20. A Plan

TWENTY

A PLAN

M y eyes opened, and I got an instant view of Eric’s face, close-up and asleep.

How had I not noticed how long his lashes were and how many of them he had?

Now noting it, I knew it was something I’d never again miss. A thrill for the ages, or as long as we were together.

Something I was getting closer and closer to hoping would be forever.

The next thing I saw was, even in sleep, there was no boyishness or innocence left in him.

His mother dead before he hit high school, resulting in the loss of his brother and dad in different and painful ways, what he’d seen and done in the FBI—a dirty partner, a dead colleague—then a narcissistic wife.

Any kind of innocence had been stolen from him.

On this thought, I felt an almost overwhelming desire to smooth the black hair that had fallen over his forehead, and with my touch, take his past away, erase it like it never happened.

But I couldn’t.

Like I couldn’t take Jeff and Javi’s pain away that day.

Or I couldn’t give Jeff the mom and dad he needed. All kids needed patient and supportive parents, but kids like Jeff needed them more than most. And he’d never had that, not even close, not his entire life.

Or I couldn’t get Javi’s mom the help she needed so he didn’t have to live his entire life vulnerable, exposed to a world no kid should even know existed, having to do this at the same time look out for her.

Or I couldn’t make it so Stella hadn’t met Mace first, so instead, she’d fallen in love with Eric, and he wouldn’t have had to lose so much of his life to a woman like Savannah.

And that part was hard to think about because it meant, down the line, I would not be where I was right then with him.

But that was how deep my feelings had grown.

Because I knew I’d be happy if he was happy with someone else, loved by someone and free to love them, raising children together, without any of the shit he’d had to eat from his ex, even if that meant there’d be no shot for me.

All these thoughts tumbled in my brain and…

God .

I wanted to touch him so bad .

I didn’t, because he’d had two nights with very little sleep, he was sleeping now. I couldn’t give him the things that would have made his life smoother, filled with more joy than pain, but by God, I was going to let him get more rest.

Carefully, I slid away from him and started to turn to get out of bed before I checked the time and made my decision about whether or not to go to work.

I didn’t get very far.

Eric’s arm around me tightened, and he pulled me right back.

When I looked at his face this time, those beautiful eyes were open.

His voice was a rough, sleepy, sexy purr when he asked, “Where you goin’?”

“Go back to sleep,” I whispered.

He pulled my nightie up at the back and then went into my panties with both hands, pressing me forward so my pelvis was tight to his.

Or more aptly, I was pressed to his hard cock.

“Where you goin’?” he repeated.

“Nowhere,” I whispered.

His eyes got lazy, he looked to my mouth, then he kissed me.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from Eric in this department…exactly. I just knew it would be good.

But, man, what commenced wasn’t good.

It was life altering.

Deep, wet, unhurried kisses. Hands (both his and mine) roaming, exploring, discovering.

Eventually, he rolled on top of me, and his lips, tongue and teeth moved deep into the exploring mode, striking out along my jaw, neck, below my ears.

Down.

Across my chest, between my breasts.

He tugged the stretchy bodice of my nightie over one of my breasts, and, vaguely bummed that it wasn’t in one of my good nighties, I whispered, “Sorry about the nightie. I wanted it to be a special one.”

I licked my lips at how nice his warm hand felt covering my exposed breast. And it felt so nice, I didn’t notice for a second that was all he did, and I didn’t have his mouth on me anymore at all.

I tipped my chin down to look at him, only to note his gaze was on me.

The instant I caught his eyes, he whispered, “It’s not the nightie, Jessie. It was never the nightie. It was always the woman in the nightie.”

Hang on.

Wait.

Oh my God.

Did he just say that?

I stared into warm, black eyes.

He said it.

I squirmed under him to get back to his mouth. Mission accomplished, I kissed him, and with an almighty heave (which, granted, I think he allowed), I rolled him to his back.

After I broke our kiss, it was my mouth and teeth and tongue exploring his stubbled jaw (nice), his neck (yum), his corded throat (delicious).

Down.

His pec (amazing).

And I didn’t dally. I scraped my teeth along his nipple before I suckled at it, testing if he was sensitive there. His hand sifting into my hair and the low noise he made told me was.

Excellent.

Turned on by this (or more turned on by it than I already was), I went after the other nipple, and God, what a journey across the furred hills and valleys of his chest (stupendous).

Then down.

I took my time at his boxed abs (Lord, scrumptious , especially the way they tensed and rippled under my attention).

I could do that for hours, days…

But I went down again.

And I pulled at his boxer briefs.

His thick, pretty cock sprang up, I got a good look at it, and…

Fuck yes .

It was just as perfect as the rest of him.

I grabbed hold, emboldened by his soft groan and softer, “ Honey .”

I licked the tip, I stroked the shaft with my hand, I lifted my eyes to his burning ones, and once our gazes caught, I deep throated him.

That groan was so powerful, I could feel it in my mouth.

The wet between my legs got a whole lot wetter.

Better, his head fell back and the muscles in his neck tensed, veins popping out.

Oh yeah.

Giving head to Eric was gonna rock .

I sucked and bobbed and stroked, and sometimes gave myself a break to lick.

I was into it. I was feeling it. The low, sexy noises Eric made told me he was definitely feeling it. I loved how his big, strong body grew more and more tense around me. I loved what I was giving him, I loved how much he liked it, and I loved that he was all out there showing he did.

So I was squirming and wet and way getting off on what I was doing.

And then I wasn’t doing it anymore.

I’d been pulled up his body, rolled…

In one blink, my panties were gone.

In the next, Eric rolled back, taking me with him, pulling me up, up and up , until I had to sit up or I’d go through the wall.

And once I did, I was sitting on his face, his hands at my hips bearing me down, and he was eating me out.

Yes!

“Oh God, baby,” I whispered, my head falling back.

Men could be bad at this. Sloppy. Lazy. Going through the motions in hopes of getting the same in return.

Eric, my astonishing overachiever, strove for greatness, and make no mistake, he attained it.

He pulled me just off his mouth before he ordered roughly, “Lose the nightie, Jessie.”

I broke records ripping off my nightie.

He kept bossing. “Now ride my mouth, honey.”

I glided back down and gladly did what I was told while he licked and sucked and sometimes scraped.

The orgasm he was building wasn’t flirting with me. This was no tease. It was ready to rumble.

But after a hard suck of my clit, it suddenly started to bolt in, and like he felt it coming, I was off Eric’s face and on my back in bed.

No!

“Baby,” I begged as Eric got off the bed.

“Condom,” he grunted.

I watched him yank off his briefs.

I went still.

Man.

I’d been soooooooo right.

His ass was insane .

“Clean,” I panted, pushing up to sitting. “The pill,” I finished.

He turned to me, his cargos in his hands. “You trust me?”

“Do you trust me?” I asked back.

“This is a big step, honey,” he said gently.

“I want only you,” I replied, and those words were husky with feeling, and not simply the feeling that I wanted him to make me come ASAFP.

In an instant, my Mr. Smooth Move executed another one.

Because he’d entered the bed hooking my leg behind the knee, pulling it up at his side, forcing me back down on the bed at the same time covering me, and I felt his cock catch between my legs.

“Fuck you’re wet,” he murmured gruffly.

“Is that surprising?” I asked.

He grinned, wicked and wolfish. “No.”

He gave me that grin, but he didn’t move.

Seriously?

“Eric, are you gonna tease me forever or… ooooooh !”

My last was because he glided in, slow and steady and so, so deep.

He kept going until he was in to the hilt, and I was full of him.

It took me a second to accommodate his thickness (also, it must be noted, his length). I enjoyed that second thoroughly and only opened my eyes after I realized I’d closed them, but more importantly, he wasn’t moving.

When I did, I saw he was watching me.

I was about to tell him to stop messing around.

I didn’t get a chance.

Because he whispered, “Christ, Jessie. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

It happened then.

That was when I knew it was over.

I was done.

We could have unprotected sex not only because I was on birth control and I trusted that he was safe, but because he was the only man I was ever going to sleep with again.

I was in love with him.

And yes, as time went by, I would continue to fall deeper and deeper into that state.

I wanted to get a cat with him (and then maybe a dog).

I wanted to live with him.

I wanted to have babies with him.

And, if he insisted, I was going to marry him (though, he’d have to put up with a black wedding dress, no DJ, no dancing, no toasts, none of that traditional shit (however, I could do flowers), just him, me, a ceremony, lots of food and drink and a big party…because I was me and that was the only way I’d do it).

I didn’t know how he knew where I was in my head. Perhaps it was the tears I felt shimmering in my eyes.

But this perfect moment became more perfect when he answered all my thoughts with one word.

“Yeah.”

Oh shit.

I was about to sob, but fortunately I didn’t, because he kissed me and started to move inside.

I dug sex, if it was good.

I liked to fuck, especially. And I was down with getting more than a little nasty.

But I didn’t realize until that moment that never in my entire life had a man made love to me.

Braydon occasionally tried it, and I knew what he was going for.

But he always failed.

I knew that now for certain, because Eric was making love to me.

Kissing me then nuzzling me and whispering to me how beautiful he thought I was, how good I felt, how tight I clutched him, how much he liked it, how wet and hot I felt around him, how gorgeous he thought that was.

Through this, our hands were linked, fingers through fingers, as, with my free hand, I roamed the wonderland of the skin and muscles of his back and ass and let him love me with his body, his words, his movements.

Truth, I had never felt more loved than I felt in those moments with Eric.

Another truth, I’d never in my life felt precious, except right then.

So it was unsurprising when the gently lapping waves suddenly washed in with a tsunami of an orgasm, I wasn’t expecting it. Not for it to happen yet, but especially not for it to be that all-consuming.

It was my world, and I was lost in it.

No.

Eric was my world.

And I was lost to him.

When I emerged, Eric’s rhythm had increased, but his eyes were locked on me, there was a heated fluidity to the inky depths that was awesome, considering it showed openly how much he got off on making me come that hard.

But I could sense him holding back.

I got that, I didn’t want this to end either.

Still.

“Let go, baby,” I whispered.

He kissed me, but he didn’t let go.

I bit his lower lip, dug my nails into his ass, and through his sexy groan and sexier growl, I repeated, “Baby, let go.”

He buried his face in my neck, finally thrusting hard and deep (giving me a preview of just how fantastic fucking was going to be with Eric). I wrapped both my calves around him, and then he grunted, before he sunk his teeth into my flesh (fabulous), buried himself inside and poured himself into me (and that was phenomenal).

His big body gave a glorious shudder when it left him that felt so good, it was like he was starting foreplay again. Then he ran his lips along where he bit me before they glided up my neck, along my jaw, to my mouth.

This kiss was a return to long, wet and languid, with lots of hands roaming, a circling back to the beginning that felt like a promise.

That promise being, we’d just shared the most intimate thing two people could do, and it was over. But it was never really going to be over.

Because we were never going to be over.

Oh shit, I was going to cry again.

Eric broke our kiss and whispered, “Okay?”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

His eyes warmed, his face got soft, and he was still whispering when he noted, “So you felt it.”

I nodded again and made a sobby noise deep in my throat.

His lips were twitching when he asked, “Are you gonna cry?”

“No,” I forced out, but it was croaky, and it sounded like I was going to cry.

I felt his body move with laughter before I heard it.

So, obviously, I slapped his arm and snapped, “Turner!”

“Hardass, greet-the-day-by-flipping-it-the-bird-and-getting-on-with-it Jess Wylde, crying after her man makes her come hard,” he teased.

“I don’t greet the day by flipping it the bird,” I denied.

He raised his brows.

Whatever.

“So I greet the day by flipping it the bird, metaphorically,” I admitted. “A lot of the time the day flips me the bird back, so I gotta get mine in before it does.”

“Right.”

I didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I didn’t remind him that today hadn’t given me an awesome greeting…or him.

I didn’t have to say it.

He felt it coming from me, or he recalled it, because his amusement vanished and he said, “It didn’t start out great, but it led us to finally having the time to connect in a way we both wanted, to take our time doing it, to do it right, and have time after so I could give you shit and you could shovel it back.”

This was true.

And the doing it right part was especially true.

Though I’d never admit it aloud, the shoveling shit at each other was fun too.

“That’s life, Jess. The shit hits. You deal. You keep going. And then sometimes, for your troubles, it hands you the perfect moment to make it all worth it. You know that,” he reminded me.

Perfect moment .

Worth it .

“I don’t want to freak you, but I do want to say that, even though that climax was pretty damned extraordinary…” I began.

He shot me a smug grin.

I ignored it.

“…just so you know where I am with this, it’s deep, Eric.”

“Good. Then we’re on the same path,” he replied.

Shit!

Verbal confirmation.

I was definitely going to cry.

Fortunately, Eric located his amusement, he made it visible, audible and physical, so instead of weeping, I started glaring.

“Important to note,” I began, “you should feel free to do that to me whenever you want.”

His, “Obliged,” shook with his continued humor.

I ignored it again.

“But I also like to fuck.”

More humor in his, “Fantastic. I do too.”

“And I don’t mind getting nasty.”

That caught his attention, I knew, because the lazy went out of his eyes, the humor did too, a curious light shone in them, and he added a head cock.

“What does nasty mean to you?” he asked.

“What does it mean to you?” I asked back.

“I asked first.”

“I brought it up.”

“Nasty encompasses a lot of things, honey, so bringing it up is vague at best, a tease in reality.”

I clicked my tongue. It was hardly a tease.

“You ditched the nightie, sat on my face and rode it pretty fucking fast when I told you to,” he noted.

Mm.

Lovely memory.

“Fuck, how did life lead me to you?” he asked, and the way he did had me shooting right back to the present and staring at him.

“Eric—” His name was shaky.

“No.” He cut me off, then touched his lips to mine. “We’re not gonna analyze it. It’s there. We both know it. We both felt it.” He dipped close. “And I’ll dominate you all you want, honey, because I get off on that too.”

I shivered.

Eric smiled.

Then he kissed me, we took our time doing it, but we both knew why he stopped.

It was only that Eric murmured the reason. “I’m out and you’re leaking. Let’s get you cleaned up and have some lunch.”

I was down with that, so I allowed him to pull me out of bed.

I grabbed my nightie and panties, and ever the gentleman, he told me to use the bathroom first.

I was in the kitchen perusing the contents of my refrigerator (we had icebox cake and leftover fettucine) when he sauntered in wearing nothing but his cargos.

After-sex bonus: I got an unobstructed view of his chest.

“We have fettucine, or I can DoorDash some Mad Greens,” I told him.

I suggested Mad Greens for him. If it was only me, I’d do a chili-cheese Coney dog from Sonic.

“Mad Greens,” he said (of course), then he pulled his phone out of his cargos. “I got it.”

I shut the fridge door. “I can buy us lunch, Turner.”

“You need to go to work to earn tips because you’ve been bringing jerky and water to a homeless camp, Jess.” There was my overachiever, always figuring stuff out. “You also got all the shit for pastitsio, fettucine and icebox cake. I’m buying lunch.”

“Are you keeping track?” I asked.

“Do I have a dick?” he asked back.

He did, and it was a lovely one.

I got lost in my memories of just how lovely it was, and how much I liked what I did to it, and how much more I liked what it did to me. Somewhere in the middle of remembering how full I felt when he was planted inside, I had his lips on mine and his tongue in my mouth.

When he broke the kiss, he didn’t go far.

But he did say, “Just so you don’t doubt it, you give great head.”

“Just so you don’t doubt it, you got serious chops eating a girl out.”

I watched his eyes smile. “Good to know.”

“Same,” I replied.

“What do you want from Mad Greens?”

I had no idea. I knew it existed. But since I frequented Lenny’s for my burger, shake and sandwich needs, QuikTrip for my on-the-go-needs, Raising Cane’s for my chicken tender needs (you get the gist), I had no experience with Mad Greens’ healthy-living menu.

I knew Eric knew this with just how much more his smile shone from his eyes before he bossed, “Go get your phone and pull up the menu while I pull up DoorDash and get the order started.”

“I live to serve,” I muttered as I moved away from him.

I got a vagina ripple when I heard his return mutter, “At times, you will,” as I walked to the bedroom.

I located my phone in my pants and started back to the kitchen, but stopped dead halfway down the hall when I engaged the screen.

I pulled up the first text from a number I didn’t know, sensing I knew what I was going to get.

I was right.

This is Jeff. My new number. And I just want you to know I love you .

I took a shuddering breath.

Then I pulled up the next text.

Hermanita, thanks for this morning. You now got my number. Store it and I’m there anytime you need me. J

Javi.

I texted Jeff: Love you too. Thanks for your number. And try to keep your chin up .

To Javi, I said: I’m there anytime too, hermanito .

I walked into the kitchen and saw Eric leaned into his forearms on my bar, his phone in his hands, but when I showed, his head turned my way.

And he caught my vibe because his voice was quiet and cautious when he asked, “What?”

I lifted my hand and shook my phone side to side. “Jeff gave me his new number.”

That was when his whole, gorgeous face went soft. “Good.”

“Javi gave me his number too,” I told him, coming in closer, a lot closer, so much so, my stomach was brushing his hip. Once there, I leaned my side against the counter.

I was pulling up the Mad Greens menu when Eric announced, “I’m gonna tell you something, sweetheart, and I want your okay on it.”

I turned my attention to him.

“I’m gonna suggest to Mace that we make moves to recruit Javi and Jeff to the team,” he announced.

My breath stopped coming.

Eric kept talking.

“We have some intel on the last member of their crew. Not sure he’d be a good fit. The partners have a zero-tolerance policy about drugs, except marijuana. That said, there’s no pot usage for twenty-four hours if you’re going to be on duty or at all if you’re in the middle of a case. This isn’t an issue because none of us use weed. Javi does, only occasionally. Same with your brother. But the last member of their team, a guy named Cody, is a habitual user. To the point he might have a problem with addiction.”

One, it seemed they’d made great inroads into amassing info about Javier and his crew.

Two, I was weirdly relieved the last member of that crew didn’t have a J name.

“Cody is also much younger,” Eric went on. “He’s only twenty-three. As far as we can tell, Javi doesn’t use him in the heavy shit. He’s usually surveillance or their wheel man.” A smile quirked his lips. “And since they don’t have an anonymous benefactor, they all have jobs, and Cody doesn’t do too badly. He’s self-taught and designs e-commerce websites.”

“What does my brother do?” I asked.

“He works with Javi at Sky Harbor as a baggage handler.”

I knew to my bones this was a waste for both of them. No shade to baggage handlers. Their job was important, not easy and probably held no small amount of stress.

But even Superman didn’t fit in his mild-mannered reporter suit, if you get my drift.

“So, I guess that one guy flipping on them opened the floodgates for you boys,” I surmised.

“If we know your name, we can find out just about anything about you.”

Fascinating.

“How long have you known all of this about Jeff?”

“Mace and Roam were digging into that crew, and I wasn’t keeping anything from you. They’re not done. I wanted to give it all to you, or at least all we could find, when we had it.”

“I didn’t think you were keeping anything from me, baby,” I assured. “We haven’t had a ton of time together since I met Javi.”

“We had this morning, but you fell asleep five minutes into our stakeout.”

I just knew he wouldn’t let that slide.

I decided not to engage, something that was hard to do with the smug, playful grin he was shooting at me, so instead I looked back down at the menu.

Seriously.

How could normal people find anything to eat at this place?

“So?” Eric prompted.

“I think I might do a Spicy Bacon Hearty Wrap,” I told him.

I mean, it had bacon. So it couldn’t be bad.

Right?

“No, I mean about attempting to fold Javi and Jeff into NI and S.”

I looked to him. “I sense what you do is not a lot less dangerous than what they do.”

“It actually is a lot less dangerous, because we have vastly more training and experience, but also simply because most of our cases don’t involve us dealing with drug peddlers, asshole pimps and gangbangers.”

This was good to know.

“And I’d recommend Jeff for the surveillance room,” he went on. “Knowing his diagnosis, we’d need to keep him in situations that have less stress.”

This was sounding better and better.

“Javi would be in the field,” Eric continued. “And Jeff might think what he’s doing is less of a rush, or less important, but even if surveillance can be boring, it’s vital. Not only is it a healthy line item in our income, when we’re in the middle of a tactical operation, input from the control room and efficient, organized, informed comms is crucial.”

“I have no issue with this, Eric. I just don’t think they’re gonna say yes,” I warned him. “You were the one who told me they’re in a blood pact brotherhood. And I’ve seen the tattoo on Jeff’s arm. I wasn’t in any position to inspect it, but he didn’t have it before. And tattoo says permanency like nothing else.”

I knew by the troubled expression that came over his face what was about to come next.

And then it came.

“You’re right about their commitment. But things have changed. I don’t think after what happened this morning he can say no. If he wants to continue to make a difference, do shit that’s meaningful, with the bonus of making a lot more money, even if some of our cases will cut across the grain, he’s gonna have to tap in. This morning means the cops are going to be dedicated to making certain the same thing doesn’t happen to Javi and Jeff, and they’ll be happy to put them in a cell to make that so.”

He slid closer and kept his gaze glued to mine.

“And honey, in case you didn’t put it together, this crew that those two men moved on could think it was on the orders of Javi. If he hasn’t already put it into the grapevine they acted on their own, this is the perfect storm for an epic beef to kick off. And if they have the organization and firepower Javi mentioned, their crew against his decimated one is not good odds.”

That thought had made many attempts to penetrate my brain, but until then, I’d kept it at bay.

I couldn’t keep it at bay anymore, because Eric was right.

“So Javi needs you guys,” I said quietly.

“If he was any other man, we would have put pressure on him to get them both in one of our safe houses. We know enough that’d be a wasted effort. But the man is far from dumb. He knows they’re vulnerable, and he knows Joaquim made them a target.”

“Do you think that means he’ll lay low?” I asked hopefully.

I couldn’t describe my relief when he nodded.

“Montoya was destroyed at the loss of his brothers. He’s not gonna risk losing more. And if he’s out of the picture, his mother will be exposed. If his bio dad doesn’t have the pressure exerted, no doubt he’ll tap out and fuck knows what’ll happen to Javi’s mom. What Javi does, he definitely takes risks. But what he said today proves this guy doesn’t have a hot head that guides him to do stupid shit for the sake of his calling. I believe he takes a great deal of time to calculate the risks and knows, unless something entirely unexpected happens, he’ll best them before he tackles them. He doesn’t do this because he has an issue with failure. He does it because he’s not about to lose a brother. He’s not going to expose a man he’s pulled into his mission to an undue threat. And he’s not gonna stop being the buffer between his mom and the world.”

“So it’s the perfect time for your team to make their move to fold him in,” I surmised.

“It’s that, but mostly, he’s exactly what we need on our team.”

He totally was.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me pitching this to Mace?” he asked.

Javi, who I’d come to like a lot, and my brother, who I loved, being welcomed to a team who made great money, garnered enormous respect, and did cool stuff to feed their hero complexes?

“Yes, I’m sure I’m okay with it.”

Eric smiled, ordered, “Mouth,” I gave it to him, and after I pulled back, he said, “So the Spicy Bacon Wrap?”

“Sure,” I confirmed.

I could eat another slice of icebox cake after I shocked my system with veggies and grilled chicken and such.

He sent the order off and straightened from the counter.

“Are you going into work?” he asked.

I looked at the clock on the microwave. It was half past noon.

I really should go.

But since they had it covered…

“No,” I answered.

“I’m glad,” he said quietly.

I was too.

“Are you gonna be late tonight?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“I feel like mastering frying a burger,” I stated. I’ll need it after a healthy lunch , I did not add.

“Works for me.”

“So lunch, fuck, you go to work, I go to the grocery store, you come home, I make us burgers. Then more fucking, pass out, get up and do our stakeout, and this time, I take first watch. Is that a plan?”

“Absolutely. And I like how much fucking you wedged into our schedule.”

I smirked at him.

Then I continued planning. “Tomorrow, hopefully we’ll have a normal day, outside early morning stakeout, of course. Then come home, pass out, wake up, another stakeout, and we can go look at kitties.”

“Again, absolutely.”

Oh yeah.

Earlier, we both felt it.

We were in deep and getting deeper every moment.

And we liked it there.

I smiled.

Eric kissed me again.

Yeah.

We liked it there.