Chapter ten

The past two days with Donnie were exactly what I needed. He made the pain bearable by showing me how much he loves me and reminding me over and over how strong I am. I finally convinced him to go home, eat, shower, and sleep. His few days' worth of stubble tickled my face every time we kissed. Don't get me wrong— he's got the sexy gruff look going on, especially when he wears his hat backward. I threatened to lock him out of my room, but he made a smart-ass comment about nothing keeping him out. That he'll always find a way to get to me.

Always.

However, that feeling didn't last for long. I didn't sleep well last night because of my recurring nightmare. I dreamt about the night Dad stabbed me, and Mom reached for me, begging me to save her. When I couldn't, she blamed me for Jo's death and screamed that it should've been me instead. I thrashed in bed and fought against the nurses who were nothing but good to me as they tried to restrain me. I pulled my IV out several times, welcoming the pain that I thought I deserved. I thought about how much better off my daughter would be without me because I am completely useless.

I cry for almost losing my mother.

I cry for my father, not knowing why he did what he did.

I cry for my brother and not being able to save him from his own demons.

And I cry for me…for everything being out of my control.

Loud voices boom outside my room. The last thing I hear before darkness takes over Donnie fighting to make his way to me.