Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

In the morning the fog had disappeared. Dawn unfurled its banner in a graceful arc over their heads. The contrast with the gloominess of the previous day was difficult to believe. Bathed in the rosy light, Dunne could feel a new energy coursing through her. A glance toward Bj?rn only confirmed she had made the right decision in not sleeping with him. It would only have jeopardized the easy companionship they seemed to have found again.

By giving in to what were, ultimately, only carnal urges, she would only risk losing his esteem.

She saw to her needs while he harnessed the horse to the cart, and then they shared the loaf of bread in companiable silence. Soon they were ready to leave. But instead of handing her into the driver's seat as she expected, Bj?rn brushed her cheek slowly. Dunne's heart started pounding unbearably hard. Was he going to kiss her again? Her body went limp at the thought. No, not now! Just when she was congratulating herself on her fortitude the night before, he was presenting her with irresistible temptation. She knew that if he leaned in she would not be able to resist. She would lift her mouth to him and they would kiss.

And if they kissed, they would end up making love on the forest floor. It seemed inevitable.

"Your bruise has almost faded."

Her bruise. Oh, she really was a fool. He had never meant to kiss her, he only meant to comment on the state of her injury! Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded and climbed into the cart.

A moment later they were off.

"Where does Bee's love for animals come from?" Bj?rn asked as soon as they exited the forest.

"So you really are calling her Bee?"

He winked at her. "What harm does it do if she likes it? The name suits her as well. She's small and cute, always running around." He laughed as if he were imagining her doing just that and Dunne had to smile. The name did suit her. "Besides, it is not so odd for us Norsemen to have animal names. You know Wolf, of course, and there's Arne the miller's son. His name means Eagle. And there's me."

"Yes. Bear."

"Does it suit me?"

"I don't know. I've only ever seen a bear once and he was in chains." If she had to picture Bj?rn as an animal it would be one that was wild and free, not reduced to such servitude. "I wonder what I would choose if I had to choose an animal name for myself," she mused. "Sigurd calls Frigyth ‘Birdie' and I like that. But I don't think I'd be a bird."

"No? What then?"

"I have no idea."

There was a pause. "I think you would be a doe."

"A doe?" She arched a brow. He sounded as if he'd given that a great deal of thought and she had to admit she rather liked it.

"Mm, yes. Your hair is the same color as its coat. You're just as graceful." He placed a hand on her thigh, causing her to flinch. "And just as skittish."

She pinched her lips, feeling caught out. "I suppose I cannot contradict you after that. Doe it is then."

"Yes," Bj?rn said, chuckling to himself. "Doe, it is. Don't worry, it could have been worse. Like rat or worm."

"You wouldn't dare compare me to a worm!" she cried in mock outrage.

"No, not when you bear absolutely no resemblance to the slimy animal."

"Do bears eat does, do you think?"

The question had seemed innocent enough, but she regretted it the moment Bj?rn's gaze burned a hole through her heart. "I suppose they would, given the chance. And I can't say I blame them."

Dear Lord. How could the conversation have veered off course so quickly or so dramatically? One moment they were jesting about worms and slimy skin, the next he was telling her he wanted to devour her whole.

Bj?rn coughed, as if thinking the same thing. "So. Bee and her love of animals? Where does it come from?"

"I don't know. She has always loved animals. But Toland did not allow her to keep any pet. He went mad the day she rescued a sparrow and forced her to throw it in a ditch. She was not yet two but I don't think she has forgotten it, young as she was."

"Yes, well, we already know that the man was a fool. Apparently he had no idea of how to behave decently, in or out of bed."

Was it possible to blush all the way to one's toes, Dunne wondered? Apparently so.

"Were you born here or in Denmark, like Sigurd and Wolf?" she asked to change the topic. She had learned a lot about him over the last few days, but she didn't recall being told his place of birth.

"Wolf is an Icelander, not a Dane. But, yes, Ingrid and I were born here. My parents were amongst the first to settle in the village. They became a sort of role model for many." He paused. "They died just over a year ago, together. It was probably for the best. I can't imagine either of them being without the other."

"You're lucky to have grown up in such a loving environment."

"You mean you didn't?" He sounded surprised.

"No." That was the least she could say.

Bj?rn sighed. "I am lucky, but all the same, it's been hard to forge myself an identity amongst people who only ever saw me as a child, and Rorik's son."

Dunne remembered the miller's wife telling her exactly that. "Yes, I imagine it was, but I think that people who meet you now won't be making that mistake."

He threw her a sideways glance that caused her heart to trip in her chest. "You mean Saxon goddesses who made a man out of me? Those kind of people?"

An intense heat suffused her chest. If he was jesting about being seen as a boy, it meant that he had truly forgiven her. She decided to answer in the same tone. "You mean that there are more than one?"

"No." The glint of amusement in his eyes was replaced by a fierceness that quite took her breath away. "Believe me, there is only one such woman."

"Dunne? My God, it is you!"

Birgit threw herself into her arms, laughing and crying at the same time. Dunne was just as emotional. She had finally been reunited with her little sister. How could it have been five years since they had last set eyes on each other? She swore to herself that she would not let so long pass before she visited again.

"I can't believe you're really here," Birgit said, between two sobs. Then she drew back to take a look at her and gasped. "But you're hurt! Don't tell me you were attacked on the road!" A careful finger landed on the place by her temple where earlier that morning Bj?rn had told her the bruise was fading. Apparently it was still prominent enough to cause Birgit some alarm.

"Yes, I was attacked," she smiled. "But only by a sack of flour."

"A—"

"Don't worry, I'll explain later. I'm so glad to be here. Let me look at you."

She took a step back and saw that Birgit was not on her own. A little girl, about the same age as Dawn, was hiding under her skirts and looking at the scene with curious eyes. "Mama, who is this?"

"Edita, this is your aunt, my sister Dunne. I've told you all about my sisters, haven't I?"

"Yes."

In turn, Birgit glanced over to where Bj?rn was standing and arched a brow. She was clearly wondering who he might be. With braided hair and the short blond stubble covering his jaw, he had never looked more like a Norseman, which would only add to her confusion. Indeed, why would her sister be accompanied by a Norseman?

"This is Bj?rn, he lives in Frigyth's village." Dunne hesitated. How could she introduce him? Not as her lover, certainly…As a friend? It didn't seem right either. As if he'd sensed her hesitation, he moved forward.

"Since I was traveling to Lincoln's fair anyway, Frigyth's husband Sigurd asked me to accompany his sister-in-law, and make sure she didn't travel alone."

It was the perfect explanation. And yet…Her chest constricted because it made it look as if they were nothing special to one another and he had only accompanied her as a favor to another man. Was this the impression she wanted to give her sister? She wasn't sure. But what else could she say? That they had slept together? She would die of mortification.

"Come, you must be famished."

"Yes," Dunne answered gratefully. If she was hungry, she could not imagine how a man Bj?rn's size would fare. They had not eaten anything since the bread they had shared that morning.

They followed Birgit into a small but clean hut that smelled of dried herbs. While they washed their hands, her sister started ladling nettle soup into four wooden bowls.

"Hereward isn't here?" Dunne asked once they had finished a substantial and delicious meal. After the soup, they'd enjoyed a piece of roasted boar and some wild berry tartlets. It seemed she truly was the only one of the three sisters who didn't know how to cook.

"No. He's gone to see his brother in the village beyond the valley. He will be gone a few days, perhaps even a week."

Dunne tried hard to hide her relief. She would have time with her sister away from her brother-in-law. To say that she had never warmed to the man would be an understatement. He was not as bad as Toland had been, granted, but that was hardly a recommendation. Very few men were.

"So, you can sleep here with me on the pallet," Birgit concluded. "As to Bj?rn, perhaps he could?—"

"Don't worry about me. I can sleep in the back of the cart or just outside the hut. The weather is warm this time of year."

"Well, let me go and borrow some blankets from my friend, at least! I don't have any spare ones. Wait here, I'll be just a moment."

She left with Edita on her heels. Bj?rn turned to Dunne, who was finishing her last bite of tartlet.

"What's the problem with your sister's husband?" he whispered in her ear.

"What do you mean?"

"You appeared relieved we wouldn't have to see him." He hadn't missed her reaction and wondered what could have provoked it.

"Did I?"

His lips quivered. "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"You're avoiding answering me and asking questions instead. You often do that, you know."

"Do I?" He arched a brow to indicate she was only confirming what he'd just said. A delicious flush crept up her cheeks when she realized he was right. "No one's ever told me that before. Is it so very annoying?"

"No," he answered honestly. It should be. But somehow, with her, it wasn't. It was just another one of her traits, almost endearing. Besides she usually ended up answering anyway. She proved it when she waved her hand and sighed.

"Hereward is…not the man I would have chosen for my sister. He drinks too much and seems woefully inept at providing for a family."

"Mm. In other words, he reminds you of your father and your husband."

"Yes. Exactly. Not a recommendation, even if admittedly, he doesn't seem to have a cruel streak in him. I only met him briefly, though, as I had already left the house when he married Birgit, so I hope I'm mistaken." She paused as if remembering something. "It was a shock when he announced that, now he was married, he would return to his native village all the way in distant Mercia. She is our little sister. Frigyth and I had hoped we could keep an eye on her, see how she was treated. But we were denied the possibility."

Bj?rn nodded slowly. "So you did want to come here to assure yourself she was well?"

Something in his tone made her frown. "Yes. What else did you think I meant to do by coming all the way here?"

He skewered her with a direct stare. Surely she knew. "Avoid me?"

"Yes, that too." He had expected Dunne to demure or even deny it. But she surprised him by stiffening her spine and meeting his gaze full on. She seemed almost angry. "You would know all about avoiding someone, of course, as that is what you did when you left for Denmark last autumn."

The words were like a punch to the gut. He had fled. He simply had not expected her to throw it back into his face so blithely.

He straightened to his full height and returned the glare. If she wanted to play it that way, he would indulge her.

"It's not the same. I left because I had made a fool of myself, twice in as many weeks. I left because I struggled with the desire I felt for you, desire I didn't think you wanted to know about or shared. I left because I didn't want to make you ill at ease, not because I regretted something that had happened between us!"

She flinched, as he knew she would. He had hit a nerve. "I-I don't regret what?—"

"No? It looks that way to me." He did not even pretend to believe her. "Tell me, if I wanted to draw you in my arms again and kiss you, would you agree?"

He made to do just that but before he could touch her, Dunne took a step back. A glance toward the door made it clear she didn't want her sister to see them in a compromising position.

There was his skittish doe again. After all they had shared in the last few days, such behavior hurt. He'd thought they had made progress, he'd thought she had started to accept what they couldn't fight.

"I'm sorry, I just?—"

"Yes. I understand." He bunched his fists. "You don't regret what we did in private, but you can't bear anyone else to know about it. You can't bear the idea of being seen with a Norse ‘boy.' I was man enough for you when I was thrusting between your legs giving you pleasure, but you can't face people's opinion, you don't want your sister to know what we did together. Well, I care not what people think. Let them make lewd jokes about my supposed lustfulness. Let them mock me for wanting a woman old enough to be my mother, I care not."

Bj?rn knew he had made a mistake the moment he saw Dunne's face turn ashen. He yanked at a fistful of hair in dismay. Not again! Why did he have to say this? She'd hurt him, but it was no reason to hurt her back! It was just like the day he had unwittingly accused her of being little more than a whore. Every time he lost his temper, he ended up saying something he regretted and hurting her.

Dunne felt all the blood drain from her veins. "Is that…Is that what people are saying?" she asked in a voice she barely recognized as her own.

But she already knew it was. Leodred had told Bj?rn he could be her son the day they had gone to the hut. Even if it was not strictly true, as she was ten years older than him, not sixteen or seventeen, it was the first thing people thought when they saw them together. And Harald had warned her only the other day that she would want to be with a real man. That might well have been because he was jealous she had chosen to travel with Bj?rn but still. He had said it. He would never have said something like that if Bj?rn was the same age as she was.

"Well now you know why we can't be together," she whispered. If it had been only her facing disapproval, she might have been able to accept the situation. But she would not have Bj?rn ridiculed for wanting to be with her.

"No, I don't?—"

"Here you are. Two nice blankets for?—"

Birgit skidded to a halt when she saw the scene in front of her, the two of them glaring at each other. Dunne inwardly winced. So much for not wanting to betray any intimacy between them. She hadn't wanted to be seen kissing the handsome Norseman but being caught in the middle of a heated argument was not much better. Either way it would lead to uncomfortable questioning.

"What happened?" her sister asked, coming forward.

"Nothing." Predictably, Bj?rn was the first to regain his composure. He gave Birgit a smile and took the blankets she was holding. "Thank you. I will go and find a spot to sleep, if you don't mind. I'm rather tired."

Tucked up in bed together, Dunne and Birgit were whispering, just like they had as children. Only this time it was not through fear, but rather so as not to awaken the little girl sleeping in the next pallet.

"At Toland's death, I went to live in the Norsemen village with Frigyth and Sigurd," Dunne explained once she had told Birgit all about her unhappy marriage. "You would like our brother-in-law. He's utterly devoted to his wife and children."

"I always thought Frigyth would end up marrying Caedmon."

"So did I, if I'm honest. But it's hard to think he would have been a better match for her than Sigurd." Because she didn't want to talk about Bj?rn, she steered the conversation toward Hereward instead. "How about you? How have you been? Frigyth and I…well, we worry about you. That's why I'm here, really."

The chuckle her sister gave her was enough to reassure Dunne.

"No need to worry. I'm happy. I've been made welcome here in the village. I have Edita, of course, and every week I assemble the children in the village hall and show them various skills. Weaving, cooking, woodwork and the like. I play an important part in the community. It gives me purpose and satisfaction."

That was all very well, but surely that was not all? "Your husband…" Dunne's voice trailed off. What could she say?

Your husband is a drunkard, not a man anyone would want to be married to. Frigyth and I worry that he mistreats you. We worry you have to endure his attention in bed like our mother endured our father's.

This was no way to live. Dunne knew what it was like to be touched by someone you did not desire and even if Frigyth was now happily married to a man she loved, she, too, had suffered at the hands of a man she didn't want. They could not wish that on their little sister.

Birgit took her hand and squeezed. "Hereward is not the monster I feared he might be at first. You don't know him, but if you did, you would not object to him, I'm sure. He used to drink a lot when he lived in town, it is true, but I suppose it was inevitable while in the company of our father. He was alone in a strange town and unhappy. Since we've come back to his village, he's changed. He works hard and spends a lot of time helping his brothers. We have found a way to live together. And," she added, lowering her voice even further, "he doesn't bother me at night, which I appreciate."

"You mean…He takes his pleasure elsewhere?"

Dunne didn't know if that was better or worse. Certainly she had not minded Toland going to other women, as it meant he bothered her less. But it was also demeaning and had only encouraged him to compare her to other women and throw her lack of skill in bed back in her face.

Despite the darkness, it seemed to her that Birgit flushed. "He is near impotent, to tell you the truth. I know not the reason for it, but he has always found it difficult to perform his marital duty. When I found out I was with child, he was very pleased. I think he had lost hope of ever having children. He dotes on Edita. When she was born, Hereward and I agreed not to resume our marital life. It was a relief for us both, I think, and it brought us closer. You know I was never one to fawn over men. Unlike most of the women I know, I never feel desire for the men I meet. I much prefer to stay in the company of women and children. So you see," Birgit concluded, "you don't need to worry about me, I am content with my life."

After this confession, Dunne fell into deep musings. Even if she didn't have the loving marriage Frigyth had, Birgit had sorted her life in a manner which suited her and found contentment. Sometimes your path was the one you least expected. Who could have predicted on the day of her wedding that Birgit would end up miles away from home and happy with the half-drunk man standing by her side? Who would have imagined Frigyth living amongst Norsemen and adopting a little boy? Who could have thought that, after years of misery, the third sister would be offered a second chance at happiness with someone so much younger than her?

No.

Dunne shook her head, not convinced that was the path for her. Did her future lie with Bj?rn? She still wasn't sure she wanted a man in her life.

"Now, tell me about you," Birgit asked. "What do you intend to do now you're a widow?"

That was the question.

She turned to her sister and smiled. "Not now, if you don't mind. It's been a long and tiring journey. I would like to sleep."