8. Dana

Chapter 8

Dana

I knew I was making one of the worst decisions of my life. I knew it the moment he'd kissed me and I didn't push him away, knew it in the forty-minute car ride out to god-knows-where, knew it as I stepped onto the gravel driveway and looked up at the monstrosity of the home before me. It was like something out of Beverly Hills or Malibu, tucked into the corners of the mountains. A massive estate with floor-to-ceiling windows, large, ornate pillars, expertly maintained shrubbery, and a goddamn infinity pool.

I knew it when he'd taken me inside and the double staircase took up half of the foyer. I knew it when he'd lead me up the stairs and through the winding halls, when the double doors to his massive bedroom opened up, when my dress hit the floor.

He kissed me hungrily, his hands grasping at my waist and jaw as if he were afraid I'd run. I wondered why he hadn't brought me here a year ago, wondered if he even owned this then, but in fairness we were so desperate at the time that it probably wouldn't have even fazed me. Now, though, as the doubts and worries sunk into the pit of my stomach, I couldn't help but notice how different this house was.

This place, this home, didn't smell of booze. He didn't smell of booze. He hadn't had a single drink the entirety of dinner, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was planning on drinking like last time after I'd fallen asleep.

My decision to go home with him may not have been the best one but I was lonely. I was a single mom, constantly on the go, too busy for men and their bad habits to consider taking time for myself. But I wanted, needed , to feel desired. I hadn't slept with anyone since Cole, and with memories from the last time he'd fucked me still fresh on my mind, I knew he'd do a damn good job of making me feel like I was more than just a one-night stand. Even though that's what this was.

His mouth left mine to explore my neck, his heavy breaths warming my skin. My fingers traced the lapels of his suit coat and latched on, pushing it back and over his shoulders. It fell to the ground in a heap beside my dress.

"This is a bad idea," I gulped, but I didn't let it stop me. I pulled on his tie, freeing it, and dropped it. I plucked open his buttons, my knuckles grazing the warm, hard skin beneath.

"Tell me to stop then," he rasped, his teeth sinking into my skin with a nip of pain before he soothed the ache with his tongue. "I'll drive you back. Just say the word."

"I don't want you to stop."

"Good, because I don't want to," he replied. One hand gripped the side of his shirt and pulled, popping and freeing the remaining buttons. They littered the floor as he pushed the fabric from his chest.

Fuck, he still looked amazing.

His muscles had shrunk since the last time I'd seen him, but they were still there, hard as stone and rippling out from under his skin. I dragged my fingers along them, resisting the urge to kiss, lick, and bite the way he loved to do to me.

He sprang into action the moment I took his belt in my hand.

"Don't even fucking think about it," he snarled, his arm cupping me beneath the shelf of my ass, lifting me up. Before I could get too comfortable, I was falling, landing firmly on my back in a heap of plush sheets. His hands pushed me down when I tried to sit up, then they were moving around my chest to free the clasps of my black strapless bra. He tossed it somewhere behind him then focused on my black lacy panties, pulling without an inkling of warning, and discarding them just as quickly. "I need to taste you."

His hands wrapped around the backs of my thighs and pushed them upward at the same moment he fell to his knees.

A wave of self-consciousness hit me. In my year of celibacy, I'd grown an entire baby and pushed him out of me. I'd spent some time looking in the mirror and noticed that the color around that area had changed a bit. I also knew from personal time with myself that I didn't get wet as easily as I used to.

If he noticed any of it, though, he didn't let on.

His mouth closed in on me, licking and nibbling at the inside of my thighs. I wanted this. God, I wanted this. I didn't care if I regretted it tomorrow morning or immediately after. The words he'd said to me a year ago didn't fucking matter.

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he finally found his way to my aching clit, sucking it into his mouth. The movements from his lips and tongue, the nibbling on my thighs, had caused me to grow wet and his saliva seeping into my folds added delicious extra lubrication.

I breathed out a moan as his fingers slid inside of me. I'd been too nervous after childbirth to put anything up there, not even a tampon, and the one time I'd done it had resulted in a bit of bleeding. The feeling of it was almost otherworldly from how long it had been.

"You moan so pretty for me," he mumbled, his words muffled from how full of me his mouth was. His fingers curled up, pressing on that godsend of a spot inside of me, drawing sounds I hadn't made in over a year.

My hand knotted in his hair, pulling at the strands, needing something steady to hold on to. Over and over, his tongue dragged over my clit, nipping and sucking at the little bundle of nerves, and far too quickly I was falling over the hurdle of my first release. My thighs closed in on his head as my body spasmed, my breathing stagnant, and good god he kept going, pulling me through every wave and drowning me in it.

He only stopped when my legs fell away from him.

"I need to be inside you," he rasped, his eyes wild, his pupils dilated so far I could barely see the hint of green. Without saying another word he stood, stepped around the side of the bed, and opened his dresser, fumbling for something I couldn't quite see.

"Cole," I breathed. My voice was weak and broken, my vision hazy. I wanted more and fuck, what was taking him so long?

He turned and shut the drawer, something I couldn't quite make out in the low light in his palm. I blinked through the fog of my orgasm and watched as he dropped it on the bed next to me.

A bottle of lube.

My chest tightened. He'd noticed. But he didn't seem to have a problem with it.

He took his trousers off, his tight, black boxers hugging that magnificent bulge of his. Just above the hemline, two lines were carved down his lower stomach, forming a deep V that pointed exactly where I was desperate to see and feel.

He pushed me back further onto the bed and came over me, freeing himself from the fabric and kicking it off. His cock sprang to life against my pubic mound. Long, girthy, veiny, with a hint of reds and purples at the glistening, dripping tip.

My mouth watered.

"I haven't been able to stop imagining this," he rasped. He plucked the bottle of lube from beside me and popped the top, pumping a glob onto the top of his shaft and another just below my clit. It was freezing, but his hands warmed it quickly, rubbing it around the entrance and pushing it inside as his other hand spread it over himself. "Remembering what you sound like. How much you'd been aching for me."

I gulped as his tip pressed against my opening. "Is it what you hoped for?"

"It's fucking better." Hands pressed my legs back, positioning me perfectly, just like he had that first night. "It's so much fucking better."

Slowly, gentler than he was before, he eased himself inside of me. The sting of the stretch hit me immediately, and as I sucked in air through my teeth, he paused, leaning down to kiss me as his knuckles rubbed against my clit. "Sorry," I mumbled against his lips. "It's been a while. I'm a little, uh, out of practice."

He sank to his full length, burying himself so deeply that I couldn't imagine a world where I wasn't full of him. "I've got you, baby."

He made me feel like I was melting.

Once I'd finally stretched enough to accommodate him easily, he finally began to move. Blinding pleasure bloomed in my veins, and oh my god , I missed this. I missed this so goddamn much. All of him, the way he touched me, the way he moved inside of me.

He kissed and fucked me voraciously. It was as if something snapped inside of us, something that made us want—no, need—more. His thrusts were devastating, the perfect angle and pace, and with every shift of my hips it felt like we were building something more than just a release inside of each other. His mouth assaulted my own, his tongue exploring every inch of me, and the moment his fingers returned to my clit I knew I was fucking done for.

"Fuck, Cole," I moaned, my back arching and forcing my lips to part from his. He dropped his head lower, kissing and nipping at the skin of my breasts. Shit, shit, shit, please don't go for my nipples. Please. I didn't want to think about the possibility of leaking onto his tongue. It was a miracle they hadn't fired up when he was kissing me; thankfully I had pumped before dinner.

His lips closed in over the peak, and I panicked.

My hand flew to his throat, forcing his head up. I pulled him back up to my face, absentmindedly wiping away any potential residue on my hand and trying to disguise it as self-pleasuring. "They're sore," I lied, my cheeks heating astronomically.

He nodded, lost in his own need, and I thanked my lucky stars that he didn't push any further. Instead, he kissed me, burying himself in me over and over, and within seconds, I was rapid-firing closer and closer to another orgasm.

"I'm close," I whimpered, my nails digging into the skin on the back of his neck.

Everything about him became sharper. His thrusts, the kneading of his fingers, the way he kissed me. It was as if he hyper-focused on what he was doing, ensuring every bit of it stayed the same, keeping his pace and touches exactly how I needed them. "Come for me then, baby," he whispered, his grunts growing. I could feel him twitching inside of me, hardening further to a degree I didn't think possible. "I want to hear you scream."

I tipped over the edge, sounds ripping from my throat, leaving it raw and aching. He took complete control, holding my hips steady, plowing into me as if his life depended on it as he threw himself over the cliff at the same time, panting and grunting his desperation against my lips. All it did was light that fire again for me.

We stilled our breaths, our bodies finally coming down from the heavens, a sheen of sweat coating our skin.

How did I already want more?

————

The ache in my breasts forced my eyes to open.

The room was pitch black, the only sound that of Cole's deep breathing as he clung to me, his chest pressed against my back, his arms encasing me. I grabbed for my phone to check the time and was not surprised at all to find it was two in the morning. I swear, my body's internal clock was shockingly accurate.

The realization hit me all at once. I'd left my pump in my car which was still parked in the restaurant parking lot. Fucking idiot. I shined my screen's light on the sheets beneath me. A little wet puddle was forming.

I needed to go.

As silently and gently as I could, I slipped from Cole's hold, squirming my way off the bed. I pressed down on my breast, hoping for just a little relief, and felt the slow trickle run down the curved flesh and over my stomach. I needed to get Drew on formula if this was going to be a recurring theme.

Turning my phone's brightness down, I requested an Uber and began the hunt for my clothes. One by one I managed to find them, and as I slipped my dress over my head, I noticed the leakage was already seeping out of my bra. Shit .

Scrambling for something to cover myself with, I pulled open one of Cole's drawers and found something soft and warm with graphic letters written across the front. I could only hope it was a hoodie. I couldn't tell what it said in the darkness but it didn't matter, it would do the trick.

Clutching my heels in my hand and slipping out of the bedroom, I got my first real look at the house without being overwhelmed and distracted by how much I wanted him. It was beautiful—unique and ornate, as if an architect from the 1920s had designed it. Massive windows framed most of the rooms, with exposed wood beams jutting through the ceiling or running along the corners. Reddish-brown hardwood floors ran the expanse of the hallways, and as I took a turn that I thought might be familiar, the floor turned to smooth, cool stone on my bare feet as I stepped into the kitchen.

"For fucks sake, Christian! You're supposed to be the goddamn medic!"

I jumped at the unexpected noise in the darkness. It didn't sound like it was coming from upstairs where I'd left Cole. No, this was further down a hallway, maybe a floor below in the basement. I set my shoes and my phone down on the massive kitchen island and took a step toward the noise, worry creeping up my spine.

"Then take a fucking MP potion, you moron! Don't let us suffer because you're shit at the game!"

I stopped. Okay, less worrisome if it's a game .

But who the fuck is that ?

I didn't think it was in Cole's character to have a roommate. Though I guess in a house this large, you could easily have one and pretend you didn't. But there was no mention of him on the drive over, no heads up, and if this was said possible roommates' normal state—shouting about a video game in the middle of the night—surely a heads up would have been nice.

But what exactly was I expecting of Cole? It wasn't really my place to ask questions about his roommate if indeed he had one, was it?

I pulled the hoodie over my head and glanced down at it in the low light. A logo bearing the Kansas City Chiefs emblem decorated the front of it, and although it looked ridiculous over my dress, it wasn't stained to shit from my breast milk. It would do.

My phone dinged on the countertop. The Uber had arrived.

I just needed to find the exit.

————

Waking up at seven in the morning after not falling asleep until nearly one, waking up at two, making my way home by three, pumping, crawling into bed, and passing out would have meant I couldn't function had it happened a year ago. But I'd grown used to surviving on barely any sleep after Drew was born. It wasn't easy by any means, and if last night was anything to go off of, I was absolutely going insane.

But as I looked at myself in the mirror, taking in every little bruise and bite mark, soreness blooming between my thighs, I couldn't help but not care. If anything, I was happy about it. Sex with Cole had been the best sex of my life the first time it happened and was only more so now. Maybe I could have my cake and eat it, too.

Pulling my satin robe tighter around my body, I turned the handle on the shower and it roared to life.

"Where were you last night?"

I glanced behind me as I stuck my hand into the stream of water, waiting for it to warm up. Veronica stood in the doorway, a giggling Drew on her hip, her hair wild and pajamas crooked. My lips tugged upward seeing Drew so happy in her arms. I stepped toward her and placed a little kiss on the top of his head as I did my daily smell check. Still smells like heaven.

"Dana."

"I went out with some friends," I lied, grinning as Drew's little hand wrapped itself around my finger.

"Friends?" Vee asked, one brow raising. "Is it normal for your friends to give you hickeys?"

"What, yours don't?"

Her glare pierced through me, her face stoic and dull. I wondered if Drew had kept her up late.

"Thank you for watching him," I sighed, relinquishing my cheery mood. I could feel it slipping from my grasp the moment she appeared, dragging me back down to reality.

Sliding my hands under Drew's arms, I hoisted him out of Vee's grasp and into my own. He cooed happily, still a little sleepy. "You're going to shower with him?" Vee asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I've got a little tub thing for him. He loves it."

She eyed me warily and slowly backed out of the bathroom, mumbling something about Drew being the spawn of Satan. If only she knew the half of it.

————

Veronica hadn't shut up since I'd walked out of the bathroom with a naked baby and my hair up in a twisted towel. Apparently, she'd met up with some friends she'd made online over the weekend and there was drama, but if I had to sit through another second of hearing what Kyle had said to Natalie and how crazy it had been, I might have kicked off worse than Drew does when he's tired.

"You know, Mom thinks they need to just suck it up and get married," she continued. That word, that single word, brought my entire body to a fucking halt.

Drew's mouth searched for the bottle as it slipped from his lips. He glanced back and forth around his bouncer. My knife froze against the bagel, cream cheese half smeared, my mug of coffee burning the skin of my other hand. "You've been talking to Mom?" I breathed, slowly turning my gaze to her.

"Of course I've been talking to Mom," Vee said, her brows knitting together. "She's not happy you haven't brought Drew around to see them."

As carefully as I could manage, I set the mug and knife down before I broke something. Thought after thought raced through my mind, blurring into incoherent sentences, and all I could muster was a quiet, "You told them about Drew?"

"What? No. He's all over your Instagram, they figured it out."

"My page is private," I snapped. I'd made sure it was seven million times before I posted a photo of Drew. I didn't need my parents snooping, and even more than that, I didn't need Cole snooping.

Vee shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you accepted Mom by mistake. Either way, they have a right to meet their grandson?—"

"Fuck no, Mom does not have any rights."

Drew's babbles went quiet as he watched the two of us. I thanked my lucky stars that he had no idea what we were saying.

"I don't want them around him. Or me, for that matter."

"Dana. Come on. You can't still be mad at them?—"

"I am!" I snapped, my hands seizing into fists as I tried to contain the irritation boiling inside of me. "You think just because Mom is blood she deserves to meet him? After everything we went through together as kids, do you honestly think I would feel comfortable with him around her?"

"Calm down. She's not as bad as you remember," Vee pushed.

Not as bad as I remember. "You must have wiped your fucking memory then!"

A choked little sob pierced through the air and within a second, my coffee and bagel were no longer important. I went to Drew before I'd even realized I was moving, scooped him up out of his bouncer, and tucked him against my chest as he started to cry.

"You'll have to forgive her one day," Vee grumbled, sipping at her tea as if nothing at all had just happened. I wanted to tell her to go to hell. Wanted to tell her to grab our mother and drag her down with her on her way.

But more than that, I wanted Drew to calm down.