42. Jo

Earlier that Day

Playlist: Good Luck, Babe | Chappell Roan

“Jo.” Becky is surprised when I enter her office. “What are you doing here?”

I take a deep breath, trying not to panic. “Hi, Becky. I’m here to give you an answer.”

A slow, knowing smile spreads across her face. “Fantastic. I’ll have the paperwork drawn up for Monday…”

“Thank you for the offer, but I’m declining. In fact, I quit. Effective immediately.”

She freezes, eyes darting to me. “Excuse me?”

“I quit. I can’t do this anymore.” In a way, I feel bad for Becky. Her engagement and career plans falling apart in one week has to suck.

She scoffs. “Jo, come on. Don’t be hasty…”

“I’m not, but maybe I should have been. Maybe I should have hastily refused to plan your wedding, should have hastily quit when the woman I love and I were mistreated. Then we wouldn’t be here.”

She’s silent as she stares at me. Finally, she blinks and shakes her head. She’s pissed. I can tell. I want to apologize, but I refuse to do that. Not when I have nothing to apologize for. I slide my badge across her desk, her eyes following the card’s movement. “I’m going to clean out my office and get out of here.”

She’s silent, and I take my leave, knowing that despite the doubts in my mind, the fear about money and finding another job, I’m finally loving myself enough to accept Hunter’s love.

Jo : hi hun

Jo: i had to run to the office, but i’m coming home.

Jo: i love you so much

Jo: thank you for waiting.

Delivered.

Dolly’s the only one home when I get back to the apartment, but I immediately spot Hunter’s phone on the counter. I pick it up and reveal a folded piece of paper with my name beneath it. My stomach flip flops, reminded of another note that had been left for me on my dresser over a year ago. But this one is written in pink ink and has little hearts doodled around my name. Still, I can’t stop my hands from shaking when I unfold the paper.

My Giovanna,

You’re worth waiting for and fighting for and taking chances on, despite what anyone’s told or shown you. Meet me at our spot in Port Haven. I’m waiting for you.

Your Hun

My hands continue to shake as I fold it again. Our spot. Hunter’s waiting for me at the lighthouse. I have no idea why, but I don’t care. I don’t need to know why she’s not here and in Port Haven instead. I don’t need to know what I’m going to do next for work, or what happens when my savings account is drained. I know I have her, and I have me, and right now, that’s enough.

I walk determinedly to the door, flinging it open and then reeling back when a short, blonde woman stands in front of it, her fist raised like she was about to knock.

“Jo.” Kelsey’s eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, her lower lip trembling as her eyes meet mine. “Can we talk?”

“No.” I surprise myself at how easily it comes out, saying no to her. Finally.

She’s surprised by it, too, eyes widening before they fill with tears. “Please, Jo. I know I hurt you, I fucked up. I never should have left you. I still love you, please…”

I laugh. Not cruelly, or out of amusement, but from complete and utter shock. “No, you fucking don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Seeing you with Hunter…”

“Don’t you dare say her name,” I hiss, fists clenching at my side. “The only thing you love is having control over me, berating me, and making me feel small and unworthy.”

I can tell by her face that Kelsey truly expected me to invite her into the apartment, maybe take her back right then and there. She certainly didn’t expect me to say no.

“You won’t even hear me out?” Her sadness transitions to anger, and her eyes flash at me.

“No,” I say simply. “I’ve moved on. Even if you did love me anymore, which you don’t , I don’t love you. I love Hunter. Can you move so I can lock the door?”

Kelsey doesn’t budge. “This isn’t fair.”

I shoulder her out of my way so I can shut and lock the door before pocketing the key. “Yeah, well. You expected the impossible and now you’re surprised when it is indeed impossible. That’s not unfair. That’s life.”

With that, I turn and walk away, not looking back at her once.

I’m able to get to Grand Central and catch a train that’s about to leave in under an hour somehow. Doing so means I have to purchase my ticket aboard the train. When the conductor comes around and I attempt to buy a ticket, I realize why I shouldn’t have rushed.

“This is the express train, ma’am,” they tell me when I say I’m going to Port Haven. “Our only stops today are Stamford and New Haven.”

I guess in my rush through Grand Central, I’d found the soonest northbound Metro North and jumped on without checking to see if it stopped at Port Haven. I’ve lived in the city for almost a decade, and this is a first.

“Um. I’ll get off at Stamford and catch the next train to Port Haven,” I mumble.

Before the train gets to Stamford, I check the app and see that there’s a train going to Port Haven fifteen or so minutes after I’m due to arrive.

I can do this. I’ll make it to the lighthouse and I’ll kiss Hunter and tell her all about how I cut ties with Becky and told Kelsey off and she’ll be so proud and…

“Attention, Metro North passengers,” the overhead speaker announces. “The next northbound train has been delayed by an hour due to a derailment in Harlem. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

Of course the train is delayed, because why wouldn’t everything that could go wrong go wrong? That would just be boring.

I open a ridesharing app on my phone, and physically recoil when I see the price and amount of time it would take to get to Port Haven. The normally forty-five minute ride is apparently two hours and almost a hundred dollars. After some quick Googling, I’m able to see that both major highways are completely backed up due to construction.

Absolutely on brand for this damn state.

I shuffle to a bench and plop down.

Hunter said she’d wait for me. I just have to hope that she meant that through transportation mishaps, too.

I exhale gratefully as I finally step onto the Port Haven train station platform. The sun has almost completely set and god, I’d give anything to be on the beach, holding Hunter and watching the sun dip beneath the waves.

Instead I’m calling my brother.

“So, how’s happily ever treating you?” Ren asks when he answers the phone.

“What are you talking about? I need you to pick me up at the train station.”

He’s silent for a moment. “Wait, you’re at the train station? Did you just get in?”

“Yes, Lorenzo,” I say exasperatedly. “Stop asking questions.”

Ren mutters to himself, but I blessedly hear the jingling of his keys.

Ten minutes later, I’m in the passenger seat while he drives to the lighthouse.

“I’m going to wait out here,” he calls out the window as I run to the lighthouse. I dismissively wave a hand at him.

“Hun?” I bang on the door. There’s no immediate answer, so I knock again. “Hun, I’m here.”

Still no answer.

I dig through my bag, finding a single bobby pin at the bottom and hurriedly inserting it into the lock.

I push the door open when I hear the tell-tale click, and my heart sinks to my stomach.

The lighthouse is empty, I can feel it. I turn on the light, just to check.

She’s not here.

“ Fuck ,” I curse, shoving my hand into my pocket and pulling out the note she’d left on the counter. My eyes scan her writing again, desperately searching for an answer. She said she’d be at our new spot, which made me think of the lighthouse, but maybe she meant the spot on the beach?

I run back to Ren’s car and he rolls down the window, his phone in his hand. “Jo…”

“She’s not here. I think she might be on the beach, I’m going to check there.”

He looks down at his phone and then back up at me. “Please be careful. If you can’t find her, go home.”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“Just promise me that if you don’t find Hunter at the beach, you’ll go to Mom and Dad’s.”

Why are siblings so annoying? “Fine,” I agree, just to get him off my ass.

Hunter isn’t on the beach near the rectory, either. My heart is pounding in my chest as I look around for footprints, for anything to show me she was here. Maybe she meant the inn?

I sink to the ground, because I know she didn’t mean the inn, and I know she didn’t mean the beach. She meant the lighthouse, but I was too late.

A sob escapes my throat and I curl into myself, weeping into my hands. This cry is simultaneously relief and pain. Stabbing feelings in my chest, and a lightening of the weight I’ve carried since the breakup. It’s the first time I’ve cried since Kelsey moved out, and in a way that feels important. Like instead of being numb, I’m feeling again. But the only person who’d understand why this means something isn’t here.

I don’t know how long I cry on the beach for, but eventually I’m able to catch my breath. I shakily force myself to stand and walk to my parents’. I promised Ren that’s what I’d do, after all.

I’m so fucking tired by the time I get to the house. It’s not a long walk, just a few blocks, but I guess crying for the first time in over a year really takes all of a girl’s energy.

I unlock the front door and walk in. “Mom? Dad?” I wince at how my voice cracks, how my eyes fill with fresh tears.

I follow the sound of voices in the kitchen, furiously scrubbing at my eyes, trying to get myself together so Mom and Dad don’t worry too much. So I can make this hurt ache less.

For the second time today, I’m surprised by a short blonde woman as I walk into the kitchen.

But this time it’s the exact short blonde woman I want to see.