Chapter 18

18

H udson pushed her fluke harder, forcing herself to speed through the water as fast as she could.

What was she thinking? Who the hell was she kidding?

She was a rogue Talon mermaid. She was a warrior built to fight. And she would fight.

How could she have let two mermaids who had no idea what life was like distract her from her purpose? Sure, they were gorgeous and beautiful and had made her feel like she could be like them. Like she could be calm. And that taste of peace had been amazing. Hudson shivered as she pushed herself harder. If she looked back now, she’d never find her way again.

The problem was, they made her feel. Something other than rage at the tribe who had used her and her fellow mermaids.

The thoughts whirled through her head as she headed back toward Talon territory. She’d told Cryoc it would only be a few days. She’d tasked him to keep staking out the Talon borders and seeing what they were doing in relation to this war. It had been a little longer than she’d planned. But she’d find them, even if Cryoc had gotten cocky and taken things into his own hands.

They would bow down to her rule once more, or she would kill them.

Honour might pride herself on loyalty, but Hudson demanded it. And Honour had broken that promise. If Honour had been part of her war party, Hudson would have killed her too. Except she hadn’t. Why was that?

Waiting for the familiar rush of adrenaline and fire in her belly, Hudson allowed her mind to turn toward battle plans and revenge.

But the rush didn’t come.

She remembered the feeling of it, how it filled her and made her laugh with the pure thrill of blood lust. Getting payback from those who had spent her life holding her down had always been enough.

“Hudson,” Cryoc interrupted her thoughts, and she appreciated him for the first time in a while.

She shook her head. She wouldn’t let some orgasms, no matter how water-rippling they were, turn her soft. And she was home, finally. Except…it no longer felt that way. Cringing inwardly, Hudson convinced herself that it would eventually feel that way again.

“Report.” Hudson ignored Cryoc’s concerned look and followed him back toward the camp he had set up.

“They aren’t moving on this side at all.”

“What? But they made a treaty with Reine.”

“I’m just as surprised that they’re honoring it.” Cryoc smirked, and Hudson returned the gesture.

At least her muscles remembered how to play the part, even if something inside her felt wrong.

Broken?

No, she would never allow anyone to break her again, no matter who they were. She didn’t bow to Milan, and she wouldn’t bow to anyone else. Not the King of Reine, not even for Honour and Kyree.

“Hudson?” Cryoc asked.

“What?” she snapped. That felt good. That felt like something akin to her old self.

“Crew wants to know what’s going on?”

“What’s going on is whatever I say is going on.” She gritted her teeth. She wasn’t playing the role as well as she’d thought, and her cracks were growing by the second.

“Right,” Cryoc said, but he didn’t cower like he had before. Or was she imagining that? “But you aren’t saying anything.”

“Because nothing’s changed.” She snarled.

“What the fuck?” Cryoc asked.

“Cryoc,” Hudson warned.

“We’ve all got reason to despise the Talons. You know that. But we saw those things, Hudson. All of us did.”

“So what?” Hudson turned back to Cryoc, elbow raising as she did. It hit square in his jaw. The blood was slow to leak from the corner of his mouth, but as it did, the hair on the back of her neck rose.

Turning around, the rest of the crew stared at her. Wide eyes met her own, and the usual fear filled them. Still, that rush was nowhere to be found.

“We move on as planned. The Talon are too busy pretending to play nice with Reine.” She ignored the bile that rose to the back of her throat. “We’ll take them. And we’ll show them what it means to be strong despite their savagery.”

“And what about our savagery?” Cryoc spoke as he spat another stream of red blood from his mouth.

“They made us.” Hudson turned on Cryoc, fingers wrapping instantly around his neck. She didn’t squeeze, but it took everything in her to focus. “They’ll reap what they sow. So unless you want a matching bruise, take down the camp. It’s time to head home.”

“Yes, Hudson.” Cryoc growled as she let him go with a push of her hand. He didn’t fight the momentum of her thrust. He simply let himself float away, his eyes pinned on hers.

She turned and headed to the area she knew Cryoc had kept for her.

He’d always been loyal. He’d only pushed as far as he needed, and before now, she’d never once wrapped her hand around his throat. She had thought it would be impossible for him to ever cause such a need.

But had he caused it?

As she settled in the sand at her relatively secluded spot, sounds of the men floated to her. She couldn’t hear the words, but the tones were low and muted. There was no casual jostling with each other, and the flow of water being pushed by their moving flukes and fins held no thrill or excitement.

She felt none either.

Cryoc hadn’t been wrong—those mechanical monsters were like nothing their water had seen before. They were deadly and dangerous, and the humans who controlled them even more so. But that didn’t mean she was wrong. They could take down Talon and then join up with Reine. Join up with Honour and Kyree.

But would she be allowed to join with them ever again? Not just for the war. Did she want to?

No, she couldn’t want that. Not more than the revenge she’d been working her entire life to get. Not more than the revenge she promised her men.

But they’d all stared at her. Fear was in their eyes, but it wasn’t fear for her. Fear for those things. She’d been able to take them down. But only with Honour by her side. It’d been easier than she could have imagined. Honour read her body without words, had predicted her moves just as easily as she could predict Honour’s own next strike. They had to be safe. Honour would keep Kyree safe until she got back. Wouldn’t she?

Got back?

No. She shook her head.

“Shit,” Hudson muttered into the silence around her. Silence? When had her men stopped moving, talking quietly to themselves? How had she missed the end of the pack down?

“The camp’s ready, Hudson.” Cryoc stood stiff at the entrance to her space. He’d never had to collect her before. She’d always been there, ready for them to move out instantly.

She looked up, and his eyes widened before quickly shifting away.

“What?” she snapped, shocked to hear the hitch in her own voice.

“Hudson.” What the hell was that in his voice? Pity? Sympathy?

“What?” She growled out and was rewarded as he flinched slightly.

“You’re crying.”

“I’m not…” Her words trailed off as she lifted one hand to the water in front of her. Warm. A touch of her fingers to her tongue. “Fuck.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” She bit back.

This time Cryoc didn’t flinch. Instead, he moved into her space and stopped within reach of her grip once more. Was he stupid? Well, let him be stupid and see what it gets him.

“Things have changed,” he stated.

“Nothing’s changed.”

“It has. It doesn’t mean we don’t all still want the Talon taken down. But we’re more than just a group of thugs.”

“Huh.” Hudson scoffed. “Since when?”

“Since you made us more.”

The words stopped the next retort from Hudson’s mouth.

“The men saw you fighting those things. They follow you because you do what others won’t.”

“Get to the point, Cryoc.” Hudson flipped her hand to tell him to hurry up.

“They want to fight them. They want to do what even the Talon are too scared to do.”

“What makes you think they’re too scared? They took one down and got in with Reine.”

“We took it down. And you know it.”

“What about Talon?”

“We get Talon after.”

“Let the men rest. I’ll be out soon.”

Cryoc’s face might as well have been the side of the cliff they camped beneath. His expression gave nothing away, which Hudson supposed made sense. She had no idea what to do. The rush of fighting those krakens alongside Honour had been the biggest thrill of her life. Well, when it came to fighting.

But everything since then had made her question everything that had come before.

They made her question it all.

No, she shook her head and slammed her open palms against the rock wall in frustration.

She had to be honest with herself. It was the one thing she held to as tightly as any sword or weapon. She’d questioned everything because she wanted to be better. For them, but only because they already saw something worthy in her. She wanted to meet their expectations.

She shook her head again.

They would never want her back. Not after how she had left them. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t at least be a little better, did it?

Honour would have their loyalty from her position and her power. Not to mention her bloody determination to be good. But Kyree would listen to them, and she would have their love and they would follow her until the end of their world.

Which, Hudson suspected, would come far too soon if their people, all of their people, didn’t stand up against these invaders.

With a firm nod of her head, she turned away from the wall, her hands stinging from the small stones that had bitten into the soft flesh of her palms. She let the pain travel through her to strengthen the steel in her spine and the power in her fluke. She would do what her men wanted most, and she would let them tell her.

“Talons.” She roared as she came out of her camp.

Her men were quick to rise from where they leaned and were in a row before her in seconds after her cry.

“Ready, Hudson,” Cryoc replied.

Her men echoed his call.

She didn’t speak, not immediately. Instead, she swam the line in front of them, meeting each set of eyes.

Cryoc had spoken true. Though she hadn’t doubted it.

Their eyes met her own, but they all looked away before she moved on. They were still filled with the anger and the fire she’d always known. But they were filled with so much more. The fear took on edges she’d never seen before, and there was shame. Did they regret not agreeing with her to continue their war on Talon?

“Talon are our true enemy. And yet we still call ourselves Talon.” She paused.

“Yes, Hudson.” They all cried into her silence.

“Because we are Talon.” She turned at the end of the line and began the swim back. “Not because we take the freedoms of others. But because we’re the strongest motherfuckers this water has ever seen.”

“Yes, Hudson!” The roar was more alive now. They didn’t know where she was going with her speech, and part of her pivoted back and forth before the next words spilled from her mouth.

“No scaleless monsters and their metallic beasts can scare us.”

“Yes, Hudson!” The roar might as well have come from thousands of mers ready for war.

“So, are we going to show these bastards what the Talon are truly made of?” Her own voice screamed out, creating ripples of water over their heads.

“YES, HUDSON!”

She laughed—loud and maniacal. She found herself filled once more with the thrill of war and the thirst for a fight.

But being honest with herself, she also felt that hole within her. The one that craved to have Honour in the battle arena with her, and Kyree in her cave at night.

“Hud-son, Hud-son, Hud-son, Hud-son.” The chant pulled her out of her head, and she laughed again, her lips rolled back as she revealed her teeth.

She didn’t bother changing the chant to Talon, as she might have once upon a time.

With part of her still pining over her mers and what she had left behind she led her men out of the temporary camp and headed back toward the real fight, toward the surface, and Reine.