Chapter 15

Kailee

L iam squints from the other side of the room, his legs crossed so that his ankle is over the other knee. "Let me understand this. You're pregnant?" he asks, pointing at my stomach. "And Chase is the father. My Chase?" I nod. "You guys hooked up at the bar that night." He turns his head and looks at the carpet. "I knew it!"

I sniff and wipe my nose on my sleeve as Lorelei pops back into the room with a cup of weak tea to help my stomach. I haven't seen Chase since he ran from the nurse's office yesterday. I didn't want to be alone, so I found myself over at Lorelei's for a shoulder to cry on. Per usual, Liam is here and even opened the door to find my crying ass on the doorstep. I still don't know why he hasn't moved in yet. I kind of had to tell him what happened .

Lorelei sets the teacup in front of me and intentionally avoids her boyfriend's eyes. "Yes, it's Chase's baby. Can we move past that and deal with the issue at hand?"

"How long have you known?" Liam asks.

"I've known for a couple weeks. I just couldn't tell him," I say.

"Not you." He points at Lorelei this time. "You. How long did you know about this and not fill me in?"

Lorelei bites her lip. "Umm. I don't remember."

"Bullshit."

Lorelei rolls her shoulders. These two have been all over each other for months now, and it's almost good to see them back to the angry banter they had when they met. They square off against each other well. You'll never convince me otherwise.

"It wasn't my story to tell, Liam ."

Liam leans forward. "But that story is about my best friend and partner, Lorelei ."

Lorelei scowls and leans forward, not breaking his eye contact now. "And she's my best friend –

"Just stop it," I interrupt, putting my hands out like I'll need to push them apart. "You both sound ridiculous. This isn't high school where everyone needs to gossip. I told her not to tell anyone because I still don't know what I'm going to do." I glare at Liam. "She'd keep any secret you have."

That fact seems to placate him as his jaw relaxes, and he finally leans back against Lorelei's pink throw pillows. Lorelei turns her attention back to me and runs her hand down my back. "What did he say?"

"He said he couldn't handle it."

"What?" They both yell the word at the same time. They look at each other, and Lorelei grits her teeth. Liam shrugs, but his lip curls.

"What do you mean he said he couldn't handle it?" Lorelei asks.

"I didn't get a chance to clarify because he literally ran from the room. I watched him through the little window in the door. It was like Usain Bolt realized he had to be anywhere but in that nurse's office. I've never seen a man run so fast." I look at Liam. "Did he run track?"

Liam shrugs. "News to me. He batted before me in the work softball league last year, and I practically had to pick him up and carry him around the bases when I hit a home run. I'd classify his run as more of a jaunty jog."

"So this is just a ‘I found out I'm going to be a father' thing?"

Liam sighs and shakes his head, a confused look creasing his brow. "I hope not. It just doesn't sound like him. He's always been able to handle anything thrown at him. We've been on some undercover busts, and even when we were almost found out, he stayed calm and in character. He doesn't punk out on stakeouts, and a few weeks ago wasn't the first time he saved my life. It was the most intense, but not the first. He handles problems quickly. I mean, you can't be a drug task force agent and not be able to take some shit, you know?"

"Why did he run then?" Lorelei asks.

"Shock?" Liam suggests. "Maybe he just needed air?"

"Must have been suffocating," I mumble. A tear courses down my cheek, and I don't wipe it. I let it drip to Lorelei's carpet. She reaches for a nearby box of tissues and hands me one before thinking better of it and handing me the entire box.

I accept the box and blow my nose. "I was spotting and –

"Are you still spotting?" Lorelei interrupts. Her eyes flick to the white and pink couch under me like she's worried about a stain. I know she's more worried about me, so her look is probably a reflex.

"Not much. It's mostly just…" I trail off and look at Liam. I'm not sure he can handle spotting talk. Then again, he just said drug task force agents deal with a lot of shit. He can probably handle vaginal bleeding. "It's just spotty and dark. Not bright red."

Lorelei blows out a breath. "I think you should go to the doctor. Finally."

"I made an appointment for tomorrow. I also read up on it last night because I couldn't sleep, and there's not much they can do at this point anyway, but I should probably see a doctor."

A knock on the front door startles all of us, and I freeze. Chase? The Amazon delivery guy? Oh, please let it be the delivery guy. I'm not sure if I could face Chase looking at me again and hoofing it back to his car.

Lorelei gets up slowly and practically tiptoes to the door, probably knowing exactly what I'm thinking. When she looks out the peephole, she chuckles and flings the door open.

"Mom?" Liam asks as Nola Lane comes through the door.

She pauses to hug Lorelei and shoves a Tupperware dish of something at her. Nola and Lorelei are always exchanging food. Nola cooks savory meals that are so mouth-wateringly good they'll make you come. Lorelei bakes and provides edibles to Nola as she recovers from her chemo treatments. Nola hasn't had chemo for a few weeks, and she's getting her energy back.

I nod at Nola as she shuffles into the room. Liam stands to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

Nola waves her hand as she sits in the extra reclining chair next to the sofa. "Ah, I made some pork loin and potatoes I thought Lorelei would like."

"You didn't think I'd like it, Mom?"

"Pfft." She ignores her son, and Liam shakes his head. Lorelei and Nola are so close now that it's almost comical how Liam feels left out.

Nola slaps her thighs and looks around the room. "How have you been, Kailee?"

"Just fine, ma'am."

Lorelei comes back into the room and hands me a bottle of ginger ale.

"Oh, you're pregnant, huh?" Nola asks.

I blink and freeze. "I beg your pardon?"

Nola points to the ginger ale. "I downed that by the case when I was pregnant with Liam. The only other time I drank it was during chemo, and I think someone would have told me if you're getting chemo."

Lorelei and Liam don't answer. Lorelei sits on her sofa next to Liam and takes his hand. I decide to answer honestly. "Yes, ma'am. I'm here because your son's partner knocked me up when I was bent over his kitchen counter, and now I don't know what to do."

Nola nods. "It happens. Gotta say that I'm impressed you banged Officer Handsome. That man is one good-looking hombre. Kitchen counter, you say?"

"Mom," Liam groans.

I sit a little straighter. Maybe this is who I need to talk to. "Hey, you had Liam on your own and raised him as a single mother. If you had to do it all over again, would you?"

Nola smiles and looks at the ceiling like she's trying to remember. "Well, first off, his father was with me when I had him. He didn't come into the room because he was weird about that, but he was at the hospital. He left a couple days later and didn't look back." Nola looks at Liam pointedly. "If he had taken off before that, I don't know what I would have done, to be honest. I was still recovering when Liam's dad did a runner, and we hadn't filed the birth certificate yet. I put my last name on it instead of his. That was my way of being mad."

"Understandable, Mom."

"Did you know he would leave you?" I shake my head. "Sorry. I'm just really trying to work out if I should have this baby or not. I can't do it on my own. From what I understand, you had a good job as a nurse."

"Yep. Robert, that's Liam's father, also left me enough money to get by for a while. He had a pretty successful drywall and remodeling business, and he was generous with me. We'd been together off and on since I was eighteen when we were paired for a dance contest in Chicago, but there was a lot I didn't know about him."

"A dance contest?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.

"Long story."

"You never told me that," Liam says.

"We won, too. Well, co-won. We tied with another pair. Anyway, we were around thirty when I got pregnant, and I had been a nurse for a few years by then. It was a good job. After he ran his errand, I found a sizable check in an envelope. My mother watched Liam before he started school so I was able to work without daycare cost. I'm one of the lucky ones, though. If he hadn't left that money and I hadn't had help from my family, I don't know what I would have done. I would have definitely been on assistance, even with my job. Daycare cost is no joke, even back in the late last century. "

"You never looked for him?" I ask.

"Nope. I didn't feel like chasing someone who didn't want to be with me. I had a kid to look after. I knew that he wouldn't be a good dad to Liam if he didn't want to be here. Did I mention the check was enough to supplement my job for a long time? Why blow it on a lawyer to get the child support I may or may not have been able to count on?"

She looks at the floor. "I never heard from him again. He was from the Chicago area, so I assume he went back there. He probably had a family at some point. He just didn't want one with me. We were together off and on for several years, and when I look back, I realize there were clues I missed."

"Like what?" I ask, scooting to the edge of my seat. When Nola talks, it's always profound. At least, that's what Lorelei says. Liam also scoots forward, his ear turned toward his mother. Has he never asked this before?

She cocks her head and taps her chin. "Little things. He missed Chicago. He'd wax poetic about it. I knew he had a wandering eye, and part of me wondered if there was a girlfriend up there that happened one of the times we were off and he just didn't tell me she existed when we got back together. He'd visit Chicago a lot. Hell, I could have been the other woman. In the end, he spent more time up there than down here, but I didn't think much about it. His drywall business was all over Illinois, Missouri, and Iowa. Was he married to someone else? Did he have a woman who was in the same situation, and he had to choose between us? He was nervous all the time during my pregnancy, but I chalked it up to him being scared of fatherhood. Looking back, I'm almost certain something was going on up there." She looks behind me like she's lost in memory. "Whatever the case, you can't force someone to love you because you have a child together."

"But did you regret it?" I ask, desperate to know from someone with hindsight. A tear leaks out of my left eye, and I reach for another tissue. I look at Lorelei, who is red in the face and scowling, her fists balled in anger at my situation or Liam being left by his father. Maybe both.

Nola looks at me and then moves her eyes to my stomach. "No." She waves her hand up and down Liam. "I mean, look at what I did. I raised this. It wasn't always easy, and I had it pretty darn easy compared to some."

"What would you have done if it wasn't easy? If you were alone and without a big cash infusion and no job with benefits? Because that's what I'm dealing with if Chase wants to keep running until he reaches the Canadian border."

She clucks and shakes her head. "If I was in that situation, I don't know. I wonder about women in that situation every day." She shrugs. "Especially in the current climate. But I love this guy, and we got through it by the skin of our teeth with lots of help. I sure can empathize with women who don't have any means or help, though. I think the entire world could do with a bit of empathy for each woman's situation and stop trying to paint such a sensitive and private subject for each individual woman with a broad brush. Forced poverty isn't good for anyone."

Liam clears his throat and runs his hand through his dark hair, ruffling it a bit. "But in all seriousness, I think Chase will come around," he says. "He's not like my dad. He won't leave you to fend for yourself. He doesn't have a secret wife or girlfriend. I can assure you of that. He's all about you."

"You can't be sure of that."

Liam leans forward and cryptically looks out the window as Lorelei practically trembles with rage next to him. "Yes, I damn well can." He drops Lorelei's hand. "I have to run an errand."

"Maybe he is a little like his dad," Nola mumbles after Liam stomps from the house, letting the door slam shut behind him.