Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

FERN

Every single one of my nerve endings was on fire , sizzling through my limbs, my insides. The tips of my fingers burned hot, and it felt as if hundreds of blades and needles were being pulled from my flesh by a huge magnet, through organs and bones and veins, slicing a path out of me, no matter what was in the way.

I screamed again, trying to fight, but big hands that scalded my skin held me down. There was a heavy weight on top of me, and I gasped as, one by one, those blades and needles popped through my flesh, leaving a jagged path in their wake. Every release from my flesh was agony and relief in equal measure.

Something burned my throat, and warmth trickled down the side of my face. My body was hot, then ice cold, and I wanted to curl into a ball, but the hands holding me down wouldn’t let me.

I gulped down breath after breath as something powerful washed through me in ever-increasing waves. Oh, sweet Lucifer, it was unbearable. I needed to release it; I needed to get it out. When I screamed again, it burst from me like a dam breaking.

I fell back, limp, and the weight on top of me and the hot hands holding me down were gone.

“Fern?” a voice I didn’t recognize called through the darkness. “Fern? Can you open your eyes?”

I tried to blink, then again.

Something warm and damp was dragged across my eyes with care.

“Now, try again,” that same voice said—a kind voice, a familiar voice even though I was sure I’d never heard it before in my life.

I did as she’d said and blinked again. A female with honey-blond hair and demon eyes smiled down at me.

“Hey, you’re back,” she said.

I trusted no one, but I instantly trusted this female. She’d been here with me—her voice, her warmth. Somehow, I’d seen into the deepest part of her, or maybe she’d shared that with me, but I knew without any doubt that she was good and kind.

A low, rough sound—no, a growl—rolled through the room, but it’d been there the whole time, hadn’t it?

I turned toward it.

Toward Relic.

He stood by the door, his glowing golden eyes on me, while his alpha and another male, Brick, held him back. Jagger stood across the room beside the dresser, his eyes averted. That was when I realized I was naked and covered in … something, some kind of potion. I recognized the scents of several herbs and oils.

The female quickly draped a blanket over me. “What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked.

I turned to Relic again. He’d stopped fighting, but his chest heaved, and those eyes were still locked on me.

“I was strapped down, in that room, in that place …” I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment. “How did I … how am I here?”

“Relic tracked the male who took you from the forest,” Jagger said.

I searched Relic’s face, licking my dry lips. “You left me there, all alone.”

“No, Tink, let me explain—”

“I turned around, and you were gone.”

“Fuck,” he snarled. “I was summoned. I didn’t have a choice. I would never have left you like that. I would never have done that. Fern—”

“No,” I whispered. “Stop talking. I need you to stop talking.”

Images flashed through my mind: Grady, The Chemist, and his creatures. My skin crawled.

I didn’t want to be here anymore. I knew Relic. He was good; he was a good male. I’d convinced myself that he’d abandoned me, but that was what that place did to me—it broke me down and made me doubt everything and everyone. But now, I was back. Now that I’d seen him, I knew the truth. I believed him. He would never have left me if he’d had a choice.

But right now, I didn’t care what happened in that forest, where Relic had gone or why. I just needed to get away from this place. I wanted to scrub my skin, the poison, the twisted sickness off of me.

Relic was suffering because of me. This thing between us was dangerous, toxic. I was toxic. I didn’t want to taint him; I didn’t want to spread my filth all over the only place I’d ever felt safe.

“Please … I need to leave,” I said to the female.

“You can come with me.” She squeezed my hands. “There are others like us. We have a safe place. You’re more than welcome, Fern.”

I nodded, and she helped me get off the bed. I didn’t bother hiding my body; it didn’t even feel like a part of me anymore. I felt disconnected from it, like it belonged to someone else. That was how it had been while I was with The Chemist the first time, and when Grady took me back, I slipped back into that numbness like an old, worn coat. It had surrounded me instantly, protected me.

“You are not fucking leaving, Fern,” Relic said, voice vibrating. “I won’t let you go.”

The female helped me dress and gather my things. I couldn’t look at him while he raged and fought.

“Go with them,” Warrick barked at Jagger. “Make sure they get there safely.”

Jagger nodded and ushered us from the room, but I stopped beside Relic.

“Thank you,” I rasped. I owed him that—and so much more. More than I’d ever know how to repay him. “For coming to get me. For saving me. But this thing between us—whatever it is—it’s not good, Relic, and it’s … too much. I’ll find a way to release you. To break our deal—”

“Fuck the deal. You are not fucking leaving me, Fern.”

Why did this hurt so much? I guessed this was how people must feel when they broke up with someone. I’d never had a boyfriend, or even a best friend, or any kind of real relationship. What I’d had with Relic for that short time was the closest to those things I’d ever had, and I’d forced him into it. How fucking pathetic was that?

“I’m sorry … for doing this to you.”

“You didn’t do anything to me,” he bit out. “Do not fucking leave,” he demanded.

I’d stolen his soul—that was why he was acting like this. It was the only reason he wanted me around. After all I’d put him through, there was no way he’d want me here otherwise.

“If you’re leaving, you need to do it now,” Warrick growled, his beast shining in his eyes.

The female wrapped her arm around my shoulders and led me away while Relic roared my name over and over again, shattering me into a million pieces.