Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen Scar

“Okay, Rachel,”I sigh. “That’s enough.”

I’ve been more than lenient and patient with her mourning. How could I not be? I still think I’m missing something that led Alec to his death. I won’t stop searching for it until I’m satisfied I know everything there is to know about why he had to die. But Rachel has stopped living her life in her grief. Alec would never forgive any of us if we let her continue down this road.

“What’s enough?” she asks, looking up from the computer screen.

“There’s nothing more for you to do here,” I point out. She gives me a look of confusion and I can’t say I blame her. To her it probably feels like this is coming out of left field. The thing is, it really isn’t.

“You’re wasting your time and talent looking into Romano. Charles and Noah are about to pinpoint his exact location and everyone in this room knows it. All you’re doing right now is busy work.”

“Scar,” Jade scolds. I would be surprised about my once sweet friend talking back to me, but Jade has come more into her own with every passing day. Taking care of Rachel has pushed her into being that much harder, that much more determined, and that much more vocal. Even with me.

“No, Jade,” I continue. I respect her need to defend Rachel, but the woman doesn’t need anymore coddling. It’s time for some tough love and a good kick in the ass. “You know damn well I’m right. Romano has less than a month before he meets his expiration date. That’s going to happen with or without her combing through his financial statements,” I pause to look at her screen and roll my eyes before continuing, “from seventeen years ago.”

Rachel doesn’t even bother arguing back. The truth is she probably wasn’t even looking through the records properly anymore. It was a mindless task that helped her focus on anything but the fact she lost Alec. Something that still made her feel as if she was a part of helping get justice for him. But the hard work is behind us. We’ve put in the legwork and now it’s time to patiently wait for the fruit of our labors to blossom. She just isn’t ready to move on to the next thing.

“What isn’t going to happen is dealing with the Alvarados. They’ve taken an interest in all of us for some godforsaken reason and won’t stop poking around our business now.”

She scoffs, finally meeting my eyes. “You love the attention.”

Okay, well she isn’t wrong. It is quite the compliment that a family as prominent and as elusive as they are have their eyes on us, waiting to see what we do next. I felt their respect when they showed up to Alec’s funeral. Knew we had their support when they publicly denounced Romano. But the continued interest goes further than that. What do they want?

And more importantly, how can we take advantage of it?

We can’t really. Having them as an ally is about the best we can gain from them. The promise of future information that will help us expand our power from coast to coast. It isn’t a bad deal on either side for us to get along; both sides benefit while staying in their lanes. We don’t go further than that. Our lanes aren’t anywhere near theirs. Day to day business together just isn’t an option. For us.

For Rachel though? She has the means to expand past drug trade and into weapons. She has the structure, she has the connections, and it won’t be hard for us to move in and steal Romano’s supplier.

“Never said I didn’t,” I point out to her. “But I’m not the one who could benefit the most from their interest.”

She studies me, trying to ascertain just how serious I am. “You want me to get into bed with the Alvarados? Are you insane?”

Ryder snorts and I flip him off. “I’m not saying climb into anyone’s bed,” I argue. “If I was, they sure as hell wouldn’t be the ones I suggest,” I murmur, making her flip me off this time. “It’s a chance to expand your money and power. The Rachel I know would be leaping all over the opportunity. So why aren’t you?”

The others look away, but Jade squeezes her hand as the familiar haunted look enters Rachel’s eyes. The look that feels like the twist of a knife in my gut every time. Her pain is palpable as she lets her walls down.

“Because I can’t imagine doing it without him.” Her eyes fill with tears and a stabbing pain attacks my own heart.

I fall to the floor on my knees in front of her, gently taking her hands in my own.

“I know how bad it hurts. How heavily the guilt weighs on you like you shouldn’t be allowed to be happy without him. Like you should have been the one to die. But we both know Alec would be so pissed at you for thinking that way. For abandoning the dream you both had. The empire you both worked so hard to build.”

Tears splash against our clasped hands and she shakes her head. “I know he would.” Her voice shakes and her hand trembles in mine. “But that’s exactly the problem. It was our dream. Our empire. I don’t know how to do it without him. Every step of the way, he was there. Having my back, at my side. Talking through decisions with me. Pushing me to go harder when I was hesitating and pulling me back when I took things too far. He was my balance, Scar. I don’t know how to do this without him.”

Ryder falls into the seat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She easily melts into his side and even as my heart hurts for her, a small amount of relief is there too at the friendship between the two. They both need more people in their corner.

“It was the same way for me when I watched my sister die,” he whispers softly, just for her.

Ryder has come a long way from the bruised and broken man we saved from that cage, but he still has a hard time talking about his sister. His grief is still palpable in little moments, but he usually only shows it to me.

He’s cutting himself open and letting himself bleed in order to help heal some of Rachel’s wounds and I couldn’t be more proud of him.

“But you have us,” he reminds her. “Just because you’re ready to reclaim your throne, doesn’t mean we stop being here. That we stop helping. When you need to talk through a decision, call us. Need backup? We’re already there.”

She nods against his shoulder and squeezes my hand. “I know you guys have my back.”

“But it’s not the same?” he cuts her off, already knowing where she was going. She nods again. He huffs in faux amusement. “Of course we’re not. No matter how much I love this family, it doesn’t replace my sister. Doesn’t take away the pain of losing her. Or the guilt that I should have saved her. But just because it feels like we can’t survive without them, doesn’t mean we can’t.” He squeezes her shoulder. “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. They deserve more than us giving up the life they wanted for us. You can’t just live for revenge, Rachel. Alec would never forgive us for allowing that to happen.”

“I promise you,” I say, “we will get that revenge. But take it from someone who lived and lost a lot of years by only thinking about revenge, Ryder is right. It’s a disservice to Alec to lose everything with his death.”

She openly sobs in our arms as Jade watches on warily, clearly wanting to jump in but unsure how. I reach and grab her hand, placing it on Rachel’s knee. That’s all she needs from us right now. Being here with her, supporting her.

“I miss him. I know I have you guys, but going back hurts. I see him everywhere. Memories of us are engraved in every inch of Thorns and our home.”

Ryder presses a soft kiss against her head. “One day, that will be comforting. He will always be with you. Always be a part of us. Don’t run away from that.”

We’re all silent for several long moments. The sound of our deep breathing and Rachel’s sniffles the only ones in the room. At some point, everyone else cleared out, giving us our privacy. A chance for Rachel to break and put herself back together again before facing the next step.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll get back to work. I’ll reach out to the Alvarados. I won’t give up the rest of my life, my business. But I need revenge first.”

I meet the steely determination in her eyes and give her my signature savage grin. “Deal.”

As if summoned by my declaration, Charles and Noah burst into the room.

“We found him.”