Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Drake

HIGH SCHOOL

Senior Year

"Hey, Drake. Wait up." My best friend Roy's voice carried across the field as he jogged to catch up. A small groan escaped, but I paused my steps and waited. I didn't want to talk to him right now. With only a few weeks left before heading off to college, I wanted to spend every second I could with my girlfriend.

"Hey, man. What's up?" I asked as he approached, ignoring the sweat trickling down my back. I needed a shower before picking Lila up and, frankly, didn't want another delay.

I shuffle forward. If Roy wanted to talk, he could do it while I headed home.

"Overheard that Mia broke the lease."

"Yeah, she's going to follow me to college," I say, giving him a side-eyed glance. Where was he going with this?

"But why is your sister moving?"

I shrugged. "Why not? Logistically, it makes sense. That way, we'll only have one rent payment."

"Yeah, I suppose. It's just … I can't believe this is it. You're actually leaving."

"Thanks to Lila." My jaw ticked. This fucker beside me did everything in his power to sabotage me. I can't count how many days of school he talked me into missing. Had it not been for Lila, I wouldn't have graduated with the grade point average needed for my baseball scholarship.

"You're not coming back at all?"

"I'll be back to see Lila."

He stopped walking and looked at me incredulously. "You're seriously going to be that selfish?"

"What the fuck? I said I'm coming back to visit her when I can."

"And be a part-time boyfriend? Can't you see you're stringing her along?"

Well, that got my full attention. I hadn't thought about how life would be for Lila. God, maybe I am that selfish.

"Besides, you're going off to college to play ball. You really think a long-distance relationship is going to work with a shit ton of pussy available?"

I squared my shoulders as my hands balled into fists. He spoke the truth—the temptation would be there—but I'd never cheat on Lila. There wasn't a woman out there that compared. She was everything. "I can keep my dick in my pants."

"But is that fair to her?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out his angle. Why was he up in my crib about this?

"Think about it. You two have been together since grade school. You don't know anything else. I think it's incredibly unfair that you don't let her spread her wings."

"Fuck, man. You sound like some sixty-year-old woman."

He laughed. "Yeah, well, I heard the church ladies gossiping at McDonalds."

Mom's friends.

He didn't have to mention them by name. I knew exactly who he was referencing—the same circle of women who never approved of Lila and me dating.

"He's no good for her."

"Sweet, innocent Lila. What does she see in the Gunner boy? He's nothing but trouble. A wild child. Totally uncontrollable."

"She could do so much better than someone on the path to juvie."

"If it weren't for his sister, he'd be in jail by now, and poor Lila would waste away pining over him."

I'd heard it all. Voices carried in public more than people realized. What seemed like private conversations never were. But I didn't know if they cared. But for my best friend to back them up? Well, that just bites. And I wondered if maybe there were some truths to the words. I might be holding her back. Lord knew she deserved better than me—not with everything I'd done, not with the people I'd hurt.

Shit. Was he right? Would she be better off?

"I don't think I can break things off that easily." Not when I love her.

He shrugged as if ripping what was left of my fragile world apart wouldn't devastate me.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but Lila needs a chance to experience things on her own." His gaze meets mine. "Everyone around you either suffers or dies."

My nails bit into my palms. The thought of driving my fists through the wall, feeling the crunch of my knuckles against the plaster, never felt so good. I wanted to pound out the frustration because I knew in the depths of my soul he wasn't wrong.

Dad, Mom, and my sister Anna. They're all gone. As for Mia, she was suffering too. She put her dreams on hold and quit college.

And the common denominator for all of this was me.