Chapter Twenty

RYAN REACHEDacross the console for Dylan’s hand. Tonight would be the first time they spent an evening with anyone as a couple. It was only dinner with his friends Jason and Joy, but for Ryan it was a big deal. He was more eager than nervous.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” A thread of worry sounded in Dylan’s voice.

“I trust Jason and Joy. They understand better than anyone that we aren’t ready to go public yet.”

“I still can’t believe you’re friends with Jason Anderson. I mean, he’s performed at the Grammys. How did you meet him?”

“We met at a charity function the Seattle Emeralds hold every year.”

“The Emeralds are soccer, right?”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, Seattle is a big soccer town. Jason’s brother Nick plays for the Emeralds, and Nick’s wife, Holly, works at Children’s hospital with Joy.”

“One big happy family,” Dylan said with a wistful smile.

“Do you have a lot of friends in LA? You’ve mentioned your friends Alexis and her husband. Who else do you hang out with?”

“A few other teachers and some regulars at the pool.” Dylan shrugged. “I keep my circle pretty small.”

Ryan shifted in his seat. “Does that go for boyfriends too?”

The corner of Dylan’s mouth curled up. “Jealous?”

Ryan brushed his thumb over Dylan’s knuckles. “Maybe a little bit. I’m not sure I’ve ever been jealous before, so I don’t know if that’s the feeling I have.”

“Describe it to me?”

“Well, I get a knot in my stomach when I think about you seeing someone else. And I know it’s selfish, but I want to be the only one who gets to see the sparkle in your eyes when you laugh and know how soft your lips are under mine.”

Dylan’s eyes widened, his smile growing bigger. “Oh yeah, I have a jealous boyfriend.” He winced. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Boyfriend? I’m glad you did. I like it. There’s one problem, though.” Dylan gave him a worried frown. “Hearing you call me your boyfriend makes me want to pull this car over and get you naked.”

Dylan’s breath quickened. “Maybe before we go back home?”

“Or maybe we can find someplace better,” he said with a wink.

Ryan definitely had plans for Dylan after dinner. Something for the libido he’d wondered if he’d even had. Dylan had awoken something in him, and now every part of his body felt alive to the point where it was almost physically painful. The kisses and touches they’d shared weren’t enough. The idea of being naked with Dylan, touching every inch of his body, was keeping Ryan awake at night and distracted during the day.

An hour later, Ryan watched Dylan talking to Joy about kayaking. They’d had dinner on their deck overlooking the lake. Ryan could see his house on the other side. Even from this distance and illuminated by lights, it still looked stark and imposing.

A couple of hours later, he watched Dylan laughing with Joy at one of Jason’s stories from his last tour. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to sit and relax with friends like this.

“Are you up for a nightcap?” Ryan asked as they pulled away from Jason and Joy’s house.

Dylan turned his face to him, a faint smile playing on his lips. “I’m up for anything with you.”

Instead of heading for home, Ryan sped toward the glow of downtown Seattle’s city lights. “I have somewhere special I want to take you.”

Ryan pulled into a parking space in front of a brick building at the north end of the downtown core. The six floors of the vintage building were dark. Ryan had meant to rent them after the last tenant moved out, but Lindsay’s death and Leo’s illness put it low on his priority list.

“Trust me.” Ryan smiled, seeing the wary look in Dylan’s eyes as he entered a code into the keypad and opened the front door. “This was my first big purchase when Blackstone Financial took off,” Ryan said, using a key card to send the elevator to the top floor. “This was our original corporate headquarters. I used the lower floors for office space and lived up here.” The elevator doors opened to reveal an expansive loft space.

The double-height windows showcased a view of Puget Sound. A kitchen with a large island took up one corner, with a living room space in another. The loft was everything Ryan’s home wasn’t. An eclectic mix of vintage pieces melded with modern ones. Brown, warm shades of red, and gold blended with exposed brick. Instead of stark white, cream walls and maple cabinets made the space feel warm and cozy. On the other side of the room, a simple, modern black metal bed frame sat against the wall facing the windows and the view of the water. A small chest of drawers served as a nightstand, its polished wood gleaming in the soft lamplight. Ryan stood by and watched Dylan explore the space.

Ryan pointed to the only doorway in the room. “Bathroom and closet are through there.”

“This is amazing. It’s so different from your house,” Dylan said.

“You didn’t want to make love in the same bed I shared with Lindsay. You had every right to feel that way. I didn’t listen to others when they told me to give up this place after getting married, and now I know why. I want to explore every inch of your body, to feel the warmth and texture of your skin, and to truly know what it’s like to be with you in every way. So I brought you here. I thought this could be a place we could be together. Can we make this a special place that’s just for us?”

DYLAN SEARCHEDRyan’s face, looking for any sign of hesitation, and found only his own face reflected in the depths of Ryan’s eyes. Yes, he wanted to spend the night but…. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Ryan cupped his cheek, breathing in as he pressed his lips to Dylan’s. Ryan’s kisses had become his addiction.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything as I am of the way I feel about you.” Ryan nuzzled Dylan’s neck, kissing the pulse at the base of his throat before returning to his lips again.

When Ryan broke the kiss, Dylan was so dazed it took him a minute before he realized Ryan was asking him a question.

“What?”

Ryan brushed his thumb over Dylan’s bottom lip. “I asked if this is what you want?”

“I—” His face heated. “I tried not to, but I can’t stop the feelings I have. But I…. Our families will not accept this. Us. I don’t want to ruin your life. This will change everything. This isn’t only about us. It’s about our families, Leo, your friends—”

“No.” Ryan stopped him. “This is only us in this moment. What happens next”—he shrugged—“whatever it is, we’ll face those changes together.” Ryan wrapped his hand around the back of Dylan’s neck, pulling him even closer until their faces were a breath apart. “You aren’t going to ruin my life. I was only living a half-life until you came into it. The day I met you, something shifted. I felt a spark. It was the feeling I’d heard about but never felt. Each day I got to know you, that feeling grew. Leo showed me what it meant to love someone unconditionally, but you showed me what it felt like to desire someone, to want to be with someone so much that you ache. Making me feel this way isn’t ruining my life—it’s making my life whole and complete.”

He was falling. Dylan swallowed, blinking back his tears. He was tumbling head over heels. It was too much. All he’d ever wanted was to have someone feel about him the way Ryan did. To say the words that he was saying to him. Now that it was happening, his own need to claim Ryan as his overwhelmed him. He looked down at his hands wrapped around Ryan’s waist. He couldn’t let go.

He kissed Ryan, pouring everything he was feeling into kissing him, his hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. Dylan reveled in the low hum in the back of Ryan’s throat when his fingers dipped into the waistband of his pants.

Ryan walked them backward toward the bed until Dylan’s legs hit the mattress. His fingers fumbled with the buttons on Dylan’s shirt. “Every time I’ve watched you swim, I’ve wondered what it would be like to touch you, to feel these muscles under my hands.”

Dylan shuddered as Ryan slipped his shirt off his shoulders, the palms of his hands caressing his skin. He unbuttoned the first button on Ryan’s shirt and hesitated. “Can I?”

Ryan popped the rest of the buttons and wrenched the shirt off, throwing it toward the corner of the room. He grabbed Dylan’s hands, placing them against the coarse hair on his chest as a low moan vibrated from his throat.

Ryan hesitated. “How do you want this to work?”

“What do you mean?”

“Some men like to top, and some—”

Dylan held up his hands. “Stop. I’ll make this simple. I usually bottom, but I don’t mind topping every once in a while. You’ve never done this before, so you might not know until you’ve….”

“You’re right. I’ve never made love to a man before. All my life I’ve had people telling me what I think and what my feelings are. I don’t want to put definitions on what we do or who we are supposed to be when we’re in bed together. I want everything with you.” Ryan laughed softly, burying his face in Dylan’s neck. “This is the most intimate conversation I’ve ever had with a man or a woman.”

“I’m glad you feel safe enough to have it with me.”

Ryan looked up at Dylan with a sheepish smile. “Can we get naked now?”

Dylan responded by popping the button on Ryan’s jeans and opening his fly. Ryan pushed his jeans down, toeing off his shoes simultaneously. Before Dylan could get his fingers into the waistband of Ryan’s briefs, Ryan was on his knees, yanking Dylan’s jeans and briefs down together.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about wanting to do this,” he said, pulling Dylan’s cock into his mouth, caressing the underside of his shaft with his tongue as his fingers traced the line of hair from his belly button to the thatch of hair at his groin.

“Oh God,” Dylan groaned. He meant to be gentle, but his fingers dug into Ryan’s hair, holding him as his hips flexed.

It was too much. Spots danced in front of his eyes and his balls drew tight. He pulled back, and Ryan’s mouth released him with a soft pop. Ryan stared up at him with a dazed, confused look.

Dylan brushed his thumb over Ryan’s bottom lip. “You’re going to make me come, and I want this to last.”

He put his arms around Ryan’s waist and pulled them both down onto the bed. A low moan escaped him feeling Ryan’s weight on top of him. Dylan wrapped his legs around Ryan, aligning their cocks.

Ryan grunted and thrust against him. Dylan took it as a sign and was totally on board, wanting to feel Ryan inside of him. He wanted this to happen. He’d even prepped for tonight. He was prepared to sneak off to the movie room again, but this was a much better option.

“Do you have lube?” he asked.

Ryan opened the top drawer of the dresser and fumbled for a second before pulling out a bottle of lube.

Dylan leaned in. “Open me up,” he whispered in Ryan’s ear.

He closed his eyes, listening to the bottle open. A second later, he felt Ryan’s slick finger teasing his entrance. Ryan traced a line of kisses down his neck and over Dylan’s pecs, flicking his tongue over his nipples as he opened him up. Impatience and need hummed under his skin, and he reached between them for Ryan’s cock, which slid through the palm of Dylan’s hand, slick with precum.

Ryan hissed and thrust his hips. “Can I, can we do this bare?” he panted.

Dylan pulled his knees up. “Yes,” he said in a low, strained voice. The first time they were together in the movie room, they’d discussed their status. Dylan had never been bare with anyone before, but he wanted this with Ryan. He wanted every minute, each touch, and the feel of Ryan’s cock inside of him imprinted on his memory.

Ryan let out a low keening sound of pleasure as he pushed inside, filling Dylan.

Dylan reveled in every thrust. He pressed his hand to Ryan’s chest, feeling his heart pounding and matching the rhythm of his own lunges around Ryan’s cock with it.

Nothing would ever be the same after this. His heartbeat was now in sync with Ryan’s and it couldn’t be untethered.

“Oh fuck,” Ryan shouted.

Ryan captured Dylan’s cries with a searing kiss as they both reached their climax. He collapsed on top of Dylan, their bodies sliding against each other, slick with sweat and cum.

“That was….” Ryan sighed and kissed the shell of Dylan’s ear.

“Everything,” Dylan finished for him.

“Everything.” Ryan kissed him.

Gentle kisses became urgent touches that led to the two of them jerking each other off. Eventually they ended up in the shower and then back in bed with Dylan lying against Ryan’s side, his legs tangled with Ryan’s and his head resting on his chest.

“Thank you,” Ryan said, his voice thick with emotion.

“What are you thanking me for?”

Ryan turned on his side so they were face-to-face. “Thank you for letting me be me. For making my first time making love to a man perfect.”

Dylan draped his arm over Ryan’s waist and leaned forward, nuzzling his nose. “Nothing is ever perfect. We’re just… us. We’re a match. Against all odds, we found each other. It’s wonderful and amazing. I don’t want perfect. I want you.”

Ryan smiled against his lips. “You’ve got me.”