Chapter 21

Kailee

" T his is me eating shit," I say as soon as Chase opens the door.

He blinks twice like he's not sure if I'm real and then looks left and right up the street. I shuffle the bouquet of gourmet popcorn out from under my armpit and hold it out to him. "Lorelei told me what you did. How you carried me into the hospital."

He takes the popcorn and steps back, a silent gesture that I can come into his house.

His living room is dim, and food containers litter every surface.

"Are you OK?" I ask.

He snorts a sarcastic laugh. "No, I am not, in any capacity, OK." He slinks onto the sofa, setting the popcorn on a small spot on the end table where it barely fits. "It's safe to say I won't ever be a resource officer again."

"Did you get fired from the force?" I ask in a whisper.

"No. I'm too good of a drug agent for that. My boss wasn't pleased though. He said I made him look stupid in front of his golf buddy, the superintendent of schools."

"Ah. Great. The superintendent knows who I am."

Chase sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Relax. Nobody could possibly blame you for me clocking Leo and causing the destruction of the teacher's lounge."

"You could blame me. I took him up on that date so I could make you mad."

Chase furrows his brow. "You went out with him to make me jealous? I thought you were just pissed because I told you about the bet those guys had?"

I wave my hands in the air like I'm being attacked by a sudden swarm of bees. "You know what? It doesn't matter.

"He got fired, by the way."

"Really?" I ask. Even though he went absolutely crazy at the end, I still feel bad for Leo.

He nods and chuckles. "My boss isn't super happy about the videos that are circulating, but the staff all said I was doing the right thing and just defending you. At the end of the day, that's my job, and I did it. People have it on video and saw him threaten to do CPR on you when you didn't need it and also got him trying to drown an officer with cake. I think the biting me like a rabid dog was the nail in the coffin. You should also know I'm now a viral YouTube star."

"You're kidding."

"You're looking at Hot Cake Cop."

"Well, there goes your undercover career."

"Why are you here, Kailee? I think you made it clear you don't want much from me no matter how hard I try. I promise not to leave you to parent by yourself, but you really did a number on me, you know? I just wanted to be with you."

Fuck, his words are like a punch to the face. I take a deep breath. "It's time I stop running from the decision, and it's time I start speaking to you like you're a partner in this. I've acted like a child, and I've treated you like shit, which is crazy because I absolutely adore you, Chase. I have since I saw you. I let my fear control my choices, and I didn't listen to my heart, my friends who I really trust, or the one person I should have been listening to." I wave my hand up and down his body. "That's you, in case you were wondering."

I take another breath and straighten my shoulders. "I think you'll be a good dad. I'm scared and unsure I can support a child, and we obviously have issues between us -

He holds up a hand, interrupting me. "I don't think that. The issues, I mean. I think we get along like a house on fire when you're not assuming I'm just in this for the baby, and I think we'd be great together. Parents or not, I think we just fit." He looks at his feet like the answer to our big question is written on the top of his shoes.

"It'll be hard enough to finish out this pregnancy with what I know about my family history, but I will. I may need extra medical care, and I'd like to talk about possible help if I have to have a c-section or have outrageous hospital bills. I don't know what will happen to our relationship, but I'm over here just trying to figure out how to navigate having a son."

Chase's head pops up. "Son?"

"Yeah, they did a bunch of tests on me to test if I had any nutritional deficiencies. It's a boy. At least, there's a seventy percent chance it's a boy at this point in the pregnancy. It'll be more certain in a few weeks." I squint. "Do not tell me that makes a difference. If you're telling me you care it's a boy and not a girl…"

He holds his hands up, and I stop midsentence. He shakes his head. "I don't care. I'd like a girl just the same, but it…makes it more real for me."

I slink down in front of him onto his coffee table like my legs are buckling out from under me. "Yeah, me too. That's part of why I'm here and not at the abortion clinic across the river. I can't afford to be a good mother to him, Chase, but I wanted to give you the chance to be a good father, even if we end up heartbroken and hating each other. Part of me is scared of that happening, and that's why I was an asshole to you. But some women don't have a Chase in their life. Some women are left on their own and desperate. I'm lucky enough that I'm sitting across from you and having a discussion right now."

He scowls and clenches his jaw. "I want this baby, but I want you more. You know that, right? Even if you live separately from me while we figure this out, I want to try. But of fucking course I'll take care of you if you need postpartum care. Did I say that right? That's what it's called? Or did I just make up a new word?"

I nod and can't help but grin. "Have you been reading?"

He reaches under his couch cushion and pulls out a banged-up copy of The Expectant Father . He drops it on the coffee table and jerks his chin toward it. "Library sale."

"You're excited, aren't you?"

He meets my eyes, and I swear they sparkle. "I'm getting there. But here's the thing, Kailee – I'm more excited for you ."

"What do you mean?"

He reaches under the couch again and brings out another beat-to-hell book. "They also had a copy of this book from the last century about winning the heart of the woman you love. It's a little outdated, but I –

I cut him off as I lean forward and press my lips to his. He meets my kiss, and I wrap my arms around his warm neck, hungrily taking everything he'll give me. He could touch me anywhere right now. Say anything. Our mouths mesh together, and I melt into him as he pulls me to his lap, his warm chest pressing against mine. I straddle him and run my hands over his face, down his jaw, up again, and through his hair.

When we finally pull apart, my face is wet with tears I didn't know I was shedding. He swipes his thumb through one. "What's this about?"

"I don't know what to believe. Do we jump full into trying to be together, or do we just worry about our son?"

He presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes, humming a little as he smiles. "Why do you make everything so difficult and dramatic?"