Chapter 6

6

Three days later, I wake up with a heavy clench in my stomach. I know why even before I open my eyes.

Today is the day I have to go home.

Today I have to leave Mack.

I really, really don’t want to.

Reluctantly I roll over on the bed in my room—Chloe’s old room—and position myself so I can look at Mack beside me.

He came to my room last night so we could have sex before going to sleep, and we were both limp and exhausted afterward. He evidently never made it back to his own room and his own bed.

He’s still asleep, breathing slow and deep, both arms resting above the covers. His beard is messy, and there’s a scar that runs from his jaw and down his neck toward his shoulder from a knife wound three years ago. One of his hands is clenched in the fabric like he can’t let go even in his sleep.

My heart clamps down hard at the sight of him. So hard it aches in my chest.

How the hell am I ever going to make myself leave this morning? How the hell am I going to spend the rest of my life without him?

If he asked me, I might stay with him—even here, even now. That’s how bleak my vision of a future without him is. He hasn’t asked, however. He hasn’t even brought it up.

The past three days have been better than I would have expected. Mack is still swinging back and forth between his old, warm self and the new, harder, closed-off man he’s become, but he hasn’t lashed out at me again. I’m sure he’s enjoyed having me here and not just for the sex.

And the sex… the sex has been hotter and deeper and more satisfying than I knew was possible a week ago.

I’ve been gazing at him sleep for a few minutes when his body twitches abruptly. His eyes are still closed as he lifts his head and mumbles, “Anna.” He sounds urgent. He reaches over and feels blindly until he’s clutching my hip.

“I’m here,” I say softly, trying to keep my voice from breaking. “I’m right here.”

With a throaty sound, he opens his eyes and turns his head toward me. After a few seconds, he must orient himself because the tension relaxes on his face. He rolls onto his side so we’re facing each other. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“What time is it?”

“Not dawn yet. We’ve still got time.”

I need to get to the Carlsons’ farm by midday so Cal and Rachel don’t leave without me, but Mack is going to drive me in the ATV so we’ll make much better time than I did on my way here.

We stare at each for a long stretch of time. I wait to see if he’ll say something—share how he’s feeling and what he really wants—but he doesn’t.

So I can’t resist. I ask softly, “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?”

His expression tightens but only briefly. He mutters, “I can’t. I’m… I’m not ready.”

“Okay. I get it.” I’ve been trying very hard to be good and not pressure him in any way, but I’m running out of time. That knowledge and the desperation it provokes pushes me to continue. “You wouldn’t have to… to do what you used to do. You could find a cabin or something that’s out of the way. But… but closer to all your friends than this.”

I can’t tell if he’s getting angry or defensive, but he’s not showing it if he is. “I can’t, Anna. I can’t… I can’t do this if I’m close.”

He’s probably right. If he was close enough to safely reach, he’d have one visitor after another, each of them determined to draw him back.

“Besides,” he continues in that same thick mutter, “they’ll never forgive me for leaving like I did.”

I gasp, startled out of the gentle calm I’ve been hanging on to. “What? What are you talking about? Of course they’ll forgive you. There’s nothing to forgive.”

“Yeah, there is.” He lets out a long, shaky breath. “I walked away. I walked away from people who needed me. Who trusted me. You know how Faith is about men who leave.”

Now I understand what he’s talking about and that it’s not as irrational as I first assumed.

It’s not surprising he’s identified Faith as the source of the reaction. New Haven has been central to our region for as long as I’ve been part of it because the farm was self-sustaining even immediately after Impact. No one could thrive in the area without cooperating and trading with New Haven, and Faith and Jackson will only work with like-minded people, those who value hard work, generosity, and fair treatment.

Because of this, the farm has shaped the spirit of the region in a tangible way, and the heart of New Haven has always been Faith’s kindness, strength, and clear vision of right and wrong—and Jackson’s absolute devotion to her.

Faith will always resent men who leave, and so the rest of the community more or less reflects that.

“It won’t be like that, Mack,” I say, reaching out to stroke his rough beard. “She forgave Cal. Everyone forgave Cal.”

“That’s because Rachel forgave Cal. If she hadn’t, he never would’ve been taken back. You know he wouldn’t’ve.”

“Y-yeah. That’s probably true. But you didn’t walk away and hurt someone the way he did.”

“I walked away and hurt everyone.” It clearly pains him. This knowledge of what he sees as his own failure. His own weakness. I can see the angst tightening his mouth, his jaw, his shoulders.

“No, you didn’t. Not in the same way. I haven’t heard anyone talking bad about you. Everyone’s mostly just worried about you.”

He takes a couple of slow breaths. A muscle spasms on his jawbone.

I’m so upset I sit up. “Mack, no one is angry with you. I promise they’re not. Please don’t let that keep you away.”

He still doesn’t answer.

“I know Faith and Jackson have been pivotal, but they’re not the only ones who have shaped who we are. You have too, Mack. Faith might be our moral center, but you’ve always been our heart. You , Mack. Your courage and your laughter and your care for every single person you encounter and your… your empathy. They’re going to understand, Mack, because you would have understood them.” A couple of tears stream down my face despite my best effort to hold them back. “If there’s anything to fo rgive, they’ll forgive because you would have forgiven them.”

He makes another one of those throaty sounds that don’t form real words. His shoulders shake very briefly, and for a moment I have hope that I’ve really gotten through the barriers he’s erected around himself.

I whisper, “They love you, Mack, because you’ve always loved them.”

He swallows hard over the rise of emotion inside him. “I… can’t.”

Swiping away my tears, I nod. I can’t speak immediately, but as soon as I control my inner sobbing, I say hoarsely, “All right. Are you still okay taking me back to Cal and Rachel this morning?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course I am.” He glances over at the window, shaking off the intensity of the conversation with a shrugging gesture. “I guess it’s about time to get up.”

I packed most of my stuff last night, so it doesn’t take long for us to dress, eat a quick breakfast, and get ready to leave. In the cargo compartment of the quad are a few things Chloe asked me to bring back if I could—a photo album, a few books, her grandpa’s pipe, and a small crocheted blanket. We add my own stuff, barely squeezing it in, and then take our seats .

Neither one of us is talking very much. There’s not much left to say.

We drive along the trail in the forest without incident. We only encounter one lonely hiker, and he steps off into the trees to get out of our way. It’s barely a couple of hours when we’re clearing the woods and coming out at the old parking lot where I left Cal and Rachel a week ago.

They’re not there now, of course. We need to get across the border region and reach the farming community before we’ll really be safe.

I’ve got my pistol out of the holster and ready as Mack picks up his speed—not simply because we can go faster out of the forest but because the slower we go, the more danger we’re in.

Maybe because it’s not even midmorning yet, but there aren’t as many people out and about as there were when Cal, Rachel, and I came through last week. We run across one group of guys on foot who immediately start shooting at us. I shoot back, but Mack has us out of range before either side can hit anything. And a couple of miles later, there’s an old restaurant building with some guards posted. Mack changes direction to give it a wide berth, and no one attempts to come after us.

Otherwise, we have a clear path through the border and into the rolling hills and pastures that separate The Wild from the farms.

“That seemed too easy,” I say against his ear when I’m finally able to relax a little. “Way easier than when I came through with Cal and Rachel a week ago.”

“Yeah. Kind of weird. What’s everyone doing today?”

I don’t have an answer to that, but it worries me. I keep alert as we continue, scanning our surroundings for any hint of danger.

There’s nothing—not until we’re getting closer to our destination. I hear gunshots before I see anything.

“Over that hill,” Mack murmurs, gesturing in front of us and toward the right. “Something’s happening over there.”

He slows down to almost a stop and searches the horizon in front of us. He’s breathing heavily. That and the distant sound of gunfire are the only things I can hear.

Finally Mack says, “Looks like there are some trees over that way that could give us protection. I’m not taking you into whatever that is until we know what’s going on.”

“That makes sense. Let’s get into the trees and then maybe we can check things out before anyone sees us.”

He steers us toward the right, angling so we’re backtracking slightly—no doubt so that we have plenty of space to get a view on the situation before we’re spotted. When we make it to the wooded area, we have to slow down because there’s not an established trail. We drive at basically a crawl as Mack maneuvers us around large trees, over thick roots, and through overgrown foliage until the sounds of the firing guns get louder.

It’s only because we’re at the top of a hill that slopes down into a wide valley that we can get our eyes on the situation. It’s definitely a gunfight. It looks like one group used these same trees to attack another group who was making camp in the valley near the collapsed remains of an old complex of self-storage units.

The attackers are definitely part of the border gangs. The nature of their appearance, their weaponry, and their position make it clear. They’re far out of their territory, and it’s unclear why they’ve launched the attack.

I can’t get any real sense of the group on defense because they’re using the buildings for cover, except a couple of campfires are still burning, so it looks like they were taken by surprise.

“Are those folks from the farms?” Mack asks, squinting as he peers past a few tree branches to see down the slope. We’re right where the trees are breaking, so we’re almost exposed but not quite.

“I can’t tell. Surely not. They wouldn’t be camping out like that. It almost looks like—” I break off my words when I see a figure dash out from behind the storage unit and drag back another person who’s been wounded and is lying on the ground. The woman who is pulling the other woman back has distinctive silver-white hair that stands out even from this distance. “That’s Rose! Mack, that’s Rose! This must be Maria and her crew. What the hell are they doing all the way out this way?”

“You sure?” He’s peering down trying to identify people like I am .

“Yes. I’m positive.” I’ve started dismounting from the ATV. “Look, they’re beginning the Triangle B formation. They only do that when things are bad. They need help. I’ve got to?—”

Mack grabs for the back of my shirt before I can step out from the trees. “No fucking way, Anna. You’re not heading down there with no plan and no protection.”

“But those bad guys have the high ground. Maria and them need help, and I don’t want you to have to—” I twist my face to control what feels like tears behind my eyes. I’m nearly torn in half between Mack’s indignant, protective stance and the women down in that valley, who for a long time were my team, my family.

“You think I’d ever hide up here in the trees while you run down there to get shot? No matter what? Get your ass back on here and let me think for a few seconds.”

I do as he says because his tone is confident as well as grouchy. Whatever we do will certainly be safer on this vehicle than on foot.

He scans the valley again. “Okay. We’re aiming for that abandoned truck. We’ll use it for cover. We’ll be coming from behind them, so we’ll have brief advantage. We might be able to distract them enough for Maria and the others to get stabilized and claim a stronger position.”

I nod, rubbing my face and stiffening my spine in preparation. “Are you sure, Mack? I don’t want you to have to?—”

“How can you even ask me that?” he bites out, moving the quad fully clear of the trees. “I’m not letting you do this without me.”

He starts off before I can answer, but I wouldn’t have any words anyway. My heart is hammering, and my pulse is throbbing, and the entire world is starting to close down to nothing more than each single step, the way it always does when I’m purposefully walking into danger.

I’ve done things like this before, but they were mostly when I was with Maria and her crew, so I was one of a group and never a principal actor.

“Don’t start shooting until I say so,” Mack mutters just before he revs the engine. Then we accelerate with a jerk and begin driving down the slope toward a long-forgotten pickup truck as fast as this vehicle can go.

The world has turned into a vague blur except the feel of the gun in my hand and Mack’s big body in front of me. When he says, “Now!” I start shooting, aiming at the backs of the men closest to our location.

They have no idea we’re behind them. I hit three of them—and watch their bodies drop one by one—before any of them even manage to turn around.

Mack gets some of them too. I can’t focus on what he’s doing enough to count numbers, but I know he’s shooting with one hand and doing his best to steer and drive with his other.

When some of the men finally start returning fire, Mack moves his body in an attempt to block me from their bullets, but it’s only for a few seconds because we’ve made it to the pickup.

I jump off quickly and take a position behind the truck bed, staying low so I can fire and not get hit at the same time.

I’m not sure I actually kill or wound anyone else, but it doesn’t matter. Mack is beside me doing the same thing, and our approach broke the line of the assault, giving Maria’s women the chance to regroup.

Soon they’re moving forward in practiced formation, and in less than five minutes every single bad guy is either dead or disarmed.

I’m winded and rather disoriented when the shooting stops. Mack and I are still crouched behind the pickup.

He puts a strong hand on my shoulder to keep me down while he straightens up to check things out. Then he helps me to my feet.

My knees buckle slightly—I often get weirdly dazed like this after an intense, violent altercation—so I grab for Mack’s shirt to steady myself.

He takes the pistol from my hand gently and wraps an arm around me.

He doesn’t say anything. Maybe he would have, or maybe I would have myself, but we don’t have the opportunity. Rose has seen me and lets out a whoop. A couple of the women nearest us are ones I know from when I was part of this group, and they run over to give me hugs.

It’s only a couple of minutes before Maria herself walks over after she’s ascertained that none of the men on the ground are further threats.

She’s several inches taller than me—fit with sleek dark hair, tan skin, and striking dark eyes. She smiles broadly and extends a hand to me. I grip hers with genuine appreciation and a warmth of affection and familiarity in my chest. It’s been more than a year since I’ve seen her and the others.

She says, “Excellent timing, Anna, and very good shooting. It’s nice to see you haven’t gotten soft since you left us.”

“It was purely an accident we stumbled on you, but I’m glad we were here. It looked pretty bad.”

“It was.” Maria turns to face Mack, who has taken a step back. “Thank you for your help too. It’s good to see you again. You were missed.” She reaches out to grip his hand too.

Mack’s shoulders relax as he returns the handshake, and I realize he was afraid Maria might reproach him. She’s never afraid of telling men to their face exactly what she thinks of their behavior, even those who are on her side. I’ve seen her do it again and again.

But I was right this morning in what I said about the people who care about Mack. I was right, and he was wrong.

He gives a brief inclination of his head and mutters, “Thanks. Glad you’re okay.”

She’s searching his expression in a genuinely unnerving way. “I’m glad Anna was able to find you. I hope this means you’re back.”

She doesn’t give Mack an opportunity to respond one way or another because she’s already shifting her focus to Rose and requesting a report on injuries and losses.

After a brief conversation, she turns back to meet my eyes and then Mack’s. “We’ve been hearing talk of trouble out this way, so we’ve been scoping out this region for almost a month now. It’s not good. Too many criminals in this one area, and someone has started to organize them. We can’t let it stand.”

I nod slowly, licking my lips as I think about what she’s said. That’s what the folks in the farming community nearby have been worried about for months now. In the past, the thugs and ruffians hung out in the general vicinity of the border but didn’t act with any unified purpose, so they weren’t a threat beyond their area. But they’ve been encroaching farther for months now, starting with the attack on Jimmy and Chloe that ended up traumatizing Mack. And this attack on Maria was clearly planned and organized because she’d become a threat to them.

We’ve seen in the past that, whenever the bad sort get too entrenched and too powerful, Maria feels compelled to take them out. Only a couple of years ago the same thing happened much farther east in western Virginia.

I should have known Maria wouldn’t let this situation lie. Not when it’s in her range and ability to act .

“What can we do?” I ask her, genuinely curious.

“I’ve got an idea. But we’re going to need help.” She glances back at her crew, who are tending the wounded and disarming the bodies of the dead attackers. “We’re going to need a lot of help.”

A couple of hours later, Mack and I are in the sunroom of the Carlsons’ farmhouse, sitting on a bench across from Cal and Rachel.

They were both thrilled to see Mack. As soon as Rachel saw us approach, she broke into a run, sprinting over and launching herself at Mack with a hug. Even Cal was effusive (for him). He gave Mack a hard pat on his back and announced it was great to see him. And while both of them were no doubt disappointed when Mack explained he wasn’t planning to go home yet, they didn’t pressure or reproach him. Partly, I suspect, because they were sure they’d see him again soon.

In the short time since we encountered Maria, a lot has been decided. Maria is going to organize an attack on the place she’s identified as the central headquarters for the criminal activity around the border, but it’s going to take a huge force to carry out her plan. Even with most of the nearby farming community willing to help, she’ll need a lot of extra hands, so she’s heading back toward our region of Kentucky to recruit assistance .

Cal and Rachel are doing the same. They don’t even hesitate before jumping right into the planning and implementation. And after about an hour’s worth of group discussion with the others, they’ve decided to leave this afternoon to get started.

Rachel asks me privately if I want to come with them, and I tell her I don’t know.

Because I don’t know.

I don’t yet know all my options.

So by mutual agreement, the four of us have broken off from the rest of the group so we can talk before Cal and Rachel take off.

“You’re sure you don’t want to come with us?” Rachel asks Mack, her green eyes huge and worried. Almost pleading. “You don’t have to be part of this whole thing.” She gestures back at the larger room in the house where we can still hear Maria talking. “You can just go home.”

Mack shakes his head. “I can’t.”

It’s the same thing he told me, so I’m not surprised by the response. I reach over without looking at him and rub his thigh, wanting to comfort him somehow and not having any other method.

Rachel sees the gesture and appears to make mental note of it, but she doesn’t comment. She shifts her eyes to my face. “Are you coming with us or staying with Mack?”

My throat tightens so much I can’t make anything more than a weird helpless sound. She and Cal clearly don’t know that I haven’t been invited to accept the second option.

Mack stiffens beside me. “She’s not staying here. She’s going back where it’s safe. She’s gonna teach English in Halbrook.”

“Mack,” I mumble, turning toward him more fully. We’ve been sharing the bench so we’re right next to each other. “That’s not what I’m going to do.”

His mouth twists. “Please, Anna,” he says hoarsely, so softly it’s just to me. “I want you safe and happy. I need that.”

“I might be safe there, but I won’t be happy. I need to… I’m going to help with this plan. However I can.”

His jaw clenches. “Why do you have?—?”

“Because Maria helped me when I needed it. She helped me be strong. And now she’s the one who needs help, and I’m not going to let her down.” I reach out to take Mack’s face in both hands as if I can force my words to get through to him. “Because these people here on the farms have been nothing but good to us, and they need help too.”

He stares at me for several seconds, breathing hard through his nose. His face is slightly damp like he’s started to sweat. “Is that the real reason?” he finally asks.

“Yes, it’s the real reason. But also… also…” My voice breaks, and I can’t finish. I can’t look away from his fierce stare.

“Say it. ”

“Because the people we’ll be fighting are the ones who hurt you,” I force out, feeling naked, completely exposed. “And they’re going to answer for that.”

No one says anything for a minute. I notice from the corner of my eye that Rachel has reached over to hold Cal’s hand.

“They’re gonna answer,” Cal says at last. “They’re gonna answer for all of what they’ve done.”

Rachel nods and leans forward. “They will. Maria is on the warpath, and we all know what that means. So, Anna, you can either come with us now and return here when we do, or you can stay with Mack and then join us in six weeks when everyone starts gathering.”

The drive in Cal’s truck takes less than two days, but on foot like Maria and her crew the trip takes almost two weeks. We need a lot of time to gather forces.

I clear my throat and turn back toward Mack.

There’s a long moment when I’m really not sure what he’ll decide. But then he drops his eyes and mutters, “Stay with me.”

My heart does a silly bounce. “Really?”

“Yeah. Stay with me.”

That evening, I climb into my bed in the cabin, exhausted and relieved and strangely fluttery.

I don’t know what it means that Mack asked me to stay with him for the next six weeks. He never explained it, and I was too uncomfortable to ask. But clearly he doesn’t want to get rid of me. He no longer wants to remain completely alone. He might not be ready to rejoin the world, but he’s not in the same place he was last week.

It’s something. It’s a lot.

And I’ll take any opportunity I’m given to spend more time with him since there’s a good chance it will only be temporary.

When we reached the cabin, Mack went to bring in firewood because the evening is chilly. While he worked at getting the woodstove burning, I made a simple dinner of fried potatoes and sliced beef from the big hamper of food Greta Carlson prepared for us before we left the farm earlier.

We were quiet as we ate, and then I went to take a shower while Mack locked everything up for the night.

He’s in the shower now. I hear the water running. I hope he’s planning to join me in bed, but I don’t know for sure.

Everything feels different now. Maybe he’ll want some space.

I pull the covers up over my shoulders since I’m wearing a little blue nightgown I found in Chloe’s dresser. I wait, listening as the water turns off in the bathroom. Then there’s some moving around. Footsteps in the hallway.

I left the bedroom door half-closed, and Mack pushes it open all the way as he enters. He’s wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, and he drops it before he gets under the covers beside me.

With a thrill of relief and affection, I roll over to make room for him. He eases me onto my back and moves over me, his lower body pressing its weight into me. He props himself on one forearm and uses the other to span my neck and jaw with one of his hands.

“Hi,” I say, having no idea what else to say.

He gives a dry huff, his eyes warming slightly. “Hi.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to?”

He frowns, his eyes gently searching my face. “Because you broke up with me two years ago, and I thought that would mean you wouldn’t.”

I take a weird shuddering breath as nerves and excitement both flutter in my chest. “I… I don’t know. Things feel different now. I’m not sure why. I know everything is kind of in flux and nothing is… is decided. But right now, I want to be with you. As long as you want it too.”

“I’ve always wanted to be with you,” he murmurs. He’s still holding my head like it’s precious.

“I guess I…” I swallow hard but make myself finish the sentence. “I guess I’ve never really understood why.”

He’s doing that heavy breathing again—like there’s too much going on inside him, so much that it takes effort to contain it. “What do you mean? ”

“I don’t know. Just that you’re you . You can have anyone. Someone younger or prettier or stronger or sexier. Someone with a less complicated past. Someone who would never want to say no to you. For anything. For any reason. So why… why… did you never move on?”

He shakes his head like he’s really thinking about the answer. “I tried. I did. And honestly I’m not sure how or exactly when it happened. When we first met, I thought you were sweet and smart and pretty and stronger than you ever realized. I liked helping you.”

“I get that part. I was needy, and you have a hero complex.” When he starts to object, I go on. “Don’t try to argue. We both know it’s true.”

“Okay, yeah. That was probably it at first. And when we started having sex on the way to get you to Maria that first time, I really thought it was just because we both needed some… some comfort.”

“That’s what I thought too. That’s what it was. So when did it change?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I just woke up one day and knew—I knew —that you were my resting place.”

The soft words touch me so deeply I make a little whimper. “Mack.”

He kind of shrugs. “And nothing I do can change it. I promise I tried.”

I want to kiss him so badly that the attempt to hold back almost rips me in two. But even with his naked confession, I still don’t know if that’s allowed .

Because I still may not be the person who is capable of giving him what he really wants and needs.

“I don’t feel like I used to,” he goes on. “About life. About myself. So I know whatever this is—between us—isn’t what I thought I wanted before. It’s not… not forever. But I didn’t realize how lonely I’ve been until you showed up last week. And despite everything else that’s different now, I still want to be with you. That one thing hasn’t changed. So for now, just for now, I figured maybe I can… I can have it.”

I make a gurgle as I try yet again not to cry. He’s clearly drawing limits around our relationship. He doesn’t want to be my husband and the father of my children like he used to want. We have these six weeks and nothing more. But it’s so much better—so much more—than I thought I’d ever get of him again. “I want that too. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the next couple of months, but for now we have this… this space where we can be together. So let’s be together like this while we can and worry about the rest of it later.”

Mack’s face tightens in the way it always does when he’s emotionally affected. “Yeah. That sounds good to me.” He moves his hand, stroking my hair back from my face and then rubbing my lips with two of his fingers.

The light touch triggers all kinds of nerve endings that send ripples of pleasure through my body.

“I can just hold you tonight if you want,” he says, his voice thickened now from more than just emotion .

I shake my head. “I need more than that tonight.”

“Okay.” He pauses only a few seconds before he lifts his body from mine to make room for me to move. “Then why don’t you turn over on your stomach?”

My pussy clenches in excitement as I rearrange, stretching out on my front with my head turned toward the side.

He slides up the skirt of my gown and rubs my bottom. Then he lowers himself again and moves my hair so he can kiss my shoulder and the back of my neck.

I sigh in pleasure as he takes his time kissing his way down my spine, and I’m deeply aroused when he reaches my butt. He lifts it slightly. Mouths down the back of my thigh and then over, nuzzling lower until he finds my pussy and gives it a big lick.

I’m so turned on I let out a little squeal at the sensations. It feels like he’s smiling as he repositions himself over me so he’s almost lying on top of me, using his knees for support to line his hard cock up at my entrance and pushing in. “How’s that?” he murmurs.

“It’s good.”

“You’re so hot and wet and tight. You’re letting me in so good.”

I moan helplessly at the tight penetration and at his words. I love the feel of his big body pressing down into mine. “Mack,” is all I can say.

He’s breathing faster now. His muscles are tense, and his cock is big and thick inside me. “Fuck, Anna. This is what I need.”

“Me too. Me too.” I rock my hips up in response to the deep compulsion of my body. I need him to take me. Fuck me. Claim me.

When he starts to thrust, it’s slow and steady and rhythmic. It feels good. So incredibly good. I groan and gasp and fit my arm around one of his so I can hold on to his flexing bicep.

Mack is moaning almost as much as I am. His breath is hot and damp against my skin.

After a few minutes, when he doesn’t change his tempo, I say, “It feels like you’re holding back, Mack. Why are you holding back?”

“I thought you might need it gentle tonight.” He bites back what sounds like another groan—as much effort as pleasure.

“I don’t want it gentle.” My face is blazing hot, and I’m feeling so much more in my heart. “I don’t want you to hold back. I want everything from you.”

He makes another guttural sound as his hips jerk clumsily against my bottom a few times. As if he momentarily lost control of them.

I cry out at the feel of it. “Yes! Just like that. Mack, please!”

He must realize now that I mean it because he lets out a loud groan and picks up his pace. Soon he’s pushing into me from behind hard and fast, grunting loudly each time his thrusts shake my body and the bed.

I’ve started grunting with him as his motion builds me up toward release. I shamelessly pump my ass up toward his thrusts and then make a helpless sound as I finally fall into orgasm.

He’s right behind me, pushing a few final times into my clenching pussy before he yanks out his cock and holds it against my bottom as he comes.

My skin and lungs and pussy are burning deliciously as he falls down on top of me afterward. His weight presses me into the mattress, and it’s exactly what I want right now.

Mack. Letting go of all his resistance. Letting me bear his weight, if only for a minute.

He gives my shoulder a few clumsy kisses as he catches his breath. “Are you sure that’s what you wanted?” he finally asks.

I turn my head to look over my shoulder at him as I say, “Yes. That’s exactly what I wanted.”

He must believe me because he doesn’t ask again. After a few more minutes, he rolls off me, turning me onto my side so he can spoon me from behind.

We both fall asleep like that.