Chapter twenty-one

After Donnie and I took a "swing" down memory lane, I found peace. I slept like a baby for the first time since Jo passed away. Everything Donnie has done for me and will continue to do in the future is overwhelming. However, it also makes me feel important, like someone is putting me first for once.

I'll do whatever it takes to make this relationship work, even if I have to sacrifice a part of myself to give him the future he deserves.

"Mama."

I glance in the rearview mirror at my daughter, smiling while she holds the baseball teddy bear Ash bought for her.

"Hey, baby girl. We're here. Are you excited to see your uncles?"

I pull into the parking lot of Seb's uncle's auto shop. It's been a few days since I've seen the guys, and I miss them like crazy. I'll never understand what I did to deserve a family who loves with their whole heart and will sacrifice themselves for me. They have been there for me in every way possible. I will never take their love and friendship for granted.

Turning the ignition off, I climb out of my car and pull Sophia out of her seat. Hoisting the diaper bag over my shoulder, I shut the door with my hip and walk toward the entrance.

As soon as we walk through the doors, Sophia lets out an excited giggle and waves her hands in the air. She's been hanging out here since she was born.

"Hey! Look who's here. Little Reina." Seb wipes his hands on a red rag and shoves it in the back pocket of his overalls.

"What's up, Reina!" Gio exclaims while sliding out from underneath a car. He jumps to his feet and jogs toward us.

"Hey guys," I say with a huge smile.

I love my boys.

Sophie continues to make baby talk as if the guys will understand her.

"Hey, baby girl." Gio kisses my cheek, grabs Sophia from my arms, and swings her around.

Seb walks up to me and pulls me into a big hug. He rests his head on mine and says, "It's good to see you." He pulls away, giving me a small smile. "You look good."

Seb had a difficult time dealing with everything that happened more than the others because it was his family that hurt me. I keep reminding him that it's not his fault. We didn't decide who our family will be. Besides, I am his family, and he's mine. That's all that matters.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brings you here?" he asks, gesturing for me to follow him. We walk through the garage and out to the back patio the guys set up.

"Yo, Max!" Seb bellows.

I sit down on one of the plastic chairs.

"Yo!" Max yells back.

"Get La Reina something to drink."

"La Reina is here? No shit." His laugh carries throughout the garage.

"I'm okay, Seb." I place the diaper bag on the floor by my feet.

He waves his hand in the air, dismissing my comment. Seb sits across from me and leans back with his legs spread apart.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, voice full of concern.

"Yeah, everything is good. I just wanted to see you guys."

He gives me a pointed look, not overly convinced by my words.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, Seb, I promise everything is good. The days are getting easier."

And that's because of Donnie.

"I'm glad to hear that. You look a little brighter." He smiles.

"Fuck me twice. La Reina is in the house!" Max shouts.

"Hey, Max." He grins down at me.

He sets my drink down, lifts me off the chair, and swings me in a circle.

"Be careful!" Seb barks.

"Oh, fuck." Max quickly sets me down. "Did I hurt you?" He lowers his voice.

"Oh, yeah. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me," I assure him by wrapping my hands around his waist.

"I missed you," I whisper.

"I missed you too." He kisses the top of my head, giving me one more squeeze.

When I pull away from him, Gio comes strolling in with my daughter over his shoulders.

"Sophie's in the house!" he shouts, making Sophie giggle.

We sit around and enjoy each other's company. The guys remind me it's not the same at school without me. They ask if I will participate in the graduation ceremony, and I tell them I am planning on it.

While preparing to head out, my phone vibrates in my purse. I pull it out, and a number I don't recognize appears on the screen. My face scrunches in confusion.

I reject the call.

"You all right?" Seb asks, holding Sophie who looks minutes away from falling asleep. Uncle Gio must've worn her out.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I'll let you guys get back to work. I'm sure your uncle isn't going to be happy I've taken up your time." I grab the diaper bag and put the strap over my shoulder.

"Nah. He doesn't give a shit. It's quiet today, anyway." Seb shrugs.

We make our way through the garage to the parking lot. When we get to my car, Seb opens the back door gingerly and sits Sophie in her car seat. He keeps the door open, allowing air to flow through.

I toss the diaper bag in the front seat.

I look back at Seb and tilt my head to the side.

He looks so sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. A small breeze brushed against my skin.

Seb interlocks his fingers and wraps them on the back of his neck, looking up to the sky.

When he finally meets my gaze, his eyes roam my face with regret pooling in his eyes.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Reina." He rakes his hand down his face.

"Hey, hey." I reach for his hands. "Stop that. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I didn't get you in time. I—"

I raise my hand in the air to stop him from putting more blame on himself. "You saved me."

He tries to pull away, but I tug harder.

"Listen to me. You have kept me safe since we were kids. You always had my back, even when I didn't want it. You warned me about Christian, and I didn't listen. So, that's on me. Everything that happened to me was not. Your. Fault." I stress the last three words with conviction. I need him to believe it was not his doing.

Tears glisten in his eyes. Seb never shows emotion, but he feels it all when it comes to me.

"You have to stop taking on so much blame, Seb. That's a huge burden to carry. You need to let it go." I wipe away the tear that made its way out.

"I love you, Reina. You're my sister." His voice cracks, and he pulls me into his arms.

"I love you too, Seb. You know you're a stubborn ass."

A deep chuckle vibrates from his chest.

"Yeah, I know. But you love me anyway."

"I do." I smile against his chest.

Seb pulls away but keeps his hands on my upper arms. "You know that boy Donnie fucking loves you. Don't push him away anymore. He will take good care of you, and I trust he will keep you safe."

I look away, not wanting him to see my tears.

"You deserve happiness, Reina. And he's the one to give it to you."

He places a kiss on my forehead.

Since Frankie's death, I've been wanting to speak with Seb about that night, which is why I'm here today. He hasn't said anything about it, but I need to make sure he's okay.

"Seb, I can't imagine what you're going through since you shot Frankie. You can talk to me about it." He pulls me back in for a hug.

"I'm okay. I'm dealing with it."

"Seb, taking someone's life…I can't imagine what you and Max must be going through."

"It's not the first time we killed, Reina. You know this."

I pull away from him enough to look up at his face. "I know, but he was your family."

Before he can respond, someone calls my name.

"Yo, Reina!" I glance over Seb's shoulder to see Gio's panicked expression as he runs toward us.

"What the fuck is going on?" Seb barks.

"Here." He hands me my phone, panting.

"Oh, shit. I didn't realize I left it."

"Take the call," he says urgently.

I furrow my brow at him. "Why?"

"Just take it and put it on speakerphone," he says in a serious tone.

I pull it to my ear when Gio says, "Unmute it."

Thankfully, the area is not busy with noisy traffic.

Pressing the unmute and speaker buttons, I hold the phone out for them to hear.

"Hello?" I say.

Silence.

"Hello?" I try again.

Then I hear it.

Heavy breathing.

"Sadie?"

No. No, no, no.

"It's Christian," the caller says in a small voice.

"What do you want?" I clipped.

"I need to talk to you."

"Christian, I don't have anything to say to you. Please do not call me again."

"Sadie, ple—"

I hang up the phone before he can continue.

"What the fuck? He's harassing you through the phone now?" Seb growls, taking a step back as if to calm himself.

All I can say is what. The. Fuck.

"If he calls again, don't answer," Seb warns.

"I won't," I promise.

But by the shakiness in Christian's tone, my curiosity may break that promise.