Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

T wo weeks later

Miranda

I wake with a start. The room is dark. But it's different from when I fell asleep.

Declan.

I sit up to find him in the chair beside my bed. The chair that's been propped up against the door for the last week. This extended stay hotel is scarier than the last few. But my car broke down when I got here so I didn't have a way to check into another without pulling out more money. The clerk had demanded an extra three hundred dollars not to have me use my card to hold the room.

I'm not surprised. Not even a little. I felt him right behind me every step of the way to this crappy hotel in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico. My hope was to cross into Mexico before he caught up with me. If my car hadn't broken down, I might have .

"You look like shit." He murmurs low. "You haven't been taking care of yourself. Or our baby."

It stings the way he intended. I couldn't help it. I tried. I've been taking prenatal vitamins. Mainly it was protein shakes and protein bars that kept me going. I didn't care about eating because I didn't care about anything when I realized what I left behind in Chicago.

"A baby you didn't want. That you left me alone to find out about by myself. A baby I called to tell you about but you didn't answer my call. You only answered hers." He doesn't get to make me feel like shit when he's the cause of it to begin with.

"I didn't let myself call you or answer your call because every moment I was gone, I was tortured by the thought you would come to your senses and leave. I picked up the phone again and again to call you, terrified you wouldn't answer. Day after day, I begged my uncle to let me come home to you."

"What?" I hit the lamp to turn it on.

He nods. Holy shit, he looks as bad as I feel. "At first, I was there for them to test you with the FBI agents. You passed, and they were happy. Then, the discussion became for me to take over completely. The few I answered to wanted out. It was a discussion of how to buy them out and close out other agreements we have in Ireland. But I made the mistake of telling them that I needed to talk to you first. To ensure you were okay with it all."

My mouth drops. He wanted to talk to me before agreeing?

Blue meets mine. "I wouldn't have agreed if you said no. This was about our future. Without you, none of it mattered. And if you wanted out, I would walk away. If they were ready to retire, then I could too. Walking away would never be easy, but if I handed the reins off, it would be now. They didn't like that. "

His sigh is heavy. "Stupidly, I was adamant. Finally, they understood it was no joke. They were sure I would give in any day. When I agreed, they would let me come home to you. But I couldn't sign it. Not if you weren't all in with me. They jammed my cell phone so that I couldn't call you. Every night, I dreamed you were in my arms, and I was inside your beautiful body, and woke to find myself alone."

The pain is clear in his eyes. Oh god, his family wouldn't let him leave.

"I gave in on the morning you called me. I couldn't take it anymore. I signed, telling them I'd get you to agree. And if it came down to it, I would let you go. But it was only for them to let me go. When you called they were driving me to the airport. If I'd answered, they would have known I was lying to them. Brenna didn't call me. She texted me."

His eyes drop from mine. "The baby wasn't mine. But it was my fault he was without a mother. His mother was a worker in the brothel. We didn't protect her the way we should have. It was right after I got you to agree to stay with me. I didn't want you afraid of my world. So I dumped the baby on Brenna and Colm. I've done all I could to ensure things weren't as scary as you thought they were. But it all blew up in my face, and maybe it's what I deserve. Only I can't lose you. If you couldn't live in my world, then neither could I. There is no me without you."

"Declan." I reach for him.

His arms around me in a crushing grip that leaves me breathless. Thank god.

"Every night I fell asleep, I dreamed of you and woke up hating you weren't here. I missed you so much. You were gone for so long. Without hearing your voice, I was so scared you wouldn't want the baby. All those things you said?—"

"Were a lie. I want our baby desperately, as much as you. I was honest when I said I was glad there were no children with Orla. It would have been a complete clusterfuck. But I grew up, and I did think a few kiddos would be nice. Then you talked about thinking you couldn't have a child. In the moment, I said it so you wouldn't feel bad. Because if there was a choice between you or a child, I'd pick you every damn time. It's why it hurt so much when I read that text. The idea that you hated me enough to destroy it—our child… The pain was so immense I couldn't fucking breathe through it."

"I could never do that to you or us." I run my hand over his cheek, in awe at long last, able to touch him again. "It's not fair. I should have told you the last day I was at my company. I found out Michael was divorcing because his wife cheated on him, and the kids he thought were his weren't. There was a chance it was his fault we couldn't have kids, not mine. I should have told you then and let you decide if you wanted to take the chance of a baby, but I didn't—that was wrong."

Shaking his head, he sighs.

I rush to make the admission. "A part of me felt guilty, like it's what I got for not giving you a choice. I also can't shake the feeling I'm not supposed to be pregnant, that I don't deserve to have everything I want. A part of me is really scared I'll lose the baby."

His head comes down to mine. He's all I see and breathe. "You pregnant is right up there with you telling me you love me as the best thing to ever happen to me. I knew how sad you were about thinking you couldn't have a baby. Once I had my ring on your finger, I was going to offer up doing the whole fertility thing, all the way to IVF, if you wanted. It just felt like I needed to wait until you were sure the world was safe for you and our kids. Don't be thinking bad thoughts because there isn't anything I wouldn't do to give you the life you wanted. This was a dream you had, but it's coming true, that's all. The babe is meant to be here the same way you're meant to be with me."

This man, it's like he reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. "I'm sorry. It was as much my fault for not feeling like you could offer that to me. I would have said yes the day you asked me to stay with you. I could also never ask you to leave who you are behind in Chicago."

He pulls away, his eyes wide.

"I missed not only you but our life there. Our home, Aoife, Chicago itself. I've missed all of it. I told you and myself I didn't belong. But it was because I was afraid one day you would come to your senses and find someone prettier, someone who matched you in more ways than me. I didn't allow myself to get comfortable. So it would hurt less when the time came. Only it hurt worse for never letting a part of it in, so the only thing I took with me were memories, not a part of it the way I did with you."

"Are you sure? We could go anywhere in the world. I have the money. I can ensure our family's safety."

I nod, running a finger over his lips. "I'm sure. Over the last two weeks, I've had more time than I wanted to see all the things I did wrong, too. I wasn't all in, not completely. If I were, you wouldn't have had doubts and needed to talk to me first. They wouldn't have kept you in Ireland. I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, he sighs. "You weren't the only one. I should have given you this before I left."

He pulls a ring out of his pocket. A stunning art deco emerald in a rectangle with diamonds inlaid around it, on the side, and in the band itself.

"Oh my god." I exhale.

Gently, he slides it on my finger. He sighs. "You've lost weight. It would have fit if I gave it to you when I bought it."

"When did you buy it?"

"I was in the store having it fitted for you when I told you to spend my money in the furniture store. There I am in the store debating this ring or a diamond the jeweler was pushing on me. The diamond was bigger, but it was boring. All I could think of was how your eyes go green when you're happy, or I'm inside you. Even though it's only six carats, the green reminded me of your eyes too much to go with the diamond."

"I love it. But the only ring I want is a plain gold band."

His chuckle is low. "There is nothing plain about our love. Everyone who sees you needs to know you're taken and mine."

"Forever." I press the word to his lips.

"Until I breathe my last breath." It's a promise.

Three weeks later

Declan

Tomorrow is our wedding day, and today, we're seeing the obstetrician. Miranda is annoyed I selected this obstetrician over the one her doctor recommended. Tough, this doctor is the most sought-after in Chicago. I had to call in favors to get Miranda in— they are all worth it in order for her to be seen by the best doctor with experience in high-risk pregnancies.

Miranda admitting she was afraid of losing the baby because she didn't think she was supposed to get pregnant was ice down my spine. I spoke to the doctor, sharing Miranda's fears about the loss of pregnancy.

The doctor was understanding and it's one of the reasons she agreed to take Miranda on as a patient.

"Is that a real Matisse?" Miranda whispers. She's back from the restroom. The receptionist stated she would need to provide a urine sample.

I chuckle. "I told you she was the best in the city. There's a reason why we're here and not at the other doctor."

I'm looking over her shoulder as she fills in the paperwork. "Fill that out as Mrs. Kelly."

Rolling her eyes, she blushes. "Yes, dear husband."

Fuck, hearing her say that makes my cock hard. The witch sees what she does to me and shakes her head.

"We're in a doctor's office."

"I don't care where we are. Tomorrow is taking forever to get here." I mutter as I shift my thickening cock.

Giggling, "I was happy to have a ceremony at city hall." She reminds me.

"Bullshit. You deserve better than that. And seeing how happy you've been with Aoife planning everything was worth it."

She sighs and lays her head on my shoulder. "Thank you. I'm glad you were your bossy self. I do love the way it's all come together. Only you could turn a simple backyard wedding into what you have."

A nurse calls out for Miranda.

Inside the exam room, the nurse gives me a look over and turns to Miranda. "Are you safe? You want him with you?"

Miranda's eyes go big. "Yes, of course. I'm fine, and I want him here with me."

The nurse shrugs. "We have to ask. Up on the table for me."

I sit in one of the empty chairs in the corner. As the nurse goes over the questions from the paperwork, she does her best to avoid looking at me. Once she has taken Miranda's blood pressure, she takes a soft gown from a drawer and hands it to Miranda.

"All your clothes off. The doctor will be in in a few minutes."

Shaking her head, Miranda sighs. "It's the all-black and how tense you are. You didn't flash your dimples at her."

I'm up taking off her shoes and setting them by the table. "I don't give a shit if she's afraid of me or not. You're worried. Until you aren't, I'm going to be tense."

She stands, and I tug her panties off. Her hand is on my shoulder to keep her balance. "I'm sorry, I'm worried."

I sigh. "What have I told you? Quit apologizing." I give her a tap on her ass. "Once you talk to the doctor, I'm sure you won't be as much. Turn around."

She turns and lifts her hair for me to tie the gown closed. I fold her dress and place it, along with her panties and bra on the empty chair beside me. Running her hands up her arms, she shivers. "It's cold in here. "

Taking off my suit jacket, I set it on her shoulders. It's cute the way it's way too big on her. She snuggles into it. "I love the way you smell?—"

A brief knock is followed by the door opening to a tall blonde woman with her hair in a bun and several pens coming out of it. "Mrs. Kelly, hello. I'm Whitney. Please just call me Whitney. Every time someone calls me Dr. Sherman, I look for my mother. Mr. Kelly, I love when dad is in the office."

She sits on the rolling stool. "Sorry, yeah we keep it cool in here. No need to take off the jacket just yet. Okay, so Dad, you called me and let me know Mom has some fears. Talk to me, Mrs. Kelly."

"Miranda, please." She shrugs. "I feel fine. I do, which is why I know it's silly to worry. It's just years of nothing with my ex-husband. Then I'm with Declan, and from how far along I'm supposed to be, it happened the first time, and I don't know. I just convinced myself it was never going to happen, and when it has, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something."

"Ah, well, that's called childhood trauma. Nothing wrong with that. I'm looking at your numbers, and everything looks great. Your HCG levels are perfect. You are young and healthy. From how clearly your husband is going to ensure you follow all the advice. There's no reason to suspect you couldn't carry this pregnancy to completion."

Sighing, she nods. "Thank you. He is extremely bossy. Actually," she blushes. "I was wondering. He's being overprotective and saying it's not safe. But I think it is. Is it safe if, um, he spanks me?"

I chuckle, disbelieving she asked the question.

The doctor smiles and looks from me to Miranda. "As long as it's not breaking the skin and the impact is moderate, it's perfectly fine."

Triumphant, Miranda smiles wide. "I told you so."

"Okay, lay back for me. I'm going to do a breast exam and then check your cervix. Do you check your breasts often?"

Fuck, I'm an asshole for the rage burning within me at the sight of another person's hands on Miranda. It's her doctor and for her health.

"No, I know I should. But only once or twice after my yearly, then I forget again. Is there a reason why you're doing it now?"

"Your body is going to go through a lot of changes with hormones, and you'll pay more attention. So, a bump you might have had for years will catch your attention and have you worried. This is to take everything into account, and sadly, there are things women should have been paying attention to and haven't until now. Your appointments are going to be monthly—unless there's a concern you have. So if something comes up, by all means, call me, but this will hopefully keep you from being stressed between appointments."

"That reminds me. I was looking through the coverage for ultrasounds, and insurance only covers two. With her concern, I don't believe that's sufficient. I'd like to have one each month. I have no problem covering out-of-pocket costs."

Looking down at Miranda, she shakes her head. "You weren't kidding about him being overprotective."

Miranda shrugs. "Nope. But I don't mind. It's because he cares."

"I'll make a note of it." The doctor nods. "Okay, can you scootch down a little more for me? "

"Sorry, I hate this part." Miranda sighs. Her eyes meet mine, and I see the question in them. I'm up and by her side, taking her hand in mine. "Thank you." The words are small.

I run a hand over her hair. "You're welcome?—"

"Ouch." She mutters and covers her eyes with her wrist.

"Sorry." The doctor shakes her head. "Your doctor didn't note you have a tilted cervix."

"Is that a problem?" I wonder.

"No, not a problem, but I would have gone with a plastic speculum, not a metal one. I don't hate plastic. However, the last few we had didn't want to stay open, so I've reverted back to metal until we get a new shipment. Okay, all done." She pulls off her gloves then opens Miranda's file. After reading through it, she takes a pen from her bun and writes something in it.

"And now we're going to get an image to confirm." The screen doesn't show much that I can see. She presses a button and prints out something that doesn't look any bigger than a receipt.

Miranda and I look at it confused.

The doctor chuckles. "This right here. It's giving the correct size as indicated by the HCG levels. Everything looks good. As I said, all your blood testing looks good. We're sending off the smear as a preventative, not out of concern. There's no reason I can see why you shouldn't have a healthy pregnancy. That said, things happen we can't always explain. Any bleeding, spotting, fever, or aches that are new, give me a call. If not, I'll see you in a month. Okay?"

Miranda nods. "Thank you."

"All right. Mr. Kelly, a word, please. "

Annoyed at leaving Miranda to dress alone. I follow the doctor. She's standing in an exam room next to the one we were in. Once I'm inside, she closes the door.

One eyebrow is up as she studies me. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go back in there and tell her that you fed her Clomid to get her pregnant."

I chuckle. "You can if you want to. However, it will only leave her more concerned than ever that there will be issues in her pregnancy. My wife wants this pregnancy. She's wanted to be a mother for years. And what my wife wants, she gets. I discovered it was likely her ex-husband who was the issue, not her. So I got ahold of the Clomid and gave it to her. If she hadn't gotten pregnant in six months with the Clomid, I would have suggested we go down the fertility route and include doctors. It could have been the Clomid—it might not have been. It was one single round of Clomid. And multiple attempts on my part, with her eager enthusiasm."

Her sigh is annoyed. It's clear she doesn't want to tell Miranda. If she did, she would have already.

"You saw how happy and hopeful she is. This isn't a case of making the best of a bad situation. Would I rather she never know? Yes, but only because I want her to believe there was never anything wrong with her. Her ex blamed her for their lack of a child. It was bullshit then, and it would be now. But she'll always worry in the back of her mind."

I'm not looking forward to Miranda ever finding out. The damn medication was supposed to be out of her system within thirty days of the last time she took it. She'll be pissed—I have no doubt about it. It will take her a hard minute to calm down. I would rather her not be upset until after she's had the baby.

Shaking her head, another sigh. "Fine. God, you are annoying as hell."