Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

FERN

Coven Ashborne was small, but everyone had been so welcoming, despite the pain they were in. I found out The Chemist had killed two members of their family while he’d searched for someone to replace me, and the guilt of that was a weight I’d never be able to shake. Sutton had reassured me that no one blamed me, but I still felt that guilt.

Unlike other covens, they all lived together in a big, old mansion. It had seen better days but still managed to feel warm and had a really good vibe. I’d liked it here instantly. It’d turned out Agatheena was right; there were more of us with mixed demon and witch blood than I’d realized.

I’d been here for four days. Their house was safe, the wards incredibly strong. Sutton and Phoebe—another witch here—had taken me through the process of creating a ward myself. It was my first magic lesson, and I’d felt power course through me when I completed it.

Something had happened in Relic’s den, had been set free, when Sutton cleansed me of The Chemist’s magic. I felt the power inside me growing with every passing day. But as exciting as that was, and as much as I liked it here, something was missing. Something felt out of place.

I walked to the window and looked out onto the street. My heart thumped hard.

Relic. He was still down there, leaning against his bike. He looked up then, like he could sense me watching him, and straightened.

I missed him—so fucking much. Jagger had explained when he’d brought us here what happened when Lucifer summoned them to Hell. That Relic couldn’t stop it from happening and how time worked differently down there. Even though Relic had come back almost instantly for me, days had passed here.

I chewed my lip. He’d been calling and texting, and I’d forced myself to ignore them all. I hadn’t wanted to, but I didn’t want to make this harder on him—or me. The connection between us was so incredibly intense.

After the way it had affected him—gods, controlled him—I was never claiming another being’s soul for as long as I lived. I’d never do that to anyone ever again.

My phone chimed.

Relic: I’m so sorry, Tink. I would never abandon you willingly.

He’d said variations of the same thing over and over since I had gotten here. Maybe everything was twisted between us, but I couldn’t take it anymore, seeing him blame himself for something that was out of his control. I thought I’d gotten that across to him, that I didn’t blame him, at the clubhouse before I left, but obviously not. Or maybe this was just all part of our unhealthy connection.

Sutton walked up beside me and bit her lower lip. “He’s persistent.”

“Any luck?” I asked.

I’d found out that Sutton was not only an impressive healer, but she also worked as a medic. A medical clinic for non-humans had opened a couple of months ago, and Sutton had signed on. They had their own ambulance and everything.

She shook her head. “But Phoebe thinks she’s close to finding it. She’s feeling brave. She’s going to ask Rune for help tonight.”

We’d been searching for a way to release Relic from my deal, but since it wasn’t safe for me to leave the house just yet with Grady and The Chemist still out there, Phoebe had been poring over the books in the demon library for me.

Sutton’s familiar, Boo, poked his head up from the hood of her sweatshirt, and I gave his head a gentle pat. “I seriously owe her one. Rune is … he’s kind of terrifying.”

“I try to avoid any interaction with him at all costs. He makes me feel weird, like I’m not in full control anymore, you know?” she said.

I did. It was like he could force you to drop your wall and inhibitions. It wasn’t that he controlled or manipulated you; he just removed your filter completely.

She motioned to Relic. “So, what are you going to do?”

I couldn’t leave him out there all night, not again. The guilt was too much. “I know this is a big ask, but I think, if I could bring him in and show him around, let him see how safe it is, explain the wards, he might ease off a bit.”

She nodded. “You’re probably right. Let me check with the others, see if they’re okay with him coming in.” She fired off a group text, and my nerves went crazy when their replies came back almost instantly. She smiled. “They’re cool with it. Just don’t let him wander around on his own, and if he starts getting violent, we’ll extract him—swiftly.”

“He won’t.” I looked down at him again. “The way he was, when you were with me in his den, that’s not him. Not usually.”

But if he did lose it for some reason, the ward had a built-in safety mechanism. If his invitation was rescinded by the members of the coven, he would be bound in magic and thrown from the house.

“Thank everyone for me, will you?” I said, then headed along the hall and downstairs.

My heart raced as I unlocked the door. When I walked out, Relic watched me approach through the gate, and he instantly moved to meet me, curling his fingers around the bars.

“Hey,” I said.

His gaze did a sweep of me from head to toe. “How’re you feeling, sweetness?” He was trying so hard to keep the growl from his voice, to look like he was calm and unaffected, but his voice sounded kind of distorted, like it sometimes did around me, and his chest was rising and falling faster than usual.

“I’m okay.” I flashed him my new teeth. “I’m like a squirrel.” I tapped on the front ones. “It wasn’t the first time I’ve had to grow a new set.”

Relic didn’t smile back—no, his nostrils flared, and the muscle in his jaw jumped. “Don’t joke about that, Tink. Don’t ever joke about that.”

“Right, sorry.” I slid my hands into my pockets. “I don’t blame you, you know? You had no control over what happened. I know you wouldn’t have left me if Lucifer hadn’t summoned you. You don’t need to keep apologizing, and you don’t need to worry about me anymore, I promise.”

“Not going to stop worrying about you, Fern.”

I stepped closer. “I figured you’d say that. So, how about I show you around, let you see how safe it is here? Would that help?”

He gripped the bars tighter. “It’s a start.”

“Okay then.” I lifted the cover over the keypad beside the gate latch. “You can come in, but you have to be good. No snarling or breaking shit.”

“Best behavior.” He flashed a grin.

My heart did a stupid fucking flutter, and I couldn’t stop my own smile as I tapped in the code for the gate. It beeped, and the lock disengaged. As soon as I pulled the gate open, he strode through, shoved it closed behind him, and advanced on me. I took a step back, and he froze. Then I cursed because I didn’t want him to think I was scared of him. I wasn’t. It was the complete opposite. And to prove it, and despite knowing I shouldn’t, I took a stepped forward. He watched me, and slowly, cautiously, did the same.

“It’s been weird being away from you,” I admitted.

At my words, he took another step forward, and so did I, and as soon as I did, he closed the space between us with a growl and scooped me up into his arms, wrapping them around me tight.

“You fucking scared the shit out of me, Tinker Bell. Thought I’d fucking lost you.”

A feeling rose up inside me, so overwhelming that tears sprang to my eyes. All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tight, and for the first time in four days, everything felt right.

He started toward the front door, and I laughed, but it came out shaky.

“You can put me down now.”

“Not yet.” He carried me up the steps and through the front door.

Everyone had obviously made themselves scarce because the foyer and main rooms were now empty. Relic pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I felt his reluctance when he finally lowered me to my feet.

I quickly wiped my eyes and took a step back. “So, um … this is obviously the entrance.” I motioned to the wide opening on the right. “That’s the living room, where everyone hangs out and watches TV or whatever.”

“What is this place?” he asked, looking around.

“The house was owned by a male named Reginald Ashborne. He was like me, mixed blood, witch and demon, like most of us here—and like us, he was rejected by his own coven. So, he formed this one for displaced witches. He passed away a long time ago, but the coven survived.”

“Yeah?” He smiled, but it looked a little pained. “You found your people, huh?”

“I did.” I rested my hand on his tattooed forearm. “I never thought they existed, people like Sutton. They’ve been really cool, Relic, so welcoming.”

He slid his thumb down my cheek. “Fucking love that for you, Tink.”

I smiled up at him, his words filling me with warmth. But why did it hurt as well? Probably because this felt like goodbye, and I guessed it was. The next time I saw him, I’d hopefully have a way to end our deal and release his soul, a way to free him from this insane, ever-growing connection between us. I’d be able to let go of these feelings I had for him and the stupid hope I’d let myself have when I was with him.

“Even after everything, losing two females from this coven because of me, they still—”

“No,” he said. “Don’t do that. None of that was your fault, Fern. You hear me? It was him. It was all fucking him.”

I drew in a shaky breath. “I know, I do. It’s just hard, knowing what he did to those females.”

“Fern—”

“I’m okay. I promise. Better than I have been in a long time.”

“Baby, you don’t need to pretend to be strong for me.”

I barely suppressed my shiver when he called me that. “I’m not, I promise.”

He studied me in a way that made me want to squirm. Time to change the subject. “So, um, Sutton actually found my name in the records at the witches council, in both the Gannon and Burnside family trees.” I opened my phone and showed him the picture. “That’s me there.” I pointed out my real name, not afraid of him seeing it, of him knowing the truth, showing him the red line through it. “When they banish you, like they did me and Agatheena, they cross you out in blood so there’s no coming back. I assume it was Gerald, my mother’s husband, who did the honors when he realized I wasn’t his, and Coven Burnside has already proven they’re bigoted and hateful.”

“Your name’s Estelle?”

I nodded. “But not anymore. I haven’t been her in a very long time. I left her behind the first time I escaped …” I stopped myself from saying his name. I didn’t want to talk about that monster, not right now.

“Why Fern? How’d you choose it?” he asked, that golden gaze searching my face.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. “The first night after I escaped, I slept under this massive fern in the forest. It made me feel safe for the first time since my mom died. The name just kind of felt right, I guess.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “Honeycutt—well, my mom always called me honey, and all I had left of her was this.” I pointed to the scar on the tip of my finger, where she’d cut me the day she died. “Stupid, I know, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight at that time, and the name kind of stuck.”

“Not stupid, Fern. Not fucking stupid at all.”

The intensity he was giving off had me swallowing audibly.

I smiled, trying to lighten the moment a little. “So, you want the grand tour?”

“I’d like that,” he said easily, even though his eyes were saying so much more after everything I’d just shared.

I showed him the kitchen, the dining room, and the backyard. And besides him sniffing the air, growling, and asking how many males lived in the house, he’d been on his best behavior. I explained the wards and how they worked as we headed upstairs.

“This is my room.” I opened the door.

He walked in after me and shut it behind us, taking it all in. “It’s nice. Big.”

“Sutton and Phoebe have been teaching me magic,” I said, unable to hold in my excitement. “I can only do a few simple spells, but I feel this … power inside me. It’s big, Relic. I just don’t know how to reach it yet. Sutton said a lot of us struggle with our magic for a lot of different reasons. Mainly due to emotional blocks.”

This was hard, but I wanted to share this with Relic. I wanted him to know I wasn’t just the broken, frightened female he’d been forced to look after or the abused creature he’d rescued, that I was sorting my shit out.

“For me, I developed the block when I was a child. I was rejected by my family and my coven. They despised me so much for what I was, believed I was so below them that they sold me to a monster, not caring what happened to me. They rejected me in every way they could, so I rejected them the only way I could—by locking down my powers without even realizing I was doing it.”

“They fucking sold you to that monster?” Relic asked, and I didn’t miss that every vein and tendon I could see strained under his tattooed skin.

He’d seen me in that place after The Chemist did what he did best—torture me, so there was no reason to hide it, not anymore.

Still, I was scared. I hated talking about this part of my life. I realized I was tapping my fingers against my thigh, and took a steadying breath.

“When I was seven years old, my grandfather drove me out of the city and took me to a big building and handed me over to The Chemist.”

“The Chemist?”

“That’s what he calls himself. He does experiments. He’d make us sick, but I was the only one who didn’t die. No matter what he did to me, I survived. So when I got older, he’d let Ghoul feed on me until I couldn’t move, then pump me full of his newest poison, hoping that in my weakened state, his viruses would win out—”

“Who the fuck is Ghoul, Fern?” he snarled. “What do you mean, he fed on you?”

I swallowed thickly. “A blood drinker he kept in a hole in the basement. He’d starve him, then take me down there and he’d … drink from me. That’s why I didn’t want to drink from you, from anyone, why I was so scared I’d hurt you—”

Relic’s chest was rising and falling rapidly. “Because you’d been hurt.”

I nodded, licking my dry lips. “The Chemist couldn’t understand why I survived, why I recovered from everything he did to me. If his viruses were strong enough to kill full-blooded demons, immortals, then why not me? He wanted to create the ultimate demon-killing virus, and I guess he decided that I was the ultimate demon.”

“That’s why you were so sick when I found you—one of his viruses?” he growled, not waiting for an answer. “What else did he do? Did he force himself on you, Fern?”

Humiliation burned my face, even though I knew it wasn’t my fault and that I had nothing to be humiliated about. The thought of Relic finding me like that killed me. He’d probably thought he’d already seen me at my lowest, and then he’d walked in on an experiment, on my punishment.

“No, The Chemist never did that, but he’s been trying to develop a virus since I was a child, one that’s transmitted through bodily fluid. So, he injected his viruses—sometimes directly into my bloodstream, and sometimes, he put them inside me … in other ways.” Nausea churned in my stomach.

Relic’s eyes turned red, and his fingers were in tight fists. “I’m going to kill him, Fern. I need you to know that, to believe it. Whatever it takes, I will hunt that fucking sick fuck down, and I will make him scream until his throat is raw and he’s choking on his own blood. I’ll tear his limbs from his body one at a time before I gut him and force-feed him his own organs.”

I blinked over at him, my heart slamming in my chest. “That was very, um … creative.”

“I’m seriously fucking motivated.”

My lips curled up, and warmth filled me. Would he still care once I released him? Once I released his soul? “I appreciate it.”

“I need you to stay safe. If anything happens to you—”

“I haven’t left the house, and I don’t plan to, not until we know …” I slid my hands into my pockets. “Not until I know it’s safe.”

“Good. That’s good.” His gaze held mine, and his Adam’s apple slid up and down his throat. “I’ve missed you, sweetness.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’ve missed you too,” I said, even though I knew I shouldn’t. Even though I knew it was pointless, that there was no future here. But for the first time in my life, it felt safe to open myself up to someone else. Relic was a good male; no matter what happened after all of this, I knew that with everything in me. “You have no idea how much.”

“I think I might,” he said.

I needed him to stop, or I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions. His scent filled my lungs, his warmth somehow reaching out and wrapping itself around me. When I was close to him, the numbness dissolved, exposing all my raw edges, and it was terrifying. He made me feel so goddamn strong, but also so incredibly weak. Everything about him terrified me and enticed me.

The silence of the room enveloped us.

“You make me feel warm,” I said, unable to keep the words in.

He didn’t grin or make a joke—no, an intensity filled his eyes that made me shiver. “And you, Fern Honeycutt, make me feel so many fucking things, things I never thought were possible.”

I wanted that to be true—so fucking badly.

“Kiss me.” The words fell from my lips before I knew they were coming, but I didn’t take them back. I didn’t want to.

This was so incredibly selfish of me, but I couldn’t help myself. I missed him holding me, touching me, looking at me the way only he could. Relic was the only being who had ever made me feel this way, like I was more than just a broken mess.

He was too lovely, too perfect, too handsome, too strong—just too fucking everything—to resist.

I almost expected him to deny me, to tell me no, to say I didn’t know what I was asking for, or that I was too fragile or confused.

He didn’t. He growled so low that I felt it in my belly. Hooking me around the waist, he hauled me off my feet, one muscled arm holding me up and tight against him. His other hand went to the back of my head, his fingers thrusting into my hair, and dragged his nose up my throat, scenting me roughly. Shivers slid through me a moment before he tipped my head back, and his mouth came down on mine.

Every part of me came alive.

I was wanted. At this moment, I was truly wanted.

And I was safe in Relic’s arms.