Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Lila

I impatiently drum my fingers on the kitchen table while waiting for Drake's return. I glance at the clock for the hundredth time: 9:59 PM. He's due home any minute.

Jake crashed around eight-thirty. I fell asleep shortly after lying down with him. Drake's phone call to let me know the plane had landed and he'd be home soon woke me. When Drake returns, it'll just be the two of us. We'll have a chance for some real talk. I need to get to the bottom of these contract rumors.

The door opens, and I sit up straighter. Drake breezes through the door, eyes searching for me. My chest squeezes tight. I can't help it. I want to rush over and greet him. Pull him against me. But I keep my ass in the seat.

"Hey," he says the moment he spots me. He carelessly tosses his luggage onto the floor, and his legs chew the distance between us.

"Hey, I say in return as he leans in for a kiss. I turn my head and give him my cheek. His eyes narrow, and I want to slap myself. I'm trying really hard not to be upset or angry. There's nothing to be mad about. This is his job. But he really should've told me. "We need to talk."

I kick the chair out with my foot and gesture for him to sit. The creases between his eyebrows deepen.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, looking toward the hallway where Jake is sleeping. "Is Jake okay?"

"Everything's fine. But I found out today that you're not staying in Boston."

"Oh." His face falls. "Yeah, the Philly's traded me with one last year left in my contract. I thought we talked about that."

"We did, but I assumed you'd stay here in Boston. I didn't realize you would have to move."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry." He grabs my hands. The rough calluses brush over the back of my soft skin. I'm fighting the urge to say ‘Fuck it' and just go with the flow. See where things end up. But I've suffered through one broken heart with him. I don't think I could last another round.

"This is supposed to be the biggest contract of my career. We're shooting for a huge multiyear contract. Lots of zeros."

"That's great." I force a smile. I don't want to appear unhappy, but what the fuck? Why even start anything with me if he's just going to leave, anyway? And why go somewhere else? Boston Bears was all he ever talked about back in high school. It was his dream team. "Are there teams in mind?"

"The Dodgers are in play."

I bite back a wince. The last thing I want to do is appear affected, but damn, this hurts. "Do you want to be closer to your sister? Is that why you're aiming for California?"

"Mostly, yeah. It'd be nice to be around my family." His eyebrows draw together. "You'd like the West Coast."

"I'm sure I would, but I live here."

"You'd want to stay here?"

"Drake, I'm buying a business. Of course, I want to stay." How could he even question this? I try to laugh it off, but I can hear the slight tremor in my voice.

I glance at the hallway where Jake's room is located. Everything I've done was for him. I'm building us a life. I can't throw it away over a possibility. I mean, he hurt me once.

"What about us?" I ask, swallowing back the lump in my throat. Drake looks at me, a deep sorrow in his eyes.

"I don't know, Lila. I haven't figured all that out yet. But I have to think about my career."

"Of course you do," I say more harshly than I intend to. I second-guess myself instantly, feeling a twinge of guilt for pushing him. He's just as lost and confused as me.

"Let's not do this now," he says softly, touching my arm. "I didn't mean for this to turn into … whatever this is."

"What is this, Drake?" I bite back, pulling away from his touch. "You come back, we fall into old patterns, and now you're telling me you might move across the country? What are we doing here?"

Drake hesitates, opening his mouth, but no words come out. He seems genuinely lost, and it hurts because if he doesn't know what's happening between us, how could I?

"I don't know," he finally admits with a sigh. He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me apologetically. "But I'm willing to figure it out."

I draw in a deep breath and try to steady myself.

"We need to be honest with each other, Drake." My voice comes out stronger than expected. "If there's any chance for something between us?—"

"I know," he interrupts, his voice low. "And I should've told you about the contract situation from the start. I just…" He sighs heavily, raking his fingers through his disheveled hair. "It's not a sure thing. There's a chance I might stay."

"Do you want to?" The question slips out before I can stop myself. I shouldn't put him on the spot like this, but I need to know.

He looks at me then, those deep brown eyes searching mine. "What if I don't know?"

The moment hangs between us, heavy with the weight of our past mistakes and potential futures. Hope wars with doubt.

His rough fingers, shaped by years of gripping a baseball, cup my face gently, and I lean into his touch without thinking. It doesn't matter how long we've been apart; my body remembers the feel of him and yearns for more.

"You think I have all the answers, Lila, but I don't," he admits. "I want this … us … but I can't ignore the opportunity that might be waiting for me in LA."

I swallow hard, trying to process his words. "So what? We just see where things go and hope for the best?"

"I guess," he shrugs. His gaze drops from mine, and he adds quietly, "All I know is that I don't want to lose you again."

A pang of something—desire or fear, I can't tell—surges in my chest.

"And Jake?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He looks at the hallway leading to Jake's room and then back at me. "And Jake," he repeats, his voice full of conviction. "I want him in my life, too."

Emotion surges within me, and I can't stop a single tear from escaping down my cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb, looking deeply into my eyes. His other hand falls to my thigh as heat surges to my core.

"Lila," he begins softly, "What happened between us in the past … it was difficult, and it broke me when we ended things. But sitting here now … I can't imagine being anywhere but with you and Jake."

His hand slides up my thigh, falling just short of the hemline of my shorts. Why didn't I wear a skirt?

What? No! I'm not here to have sex. I'm here to understand his contract talks.

"Drake?"

"Hmm?" His gaze dips to my lips, and I swear the movement alone makes my heart jump. Why does he affect me so?

"We're supposed to be talking."

"Talking's overrated." He leans toward me and nuzzles his mouth into the crook of my neck, the tips of his fingers tracing the seam of my shorts. His touch burns through the thin fabric and sends shivers rippling through me as butterflies take flight in my stomach. Then he brushes against my clit, and my body turns to liquid heat; I'm so turned on.

"Do you remember the first time I touched you?" he asks.

A soft chuckle escapes. "We were so awkward and timid."

" You were timid."

"You were, too." I playfully smack his arm.

He laughs. "No, I was awkward as fuck, not knowing what to do and coming in my pants once your bra was off."

"I forgot about that." I snort and look at him, a soft smile playing on my lips. "Why'd you bring that up?"

"Because you've always had my heart. It doesn't matter where I end up; it started with you and will end with you. That's a promise I'll keep until the day I die." He brushes his thumb once again over my clit, and I lean even closer as shivers skate up my spine. I'm so freaking wet for him. "I love seeing you squirm for me. Are you wet?"

"So wet," I say through a moan as he applies a little more pressure.

A delicious groan escapes his mouth, which he smothers by capturing my lips with his lips. The kiss is hungry with an unspoken need.

The taste of him intoxicating.

He pops my button loose but can't go any further with how we're sitting. My hands fumble for purchase on his shirt. He stands abruptly when I unbutton a few buttons, his eyes dark with desire.

"Do you want this, Tiger? Because if you do, I won't be able to stop."

I stare at him, caught in the gravitational pull of our shared history, longing glances and stolen kisses in dugouts and dimly lit hallways. The world outside does not exist; it's only Drake and me and our collective past.

"Yes." I breathe out on a shaky exhale.

"When I come back, I want those shorts off." He shakes his head. "No, on second thought, I want you naked. Can you be a good girl and do that for me?"

I lick my bottom lip and nod, trying hard not to stare at the impressive bulge in his dress pants. Talk time is over. "Where are you going?"

He turns back to look at me with that sexy smirk, and I swoon. "To check on Jake and make sure he's asleep."

Why the fuck do I find that so heartwarming?