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Chapter 4

Danny left his lunch with Haru feeling like his head was spinning, and even the wind biting at him on his walk back to his apartment didn't seem to hurt as much. There were other people like him and they weren't stupid. Lily's brother was like him, and he was an engineer.

There were accommodations that could be made for him. He'd had no idea they existed, because no one had bothered to tell him.

No one had ever bothered to try.

His eyes burned for a completely different reason as he walked, thinking about it. Thinking about how hard it had been, how much he had struggled, all the sleep he had lost. All the opportunities he had missed out on, because the world had decided he was just too fucking stupid to be worth a chance at anything better.

It still didn't seem real, this new idea that maybe he wasn't dumb. That maybe he could actually make something of himself, if he didn't have to work so hard just to get to the level where other people were naturally.

Haru had said that. Had looked at him and said, "If you didn't have to memorize your textbooks, what else do you think you could do with your mind?"

Danny didn't even know.

But Haru said he was going to help Danny find out.

***

Danny couldn't help the nerves that woke him before his alarm early Monday morning. He and Haru were going to be meeting at the campus library first thing to start all the requests for Danny's accommodations at the college's department of disability services. Danny still couldn't believe that Haru was not only taking more time for him, but on a weekday. Granted, they were meeting at seven am, so not time for Haru to be at the office yet, but still.

Haru had said he hadn't wanted Danny to go another day without getting the ball rolling to arrange accommodations for his education. That he was ready and willing to miss out on part of his work day to do it.

Danny didn't know what to do with the warmth that slipped down his spine at the memory of being told that. Being told that he was important. Worth someone like Haru's time.

He bundled up for the weather outside, keeping his head down as he walked to the bus stop. His apartment was thankfully not that far from campus and there was a bus that went straight there. Clint had picked where Danny moved to when his old lease had been up, and him choosing a good location was probably one of the best things the man had ever done for him.

It was a little before seven when he arrived at campus, and Danny made a beeline to the library, sighing in relief to finally be out of the cold. The library was empty but for him, so Danny went to snag a study room, shrugging off his backpack and pulling out his laptop before sending Haru a voice message for where he was.

It was only a few minutes later that Haru walked into the study room. He was wearing a messenger bag slung over his coat, had a little paper bag tucked in the crook of one arm, and was carrying two white to-go cups.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, setting the cups and bag on the table, before unslinging his messenger bag.

"Morning," Danny said. "Um, was the drive okay?"

"Easy breezy," Haru said, taking off his coat. He was wearing a soft-looking green sweater that looked unfairly devastating with his complexion and wind-swept hair. Danny swallowed and shifted in his seat. "Luckily not many people are driving to a college library at seven on a Monday morning, so I didn't even have to battle for a parking space."

"Do you uh, often do battle for parking spaces?" Danny asked.

Haru nodded seriously. "It's not usually a duel to the death, but trying to park anywhere downtown when I have to go there for court? Madness." He pushed one of the to-go cups in Danny's direction. "I know you said you took your coffee anyway you could get it, but you also said that you preferred cream and sugar so I did my best. I figured that if I didn't get the ratio right, it still fell under your ‘not picky about coffee' jurisdiction."

"Oh," Danny said, taken aback. "Um, thank you."

"But if you hate it," Haru added, opening up the paper bag. "You're under no obligation to drink it."

"I probably won't hate it," Danny said, picking up the cup. "I'm really not picky at all. Um, thank you for thinking of me."

"Of course," Haru said. "Figured I'm dragging you out this early, I should probably bring offerings." Out of the paper bag, he pulled two items wrapped in waxed paper and a handful of napkins. "Case in point, croissant-egg sandwiches. I thought they'd be a safe bet. Unless you're vegan." He paused, then turned horrified eyes on Danny. "Are you vegan? Are eggs illegal?"

It surprised a laugh out of Danny, and the last of his nerves drained away. "Eggs aren't illegal," he said. "I'm not really into alternative diets. I eat pretty much anything."

Haru nodded and pushed one of the sandwiches in Danny's direction. "Well good, I'm glad I didn't accidentally offend you. One of my ex-boyfriend's had an aunt who was vegan, but the kind of vegan who had to tell everyone she was vegan and lectured you if you took honey in your tea. I'm not against veganism, but I draw the line at anti-bee propaganda."

"I see," Danny said, because he did not really at all.

He also absolutely wasn't filing away the fact that Haru had had boyfriends. That didn't matter. Danny definitely didn't care.

"Alright," Haru said. He opened his laptop and then rubbed his hands together. "Let's get started. First things first, we're drafting a letter to your college's department for disabilities."

***

Danny considered his winter schedule pretty light, all things considered. He had his astronomy class Monday and Wednesday evening from six to ten. Tuesday was Sign Language from one to four, Wednesday was also when he had his business law class, two to four, and then Thursday was algebra from nine to noon.

Danny would have preferred to not have to get up early on Thursday after getting home on Wednesday after ten at night, but the only other day that his college had offered statistics for winter semester had been Friday. And Clint required that Danny keep his Fridays free.

But still, even with a later Wednesday night and early Thursday morning, that was only four classes, and for only a few hours each day. The only reason Danny had no free time was because he spent nearly every waking moment he had trying to muddle through what felt like illegible gibberish. Reading took forever. Deconstructing his homework assignments took forever. Doing said homework assignments took forever. Especially if he had papers to write, because then he had the extra work of more reading to make sure all his references were sound…

It was exhausting and stressful, and he hated how overwhelming it all was.

He felt nearly as stressed when he walked into his astronomy lecture Monday night, body alight with trepidation as he approached the front of the class.

"Um, Crystal?"

Crystal, the class's TA, looked up at him from the papers she was sorting and smiled politely. "Yes? How can I help you?"

Danny swallowed. He had never actually spoken to Crystal before. He didn't really talk to anyone in class–he just sat and tried to absorb everything he could. "I'm, uh, I'm Danny Edwards. I'm, uh, I was told to talk to you or Professor Smythe about special accommodations."

Crystal frowned, still politely. "Accommodations?"

Danny felt his face heat as the lecture hall started to fill. "Yeah? I emailed the–the office of student disability services–" with Haru's help "–about recording the lectures and, um, longer testing times."

Crystal's face didn't brighten with comprehension or understanding, and Danny's shoulders hunched as he got more and more self-conscious. This was so stupid. He was so stupid. Why did he ever think–

"Ah! Danny, my boy!"

Danny jolted at the exclamation, as Professor Smythe strode up to him. He was as larger than life as ever, and Danny tried not to shrink away from it. Professor Smythe was a great teacher. He was expressive and kind of funny and knew how to deliver the information in a way that was easy to understand. He was just also a little loud, and Danny didn't love loud.

"Yes, sir?"

Professor Smythe nodded, hand on his chin. "Forgive me, it seems Crystal wasn't CC'd into our conversation. This is in regards to your dyslexia, wasn't it?"

Danny nodded miserably. Professor Smythe wasn't being discreet, and Danny was sure his classmates must be taking notice. "Yes, sir."

"Yes, well, not to worry. I've already set up the recording equipment. You simply need to come to me after class to take the SD card home with you. You do have an SD card reader, I hope?"

Probably, and if Danny didn't, he'd buy one tomorrow. "Yeah. Yes."

"Excellent! Now the SD card is school property, please do keep that in mind, so it must be kept in good nick and be used exclusively for learning. I expect you to bring it back with you to every class for the next lecture to be recorded. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Danny said at once. He could do that. He could definitely do that. "Okay."

"Excellent!" Professor Smythe clapped him on the shoulder and Danny tried not to flinch but didn't quite manage it. The hand was immediately drawn away. "Very good," Professor Smythe said, clearing his throat. "Now go ahead and take a seat. Time for class!"

"Right, thank you," Danny said in a rush, before hurrying away to his usual seat in the back. He felt eyes on him as he went, and twisted just in time to see Crystal frown, turning away.

Well that… that was okay. He didn't care what Crystal thought. He just needed the recordings. Professor Smythe was going to give him them without any fuss at all, and that was better than Danny had expected.

***

Talking to his Sign Language instructor the next day went really well too. Adrian wasn't that much older than he was, which Danny used to find weird and kind of uncomfortable, but she was a really good teacher and she told great stories. She had gotten the email too and was very understanding as Danny haltingly signed to her to ask about it, patiently waiting as Danny fingerspelled when he didn't know words.

"So this is why you never write anything down!" She signed. "I was wondering. It also explains your tests."

Danny winced and rubbed his fist over his chest. "Sorry." Tests were pretty much the only time he actually needed to write anything down for class, when they had to translate what Adrian had signed to them. He knew his tests were usually a mess of scribbles. He was just glad Adrian had never marked him down for spelling like a third grader.

"No, it's fine! You do great in class," she signed, beaming. "Good student."

"Thank you," Danny signed, not expecting the praise.

"I will make different homework and tests for you." Danny blanched as she continued. "With no writing."

"That's fine," he hurried to say. "The workbook is fine. I just wanted to let you know."

Adrian made a face, showing just what she thought of the workbook. Like most Deaf people, she was incredibly expressive. "The workbook doesn't teach good. I'll give you different work."

"Thank you," Danny signed again. That was… way more than he had expected. Or even hoped for.

She beamed at him again. "You're a good student. It's no trouble."

***

Statistics was the class Danny was dreading most. Professor Edison was… not his favorite. He talked fast and wrote fast, and had the absolutely bewildering and distressing habit of writing notes with one hand and erasing them with the other. Danny had no idea how anyone else in the class was managing—he certainly couldn't keep up. The best he could do was commit everything to memory as fast as possible and flounder otherwise.

He wasn't expecting Professor Edison to impatiently call out "Garcia!" and then hurry away, muttering about probabilities. Danny watched him go with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He didn't think he'd be able to get up the nerves to approach his professor about accommodations twice.

"Uh, hey! Danny Edwards?"

Danny turned… and looked up and up at a guy in a yellow sweater and khakis wearing a green beanie over his dark brown hair. He wasn't a complete stranger–Danny sort of recognized him from class–but he didn't know why he was being approached, or why this guy knew his name.

The guy was also huge and looked like he could easily break Danny in half with one arm tied behind his back. But his expression was friendly, so Danny tried to focus on that. "Uh, yeah?"

"Hi!" The guy smiled and held out his hand. "I'm Manuel Garcia. I'm your note-taker for class."

Danny warily took his hand. Manuel's hand was huge in comparison to his, but Manuel didn't posture or squeeze too tight. The shake was firm and then he let go. "Note-taker?" The office had mentioned one, but Danny hadn't actually known what they'd meant.

"Yeah," Manuel didn't drop the smile in the face of Danny's question. "Have you had one before?"

Danny shook his head, feeling stupid.

"That's okay! Here, want me to explain how it works?"

"Uh… yeah. Okay."

"Here, c'mon, I'll get set up."

Manuel led Danny over to a seat and motioned for Danny to sit next to him, then pulled a tablet with a case and stylus out of his bag. He unlocked it and fiddled for a minute, humming as he set up the keyboard and then pulled up what looked like a note-taking app.

"Okay," he said, pointing with his stylus. "So I type up all of Edison's notes and equations and stuff here. Then I run the notes through this text-to-voice program, go through it to make sure there aren't any mistakes or whatever, and then I email you both the written notes and the verbal ones." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll need your email though, if that's cool. They didn't give it to me."

Danny's mouth worked soundlessly for a second. That was it? It was that easy?

Then he had an awful thought. "Do I, uh, have to… pay you…?"

He could probably swing it if need be–but it depended on how much Manuel asked for. Danny was stretched thin as it was, with his goal of trying to save money. He didn't want to eat into what he was able to put away each month.

Manuel's eyes widened and he held up his hands. "What? No? I… no?"

Danny frowned, confused.

Manuel looked from Danny to his tablet and back again, as if at a loss. "It's a volunteer thing. You know?"

Danny did not, in fact, know. It all seemed like a pretty big thing to do for nothing. Maybe Manuel was expecting to be paid some other way.

Stomach twisting, Danny opened his mouth again. He needed to pass this class. "Oh. So… what do I do for you?"

Manuel blinked at him. "Uh. I mean… I need your email? To send you the notes."

Danny crossed his arms, uncomfortable and trying not to glare. He just wanted to know what was expected of him. "But what do you want in exchange for the notes?"

"Nothing," Manuel said slowly. "I volunteer to do this. Volunteer. I do it for free. It, like, you know, it doesn't cost me anything to send you this stuff. I'm writing it all down anyway."

"Oh," Danny said faintly. He'd never had someone do something for him just because. Well, except Lily, but even she had been strong-armed into volunteer tutoring by her dad. "Well. Um. Thank you."

There was silence from Manuel, who probably thought Danny was just as dumb as Danny felt.

Then Manuel said, "Hey, you want a cookie?"

"Excuse me?" Danny asked, taken aback.

Manuel pulled a tupperware container out of his bag. "Peanut butter oatmeal," he said, opening the tupperware to reveal half a dozen cookie balls. "Made ‘em myself. Oh, do you have any allergies?" He ticked off his fingers. "They've got peanut butter, oats, flour, butter, light and brown sugar, and egg."

"No, no allergies," Danny said, blindsided.

"Great! Cool." Manuel offered the tupperware. "You want one?" Then he hesitated, smile slipping for a second before it came back full force. "Uh, free of charge. I'm a stress baker and I'm in college. My freezer is very full right now. You'd be doing me a favor."

Danny tentatively took a cookie ball, relief going through him when Manuel plucked one out too. "Um, thanks."

"No sweat," Manuela said cheerfully.

The cookie ball was really good.

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