Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Drake

"Well, Joe, it's been another tough road trip for the boys. The team must tighten its defense and improve its bullpen if it expects to turn things around in time to make the playoffs."

"No doubt about it, Les. Today's loss was a hard one. I've never seen a team spiral so fast after the All-Star break. Watching the team struggle here lately has been hard. And then there's Drake…"

"Drake's performance has been a shadow of what we're used to. He's hit poorly in these last few games, and you can see it's eating at him."

"You know, Les, there is a lot of pressure riding on Drake's performance. He was supposed to carry us to the championship. Looks like we'll be lucky to make the playoffs if he can't find his bat and the others don't step up."

"Agreed. He seems to have incorporated himself into the team as a spark plug. When he struggles, the entire team feels it."

"Do you think he'll bounce back? Or will Bad Ball Hitter just become Bad Hitter?"

"I sure hope he can. He's got to find his way out of this slump, not just for himself, but for the team."

"Let's hope the quick trip home brings a new dawn for Drake and the team. They've got the heart. Now they just need a break."

"Here's to hoping, Les. Here's to hoping."

The cars whizz by in another city and another night. I pull my baseball cap down lower, grateful for the lack of recognition. Or if people recognize me, they're giving me my space.

"I understand." I nod and grip the phone tighter, pissed at the tongue-lashing from my agent. As if I don't know I've fucked up.

"You don't want to get a reputation as a momentum killer. Get your shit together and make my job easier." The phone goes silent.

I pull the phone away to look at it and sigh at the dark screen. The fucker hung up on me .

Cursing, I lean against the stone wall and look toward the starless sky as my agent's angry words replay in my head.

He may be a prick, but he's spot on. I need to get my shit together. I've got so much riding on my performance: carrying the team to the World Series and landing a big contract. Now is not the time for my bat to go cold.

But I can't quiet the voices in my head. There's only so much space in that brain of mine, and this constant worrying about whether Jake is mine and keeping this from Lila consumes all of my bandwidth. I usually compartmentalize better, but fuck, I'm stressed out. This delay in our flight home isn't helping. We were supposed to get home tonight, but with the storms in Boston, they delayed the flight until later tonight.

"I couldn't help but overhear." Rappel steps out of the shadow and tips his head toward my phone. "He's right, by the way."

I shoot him a glare. "What do you know?"

"I know something's bothering you. You don't go from top performance to having three shit games in a row. Did you and Miranda split or something?"

My laugh is humorless. How ironic. Yes, we broke up only for me to find the one girl I've always wanted. The one I've never gotten over. The one who's owned my heart and soul since seeing her in that fir tree and falling on her ass.

"Yeah, we actually did."

"That sucks, bro. But what about that one girl? The one from your past?"

A smile spreads across my face. I can't help it. Being with her is so easy, despite my deception. "We're actually together."

His eyes widened. "Then what's the problem? Sex not as good as you remember?"

I shove his shoulder, knocking him off balance. "You dumb fuck. Everything's good. Lila's everything I thought she was." And then some.

"I'm not following. Why the shitty performance, then?"

I shoot him a hard glare before returning my gaze to the sky. I want to tell him to fuck off, but I can't shake this funk. His concern sounds legit. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to confide in my friend. Is he a friend? Hell, I've been solo for so long that I don't even know what friendship looks like. Maybe this is why I hate sharing my shit.

"She has a kid."

"You knew this going in. Is that a problem?"

"At first, I thought it would be, but the more I got to know him, the more the thought grew on me. He's a great kid. But I…" I let my sentence hang, not knowing what to say. How do I confess my darkest moment and put myself out there? I'd rather discuss this with Lila. But the guilt, the suspicion, is killing me. It definitely affected my game when nothing had ever touched me before.

"You what?" Rappel prompts.

"When Lila and I broke up, I returned to town to visit her…" I go into the entire spiel and leave nothing unsaid. "So when she told me about Jake being Darci's and with the timing, I?—"

"Am wondering if he's yours?" Rappel fills in.

"Yes. And the worst part is, I don't know how to tell her. Darci was her best friend, who she admired. How do I break that?"

He sucks in a breath through his teeth. "Yeah, that's rough."

"Ya think?"

His lips pursed. "You could take the paternity test secretively."

"Yeah, but that seems highly invasive, not to mention shitty." I pause, letting a couple walk past us. When they're away from earshot, I continue, "Maybe I should wait until after the season."

"Why?"

"I don't want it to interfere with the game."

"Bruh, it's already interfering. Perhaps keep your distance from her until you figure this shit out?"

"That's going to be hard to do, considering she's living with me."

"You moved her into your apartment?" He swears under his breath. "You sure work fast."

"It wasn't like that. Once everything came out and Miranda and I broke up, she kicked Lila out."

"Harsh."

"Yeah. But I get it." I let out a breath. "She didn't have much choice but to move in."

"Is that messing with your head, too?"

"No. I know it's quick?—"

"Dude, that's not quick. That's lightning fast. We're talking The Flash kind of speed." He actually bends his arms at a ninety-degree angle and swings them back and forth as if he's running.

"You really need to get out of the DC Comics. Anyway, Lila has always been it for me. I just hate the years we've missed."

"You need to tell her soon. Otherwise, this will eat you alive."

"I know. I'll tell her after tomorrow's game." We're only back for two make-up games before returning to the road trip. I have to tell her.

A shuffling sound draws our attention to the alleyway. I brush it off as being a rat. They're everywhere in the cities.

Rappel hits my shoulder. "Come on, man. We have a plane to catch. We'll get them next time."