Chapter 8

For the first time in his life, Danny discovered that time did actually fly when you were having fun. Classes were so easy now, and he was keeping up with the work no problem while getting full marks on everything. He did all the extra credit he could too, which helped bump his grades even more, and even that was kind of a breeze?

On top of everything, Manuel had turned out to be… pretty great. He was kind of a talker, so during lulls in statistics class, Danny found out that Manuel was in the culinary program but was also taking classes on business administration and restaurant management. There was some crossover with Danny's business law class which led to even more conversation, and next thing Danny knew, he and Manuel were friends.

Which certainly made Professor Edison's class a little more bearable.

School suddenly going so well gave Danny plenty of opportunity to take shifts at Grand Azteca. In just a few weeks, he had more money coming in than he even knew what to do with, on top of always having leftovers to take home. All the money he could spare got put into his savings, and watching that balance grow was…

It felt good. It felt really good.

It made Danny think about actually being able to break away from Clint sooner over later.

Because with everything else going well, Clint was the one dark cloud that still hung over his head–and it was a big one. Clint had caught onto the fact that Danny was somehow less miserable and stressed out, so he had been doing his level best to demand more and more.

Danny refused to let Clint burst his bubble though. He had put up with a lot of shit in his life. He hadn't made it this far just to buckle when some rich asshole pushed his boundaries.

It sucked, but Danny bent over when Clint wanted him to, bit his tongue when new bruises appeared, and got through it.

***

"A sugar art exhibit?" Haru asked, taking the flier that Danny handed him and looking down at it with apparent interest. They were meeting at the cafe again after Danny was done with Lily, and Danny couldn't help but start to feel like the cafe was their cafe. Haru had asked Danny out to meet him so often that Danny just…

Kind of thought of it as special.

"Yeah," Danny said, trying not to feel shy. "It's kinda like glass sculpture but with sugar? Sort of the same principle of working with molten hot material that could burn your skin off. My friend Manuel's a part of the show, and he invited me. I thought, maybe uh, you'd be interested?"

"Of course I am." Haru smiled at him, looking so pleased. "I'd love to go."

"Okay," Danny said, smiling back. It was nice to have done something right. To have offered an activity Haru would enjoy. "Great. And uh…"

"Yeah?"

"Manuel recommended this documentary on sugar art," Danny said in a burst. "If you maybe wanted to learn more about it? It's pretty interesting–I only watched a little before I thought, um, that… maybe you'd want to watch it together?"

"Oh," Haru said, eyes bright. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd love that."

Danny couldn't do anything about the warmth that flowed through him. "Okay."

"Do you uh…would you want to watch it at my place?" Haru asked. "Maybe an evening you don't have class? Then we'd get it in before the exhibit next Saturday."

"Yeah," Danny stumbled to say. "Y-yeah, that'd be great. Um. Tuesday or Thursday?" He'd just ask to not be scheduled at work whichever day Haru picked.

"I could do Tuesday," Haru said with a grin. "Get to see you a little sooner."

Danny's cheeks heated so fast he was almost surprised Haru didn't comment on it. "Um," he said. "You too. I-I mean it'll be…nice. To see you Tuesday."

"Yeah?" Haru asked, expression pleased.

"A-and to watch the sugar art documentary," Danny added in a rush. "With you."

"I'm looking forward to it," Haru said. "What would you like to have for dinner?"

"Have for dinner?" Danny parroted, confused by the change in topic.

"Of course," Haru said. "I'm not having you over Tuesday evening without feeding you. So you'll have dinner with me, and then we'll make popcorn for the documentary."

"We will?" Danny asked, smiling now. "For a documentary?"

"Unless you have something against popcorn," Haru said. "It's an entertainment food. I can also get candy, if you like that. Do you have a favorite movie theater candy?"

"I've never bought candy at a movie theater," Danny said with a laugh. He barely went to the movies at all, but when he did go, he certainly didn't spring for snacks. "I have no idea."

Haru looked considering. "No idea at all?"

Danny shook his head.

"Well, that's okay," Haru said magnanimously. "We'll find out then. What did you want to have for dinner?"

***

Much later, after Danny was showered and dressed and picking at his entree, Clint crooked a finger at him from across the table. "Come here, pet."

Danny darted a look around. They were in a secluded corner of the restaurant, one Clint must have paid handsomely for, but still–

"Do I need to ask again?" Clint asked, voice silk.

Face burning with shame, Danny slipped out of his seat and into Clint's lap.

It wasn't like everyone here hadn't already taken one look at him and known what he was for anyway, Danny thought dully as Clint's eyes glinted with cruel humor.

He just needed to do this. One thing at a time.

It would be fine.

***

Danny had sort of expected to feel awkward being in Haru's home, but it was nothing of the sort. The house was a comfortable size and tastefully decorated, full of beautiful art and personal photos, such a departure from Clint's wealthy-but-minimal-chic aesthetic. When Danny couldn't help looking around with interest, Haru gave him an impromptu tour, talking Danny through different art pieces and telling stories of how Haru acquired them while traveling. Danny found himself enjoying it immensely, and for once wasn't self-conscious about asking follow-up questions.

Haru seemed perfectly happy to just talk to him. Like Danny was someone worth talking to. Spending time with.

The easy conversation carried through their pizza dinner, and then Haru was leading Danny into his living room, with its cozy looking couch and impressively sized TV.

"You make yourself comfortable," Haru said, handing Danny the bowl of popcorn he'd made. "And I'll be right back. Just gotta grab something before we start the documentary."

"Okay," Danny said easily, taking a seat on the couch. He made sure to sit at the very end, to give Haru plenty of room when he returned, and nibbled on a handful of popcorn.

"Alright," Haru said a moment later, coming back into the room carrying a large tote bag. "Here we go. Now you can figure out your favorite."

"Figure out my—?" But then Haru upended the tote bag onto the couch cushions next to Danny, and over a dozen different movie theater candy boxes rained down out of it.

"Did you buy out an entire candy store?" Danny stammered as he took in the boxes.

"Nope," Haru said cheerfully. "Just the candy section at the grocery store. Figured this was the easiest way for you to learn what you liked."

"You didn't—Haru, you didn't have to do that," Danny said, still shocked. It was both incredibly thoughtful and incredibly silly for the man to have done this.

"Oh no," Haru said in mock seriousness. "I totally did. What if I want to take you out to a movie and we get there and then you have no idea what snack to pick? You might end up with something you don't like, and we can't have that." He picked up a box of snow caps and shook it. "This way you can try everything. Process of elimination."

"I-I don't know if I can eat twelve boxes of candy," Danny said, suddenly afraid that he'd be expected to. He hated wasting food and he didn't want to disappoint Haru and—

Haru's expression turned from playfully-serious to concerned. "You're not going to be eating twelve boxes of candy, Danny. I mean, unless you really want to? You're taking tastes from twelve boxes of candy. You don't have to finish anything. And you certainly don't have to eat more of something if you don't like it or don't want to."

Danny's mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. "Oh," he managed after a too long pause. "I… thank you. For thinking of me. This is, um, this is really cool."

Haru took a seat on the couch, the mountain of candy in between them. He gave Danny a crooked smile. "Not too much?"

Danny shook his head. "N-no. And uh, hey I mean, it might get us into the mindset of watching people make sugar art."

"That's the spirit," Haru said, holding out a box of sour gummy worms.

***

Danny had his astronomy lab on Wednesday nights. He kind of liked astronomy lab, liked Professor Smythe's teaching methods and learning about the stars, but they also spent a good amount of time outside looking at the sky, and Danny was always freezing by the time they headed back inside, warm coat or no. Tonight was no different, and by the time lab was over, he was very ready to go home, take a hot shower, eat dinner, and collapse into bed.

His phone chimed just as they were getting dismissed at ten.

Danny flinched. Of course it was Clint's chime.

He hurried out of class and went to lean against the wall, pressing his phone to his ear as he played the text message.

I've sent Ernie to pick you up, his phone's robot voice said as Danny's heart sank. He should be arriving in a few minutes. Don't keep him waiting, pet.

Danny clenched his fingers around his phone. He'd had his business law class earlier and had just finished astronomy and had been at campus almost all day, getting homework done in between his classes. He was tired and he hadn't eaten since lunch and he had statistics tomorrow morning at nine.

And there was no telling how long Clint would want Danny to entertain him. No way to know what Clint would expect him to do.

Ok, Danny texted back, feeling numb.

He swallowed and made himself push away from the wall. He needed to go outside and wait for Ernie's car. He needed to not tie himself into knots worrying or panicking about what Clint might do to him. It didn't matter, really, because he'd already agreed to this.

One thing at a time.

***

"These star charts are amazing," Haru said with naked admiration when Danny offered his journal up for inspection. He'd been working on it for the better part of two weeks, and had figured that Haru ought to see it, considering that Danny had done most of the star-gazing recorded in the journal while they had been together. "Your teacher's going to love it."

Danny ducked his head, trying to hide the blush. He couldn't deny that he had worked hard on it, but it felt weird to be praised for a school project.

"No, Danny, I mean it," Haru said. "This is art."

Danny bit his lip, cheeks hot. He'd tried to make the chart look good, yeah. Figured adding some colors couldn't hurt. He'd had to improvise, since it wasn't like he had a lot of stuff to color with, but it turned out that highlighter could look pretty nice, in a pinch. He told Haru this, ending with a halting, "You really like it?"

"Of course I do," Haru said.

"Want me to make you one?" Danny asked, before he could think about how stupid it was to offer. Haru had actual art on the walls in his house, of course he wouldn't want—

"Really?" Haru asked, looking delighted. Like Danny making him a star chart colored with highlighter was this incredible thing.

"I mean sure," Danny stammered. "Yeah. If you want me to."

"That'd be amazing," Haru said. "I'd love one." His smile turned mischievous. "If you're making another star chart, does that mean I get to stargaze with you again?"

Danny's blush deepened. "I mean if you want. I'd, um, I'd like that."

"So would I," Haru said. He didn't reach out to touch Danny, but for a moment Danny wondered what would happen if Haru would. How it would feel, to have Haru's fingers wrap around his own, or to feel the man's warmth at Danny's back. "Are you free this Friday night?"

"Oh, I…" The warm feeling doused quickly. "I have plans Friday," Danny said, breaking eye contact. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Haru said easily. "Saturday or Sunday? I'm pretty open this weekend after the sun goes down."

"Not out partying?" Danny asked, trying for teasing.

Haru snorted. "If you think I'm the partying type after two weeks of listening to me go on about constellations, I might need to seriously reconsider our friendship."

Friendship. Right. That's what this was. Haru was Danny's friend.

It was okay, if they were friends. Then Danny wasn't leading him on. Or expecting or hoping for anything else. Haru was sweet to him, in a way Danny didn't deserve, but it was something he didn't want to fight.

He just knew how badly he was flirting with danger. Danny had been able to keep Haru in the dark about Clint, but it tasted more and more of dishonesty in a way that turned Danny's stomach. And if Clint were to find out about Haru…

For the most part Danny tried not to think about it, like he always did. He knew he was in over his head, but he wasn't yet in a place where he could afford to mess up with Clint. And for all that he hated that he was lying to Haru by omission, he couldn't make himself give Haru up either.

At the end of the day, Danny knew he was being stupid and selfish. In another life, maybe, he had his shit together. Someone might have cared about him enough to make sure he got accommodations earlier on, so he didn't struggle with school for years. Maybe he'd even have a job he liked by now, one that let him be independent. In another life, Danny wasn't a sugar baby to an asshole who got off on the fact that Danny was struggling. He'd be able to spend time with Haru without guilt eating away at him.

Even if Haru was just his friend, Danny felt like he was emotionally cheating on him somehow. He shouldn't be spending time with Haru, hungry for the man's attention, while Clint always lived in the back of Danny's head.

But that wasn't the life he had, so he had to live with the one he got.

At least everything else was going well

***

"You've been doing so much better in your classes recently," Clint said when he made Danny show him the results of his last statistics test. Danny braced himself at the silken tone. It might almost sound like approval coming from anyone else, but Danny knew better. He wasn't going to like whatever came out of Clint's mouth next.

"Yeah," he tried. "I've been working hard."

"Mm." Clint stroked his hair, and Danny managed not to shudder. "Maybe this means you don't need those study sessions with Lacy anymore."

"Lily," Danny said automatically, mind racing. He didn't want to lose Saturday mornings with Lily. Even if he hadn't needed them as much for actual studying lately, Lily was… Lily was his friend. It wasn't time Danny wanted to lose with her.

He didn't want this to be another thing Clint took away.

"Lily's pretty much the reason my grade is where it is," Danny said in a rush. "I don't–I don't want to lose the help and then have my grades slip–"

"Oh pet," Clint smirked. "You really can't do it on your own, could you?"

Danny looked away. He didn't have to pretend at shame. Not because Clint's words were true, because Danny could do it on his own . He was good at math when he was able to do it his way. But this was what people like Clint thought of him. What they'd always think of him.

"Oh well." Clint sighed. "Certainly, we can't waste my tuition by letting you fail basic college math."

Fine. Danny would take it. Clint could think whatever he wanted about him. Danny just needed to keep getting by.

***

"Okay," Haru said after he and Danny had their drinks and pastries in front of them at the cafe. "You have to let me explain."

"Explain what?" Danny asked dubiously.

Haru grinned at him and held out a medium-ish flat box, wrapped in non-descript brown paper.

Danny took it, confused. It wasn't very heavy. "What's this?"

"See," Haru said, eyes twinkling. "First you open it, and then you let me explain."

"Um, okay." Danny obeyed, carefully peeling back the tape and removing the wrapping, to reveal a very colorful tin. A 72-pencil pack prismacolor tin.

Danny stared at it.

Haru rubbed the back of his neck. "I had a therapist suggest I try those meditative coloring books a while back. You know, those ones for adults with the teeny tiny squares?" He grinned ruefully. "Turns out they drive me nuts. And so I've just had these sitting around collecting dust, and well, since you like to draw…"

Danny still didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry they're not, like, artist grade or anything," Haru said, actually sounding apologetic. "I could get you those, if you wanted–"

"Haru," Danny cut him off, trying not to choke at the absurdity. "No–what? These are great. Thank you. I–" Danny didn't have any art supplies at all. It never occurred to him to spare the cash for it. He sketched with regular old pens and pencils and, as Haru knew, improvised with highlighter on occasion.

He swallowed back the feelings. "This is really nice. Thank you."

"Of course," Haru said. "I wasn't sure if they'd be up to standards, because what do I know about art? When I was buying them originally at the store I just asked one of the sale's associates there what was good and she pointed out these, and in hindsight it might have been an upsell because what did I need seventy-two colored pencils for but I'm glad to give them to you." His smile was bright and warm and everything about Haru was so charming. Danny didn't know what to do in the face of it. "I hope you enjoy using them."

"I'm sure I will," Danny said, maybe hugging the tin to his chest the way he wanted to hug Haru right now. "I've never had anything this nice. I don't remember the last time I even used colored pencils. Thank you for thinking of me."

"You're welcome," Haru said. And then, quieter, "I like thinking of you. And I like thinking of things that'll make you happy."

Danny's breath caught.

"You deserve nice things," Haru continued, still quiet as Danny hung on every word. He looked right at Danny, and his expression was soft, but it charged the air between them. "You deserve being happy."

"I…" Danny wet his lips. "I am," he said. "I'm—I'm a lot happier. Since meeting you."

Haru leaned forward. "Danny—"

The too-familiar chime of Danny's phone was startling, like a dousing of icy water, and he saw Haru's lips tighten before Danny had to look away.

"Sorry," Danny said, wishing desperately that he could just ignore it. It was eleven o'clock on Saturday morning. Clint had had Danny over for hours on Friday. What could he possibly want now? "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Haru said quickly. The smile he gave Danny then was small and hollow. "It's okay if…something came up. It's fine."

Filled with shame, Danny pulled his phone out of his pocket to check Clint's text.