Chapter 5

Danny spent most of his Friday morning doing an incredulous round-up of all the new resources he had at his disposal. Audiobooks of all his textbooks. A text-to-speech reader apparently patented by the Goldburgs, Jacob's parents. Recordings for his astronomy and business law classes, Manuel's notes from algebra. It was amazing and overwhelming and Danny spent hours organizing everything just so and then listening to all his lessons multiple times just because he could.

He had been blitzing through his homework all week too. It was the normal amount of work, but between being able to just go back and listen to the questions instead of having to struggle to read through them halved the time it took to do it all. Even though he still had to be careful writing out his answers, for the first time in his whole life, learning wasn't painful.

It was even kind of fun.

Danny had always liked to learn. His dad… his dad used to say he was a sponge with how he soaked up information. Back before the heart attack that took him. Before Danny entered the foster system. Before adults gave up on him because he was too dumb.

Danny had forgotten what it was like to want to ask questions, instead of wanting to disappear into the ground.

Maybe that was why he felt so giddy when Haru texted him next, saying he had been dying to talk to Danny in person to ask for more details on how the week has gone, and would he be interested in a late lunch? Danny didn't even think twice about saying yes. He felt jittery with possibility for the first time in his whole life, that things might actually turn out okay for him. He wanted to see Haru again, and tell him so. Thank him in person for the miracle he'd brought to Danny's life.

Haru's office was apparently close to Danny's apartment, and he asked if Danny wanted to be picked up. This time Danny didn't hesitate to say yes.

"Hey!" Haru greeted him with a smile from the driver's seat when Danny opened the car door. "Come on, get in, get in, it's freezing!"

Danny grinned at him and slid inside, the wind blowing the door shut for him. It was snowing lightly again, but with the wind, nothing had settled on his shoulders. He was happy that it was a warm-coat day though. The weather would have been a nightmare in Clint's stupid too-thin present. "Hi. Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem," Haru said easily. "You're on the way."

"On the way?"

"I mean," Haru said. "If you're cool with me picking the restaurant? My treat, of course."

"Oh." Danny had honestly not even thought that far. He'd just been too excited and happy to see Haru, to tell him in person what had been going on. "Yeah, sure. Wherever you want to go."

"Great," Haru said, pulling away from the curb. "I promise to take you somewhere good." Then he glanced over at Danny, looking excited and hopeful. "So? How have things been?"

"Really good," Danny said in a rush, knee bouncing up and down with restless energy.

"Yeah?" Haru's smile got brighter. "I'm all ears."

Danny wasn't much of a talker, not really. A lifetime of trying to be quiet and out of the way so people wouldn't notice you tended to do that to a person. But he was bursting with how much of a relief the last week had been, and when he started telling Haru about it, he couldn't seem to stop.

"—and the text-to-speech reader is amazing. It works on all of the worksheet handouts, so I don't have to spend like an hour trying to figure out the questions I'm supposed to answer before I can work on answering them and…" Danny took a deep breath. "It's just… it's just been really good."

"I'm so happy to hear that," Haru said, and he sounded sincere. "Really, Danny. That's great. I'm so happy for you."

"Yeah." Danny fidgeted in his seat before offering, "I've never looked forward to school before. But this week I actually felt like I was learning stuff. You know?"

"Yeah," Haru said softly. "Yeah, I get that. I'm so glad things look like they'll be changing for the better."

"Thank you for… for helping with that," Danny said, unable to look at Haru while he did so.

"Absolutely," Haru said. "Anytime. This calls for celebration sushi for sure." Then he paused. "I mean…if you like sushi? I guess it wouldn't be that great a celebration if you hated it. Sorry, I-I sort of assumed, but it just crossed my mind that there are people in this world who don't like sushi."

"I like sushi," Danny assured him. "I don't eat it super often, but I like it. So it'll be a nice treat."

"Oh awesome," Haru said, looking relieved. "Maybe we should talk about what kinds of foods you do and don't like, so the next time I'm in charge of picking the restaurant I won't accidentally take you out for pizza if you're gluten free. Are you gluten free?"

"I'm not, no," Danny said, amused and a little charmed. He wasn't used to men thinking of his needs or tastes. Also….next time? That sounded as though Haru was already planning for future meetings. But Haru had done so much for Danny already. What more could he possibly give? "I ate that croissant sandwich you brought to the library, remember? I don't have any food allergies. And I'm really, really not picky. I'd love to go out for pizza sometime." He meant it too.

He wouldn't be at all opposed to seeing more of Haru.

Haru beamed at him. "Sounds good to me. There's this little place near Wentworth that does really excellent, traditional oven-fired pizzas—"

Danny's phone rang, interrupting, and his stomach dropped at the ringtone. It was his special one for Clint and at this point it was a pavlovian response to get nervous whenever Danny heard it.

He pulled it out of his pocket, considering ignoring it for all of two seconds. But when Clint said jump, he expected Danny to ask how high? and anything less…

Danny couldn't afford to lose where he was at.

"I'm sorry," he told Haru, trying to hide the shame. If Haru knew Danny was a sugar baby, he'd probably never talk to Danny again. "I've got to take this."

"Of course," Haru said, because he was good like that. "Please."

Danny gave him a wan smile and took the call, pressing the phone to his ear as he twisted in his seat, trying to give himself the illusion of privacy. "Hi–"

"Where are you?" Clint sounded annoyed. Not quite angry, but definitely upset in a way that meant Danny would be paying for it later. "Ernie said you aren't home."

Which meant Ernie was at his apartment to chauffeur Danny to wherever Clint wanted him, and Danny wasn't there. Because he was meeting with Haru. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He suddenly felt sick. "I'm sorry," Danny forced out, hunching over and all too aware that Haru could hear every word. Stupid, stupid– "I'm out. Studying."

"It's Friday, pet," Clint drawled. "Fridays mean you don't make plans."

"I know," Danny said, wanting to curl up into a ball. "I know, I'm sorry." He'd been so giddy over his school stuff and wanting to talk to Haru again, he'd totally forgotten. Of all the stupid fucking things– "I'm sorry."

"You'll just have to make it up to me," Clint said, voice silk. "Where are you? Ernie will pick you up."

"I'm just at the library," Danny said in a rush, even as his stomach roiled. He'd have to grab an uber or something to get to campus before Ernie showed up to get him, but it was a cost he'd have to eat. At least being at the library would lend credibility to his story about studying. But fuck now he had to bail on Haru, who had gone out of his way to invite Danny out and pick Danny up— "I'm sorry."

"Mm. You can apologize properly once you're here."

Danny squeezed his eyes shut. "I will."

"Ernie will text you once he arrives. Don't keep him waiting." The don't keep me waiting, was unsaid as Clint hung up.

"Fuck," Danny hissed staring down at his phone. He didn't need this. Served him right, thinking he could get away with–

"Everything okay?"

Danny startled and swung around to see Haru looking at him with concern, the car parked in a lot. No, no, no. "Fine," he said quickly. "I'm fine, I just–I forgot about a prior commitment. I'm so sorry. I-I need to get going. I'm sorry."

Haru nodded slowly, and Danny couldn't read his expression. "Do you want a ride?"

Danny choked. Right, Haru had heard him fucking lie about being at the library. "That's–that's okay, you've already driven all the way here–" And now Danny was just peacing out on him, fuck– "I'm really sorry," he said miserably.

"It's okay," Haru said after a too-long second. "Really, Danny, it's fine. I can drive you." He started up the engine again as Danny stared at him. "The campus library?"

Danny wished there was a hole nearby he could crawl into. "Y-yeah."

"Okay," Haru said. "We're not too far. Just about ten minutes. Okay?"

"Thanks," Danny whispered, feeling so, so small.

They pulled out of the parking lot, but the drive was now silent, all of Danny's previous enthusiasm completely drained out of him. "I'm sorry," he said again after several minutes, unable to take it. He knew Haru was upset. Danny just wanted to get it over with.

"Danny, it's okay," Haru said again. "We can—we can go next time."

"Next time?" Danny asked hesitantly.

"If you want there to be one," Haru said. "Then yeah. Of course."

"I want there to be," Danny burst out. "I-I'm free tomorrow. After Lily. Unless that's too soon, or you've already got plans, or—"

"Tomorrow would be great," Haru said with feeling. "What time are you done with Lily?"

"Usually around ten-thirty," Danny said.

"I can do ten-thirty. Unless you want some time to decompress after tutoring?"

"No!" Danny licked his lips, nervous energy thrumming through him. "No, that's… that's great. If that's okay."

"Then ten-thirty tomorrow," Haru said with a smile. "I'm looking forward to it."

Danny has no idea why Haru would be, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He tried to smile back, fiddling with the loose thread on the pocket of his coat and then blanched. His coat.

He came to this realization just as Haru's car slid to a stop in front of the campus library, and Danny was unbuckling and scrambling out of his coat before he could think about it.

Haru looked alarmed. "Danny, what–?"

"He doesn't like this coat," Danny said, shoving it off even as his teeth started to chatter. "Could you just hold onto it for me? Since I'll see you tomorrow. If… if you still want to see me."

Haru stared at him as Danny vibrated with anxiety. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "He doesn't like this coat?"

"It's–it's nothing," Danny said desperately. "I just–" he fumbled for the door handle. "I'm sorry, I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow? Or… or just text me if you want to cancel or–"

"I'll see you tomorrow," Haru said, eyes still on Danny's balled-up coat. He lifted his head. "But Danny–"

Danny stilled, door half open, shivering as a gust of wind blew right through him. "Yeah?"

Haru's lips tightened as he watched Danny, and Danny couldn't even imagine what he saw. "Just… just text me? When you get home safe tonight. Okay?"

Danny could promise that much for all he had put Haru through today. Even if he wasn't sure he'd actually be going home tonight. "Okay. Y-yeah, I'll text you. Um. Thank you for the ride."

"It's no trouble," Haru said. "Be safe."

Danny attempted a smile before he threw himself out into the cold.

***

It was only when he was stumbling through his front door at two in the morning that Danny remembered he was supposed to text Haru. He was freezing from just the walk from the car to his building, exhausted from the day, and sore. All of him ached, and he knew he'd have fresh bruises in the morning, even though Clint still wasn't supposed to leave any.

But he'd promised Haru, and Danny hated breaking promises. So even as he told himself it was stupid for texting two hours after midnight, he did it. At least Haru would get the text in the morning and know Danny had tried.

He limped into the shower and nearly fell asleep under the spray, managed to towel himself off and brush his teeth, then fell into bed.

He fumbled for his phone to plug it in to charge overnight and realized, breath stuttering, that he'd gotten a voice message. From Haru.

He pushed the button to play the message out loud, allowing his eyes to slide shut while he listened to it.

He drifted off to Haru's voice saying, "I'm glad to hear you got home safe. Sleep well."