Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

ARIES

Storming out of the clubhouse, I don’t bother saying a word to anyone. There’s no way I could if I wanted to. More emotions than I’d like to think about course through me. I can’t stay in there any longer. If I do, I’ll lose my fucking mind.

I don’t think as I jump on the back of my bike. I needed to get the hell out of there. I needed to think. I needed to not think. I needed those words out of my mind before I did something stupid. The last thing I need is to fuck something without thinking it through.

“Hold up,” Viper shouts, rushing in my direction. Wolf and Cyprus are right behind him. “The fuck are you doing?”

“I gotta get out of here for a bit, Prez,” I tell him and lift the kickstand. “Need to clear my head.”

“Not until you tell me what the fuck happened,” Viper states.

“Can’t talk about it right now.” If I do, I’ll lose it.

“Prez, I’ll go with him,” Wolf remarks, moving to his bike next to mine. “I’ll watch his back.”

“You make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” Viper orders and watches me closely. “Kevlar’s on the way back from Colorado with Rosemary. I’ll tell him to meet up with the two of you when he gets back here.”

“Kevlar doesn’t need to do that shit,” I grind out. He’s my best friend. More like family and has had enough bullshit with what happened with Rosemary. I don’t need him coming back to get involved in this shit. “I just need to get the fuck out of here for a while. That’s it.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Viper snarls. “You know we watch each other’s backs. And without knowing what the fuck is going on with you, we’re not letting you out without others at your back.”

“You know the club’s saying, brother,” Wolf adds in.

“Fuck, man, it’s not like I need a babysitter. I just need to get the fuck out of here for a bit.”

“Why don’t y’all go ahead and head out for the shipment we needed to take care of. Make sure the warehouse is secure. Kevlar, Dutch, and the others can meet y’all there tomorrow. Mateo’s got the first shipment coming in for us. Better to be on the safe side with this shit. It’ll also give Aries the time he needs to get his head right,” Cyprus suggests, brows drawn together, eyes watching me closely.

“Fine,” I grunt, nodding, wanting this conversation over with so I could get the fuck out of there. I needed the open road to help clear my head.

We handled some other business since moving here, but this would be the first one for Mateo. If it weren’t for Cyprus’s ol’ lady being his cousin, we probably wouldn’t have created the alliance we did with him and his cartel, but regardless, we did. Mateo isn’t too bad to work with. He has values similar to those of the club, so I guess I can respect that.

Viper agrees and steps back, eyes going to Wolf and then back to me. “We’ll keep an eye on Rory ‘til you get back.”

“She tries to leave, chain her ass to my bed,” I tell him, deadly serious. I’m not about to let her run off while I’m trying to get my head wrapped around the shit she shared. It doesn’t seem like much, but it still was.

“She won’t be going anywhere, brother, promise you that.” Viper grunts.

Nodding, I start my bike, back out of my spot, straighten, and hit the throttle, ready to hit the road.

The shipment wasn’t expected to come in for another week. That was okay with me. I’m good with being away for that long. Gives me time to think. Get my head right where Rory’s concerned. It’s gutting me that she’d been pregnant with my kid. Carrying a part of me inside her, only to lose it.

No, she didn’t lose it. Roger took it from her.

The anguish in her voice, the hurt she tried hard to hide as she stood strong against me, echoes in my head.

Mace had even told me, but I didn’t believe it was mine. For fuck’s sake she’d been through hell, and I didn’t even think about it. She’d broken up with me in a letter. A letter I know by heart. I still have the damn thing. I kept it as a reminder.

Aries,

By the time you’ve read this, I’ll be gone. I’m not coming back. We’re over. There’s no longer an us. We were lying to ourselves in thinking there could ever be. I wasted both of our time in being with you as it is. You need to go your way and me mine. I’m not the woman for you. Nor are you the man for me. What we had was a child’s love. I’ve found the man I was meant to be with.

Don’t contact me. Don’t come looking for me. I won’t be there. I don’t want anything to do with you. You need to move forward and leave the past in the past. We’re done, and that’s that.

If you try to find me, you’ll be disappointed. I won’t greet you with anything but disdain. And if I’m honest, I never truly loved you as I do the man who holds me.

So do us both a favor, forget about me.

Rory

I read that letter hundreds of times.

Knowing what I know now, it shouldn’t change things, but it does. I just don’t understand it. Not really.

I’m just hoping the open road will do me some good. Give me time to get my mind right where Rory is concerned.

If I don’t, I’ll end up hurting not just her, but myself in the long road.

“You good now, brother?” Wolf asks hours later.

We finally made it to the hotel we’re going to be staying at, not too far from the warehouse we have to check out. We probably could’ve stayed at the warehouse, but at least at a hotel, we know what to expect.

Next time, if we’ve gotta be early, it’ll probably be where we stay. With it still being a week out, there’s still the potential to end up going there and sleeping on who the fuck knows what.

“Not by a long shot,” I grunt, shaking my head, answering my brother’s question with the truth. I thought the ride would do me some good, but it didn’t.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Don’t need to talk about it,” This is something I fucking I didn’t want to talk about it. If I did, I’d probably end up losing it.

The more I rode, the faster I went, the more I thought. Several times, I thought about turning around and going back to see Rory and demand more answers. She answered a lot and left so much out in one statement. The questions keep circling in my head.

“Let’s get checked in and get some food. I’m starving,” Wolf suggests.

“I’m thinking of just ordering in. I need to make some phone calls,” I tell him. I need to find out some things, and there are only a few people who can answer them without me going to Rory. If I can get those answers, then I can put the shit out of my head until I get back to her.

The way I left wasn’t ideal, and, in all honesty, I don’t give a fuck if it hurt her more than she was already feeling. I was having to deal with all this for the first time, and she had no right to keep the fact she’d lost our kid.

“You’re gonna call Fox, aren’t you?”

Only a handful of people know about my brother, Fox, but only Wolf knows I have a way of contacting him. Fox disappeared off grid years ago. I hadn’t even seen him, but he reaches out every so often with a code that tells me he’s alive. It’s the only reason I let him keep himself off grid without finding his ass and beating the hell out of him for his disappearing act. I also know that when it comes to my little brother, he’s got a skill set that only a few know about. I need those skills. I also need to ask him what he remembers about Rory when I left for basic training.

“Yeah, I’m gonna call him,” I confirm.

“Right then, you make the call. I’ll check us in and order us a pizza.”

Nodding, I watch Wolf head for the hotel entrance, and I pull my phone out of my pocket along with the little metal tin case I keep my pre-rolled joints. I’m gonna need something to ease the rage flowing through my veins. I pull one of the joints out and put it to my lips.Scrolling through my contacts with one hand, I shove the case back in my pocket and pull my lighter out.

I find Fox’s number as I light the joint. On the first inhale, I touch the call icon and stare at the dark sky.

“This better be good for you to call me,” Fox answers after only the first ring, his voice harsher than I remember it being.

“What do you remember happened to Rory before she split?” I demand, getting right to my reason for calling.

“So, the rumor’s true. She’s at the clubhouse.” He snorts.

“Answer my question,” I tell him, not playing games.

“That’s something I’ll have to do in person. You at the clubhouse, or did you take off like you normally do when you get pissed?”

Damn, if my brother doesn’t know me so well.

“Left to go on a run for the club. She’s at the clubhouse under my brothers’ protection.”

“Keep her that way,” Fox orders and sighs. “Roger’s put out a bounty for her. He believes she’d go to you, but he’s smart enough not to come there himself.”

“Right,” I grunt and take another puff of the joint, “and let me guess, you took the bounty?”

“Of course, I did.” Fox sneers. “But not for the reasons you might be thinking. Send me the address where you’ll be. I’ll come to you.”

I give him the address to the hotel and know that come morning, he’ll be here if not before then. It’s been years since I’ve seen Fox, but he’ll know what I don’t, and I need him to give me the answers I’m looking for. If not, the battle waging inside me might win once and for all.