Chapter 7

7

“ H onour, we have to talk about it.”

“No, we don’t.” That was the last thing that Honour wanted to do. Hudson had left before dawn, and as soon as those herbs had hit her bloodstream, the burst of energy had compelled Honour to make as much of the trek back to Reine as possible.

She had to get out of there. She had to leave that cave and all the confusing feelings behind. She pushed her fluke down to pick up speed, because she knew they were close. For the first day, Kyree had kept silent about the whole Hudson-kissing debacle. But ever since they’d woken that morning, Kyree had pushed to have some kind of answer.

Honour refused to give one.

“Yes, we do.” Kyree snagged Honour’s wrist and pulled hard. “Please, before we get back there and there’s no time to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. She let us go. It worked. End of story.” Honour turned her entire body away from Kyree and tried to swim, but Kyree was so much bigger and stronger—at least right now.

Kyree flapped her fluke twice and tugged Honour right back to where she had been. “No, not end of story.”

“Yes. End of story.” Honour wasn’t going to live this one down. She didn’t want to talk about what had happened. And it wasn’t simple embarrassment. That would be easy to admit. It was because every moment of being in that cave was just as confusing as the next, and she hadn’t been able to sort through it yet.

Not that she ever would.

She’d avoid it as best as she could and pray to whatever gods Kyree believed in out there that they would never run into Hudson again.

“No.” Kyree flipped them, pinning Honour to the sandy bank underneath them.

Honour sucked in a sharp breath. Flashes of Hudson against her, the warm scales of her fluke, the roughness of her hardened nipples, the tension between fear and arousal that came back to back hit her one after the other. She could take Kyree in an instant, turn them over and pin Kyree under her. Kyree wasn’t a warrior. Her body wasn’t built for it. The only advantage she had was her size.

But Honour couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She couldn’t force herself to make Kyree leave.

Not when she’d been the pull toward reality and sanity that Honour had clung to each time Hudson had been in that cave with them.

“We need to talk about it,” Kyree said, her voice much softer this time, as if she finally understood the turmoil that Honour faced alone.

“I have nothing to say,” Honour whispered, afraid that if she let loose what was going on inside her, she’d never be able to pull herself back together.

“Why did you kiss her?” Kyree asked, so directly. But there was no judgement in her tone. It was all curiosity and concern.

Honour swallowed a lump in her throat. That was the ultimate question, wasn’t it? Why had she made the decision? She’d spouted off that she’d had all the control in the situation, but nothing could have been further from the truth. She’d felt absolutely out of control.

Instead of answering, Honour asked a question. “Why did you find what happened so arousing?”

Kyree’s lips parted in surprise. She rested her body more firmly on top of Honour, easing Honour into the weight. Honour sucked in a sharp breath, the memory of Hudson doing something similar, and yet this was vastly different.

Had Kyree been aroused by Honour kissing Hudson? Or was it merely a physical reaction to watching them? Had she wanted to join in? Taste? Test? Tease?

Honour sucked in a sharp gasp as she waited for an answer. If Kyree was going to push them to talk, then Honour wasn’t going to let her get away without sharing some of her own secrets. Kyree pulled away slightly, her dark hair floating around her as if it would protect them from the light trying to break through.

“I’ve never met a mer like Hudson before.”

“I doubt many have. Unhinged is the first word that comes to mind.”

Kyree let out a small laugh and nodded. “Yes, but she responds to touch. Did you notice that? I think she craves it. Not just sexual touch, but any touch. I don’t know much about the Talon tribe, but Hudson craves contact.”

“I noticed.” Honour bit the inside of her cheek. She’d used that to her advantage, much as she’d seen Kyree do it. “Talons are known for being outstanding warriors. Everything in their tribe is about fighting a battle and tearing their enemy apart. Any touch is meant for demeaning the other person. It’s not meant for uplifting or pleasure. They are there to take and take only.”

“How awful for them,” Kyree responded. She shifted slightly, pushing her hips into Honour’s.

Honour couldn’t tell if it was an intentional move or not, but the pressure of their tails hitting, their scales sliding against each other, sent those pleasurable shock waves right through her again.

“Do you think they can learn how good it feels to give?” Kyree fingered the edge of Honour’s wrappings mindlessly, like she wanted to check on them but wasn’t sure how, or if she should.

Honour closed her eyes, holding back her body’s reaction as best she could. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers into Kyree’s hair and jerked her head down so their lips were only a breath apart. “No, I don’t.”

“I have hope that Hudson can.”

A shiver ran through Honour’s body. Hudson had certainly given her pleasure, more than once. And Honour had taken the bait each time willingly. What did that say about her? That she was sex deprived? That she liked to live on the edge of pleasure and pain? That she confused the two?

Honour pulled Kyree closer, wrapping an arm around the small of her back and keeping her locked in place. “You need to answer my question.”

“What question?” Did Kyree sound breathy?

“Were you aroused by Hudson kissing me?” Honour’s heart clenched, making it hard to breathe. Everything hinged on Kyree’s answer, and Honour had no clue why she so desperately wanted to know.

“Y-yes,” Kyree stumbled over the word. “I was.”

Honour sucked in sharply. She hadn’t expected that. She’d thought that Kyree would be repulsed by it all. Just like she had been with herself—at least, she wanted to be disgusted with herself. But she couldn’t stop thinking about Hudson and the way she moved. She was pure sex and nothing else.

“W-what about it…” How did she even ask this? “What about it turned you on?”

Kyree shook her head slowly, but she didn’t lose eye contact. “I don’t know. But I understand Hudson’s craving for touch.”

“You do?” Honour furrowed her brow.

“I do.” Kyree skimmed her fingers confidently over Honour’s stomach and up her chest, around her left nipple and up to her neck. “My tribe doesn’t like outsiders.”

“No shit.” Honour snorted with a light laugh.

“Yes, but what you don’t know and what Hudson—somehow—did, is that by choosing to come with you to support you during this war, I’m unable to return to my people.”

Honour’s stomach dropped. Concern hit her hard. Then anger at the injustice of it all. “They kicked you out to help us?”

“Because I’ll be mingling with other tribes.”

“ Mingling?” The disbelief in her tone couldn’t be more obvious. “Kyree, you’re fighting to save our world.”

“I’m not fighting.”

“You’re not killing humans or taking down krakens, but you are fighting with us. Without you helping us, they won’t have a world to survive in.” How could the elders not see that? How could they not understand just how important this was and the amazing thing that Kyree was doing not just for them but for the rest of the ocean?

“I left them.”

“So you can’t go back?”

“I can, with permission from the elders when my time in exile is complete.” Kyree moved her fingers against Honour’s jaw. “It’s been so hard to keep myself separate.”

“Separate?”

“I mustn’t break any more rules.” Kyree’s voice was a whisper, and her fingers stopped on Honour’s lips. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to, or that I’m immune to my feelings.”

“Your feelings?” Honour’s heart hammered. What was going on?

Kyree shook her head side to side. “We should get going. You need to rest after we return. Finish your healing.”

Honour blinked as Kyree started to move away. She tightened her grasp around Kyree’s waist and in a sudden moment of energy, flipped them over so she was crowding into Kyree’s space. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Because I’m not saying anything,” Kyree answered. “To say something would be an admission of something, and to do that would prevent me from ever returning home.”

“What do you want, Kyree?” Honour had to know. The tension between them couldn’t be stronger than it was now. And Honour wasn’t sure she could let that go, not without knowing why she had to loosen her grasp first.

Kyree shook her head, a tear forming in each of her eyes. “I don’t know what I want. Well, that’s a lie. I do know. But I don’t know what the right answer is.”

Honour kept quiet, not sure what to say.

“If you and Hudson could be together, would you?”

“No,” Honour answered confidently. That had been pure sexual tension, lacking in emotional connection, and Honour wouldn’t be with another mer only for the sex—well, not one as psychotic as Hudson. “No, that was sex and nothing more.”

“Are you sure?” Kyree was touching Honour’s body again, exploring her muscles, her curves, the lines from one side to the other.

It was mesmerizing.

“No,” Honour whispered.

Kyree nodded. “Let’s get back to Reine. We can talk more later.”

Now Kyree wanted to avoid talking? Honour dropped her head to Kyree’s shoulder and steadied her breathing. What was going on with her? She needed to get control of herself.

“Yeah. We need to make a plan to rescue Soulara.” Honour pulled away and snagged Kyree’s hand. They swam the rest of the way to Reine holding onto each other, but as soon as they reached the city limits, Kyree slipped her fingers from Honour’s.

Honour said nothing, she just led the way to the King’s throne room. This was never the conversation that she wanted to have with him. She’d been there several times to tell him that Soulara had slipped out into the night but that she was being watched, but never before had she needed to tell him that Soulara was missing.

Bowing low as soon as she entered the room, Honour barely raised her gaze to meet King Pregtox’s eyes. He looked exhausted, as exhausted as Honour felt. And he looked worried. She’d never seen him like this before—a wild worry that threatened to consume.

“They took her,” Honour’s voice cracked. “Her and Autumn, the human. I tried to stop them, but I failed.”

“Where are they?” Pregtox’s voice wavered.

Honour shook her head. “I don’t know. I suspect they’re not in the water. They took them into the air.”

Pregtox slammed his fist onto the table. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

Honour spent the next hour explaining in detail all that had happened. Kyree filled in some of the blanks from after Honour had been injured and fallen unconscious. They both left out the drama with Hudson. Honour wasn’t even sure how to begin to explain that one and since Hudson seemed to be an outlier to the Talon, it wouldn’t matter in the long run, anyway.

Pregtox sent them on their way with orders for Honour to visit the healers. Instead, she swam to the coral where Kyree was staying, making sure Kyree returned to rest herself. Honour couldn’t imagine how exhausted she must be after going through everything in the last two days.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Honour said, staying near the entrance to the small coral cove that Kyree had been assigned.

“Honour?” Kyree touched Honour’s arm lightly, but it wasn’t with the same gusto that she’d touched when they’d been outside of Reine. “We need to find Nylah.”

“The ray?” Honour frowned sharply. “They were taken with Soulara, I’m sure of it.”

“I’m not, and it’s very important that we find them.”

Honour scoffed. “They’re lost to the sea by now.”

“I refuse to believe that.” Kyree backed away slowly. “We need to find them.”

“We need to find Soulara. She’s the heir to the throne and the entire reason we know anything about the humans. Of all captives, we need to find and rescue her.”

“Will you leave Autumn to the hands of the humans in favor of Soulara?”

“Absolutely.” Honour put her hands on her hips and glared at Kyree. How could she be questioning this? Loyalty over love any day. Soulara could survive losing Autumn, but Reine couldn’t survive with Makryn leading them. He didn’t have the capacity to be their next king. It would make all the politics, all the alliances, everything go haywire in a way that Honour wasn’t sure could be resolved. He would ruin them. Doubling down on her answer, Honour slid in closer to Kyree to make her point known. “I won’t leave Soulara in the hands of those monsters.”

“I’m not suggesting that you do,” Kyree answered. “What I’m saying is that Nylah will be key to finding Soulara.”

Honour shook her head. “I don’t have time to find a rogue ray.”

Kyree sighed heavily. “I see we’re at an impasse. Find a healer, Honour. You need to make sure the herbs Hudson gave you aren’t having any damaging effects.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Honour tensed sharply.

“Just go rest and finish healing. Then you can find Soulara. I promise.” Kyree pushed Honour backward toward the entrance to the cove.

Honour let her. She didn’t fight back, she didn’t push to make her point, she didn’t even resist. Instead, she swam backward until she was outside the entrance, until Kyree’s dark eyes met hers. Sadness swept over her, exhaustion sure, but this was different than that. This was something between them breaking, whatever connection they’d found on their travel back to Reine, during their time in Hudson’s claws.

“I will find her,” Honour repeated.

“Good.” Kyree moved backward. “I’d expect nothing less from you, General Honour.”

The coldness of Kyree’s demeanor hit her hard and fast. Honour wanted to object, wanted to take back whatever it was that had happened between them, but Kyree was gone. She’d disappeared behind the reeds and a wall had come up between them. Honour closed her eyes and hung her head.

Kyree was right.

She was first General Honour and second a mer. Swimming to the healer with a heavy heart, Honour let them examine her.