19. Expand

NINETEEN

EXPAND

S takeouts sounded like they were all fun and games.

But let me tell you. They weren’t.

First, I had to set my alarm for 3:00 a.m., which didn’t seem like a big deal, until it went off at 3:00.

Then, I had to call out for my alarm to snooze, something I did. Twice.

At 3:14, I had no choice but to drag my ass out of bed, brush my teeth, wash the sleep out of my eyes, throw on some black clothes (at least that wasn’t a problem), and drag my tired ass down the stairs to where Eric told me he’d pick me up. And true to his word, there he was waiting for me in an idling Denali outside the security gate.

I climbed in, stretched across the cab to give him a brief kiss, then I ordered, “QuikTrip.”

He grinned and drove us to a QuikTrip.

We went in, got two giganto cups of coffee, and I abandoned my corn snack theme. On the fly, I created a donut snack theme by bagging two chocolate long johns, two cinnamon rolls, two old fashioneds and two cream-filled Bismarcks.

On Eric’s part, he nabbed two Kind bars, which I ignored because it made me question my dedication to falling deeper in love with him.

Eric butted in to pay, whereupon I shared, “Arthur reimburses us.”

To which Eric said, “And so does Mace.”

Okay then.

I let him pay.

We walked out, drove south, parked five blocks away from the warehouse and had to hoof it in, going out of our way to do so to be absolutely certain we weren’t seen by anyone who might be watching.

Once we hit the warehouse, we had to climb up two flights of stairs.

By the time we made it to the area set up to surveil—which had two folding camp chairs (the pimp ones with the beverage holders built into the arms) and a camera with a long-ass telephoto lens on a tripod, and that was it, and thus this setup wasn’t super welcoming—I was done with the stakeout.

Alas, it had just begun, and I had no choice but to get stuck in doing it.

We greeted Cap and Raye, who, for obvious reasons (and it wasn’t the donuts I offered them), seemed really happy to see us.

Cap took a Bismarck, Raye took a cinnamon roll and handed me a set of funky-ass binoculars.

“Night vision,” she explained the funky-ass part.

Oo.

Cool.

Night vision!

That was so awesome, things looked up.

Briefly.

They left.

I put the strap of the night vision binoculars around my neck and Eric warned, “It’s strange at first, Jess. You gotta get used to it.”

I went to the grimy window, and I could see, even in the mostly dark and through the aforementioned grime, it had a full view of the encampment. I put the binocs to my eyes.

Yes, it was weird, but it was also easy to get used to.

And when I got used to it, I noted all was quiet on the camp front. Not a creature was stirring.

Eric had his own binocs, and he came up beside me and had a look.

Then he turned to me and said, “Have a seat, sweetheart. It doesn’t take both of us to keep an eye. The way this goes is shifts within shifts. That means, on our shift, I’ll take the first half hour. You spell me. And so on.”

“Right,” I replied, thinking this made sense.

I let my binocs drop to my chest and sat down in one of the camp chairs to sip needed coffee and hork down a Bismarck.

I kept my eyes on Eric as he stood off to the side of the window, binoculars held to his eyes, scanning.

I munched into the cream-filled, chocolate-covered dough thinking I really loved the length of his body, how he naturally held himself so straight, and the width of his shoulders.

Okay, so I could forgive him the Kind bars.

“How was surveillance room duty?” I asked.

“Over, and good I don’t have to do it again for another week.”

I heard that.

I didn’t even know what surveillance room duty was, but if what we were doing now was anything close, I wanted no part of it.

“So, Javi and Harlow shared about a half dozen moments in the ten minutes he was in the Sportage with us tonight,” I informed him.

Eric’s head turned to me and he dropped the binocs. “Moments?”

“Instant attraction,” I explained. “Though, I think he might have blown it by going all he-man, macho alpha on her and questioning her ability to be an Angel.”

I couldn’t be sure. It was dark and we had zero light up in our little station (for obvious reasons), but I still thought I caught his smile.

“Not the way to go with you women,” he remarked.

“Totally,” I agreed.

“Somehow, I feel this is a good thing, at the same time I’m not so sure,” he stated.

“My thoughts exactly,” I agreed.

I munched more donut, chased it with coffee, and through this, he’d turned his attention back to the camp, before I asked, “Are you okay? You’re not running on much sleep.”

“I’m fine, honey,” he murmured to the window.

I finished my donut and decided to let him concentrate, thankful I’d been smart enough to wear warm clothes, because it was damned chilly outside.

While I did this, my body decided to go back to sleep.

I knew this last part when I jerked awake, the coffee still in my hand sloshing, because I felt my phone vibrate against my ass.

I looked to Eric as I slid my coffee cup in the holder in the camp chair’s arm and leaned forward to grab my phone.

He was looking at me, and I hoped I was only asleep for a couple of seconds (though, I could tell my coffee was no longer warm), thus, I hoped he didn’t notice I fell asleep approximately five minutes into my first stakeout.

“You in dark mode?” he asked.

He meant my phone.

I nodded.

I mean, I was me. I was dark mode through and through.

I pulled my cell out, quickly processed the fact that Eric had to notice I fell asleep, considering my screen told me it was after 5:00 and I’d way missed my turn keeping my eye on the camp (which meant, along with processing that, I had to process how sweet it was he let me sleep), and then I focused on the number.

It was one I couldn’t identify.

Not even marketers called at this time, and with all the shit going down, I couldn’t ignore the call.

So I took it.

“Hello?”

“Jess?”

It was Jeff.

My heart skipped a beat.

“Jeff, are you okay?” I asked.

“No,” he answered. “I’m at the police station. Javi and me have been arrested.”

My eyes zipped to Eric.

Fuck!

* * *

No one ever thought racing to a police station because their brother was arrested was fun and games.

But let me confirm. It was not.

Matters were worsened because Eric had to make a call to someone to relieve us, which meant we had to wait to leave our stakeout until they arrived.

And once Liam showed, we then had to race down the stairs and jog to the Denali, and I’ll take this moment to remind you I didn’t do official exercise. So jogging what amounted to probably seven blocks (because, again, we had to avoid lights and not be seen on a direct trajectory of heading back to the SUV, or at all) made me reconsider my philosophy that living a generally active life kept me in shape.

I reconsidered it more when we both angled in the Denali and Eric wasn’t even breathing heavy, but I was, and added to that, I had a wicked stitch in my side.

He didn’t fuck around getting to the police station.

Once there, I was forced to explore the depths of my patience when I was relegated to a chair in a waiting room, and Eric disappeared into the bowels of the station accompanied by a uniform.

I wasn’t sure why he was allowed in and I was not, but asking that question might be detrimental to exploring the depths of my patience, so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

About seven hours later (okay, it was probably maybe ten minutes), Roam strolled out from where Eric had sauntered in.

Even in the current circumstances, I took the needed moment to recover from how fine he was (as with all these men, he was just that fine) while he made his approach to me.

He sat down beside me and turned my way.

“Your brother and Montoya are being released,” he announced.

I let out the breath I could have sworn I’d been holding since I heard Jeff’s voice on my phone.

“They weren’t arrested,” Roam continued. “They were taken in for questioning because they brought two males who’d sustained gunshot wounds to an ER.”

My heart stuttered to a halt.

“Gunshot wounds?” I whispered.

Roam’s lips thinned before he shared, “One was DOA.”

That was when my heart twisted.

“One of Javi’s men?” I asked, my voice stretched tight.

He nodded.

Oh God.

Poor Jeff.

Poor Javi.

Poor unknown Shadow Soldier.

I put my elbows to my knees and dropped my head in my hands.

Roam rubbed my back, not invasive, not expansive, just right.

It felt nice.

Seriously, these were such good guys .

Then it hit me, and I sat up abruptly.

“What about the other guy?”

I didn’t like the look that came over Roam’s face, even before he explained it.

“He’s in surgery. We don’t know.” He paused, studying me closely, then from whatever he read he made a decision and carried on, “But it’s not looking good because he was shot seven times.”

Seven times?

Seven?

“Fucking fuck ,” I bit off.

At this point, we both sensed motion to our sides.

We looked that way, and I saw Eric and Mace with a handsome Latino dude who wore a more-official-than-just-normally-official uniform coming our way.

The handsome Latino dude, who I’d never seen in my life, caught sight of me and then let out a visibly massive sigh like I worked his last nerves.

I didn’t get that, but I also didn’t have time to consider it.

Because with them were Javi and Jeff.

I stood, feeling both heartbroken and nervous, because I hadn’t left things in a very good place with my brother, and now I knew he was suffering.

I should have known not to be nervous.

We’d had spats before.

We got over it.

We’d had one doozie of a spat, the worst ever.

And in that moment, my brother didn’t hesitate to walk right up to me and wrap his arms around me.

I returned the gesture.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” I whispered in his ear, my eyes on Javi’s face, noting how his male beauty had turned to stone in his grief.

At my words, Jeff said nothing, but his arms did.

They got tight.

I let him leech what he needed from me for a while before I pulled a bit away. He lifted his head, I peered in his eyes, and I whispered, “Let’s get to the hospital.”

* * *

There was maybe one good reason to go to a hospital. That being because you were having a baby. All the rest, it was known by all and sundry, were clearly not fun and games.

I could confirm, of the variety of reasons you went to the hospital, the reason we did it sucked huge.

The news we received upon making it there sucked exponentially huger.

Javi’s other soldier died on the operating table.

I wasn’t sure how the men corralled Javi and Jeff into a Denali and to the Nightingale Investigations & Security offices (along with me).

I just knew, a half an hour after Javi and Jeff were dealt that second blow, we were there, in Mace’s office, and Cap and Raye, Roam, Knox, Brady and Gabe were all there too.

And, obviously, Eric.

Raye and I sat on a couch in the back of Mace’s super slick office.

She held my hand.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from Jeff, who was sitting in a chair in front of Mace’s desk, leaned forward, both of his hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

Javi was pacing.

No one said anything, and they were giving Javi loads of room, something I understood because the vibe he was emitting was terrifying.

Eventually, Mace decided it was time. I wasn’t sure he was right, but I didn’t have a choice.

Because he remarked to Javi, “I think you understand it’s time we debrief.”

Jeff shot straight, but I got wired when Javi suddenly stopped pacing and faced off against Mace.

“You wanna tell me why the fuck we’re in your offices?” Javi demanded.

“Because I need you to tell me what went down tonight,” Mace stated calmly. “And then we need to talk about how we’re gonna navigate the future.”

I jumped when Jeff surged out of his chair, and I was about to do the same, but Raye gave my hand a warning squeeze, so I sat still.

Tense and ready to intervene, but still.

However, Jeff just started pacing like Javi had done.

“You got your thing, we got ours,” Javi belatedly answered Mace.

“Your team was nearly halved tonight, Montoya,” Mace said quietly.

A muscle jerked up Javi’s cheek and his gaze intensified on Mace.

I reckoned the first part was emotion at the mention of his lost brothers, the second part was surprise that Mace knew so much about Javi’s crew (safe to say, I was surprised too).

Nearly halved meant it wasn’t a very big crew, news I also found surprising.

Mace was still going quiet when he said, “Please tell me you did not order that raid.”

Raid?

What raid?

“I’m not that fuckin’ stupid,” Javi snarled.

“Then explain what happened,” Mace returned.

“I don’t gotta explain shit to you,” Javi shot back.

“We’re on the same side, brother,” Mace told him.

“You got a couple boys tagging Angel ass, so to keep those asses available, you waded in,” Javi sneered, showing his hand about how much he knew about us, as well as how much he didn’t. “You’re about billing for services. Don’t pretend this is your mission.”

I could feel Eric and Cap’s elevated tenseness, along with that same happening with all the men in the room, just not as much as Eric and Cap.

But Mace was the soul of composure.

“You don’t know me or my men,” he said, still calm and muted. “I understand your loss?—”

“You don’t understand shit,” Javi spat.

Mace lost some of his calm.

“My little sister’s head was blown off right in front of me, Montoya, so maybe also don’t tell me what I understand.”

My chest tightened at learning this horrid news about Mace.

Javi scowled, because at learning it, he was not only not afforded a comeback, he had to sit with that horrid news too.

“We can be allies,” Mace stated.

“They went rogue,” Javi bit out.

“What?” Mace asked.

“Joaquim and Jamal, they went rogue,” Javi said.

Crazily, my mind noted that Javi seemed to collect people with J names. It did this in the fraction of a second it took Javi to continue.

“Joaquim has a sister who’s hooked on Fenty. Lil Clown deals to her. Since he does, Joaquim has a serious beef with Clown.” He shut his mouth and shook his head, and my throat got tight when he whispered, “Had. He had a beef.”

Oh, Javi.

I turned my attention to Jeff.

His eyes were locked on Javi, and they, along with his nostrils, were red-rimmed from fighting tears.

“I gave them the intel the Angels discovered tonight,” Javi went on. “Joaquim got jacked up about it. He was sure Clown and his crew were doin’ their fucked-up business with whatever they’re doin’ with the community. He wanted to roll in. I told him we didn’t even have confirmation it was Clown dealing in the community yet, much less his crew bein’ behind that shit. I told him we had to get all the info, confirm it, and plan how we were gonna hit these motherfuckers. Because they’re motherfuckers, they’re strapped, they’re organized, and if we didn’t have our shit tight, they’d obliterate us. And as you can see, I was fuckin’ right.”

He was.

He was fucking right.

“So they went in,” Mace murmured.

Javi nodded before he shook his head. “I thought I’d calmed him down. I was wrong. And Joaquim and Jamal were brothers before they joined the brotherhood. They’d known each other since they were kids. It was pure Jamal to take Joaq’s back, even if he knew Joaq was leadin’ him into a shitstorm. Jamal was not DOA at the hospital. Jamal was gone by the time me and Jeff got to their location. Neck shot he had, he was dead at the fuckin’ scene. Even shot seven times, Joaq still dragged his body out. So that meant Joaq died knowin’ he killed his brother.”

God.

This was such a tragic mess.

“We don’t need the cops on our ass, Mason,” Javi stated.

“You both said nothing while you were questioned, but I’ll tell Alvarez this wasn’t on your order,” Mace assured. “That said, the cops are still gonna be on your asses. Just not about this.”

Javi nodded and muttered, “Gratitude.”

“I hate to ask it, but it’s gotta be asked, did Joaquim share anything that we all need to know about this case?” Mace inquired.

Javi blew out a big breath before he shook his head. “They didn’t get that far.” His body visibly tightened before he added, “They sacrificed everything, for fuckin’ nothin’.”

On that desolate note, the room fell silent, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.

Since nothing happened for what seemed like a long time, I squeezed Raye’s hand before I let it go, got up and went to my brother.

I wrapped my fingers around his and waited for him to look down at me.

“I’m not momming you,” I said to start. “I’m just offering, because you lost people who meant a lot to you. Do you want to stay with me for a while?” I finished in a hurry. “I won’t be mad if you say no. I’ll get it.”

Jeff looked to Javi, so I did too, to see him watching us.

Particularly our fingers wrapped around each other’s. And it was the first time that night where he appeared pleased about something. Still broken and sad, but there was a little goodness there.

“You can come over too,” I invited Javi. “I’m learning to cook. I can make you both breakfast.”

Or I could try to.

How hard was it to whip up some scrambled eggs? I’d watched Ina do it at least half a dozen times.

“I gotta talk to Joaquim and Jamal’s people,” Javi said to Jeff. “But if you wanna hang with your sister, do it, brother.”

My brother brought my hand up to his chest and pressed it in, so I looked at him.

“I gotta do that with Javi,” he said softly.

I hurt for him, and I was proud of him at the same time.

To share this, I pulled my hand from his hold and hugged him.

He hugged me back.

So they could get on with their sad task, I let him go.

But I moved right to Javi.

And then I hugged him.

It took him a second, but his arms curled around me, and he squeezed so tight, I had to hold my breath so I wouldn’t wheeze.

When he seemed to realize what he was doing, his arms loosened, but he didn’t let me go.

I tipped my head back and said gently, “I’m so sorry you lost your brothers tonight, Javi.”

“I am too, hermanita ,” he replied.

“If you need anything…” I let that trail, but I turned to my brother, so he knew what I hoped he already knew. The offer was for both of them.

Jeff’s lips lifted up in acknowledgement and a smile he didn’t feel.

Javi let me go.

I stepped away.

Roam stepped forward. “I’ll drop you wherever you need to go.”

“We can make our way,” Javi replied.

“I wasn’t questioning that,” Roam returned. And he didn’t stop there. “Something to know about me, I grew up on the street too. I get it. I get why you keep your crew tight. But don’t make bad decisions when the offer is made to expand your world. I had one dead brother and one live one,”—he jerked his head to Cap—“and we were facing nothing good. Then we let our world be expanded.” He lifted his hands to indicate the men in the room. “Not a lecture, just something to think about. Now, you want a ride?”

Javi didn’t move, he just stared at Roam for a really long time.

I relaxed when he finally muttered, “That’d be good.”

I gave my brother another hug before he left with Javi.

Raye got close when the door closed behind them.

“I called Luna. Luna called Harlow. Harlow is taking my shift this morning. Luna then talked to Tito, and Willow is taking your shift this afternoon. I’m taking Harlow’s.”

Willow provided our baked goods in the coffee cubby. Willow also acted as backup in the unusual event one of us needed to call off.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m saying take some time. If you want to come in, come in. If you don’t, it’s covered.”

God, I loved my chick.

I wasn’t a hugger, but clearly hoarding most of my life’s supply meant I had to clear out some space, because I gave her a hug too.

When we broke, Eric was there, and he took control of my hand.

“I have the rest of the morning free too,” he said.

Decision made.

I wasn’t going into work, at least not until later.

I said goodbye to everyone, made sure to thank them all, especially Mace, for intervening, then Eric took me down to his Tahoe that was parked in the garage under their building.

We got in, he drove us straight to the Oasis, and he gave me an amazing gift as he did so.

Our comfortable silence.

Not that I didn’t have a lot on my mind. It was just, sometimes, I dealt with it better on my own.

And I loved it that Eric gave me space to do that.

Once home, I realized, even having a guy, it’d be nice to snuggle a cat. So I decided, even with all that was happening, we were so totally going to an animal shelter that weekend.

I might not get one, but I was going to get the lay of the land.

On this decision, I went right to the refrigerator.

I pulled out the icebox cake, my big, round platter and a table knife. I wedged the knife into the side of the pan and ran it around the cake. I then placed that fucker on the plate, released the spring mechanism, and pulled the pan away.

It was supposed to have shaved chocolate as decoration.

I was in no mood to shave chocolate (I could do that on something else down the line).

Thus, I did not hesitate to nab two dessert plates, grab my chef’s knife and cut two enormous wodges and put them on plates.

Eric had leaned a hip against the counter in the kitchen with me and had watched all of this, which was good. He was right there when I shoved a fork into his wodge and handed it to him.

I then shoved a fork into my wodge.

After that, I cleft a massive amount of the creamy cookie cake onto my fork and rammed it into my mouth.

Absolute heaven.

Eric didn’t partake.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No,” I said around mocha cream and softened-by-cream chocolate chip cookies.

“You gonna be able to calm down enough to take a nap with me?” he asked while I shoveled more cake into my mouth.

“Yes,” I answered, still with mouth full.

“You going into work later?”

I swallowed and said, “Tito gives what amounts to a week of personal or sick days every year. I usually use it as vacation because I don’t often get sick. So I won’t be out wages. But I need the tips, and it feels gross to ask my girls to cover for me.”

“Two of your brother’s friends were shot dead last night. It isn’t gross to let your friends cover for you when serious shit goes down that you should take the time to deal with, Jessie. And I could tell by the way Raye arranged that, they won’t mind.”

“We’ll see after our nap. Do you have to go in later?”

He nodded and finally forked into his cake.

I watched as he took a bite.

His eyes widened before going lazy, and after he swallowed, he murmured, “Fucking hell.”

“Don’t tell anybody,” I warned him.

His brows drew together. “About the cake?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because Raye made the mistake of bringing her insanely delicious pudding to an Oasis shindig, and now she can barely show her face in the courtyard without someone expecting her to magically produce it. I can’t say. I’m eating this now and don’t have any of her pudding on hand for an on-the-spot comparison. But since I’m eating this now, I’ll make the pronouncement it’s better than her pudding, with the stipulation that I might retract that when confronted with a bowl of her pudding. To wit, if anyone knew about this cake, everyone would force me to make it all the time.”

“It wasn’t hard,” Eric replied.

“How will I get practice making other shit if I’m always making this?” I asked, indicating with my fork the cake on my plate.

“Fair point,” he said, his black eyes twinkling with humor, which masked his relief I wasn’t losing my shit that my brother was facing the day after earning two very dead friends, how my brother’s friends got dead, and the fact he was mixed up in that world.

We lapsed into silence and ate our cake.

When we were done, even though I was down for seconds, Eric took my plate from me, ran both of them under water, stacked them in the sink, came back to me and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go to bed,” he murmured.

I loved those words coming from his mouth, even if what we were going to do there wasn’t what I’d been hankering for from the minute I met him.

I selected an okay-ish, totally simple, black cotton nightie for this non-adventure.

And I learned quickly there was absolutely nothing better in the whole world than to have the fright of my life, followed by a prolonged witnessing of heartbreak, only to end that wrapped up in Eric’s strong arms in a darkened room in my bed.

You would think it would take me a while to wind down after all of that.

It didn’t.

Nuzzled close to Eric’s heat and hardness, safe in his strong arms, I fell right to sleep.