29 Asher

"Why are you looking at photography courses?" my brother asks, looking over my shoulder. His hair is still wet, and he changed into an army green tank and black Nike shorts. He's been working out more than usual as an outlet to get rid of his built-up anger. It's better than the alternative—the pit.

"What's up?" I slam the laptop screen shut and swing my chair to face him.

"You didn't answer my question."

And there's a reason for it, but he"ll never leave if I don't give him something. And if I lie, he'll know it's a crock of shit.

I sigh. "I was looking at online courses for Shorty."

Donnie sits on the edge of the bed with his hands clasped between his legs. "Why would you be looking in that for her? Did she ask you to?"

If I say yes, he'll flip out because she didn't go to him. If I say no, he'll get pissed off anyway for thinking I'm trying to get in the middle between him and Shorty. He doesn't understand that Shorty is like the sister I never had. I will always look after her and care for her that way. My brother doesn't want to share. In some ways, I understand because he always felt—and will always feel—responsible for not telling someone about the abuse. And knowing things just got worse when we moved doesn't make it any easier.

"No, she didn't."

He looks confused. "Then why?"

"She's always talked about owning her own studio one day. Now with the baby coming, I didn't want her to feel like she can't fulfill her dream, you know?"

Shorty will be raising two kids on her own while Donnie is in college. If I know Shorty, she'll put others before her and may never see her own dreams come true. I can't let that happen—not this time. She needs to know there are people in her corner who will be there for her and her children in every way.

He nods in approval and understanding.

"You know" —he leans back on his hands— "I was going to ask her to move with me to Illinois. I can get an apartment for us, and she can still take online classes or go to school while the kids are in daycare. I didn't know they had an onsite childcare center. Plus, she was looking into schools in Chicago."

"Do Mom and Dad know?"

There's no way our parents are going to allow that to happen. They had a hard enough time accepting his decision to transfer schools and my decision to follow him. Even if they disapprove of his decision, I will support my brother. Where he goes, I go.

He opens his mouth as if he's going to speak when there's a knock at my door.

"Can you boys come downstairs, please?" Mom asks and walks away before we can respond.

"What now?" Donnie sighs and rises to his feet.

Who the hell knows.

Mom has been on edge lately, and Dad's been working late. It makes me wonder if it's because he cannot handle Mom's recent moods. I heard them arguing the other night about Donnie and the baby. I wish she would move past it and accept that he will be a father. Donnie doesn't need the added stress on top of the baby, leaving Shorty behind, and going to college.

We stroll down the steps and follow the voices toward the living room. Dad's standing by the window, still in his suit and holding a glass of bourbon. Mom is sitting on the loveseat near the fireplace, wearing jeans and one of her designer tops.

"What's going on?" Donnie asks as we sit on the couch across from Mom.

Mom takes a deep breath as if to control her emotions and reaches for a folder beside her. "Your father and I received an email from the University of Illinois requesting the funds to cover onsite daycare services."

Oh, shit.

Donnie's body goes rigid. It looks like he will be doing another extensive workout after this conversation.

"Explain yourself, Donovan," Mom demands.

"Explain what?"

Mom sighs. "Donovan Jacob, don't play dumb with me. Did you think we wouldn't find out you were planning?"

"I wouldn't care if you did," Donnie challenges. "I wasn't hiding anything." His tone remains calm, but he's struggling to temper the rage dying to be released. He's like a caged lion pacing back and forth, ready to kill once that gate opens.

"Don't get smart with me. We will not be covering the costs for daycare because Sadie will not be going with you." Mom leaves no room for argument, but that doesn't stop my brother from fighting back.

"I love you, Mom, but you nearly destroyed me with your lies about Sadie's death, so you get zero votes on this." Donnie grinds his jaw back and forth.

"Enough!" Dad barks. He turns to face us. "I understand your reasoning for switching schools and have come to accept it, but getting an apartment to play house with your girlfriend will not allow you to stay focused on your education and career. Let's be real here, son, this is not the right play. And, like your mother, I will not support your decision. Not this time."

"I thought we settled that. I didn't do it intentionally to hurt you," Mom whispers. "You have to stop throwing the past in my face. I made a mistake, but I did it to protect you both."

Donnie leans forward, rubbing his hands together while looking at Dad ignoring Mom's statement. "Mom, I know that. And I'm sorry." He sighs. "I didn't finalize anything."

He turns to Dad, saying, "And even if I did, as a father, wouldn't you want me to do the right thing?"

"Doing the right thing is getting an education to support your family. Have you considered what the move would do to Sadie and her family? Have you thought about her feelings at all?"

"Yes, I have. Every decision I make is for her and our baby." Donnie leans back, rubs his hands down his face, looks up at the ceiling, and grunts.

"You act like I'm committing a crime." Donnie looks away from the ceiling and back to our parents. "All I wanted from you is your support and understanding. I don't want to hear how disappointed you are in me for making a decision you feel is wrong."

The room becomes quiet as everyone ponders Donnie's words.

Dad turns to me. "I take it you support your brother?"

I nod. "Yeah, but you guys act like he already made the decision when he hasn't. He was looking into other options so he could be part of his baby's life. There's nothing wrong with that. And this is Shorty we're talking about. Not just a random girl he knocked up. Donnie isn't going to have babies and not take care of his family."

Dad stares at me for a minute, then looks back to Donnie. "If you decide to go through with this, and Sadie agrees, talk to me before you make any final decisions. That's all I ask."

"Charles," Mom gasps.

He holds his hands up to stop her from continuing. "He's a smart kid for an eighteen-year-old. We can trust him to make the right call."

"That's just it. He's a kid. I don't care that he's eighteen. The law views him as an adult, but he is still my baby." Mom turns her teary eyes to me. "They both are."

Dad walks over to Mom and pulls her to his side. "He's going to be fine. Ash is right; Donnie is responsible and will take care of his family." He kisses her temple. "You should be proud of the good man he has become."

Mom's tears fall, and Dad tightens his hold on her.

Donnie rises to his feet and approaches Mom, taking a deep breath. He pulls Mom into a hug and gives her a genuine smile when he pulls back. "It's going to be ok, Mom. You'll see."

"From now on, let's talk things through together," Dad says.

Donnie meets his gaze and nods. "Yeah, deal."