Chapter 14

14

We both sleep through the night. A couple of times I come to half consciousness and lift my head groggily, but as soon as I assure myself of Mack sleeping beside me, I drift right off again.

It’s still dark in the room and outside the curtains when I wake up for real. My head is slightly foggy, and I have a few torn muscles from the day before, but overall I feel good.

Really good.

Better than I’ve felt in ages.

Like an oppressive weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders.

I lay in the dark for a few minutes, trying to decide if my full bladder is a strong enough compulsion to get up and use the outhouse. It’s not like in the cabin where I could run to the bathroom in bare feet and be back in bed in two minutes.

Since I can’t go back to sleep, I finally slide out of bed as discreetly as possible so as not to wake Mack. When he doesn’t move, I stick my feet in my shoes, grab my jacket and pistol, and head outside, hoping I don’t hit squeaky floorboards and wake the whole house.

Everything is dark and silent in the house and outside it. After I’ve peed and left the outhouse, I jerk in surprise when I see someone standing at the side door that leads to it.

It’s Mack wearing nothing but his trousers and holding a gun.

I shake my head at him as I hurry to him. “I was fine,” I whisper.

“Just making sure.” His familiar face is relaxed, and his dark eyes are warm. There are little crinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth. “I gotta go too, so cover me while I’m in there.”

I blink. Then realize he’s teasing. I giggle. “You got it.”

He strides over to the outhouse and isn’t in there long. But I do keep my eyes open, scanning our surroundings to make sure there’s no sign of threat.

When he returns to me, he’s smiling. We walk back inside, locking and bolting the door behind us. We make it back to our bedroom without anyone else waking up.

I wash my hands and face in the basin and then decide to brush my teeth too. Mack has been shucking his trousers, but he pauses, completely naked, to watch me as I finish up.

“What?” I ask, glancing at him over my shoulder.

“Nothin’.” He’s always had a faint Southern accent, but it’s stronger than normal at the moment. “Just wondering why you might need minty-fresh breath at the moment.”

That makes me giggle too. I don’t answer. When I’m done brushing, I climb back into my side of the bed and smile at him.

He does a quick brush of his own teeth and then joins me. My eyes have adjusted to the dark room enough that I can see he’s partly erect as I get under the covers.

“How do you feel today?” I ask him, rolling onto my side so I can see him better.

“Pretty good. Kinda horny.”

I can’t seem to stop giggling. It’s obviously his intention, but it’s also some sort of overflow of giddiness. Joy. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this.

I wonder if I ever have.

“I mean after yesterday,” I explain, trying to rein in the laughter.

“I knew what you meant,” he murmurs, scooting closer. “And I told you the real answer. I feel good. Better than I thought I’d ever feel again.”

I make a little sound in my throat even though I’m still smiling at him. When he leans over to press a sweet kiss on my mouth, I return it, playing lightly with his beard as our lips move together. “Me too,” I say into the kiss.

Very gently he strokes my messy hair. Then my back. Then my bottom. He’s still kissing me when he murmurs, “Good. Then turn over.”

It’s the disconnect between his tender touch and the gruff authority of his tone. It momentarily stumps me. “Wh-what?”

“You heard me. Turn over.”

My mind finally catches up, and both my heart and my pussy clench in excitement. I roll over onto my stomach. “We’ll need to be quiet. Don’t want to wake the house.”

“I can be quiet.” His voice is thick. Deliciously hot. “Can you?”

“I think so.”

“That hasn’t been my experience with you recently.”

I sniff. “Well, I haven’t been trying.”

“And you’re going to try now?”

“Yes. I’ll be quiet.” Despite the discussion—or maybe because of it—I’m shaking slightly with anticipation. My skin has gotten hot, and an ache is growing between my legs. And all I’m doing is lying on my stomach, halfway under the covers. Mack hasn’t even touched me yet.

“Good.” He draws back the covers slowly, baring my body to the air. I don’t know how much he can really see, but it feels like he’s staring at me hungrily.

“Mack,” I say at last when he still doesn’t move .

“Yes?”

“Aren’t you going to do something?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You know.”

“Do I?”

“Yes. I didn’t think you were the type to play games.”

It feels like he’s smiling when he gathers my hair into his hand and moves it off my back. Then he leans down and presses a lingering kiss on the nape of my neck. “Sometimes games can be fun.”

“Fun for you maybe.” I don’t know exactly why I’m challenging him. I’m so aroused now I can barely lie still, and everything he says and does only works me up even further. My fingers move restlessly against the fitted sheet. My breath keeps catching in my throat.

“Oh, I think you’re having fun too.” Very slowly—tortuously slow—he pushes up my gown and kisses his way down the line of my spine, pausing occasionally to breathe hotly against my skin.

Goose bumps break out all over, and I make a tiny, helpless sound when he reaches the small of my back.

“Seems like you’re having fun now,” he murmurs thickly.

It takes a few seconds more for me to catch my breath and clear the gravel from my throat. “Kind of cold without any covers on.”

“Uh-huh.” He rubs his face and beard against my ass. “I don’t think that’s what the goose bumps are from. ”

“Wh-what do you… know?” I’m really struggling now to act nonchalant. I’m dying to squirm my hips, rub my clit against the bed.

He chuckles softly. “What do I know? If that is as clever a comeback as you can manage at the moment, then I think I’m doing pretty well.”

I try to give his comment the dry response it deserves, but he’s lifted my butt and adjusted the position of my knees so my bottom is in the air. I moan shamelessly as intense arousal pulses through me.

“Shh. You said you could be quiet.” There’s still a faint edge of laughter in his tone, and it makes the whole thing even hotter.

“I am being quiet. If you wouldn’t torture me so much, it would be easier.”

He’s mouthing his way along the curve of my ass and then down the back of one thigh and then the other.

I clutch at the sheet beneath me and moan again, making an effort to keep it softer but somehow making it louder.

He straightens up. Reaches around to cover my mouth with his big hand. And at the same time he feels my pussy with the fingers of his other hand.

I groan uninhibitedly into his palm, relieved that I don’t have to soften the sound myself. Because I can’t. Everything inside me needs to be loud .

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Mack asks in that low, sexy voice. “Now you can let go like you want. ”

“Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.” When he slides two fingers inside my wet pussy, it feels so good I want to scream. Instead, I keep mumbling “Mm-hmm” against his palm, the sound wet and stifled enough to not be heard outside our room.

“I know you like it when I take you this way. I can feel how much you like it because your hot little pussy is holdin’ on to my fingers so tightly.”

I clench around the penetration as his words work me up even further. He’s not even thrusting his hand. Just holding it still with the fingers inside me. And it feels like I’m falling apart.

“That’s right. You’re doing good now. You need this real bad. You need to let go.”

I’m gasping and slobbering and whimpering against his hand as an orgasm is somehow tightening at my core from nothing more than the way he’s talking to me.

“You’re gonna come so hard. I can feel it coming. You can scream into my hand if you need to. I’ve got you. I won’t let you be too loud.”

I’m almost sobbing now, my body shaking helplessly as I try to shake my bottom and ride his still motionless fingers. I try to say his name, but it comes out as a muffled, “Mk.”

He knows what I’m trying to say. “Yes. It’s me. I’m doing this for you. I’m making you feel this good. I always want you to feel this good.”

And that’s it for me. My pussy spasms around his fingers as pleasure slams into me in deep waves. He finally starts pumping his fingers, pushing against the contractions until another climax crests on the heels of the first. I keep crying out as the sensations don’t let up, the shameless sound of it only stifled by his big hand against my mouth.

He’s talking me through it the whole time. “There you go. That’s what you need. I love seeing you let go so much. You’re so good, angel. So good.”

When the pleasure has finally faded to the occasional little afterquake, he finally draws his hand back, releasing my mouth. There’s moisture on his palm and somehow all over my face. His fingers are still inside me, but they’re still again.

“There. How do you feel now?”

All I can manage is a wordless whimper.

“That’s what I thought.”

His smugness really needs to be put in its place, but I have neither the will nor the ability to do so at the moment. My body feels incredibly good and is tingling all over, even as I’m still poised with my naked bottom in the air, exposed to the cool room. “Thank you,” is all I manage to breathe out.

“You’re welcome. I loved doing that for you. Now when you’re ready, I want you to turn back over so you can take me in your mouth.”

His words evoke another clench of hot excitement. I take a couple more deep breaths and roll over onto my back, staring up at him expectantly.

He positions himself over me, basically straddling my face so he can ease his hard cock into my mouth. He holds on to the headboard to keep himself stable as I eagerly start to suck around his thick shaft.

He releases a thick groan, but it’s still soft enough to be safe in our current circumstances. So I reach up to hold on to his hips and lift my head enough to move him in and out of my mouth as I apply hard suction.

“Yes,” he hisses, his thigh muscles tensing and his belly shuddering. The bed is squeaking slightly from our motion but not loud enough to be a problem. “Just like that, angel. That’s what I need. You’re what I need. Exactly like this.”

I’m as thrilled as I’ve ever been by his uninhibited responses and his allowing me to take him this way. I can give him what he needs. I’m doing it right now. Nothing has ever made me feel more powerful.

He doesn’t last very long. He comes hard, biting back another hoarse groan, and his cock spasms in my mouth as he releases in several spurts.

I’m still swallowing as I keep sucking him through the aftershocks. He’s letting out hoarse sighs of satisfaction as he rocks his hips.

Then he finally pulls back. I let his softening shaft slip out of my mouth and smile up at him.

He smiles back, readjusting so he can kiss me .

I respond just as eagerly as I sucked his cock, and we end up kissing for a really long time, tangling our tongues together and stroking each other all over.

When I feel him getting hard again, my body responds in turn. And when he tells me to turn over on my hands and knees, I’m ready. Excited and aroused and so incredibly tender.

He pulls my butt cheeks apart and slides his cock into my pussy. We both moan softly as he fits himself in.

I look back at him over my shoulder. It’s still mostly dark in the room, so I might be wrong, but I’d swear there’s the hottest kind of possessiveness on his face as he gazes down at me as he kneels behind me.

“You really want this?” he asks, a different note in his tone than I’ve heard yet this morning.

“Yes. I want this. Exactly this. You.”

He chokes on another groan as he starts to thrust. “Me too. I want you, Anna. Always, only you.”

Nothing he could have said would have made me feel better, more fully myself.

I’m pretty far gone, but I do remember to stifle the volume of my vocal responses as he starts to really fuck me from behind.

He’s panting but obviously trying to be as quiet as me. The problem is the bed is really squeaking now. As his motion accelerates, the squeaking gets louder and louder.

Someone out in the hallway might be able to hear it .

He must realize what I do because he suddenly slows down his fucking with an anguished groan.

It halts the momentum of my pleasure too. I whimper and look back at him again.

“Fuck,” he gasps, gripping my hip with one of his hands as he tries to establish a new, gentler rhythm. I push my butt back against his thrusts to help him.

It doesn’t last long. Soon he’s really giving it to me again, and the bed starts groaning with the same carnal tempo of our fucking.

It’s so loud in the dark, silent house, and Mack’s attempts to hold himself back are so tortured that a slice of humor suddenly cuts through me.

I giggle. Then am embarrassed by it so I stifle it against one of my forearms.

Mack pauses, still buried inside me.

Then without warning, he starts to laugh too, his whole body shaking with his unexpected amusement.

My giggles change into helpless hilarity, so much that I can’t hold my position any longer. His cock slips out of me as we both collapse with laughter.

He pulls me into his arms, warm and strong and laughing and Mack , and, for some reason, my laughter gets mingled with tears.

Mack doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses me and wipes away my tears, and he murmurs how much he loves me and always will.

We do eventually finish our interrupted sex—having to move to the area rug on the floor to prevent the bed from being too loud from our enthusiasm—but that isn’t the best part of the morning for me.

Nothing will ever rival laughing with Mack that way.

Mack and I stay with the Carlsons for the next week so we can help them around the farm.

Ben gains strength faster than anyone could have hoped, but his leg is basically unusable. It’s going to be a long time before he’s able to do any of the farmwork, if he ever can at all. Chloe and Jimmy have to return to their own homestead, as they have chickens and pigs who won’t make it if left too long alone. So Mack and I help Greta cover the chores. They always have several people staying in their bunkrooms who help as well, and their neighbors are happy to lend a hand, so even after Mack and I leave, Ben and Greta will probably be okay to keep the farm running.

It’s kind of scary how one injury can threaten the well-being of an entire family, but farming takes a lot of work. Without Ben in full form, it’s going to be harder for them all.

So Mack and I do what we can to take the load off for a week. The delay is just as well. Mack hasn’t said anything about what he wants to do from here, and I’m a bit nervous to ask him for fear it might apply pressure .

We’re together now. It’s not just temporary. That’s the main thing I need to know. He can have time if he needs it to work everything else out.

The wait isn’t even hard for me. I’m so happy as I go through the chores and routines of each day that I find myself humming and reciting poetry to myself—something I haven’t done since Impact.

Maria’s crew has been sticking around too, dealing with the folks they captured (not very many) and patrolling the area to make sure there will be no retaliation or resistance.

There’s nothing. The gangs are still around, but their unity has been shattered. So they’ve mostly holed up, hiding out and licking their wounds and staying well within their territory at the border. They’ve lost their stockpile of supplies and gasoline, so they’re going to have to focus on survival for a long time rather than expanding territory.

That’s how it was for years after Impact before someone got ambitious and started gathering forces. It was mostly stable for a long time, and their presence didn’t significantly affect the well-being of the nearby farming communities. Maybe it would be nice to think we could get rid of the bad guys completely and make the region even safer, but that’s not a realistic goal.

Even Maria understands that.

The threat has been handled as well as it’s going to be handled with our current resources and manpower. The work Maria organized is nothing short of a miracle in this area, and everyone who lives here knows it.

It’s the seventh day after the attack when Maria decides things are safe enough for them to leave. They’ve still been camping in one of the Carlsons’ pastures, and Mack and I have been hanging out with the women a lot in our downtime.

So it’s a little disappointing that they’re ready to leave. I’ll miss them. Once they’re gone, Mack and I will be all that’s left here of the folks from out east.

I wonder if that means it will be time for us to get moving too.

I don’t bring up the topic although it’s on my mind as Mack and I are lounging against the big tree near the campfire that evening. The sun is low near the horizon and painting the gray-blue sky with purple and pink streaks.

It’s beautiful. And a little bit sad.

I wouldn’t be able to articulate why.

Mack’s got his arm slung around me. He’s nearly always touching me when we’re next to each other now.

The women are telling stories of their adventures over the past year, and most of them are new to me and Mack, so we listen with interest. Mack is laughing a lot as he sips his beer—from a case we salvaged from the border and that Maria broke out for their last night here. His body is warm despite the cool temperature of the air and the ground we’re seated on, and he’s shaking with amusement.

I snuggle into him, craving the feel of him this way like I used to crave sugar and caffeine.

Rose’s shoulder is healing well. She still has to move carefully, but she’s hoping for it to not cause her a lot of issues long-term. She’s finishing her tale of how they rescued a mother and children from a man who just barged into their house one day and took over, demanding they feed and take care of him and exerting his will through a loaded weapon. Although it’s a terrible thing to have happened, she’s made it clear from the beginning that the story ends well. She concludes by describing how, when they were getting him out of the house, the kids all rallied and pelted him with garbage from their compost heap.

Mack bursts out with more laughter at the description, and I catch Maria watching him with an unusually soft expression. When she meets my gaze, she gives me a quick flicker of a smile, and I know what it means.

She’s almost as happy as I am that Mack is himself again.

Fortunately he doesn’t see our silent interaction since it might have made him self-conscious. But he nuzzles the side of my head afterward as if he might have sensed something of what I’m feeling.

“You’re not getting sappy, are you?” he murmurs against my ear .

I turn my head and beam up at him. “Never.”

It’s not the truth, and both of us know it, but he doesn’t argue with my claim.

His brown skin flickers with orange and gold from the fire. He hasn’t shaved for a while, so there’s a dark stubble of hair on his scalp. His beard, as usual, is a rumpled mess, and he dripped a few spots of grease on his shirt from the pork ribs we had for dinner.

And he’s probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life.

We get up early the next morning so we can see Maria and her women off. They always leave at dawn, so we have to get to their camp even earlier.

We don’t chat or distract them as they pack up. It’s a quick, efficient process. They travel light and carry everything on their backs. We stand to the side and wait until they’re ready to leave.

Then we wave and say goodbye as they file past us in typical orderly formation. I wink at Langley and squeeze Rose’s hand as she passes. The women are all in good spirits, calling out goodbyes and hopes that they’ll see us soon.

Maria follows at the very end, and she pauses to speak to us briefly .

“You know your plans yet?” she asks, uncharacteristically discreet in her inquiry.

I shake my head before Mack can feel uncomfortable. “Not yet. We’ll figure it out though.”

“Good. Don’t stay away too long.” Her mouth flicks up with an almost wistful smile. “Guess it’s time for you to settle down too.”

“It’s not the worst thing to do,” I say, squeezing Mack’s hand. “You never think about it?”

Maria stares like I’m speaking a long-dead language. “Think about what?”

“About settling down. Making yourself a home.”

She laughs, dry and relaxed and utterly confident. She shed her sling a couple of days ago, but her arm is still bandaged up. “You must be out of your minds. Why would I do that when I can have this?”

Both Mack and I are grinning at her, but she must see something else in our expressions. Because her tone sobers just slightly as she continues, “After Impact, I made a decision. If everything else is a shit show, then there’s no reason not to do exactly what I want with my life. So I did. I started traveling with a couple of friends, and we slowly added more. Until we became this.” She nods behind her at the women waiting.

She’s never been so open and vulnerable before. Not around me anyway. I’m strangely touched by her admission.

“Don’t you see?” she adds at last, just before she turns to rejoin her crew. “There’s nothing more I would wish for. This is my happy ending.”

She strides away, calling out a few directions as she moves to the front. The women fall in behind her as she starts to walk.

The sun glints off her dark hair as it rises, gradually brightening until it gilds the entire group with gold light as they disappear into the horizon.

The next day, Mack and I pack up and get on the ATV to return to the cabin in The Wild.

It was Mack’s idea. It worried me when he first suggested it, until he explained he left most of his stuff there and needs to go get it eventually. And while we’re there, maybe we can figure out what we’re going to do from here.

After that’s made clear, I’m happy and excited about returning to the cabin. I miss it a little even though I only spent a couple of months there. And it will definitely help for Mack and me to have some space to be alone so we can work out what we want from the rest of our lives.

He’s not in the same place he was when I found him chopping wood two months ago. He’s not going to want to hide away forever. I’m still hesitant about cornering him with direct questions. I don’t want him to feel any pressure about our relationship—or anything else. At least no more than he still always places on himself. But I’m hopeful. He’s going to want to go home eventually.

Maybe even soon.

We get through the border region without a single incident. We spot some guys in the distance at one point. It looks like they’re just hanging out. We ignore them and keep moving, and they don’t react to us in any way. They don’t even raise their weapons. So it’s not long before we reach the old parking lot next to the visitor’s center that leads to our trail through the Wild.

The drive is easy. Pleasant even. We don’t see anyone at all until we reach the fork. There, exactly where I found Gandalf on my first arrival, is a woman all alone, lying under a heavy tree branch.

Maybe we’ve gone soft. Gotten used to the relative safety of the farms in the past week. But Mack slows down immediately, and I jump off without hesitation so I can run over to help.

I should know better. We both should. But things have felt settled and secure since we got together for real, like the worst of the danger should be over.

But we still live in the world. And The Wild has never been safe.

And this is undoubtedly a trap for the most gullible of travelers. Evidently today that’s us.

Before I can reach the prostrate woman, a man steps out from behind a thick tree. The woman isn’t armed, but he is. And he lifts his pistol, aiming it unwaveringly at the largest threat.

That’s Mack, of course.

I can’t even take a breath before he’s pulled the trigger, firing directly at Mack.

I act on pure instinct. Not because I’ve thought it through in even the slightest of ways. This stranger is shooting a gun at Mack, and Mack will always—always, always —be mine.

So I jump right at the man, blocking Mack from the bullet that would have killed him.

Unfortunately that means the bullet hits me instead.