Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

RORY

The nerve of him.

I want to kick him. No, I want to scratch his eyes out. Who the hell does he think he is? Telling me that he’s going to cuff me to his bed and punish me.

Please, like he can do anything that hasn’t already been done to me. Roger made sure of it. The worst thing he ever did was get his hands on a drug called Heavenly Rose. The horrible drug actually did make me sex-crazed. That is, until it nearly killed me. He’d given me so much at one time, wanting to see what it would do to me, and he learned quickly my body couldn’t take it.

Going through the withdrawal of that vile creation, I think was even worse, and Roger had gotten on the whole thing. He laughed and even played his sick, twisted games while I’d been detoxing from the stuff.

It was horrible. But it’s just all part of the nightmare that’s been my life since just before I turned nineteen.

“Hello, earth to Rory,” Cordelia states, waving a hand in my face.

Hours have passed since Aries brought me back, and still, all I keep thinking about is what he said to me. Mace told him to hold off on his interrogation, and I’m honestly thankful for the reprieve. Though, I would prefer not to have to deal with being interrogated at all.

I don’t need this. None of it.

I screwed up. I know I did when I told Cordy to drive to Aries. I’d only meant for her to get to him so she’d be safe. I’d be on my own. I could handle that. What I couldn’t handle was if something happened to her.

It’s why I need to get away from her. To leave before anything can happen to her or to Aries.

Roger will come at them if he finds out or even guesses that I’m here.

“Rory,” Cordelia snaps me out of my thoughts, “you okay?”

Blinking, I nod. “Yeah, sorry, was zoned out.”

“I can tell,” Cordy says, brows drawn together, the look of concern taking over her solemn features. “Why don’t you talk about it.”

I shake my head at the very suggestion. I can’t talk about it. Not now. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t talk about it at all. Unfortunately, my luck has never been that good, and Aries is going to make me talk.

“I can’t.”

“You can, you just don’t want to,” Cordy corrects me, rolling her eyes. “You need to trust Aries with the truth. Explain to him what happened. Tell him what he needs to know. He does have a right to know what happened and why you did what you did.”

I know he does, but I don’t want to bring up something that should be put in the past, once and for all. Left behind in a dark corner and never thought of again.

“Just leave it be, Cordy. Please. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Nor do I want to think about it.” I was still hurting and just wanted to go back to sleep. The shut eye I managed to catch at the seedy motel wasn’t enough. I don’t think I’d be able to sleep enough if I wanted to.

“I’m not going to leave it be.” Cordy huffs, getting to her feet. Her body ramrod straight, fists balled at the sides. “I’m sick of keeping this secret, Rory. I promised you I wouldn’t say a word, but I’m betraying my brother for not telling him.”

“Not telling me what?”

Both of us jerk at the sound of Aries’s voice.

“What are you doing sneaking up on us like that, big brother?” Cordelia demands, planting her hands on her hips. “You know Momma taught you better than to listen in on a conversation that doesn’t pertain to you.”

“Cordy, you know better than to try and pull that with me.” Aries snorts, giving her a look of amusement. “As for this conversation, it has plenty to do with me.” Shifting his gaze to me, he loses the amusement altogether. “How about you go ahead and leave Rory and me to finish this conversation, Cordy.”

I suck in a breath and don’t let it go as Cordy shuffles past Aries, sensing that he’s no longer playing with her. Or anyone else. He wants answers.

“Breathe, Rory,” he orders gruffly the very second the door closes behind his sister.

I do as he says and look away from him. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Really? Seems Cordy thinks so.”

“Of course, she does. She didn’t like that I broke up with you and wants me to fix that.” There’s no fixing what I broke. I don’t say this, though. Instead, I square my shoulders and brace for what I’m about to say. “I said all I needed to say in that letter I sent. There’s nothing else to share. We’re done. I’m done. And if you don’t let me go, I’ll . . . I’ll scream.”

“You’ll scream? Who do you think will listen?” Aries outright laughs and takes on a stance that screams out ‘Don’t fuck with me’. “You need to think again, Scamp, if you think that letter said everything you needed to say. You’ve got a lot to answer for, and your time is up. No more avoiding the talk we’re about to have. You got your reprieve earlier. Now, explain to me what the fuck Cordy meant. Better yet, how about you start with the very beginning and give it to me straight.”

Give it to him straight?

I can’t do that.

He wouldn’t understand.

How could he?

For all I know, he’ll hate me even more than he already does.

Without thinking, I scoot to the edge of the bed, get to my feet, brace myself for what I’m about to do, and prepare to make a quick exit to the only space available for me to hide. The entire time I do this, I can feel his gaze on me.

Watching. Assessing.

Finally, positioning myself where I want to be, I stand strong, head high, and give it to him. “You left for basic training, and everything was fine. I missed you every day. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was going to surprise you. I had everything planned out. Then Roger found out. He forced me to miscarry and said if I didn’t start doing as he said, he’d make sure you were next. That you died. If I didn’t give him what he wanted. He . . . Roger threatened to kill you because you were going to ruin all his big plans. So there. Happy?”

As quickly as I could, I pivoted and rushed for the bathroom, barely slamming the door and locking it before my legs gave out underneath me, and I sank to the floor. My heart breaking all over again at bringing up the child I lost. The one I wanted with all my heart. That little baby was stolen from me right along with everything else in my life I’ve ever wanted.