15. Chapter Fifteen Spin

Chapter Fifteen: Spin

" I knew if I ever had it out with Daw, Kiet would choose her over me," I say forlornly.

Cushion refills my wine glass. "That's not true,"

Burying my face in one of the colorful pillows on Bass's couch, I say, "He's not answering my texts."

"What? I can't hear you." Cushion yanks the pillow away.

I repeat what I said, and Cushion snorts.

"He'll find out soon enough that his friends care about him much more than she does, and then he'll come crawling back to us with his tail between his legs. Now, drink your wine and stop being overly dramatic."

"He's an actor. He has to be dramatic," Bass says from his place on the big armchair diagonal to the sofa.

"So are we, bonehead, and we're not crying into our wine," Cushion says.

"Is he mad at you guys, too?" I ask .

Leaning back, Cushion props her feet on the ottoman. "I think Kiet knows we feel the same as you do about Daw. He has to be loyal to that witch because he thinks he's in love with her."

She looks broodingly into her drink, and something about the moment dislodges a memory. All of us were drinking like this, Kiet included, in Cushion's dorm, and Kiet announced he confessed to a girl—I think it was Chinda, Rama's sister—and had a date with her. I was looking at Cushion when he said it, and just for an instant, I saw the same pain on her face that I see now. I wondered about it then but convinced myself I imagined it.

"Kiet will contact us, Baby. He probably just wants some time alone with Daw right now," Bass assures me.

Cushion sighs. "I think he's convinced himself when she makes those rude comments she's just trying to be one of the gang."

"She says the really shitty ones under her breath," I say.

"One of the gang? We don't sit around insulting each other," Bass says, bristling.

Cushion looks incredulously at him. "We don't insult each other? I just called you a bonehead, and two seconds after Baby walked in here, you told him you don't know how he has so many fans with that baby face of his."

"That's different," Bass says. "He knows I'm kidding, and I know you are."

"Kiet's blinded by love," Cushion says.

We fall into silence, each of us scrolling through his or her phone.

"Daw posted a picture of her and Kiet on a dinner cruise on her IG. So, at least we know he's still alive," Cushion says after a moment.

Bass sits up straight. "Oh, my God!"

"What?" I look up from reading fan comments .

"When did this happen? Look at all the likes!" Turning his phone around so I can see, Bass shows me a YouTube video of Park and me dancing to ‘Time of My Life' during the workshop a couple of weeks ago.

"We were just fooling around," I say, a flutter starting up in my stomach.

Joining us on the couch, Cushion watches the video over my shoulder. "Wow, you remembered the steps! You two look so good. And your castmates are certainly getting into it."

"Look how many views it has," Bass says. "This is going viral! Let me see if it's on Insta or Twitter."

My face is hot. "I didn't realize anyone was filming us."

"You guys look great." Cushion nudges me in the arm. "And people are going crazy in the comments."

"The name of your series is trending on YouTube and Twitter!" Bass says excitedly.

Picking up my phone, I text P'Park.

Have you seen the video of us dancing? It's all over social media and has Heartbeat trending.

"Look at him picking you up," Cushion says, sinking back into the couch with a sigh. "Do you still have a crush on him, Baby? Because if you don't, I do."

My phone pings.

You mean that day at the workshop?

Yeah, someone filmed it.

"Don't listen to her. The last thing you want to do is get involved with someone you want to have a successful business partnership with," Bass says in answer to Cushion's comment about P'Park.

"Oh, shut up, Bass," Cushion grumbles. "It's not like Spin doesn't already know P'Park, and they have to be close in order to sell their ship."

"Do you want Baby to get hurt?" Bass asks her.

"Of course not, but I do want him to get laid."

"Cushion!" I sputter. "I'm not going to…do that…with P'Park. Not in real life."

"Well, you're headed for your mid-twenties and you're a virgin. Just saying."

"And you're not?" I ask. When Cushion doesn't say anything, I poke her shoulder with my finger. "Hold on. You're not a virgin anymore? And you never told us?"

"It happened a long time ago," she says. "And we're talking about you, not me."

I look at Bass. "What about you? Have you ever had sex?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, once I started going to university, I thought I should get with the program, you know?"

I stare at the both of them, unable to believe I didn't know this. "Who with?" I ask Bass.

"Two people. Ping, in my sophomore year…"

" Ping ? Your senior Ping? You did not!" Cushion's eyes are wide with surprise. I'm a little shocked, too, that Bass would go for an older girl.

"Yes, I did. You were going through your goth phase and always pulling your hood over your head and drawing sad pictures, so it's not surprising you didn't notice that I went out with her for a while. "

"I never went through a goth phase," Cushion says, throwing a pillow at him that bounces off his head.

"Yeah, you did. You were all gloomy and never wanted to hang out."

"Where was I during all this?" I ask, trying to remember Bass dating one of his seniors. I do recall Cushion's moody phase that Bass is referring to.

"That's when you were doing the play. You were always rehearsing," Bass answers.

"And who was the other girl you slept with?" Cushion asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Not a girl, a guy. Freshman year I dated Moss. He was my first. Well, first guy. Ping was my first girl."

"The guy in the band?" I ask. All I remember about Moss is that he spiked his hair, smoked cigarettes, and played guitar in a band called Drip .

"I should have realized," Cushion says. "That guy wouldn't date anyone who wasn't having sex with him."

"Way to make me feel used. I'll have you know, I wanted to sleep with him. In fact, I topped," Bass says.

"You did not," Cushion and I say at the same time.

"I did so! From the bottom." He mumbles the last part.

"What the hell does that even mean?" Cushion asks. I'm not sure, either.

"Look it up," Bass says. "Who did you sleep with?"

"You don't know him." Cushion taps her phone. "Siri, what's topping from the bottom ?" She reads a moment, then looks up. "You're kidding me. Sorry, but I find that difficult to believe."

My phone pings with another text from P'Park.

Wow. I can't believe it's getting so much attention. Khun Lee's going to flip .

I don't want to admit I don't know what the term topping from the bottom means, so I ask P'Park.

He immediately texts back.

Why are you asking me that?

"I'll have you know I can be extremely aggressive," Bass retorts. "Now, back to you…Was it at a party? Someone at university? Which year? Wait…tell me it wasn't that math nerd with the big glasses from sophomore year. Did he work it out on the whiteboard before doing it? You know, like speed of thrusts times angle divided by number of orgasms or something like that?"

Cushion makes an infuriated sound. "Oh, would you just shut up? You think I'd really tell you when you make those kinds of remarks?"

"I think we have our answer." Bass grins at me, but I'm not so sure. Because talking about all this is bringing back memories, and now I remember a time early on in freshman year when I thought Cushion might like Kiet. It's hard to tell with Cushion because she isn't the type of girl who gets all moony-eyed over guys. But there was definitely something in the way she acted around Kiet back then that gave me that impression. She never went after him, though, and soon after that she started talking to the math guy, so I figured I was wrong. But what if…

No. Kiet wouldn't have taken advantage of Cushion like that. Bass is right; it must have been the math guy. But when I look at Cushion, she's staring at me oddly—kind of defeated.

"You've figured it out, haven't you, Baby?" she says with a sigh.

My eyes go wide. "No, I don't think so."

Another text comes through from P'Park.

Spin ?

I quickly tap out a reply and hit send.

Nevermind. I'll explain later.

Bass is looking at me. "What? You mean it wasn't the math nerd?"

Sighing, Cushion rubs her hands over her face.

"The person I'm thinking of wouldn't do a one-and-done with a friend," I say.

"Maybe you don't know that person as well as you think you do," Cushion replies.

My stomach sinks.

Bass stomps his foot in frustration. "Stop talking in riddles!"

"Was it before he started dating—"

"Of course. Beginning of freshman year."

"But how…" I leave off, unsure how to word the question I want to ask.

"I started it. It was all my fault, so you can take that look off your face that says you're disappointed in him. I never told you because I didn't want it to mess with your friendship with him. Or make you feel sorry for me."

"Who did you fuck?" Bass demands exasperatedly.

Cushion and I turn to look at him.

"I can't believe you haven't figured this out. You really are dumb," Cushion says.

"Kiet, " I say softly. "She slept with Kiet."

"WHAT?" Bass stares, mouth open. "Kiet? Our Kiet? No way!"

"It was before that girl he dated—what was her name? Plum? And only once. I would like to forget about it, but since it was my first time, it's kind of hard to completely erase it from the board."

"Kiet took your virginity," Bass whispers wonderingly .

"It's not like he stole it," Cushion snaps at him. "I told you it was my idea. I said we could just do it as friends."

What a shitty first time that must have been. If Cushion really liked Kiet enough to go that far, knowing that her feelings were stronger than his.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Oh, no." Cushion waves her hands in the air. "Don't cast those puppy eyes at me, Baby. That was a long time ago. I'm fine."

The more I think about it, the more pissed I am at Kiet. What a shit move, even if Cushion did bring up the idea.

"And please don't do that, either," Cushion says. "This is exactly why I never told you. I knew you'd hold it against him."

I want to ask her if she's been with anyone else since then, but I don't because I have a feeling the answer would be no, and if that's the case, I'll be even angrier at Kiet. Cushion slept with him because she had— has —feelings for him. I'm sure of it. Kiet was just in it for sex.

I don't even know how to process this.