here waiting for me.

“Were you looking for answers, Charlotte?” he questions. It’s lacking the confidence he had with his previous questions. Declan starts to open his mouth but I wave him off. I know he was about to correct the use of my name. He’s already told Charles not to call me that. I know the guys are doing their best to stay quiet, but I can also see the way it is eating at them.

Declan huffs, “That’s not your fucking name.”

I throw a glare his way and arch a brow. He is hardly ever the one to push back against me. To go against an order. I’m surprised by how touchy he’s being over this subject. To me, it’s just a name. A version of myself I no longer like, but one that isn’t going to kill me to hear. At least not while we are secured here anyway.

On the other hand, it is not at all surprising when Kade backs Declan up. “He’s right. You’re Scar. That fucker calls you Charlotte again and I will stab him.”

I press my fingertips to my temple as Luca chimes in, “Shooting him would be faster.” A chorus of agreements sound throughout the room. I shake my head as I survey all of them. Oh my fucking god.

I rub my hand over my face. “Guns, really guys?” I hadn’t realized all seven of them had their weapons already drawn and at their sides. Probably for this entire time since we first entered the room. I guess I should have been more direct in what I wanted from them.

“Shut up,” I call, cutting off their mumblings and complaints about Charles and the directions I had left them. Who knew being told to do nothing was such a hardship for this crew?

A new look of understanding dawns on Charles. If he had suspicions about who was in charge here before, they’ve all been confirmed now. “You were there looking for something,” he hesitates, glancing at the guys. “Someone?”

I check my nails, waiting to see just how close he will get. Will he guess that I’m out for revenge? Has he put together the pieces to get the full picture? Realized last night had been eight years in the making?

“Maybe I can help,” he pushes. “If I knew, I could help.”

I drop my hand, ready to finally comment when Kade beats me to it. “Or, hear me out. We could just kill him.”

I take a deep breath and slowly turn to my big guy, a threatening smile on my face. “I said, shut it.”

Ryder chuckles at his side. “You’re going to pay for that one later.”

I click my tongue and narrow my eyes at him. “And keep it shut.” They really can be so annoying, but it’s hard not to smirk at their antics. At least they aren’t all still looking at me like I’m one wrong word away from breaking. Their usual banter brings a relief to the chasm of confusion in my chest, but it’s still not something I can focus on. The larger part of me just needs them to listen.

It’s time to find out just how much Charles is willing to back up that statement before I kill everyone in this room.

“I can help you get your answers,” Charles swears.

“You don’t know what I’m looking for.” I point out.

“Doesn’t matter,” he’s quick to rebuttal. “Even if I don’t have them, I’ll know where to find them. Being my father’s son doesn’t grant me much, but it does grant me access to just about anything you can imagine.” He says the last part with a shudder. So he isn’t clueless about his father’s operations. I wonder just how much he is privy to.

“What is it you want in exchange?” I ask. I know there’s something. He’s too calm to be bargaining for his own life. I’m not sure if he’s underestimating me, relying on our history for his safety, or has just reasoned that the information he has is worth more than just his life. But I do know there is something he wants in exchange for helping me now. How very brave, and utterly stupid.

I ignore the guys’ outbursts. There’s no point in telling them to shut up again. They’re outraged at the thought of Charles demanding anything from me but I’m curious about what it is he could possibly want from me.

His eyes linger on the weapons in everyone’s hands but my own. He meets my eyes again, a clear determination shining there.

“Kill my father.”