Chapter 20

We checked out listings for local activities and ordered in some room service for lunch. I thought we should do the toboggan run onto the lake because it looked amazing. Ty thought it was for kids. After lowkey arguing about that for a few minutes, Jake interrupted and said he was ordering food because we were all hungry.

When the food arrived, I let Jasmine know so she could finish up her bath and join us. I felt nervous, which was ridiculous. I had no reason to be anxious about seeing her. We were all adults. I wanted to make sure she was okay and still on board with the lot of us.

Something about this trip felt high stakes to me, despite all Eli's assurances that it was just a well-timed long weekend to a take advantage of the free cabin. I wanted things to go well, but not in my usual oldest brother way. This weekend could be make or break for our fledgling relationship with Jasmine. She was so important in our lives, in our business, that the risk of losing her friendship loomed over me like a real threat for the first time.

That fear came not from any negativity I'd seen from her but, ironically, from the fact that my feelings for her went so far beyond friendship now.

Jake, who considered himself the chef of the bunch, arranged the covered plates on the table and revealed them by lifting each lid and pausing as if to say, ‘ta-da!' and because Ty laughed every time that Jake did it.

Jasmine emerged in gray sweatpants and a baggy shirt, her wet hair twisted back in a messy bun. I went and took her hands, kissed her cheek and searched her face for any sign of misgivings. She smiled and said, "I'm starving! What did we get?"

Jake took the opportunity to put the stainless-steel lid back on a plate just to whip it off with a flourish to show her the food. She giggled. "I feel like you should be pulling a rabbit out of your hat with that kind of showmanship," she teased.

Jake grinned, "I can't take credit for cooking it, but it never hurts to show off in front of a beautiful woman."

We all settled in and ate, hungry from the travel and the morning's exertions. "This sandwich is fantastic," Jasmine said, indicating her avocado and egg on brioche. "The cheese is unreal, taste this." She held her sandwich out to me and I obliged, taking a bite, nodding and muttering something about how good it was.

"My smoked salmon is great, want a bite?" I offered. She shook her head, mouth full of the bite that Eli had just given her from his salad that seemed to be made primarily of chicken and olives.

"Oh my God, that salad," she said, "are those walnuts?"

"I don't know, but it's awesome," Eli said, tucking back in to his meal.

"How's yours, Ty?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Considering the magician style presentation we got from Jake, frankly I expected more from my burger. It's good, but it's not, ya know, magical," he said mischievously. We all rolled our eyes at that, and Jake groaned.

"Not to change the subject from Ty's crappy jokes, but we were looking at the outdoor activities around the resort. What were you thinking?" Eli asked Jasmine.

"I know we're going skiing—I hope there's a bunny slope because I've never been and I'm not sure I'm going to be any good at it. I played basketball one year in middle school but that's it for me as far as being athletic."

"Right, so if we need someone to dunk on the other team while we ski, you're our girl," Ty quipped.

"Nah, you go for the shot. I'll guard you," she fired back and we all grinned at her, even Ty.

"There's tobogganing, where you slide down a chute and out across the frozen lake," I said. "Although I should let you know that Ty thinks it's kid stuff."

"Like a water slide but with ice?" she said.

"And you're not supposed to splash at the end," I offered.

"So what you're telling me is that I can go down a big slide and across a frozen lake on a sled and have the satisfaction of knowing that Ty here is scared to do it? Sign me up."

"I'm not afraid of a kiddie slide," he protested.

"Right, so you won't be yelling ‘Shit!' in like five languages while we do this?" she teased.

"Ha ha, very funny," he grumbled.

"You are scared," I said.

"I'm cautious," he corrected.

"You?" I said in disbelief. "No, I'm cautious, Jake is super cautious. You're not the careful one."

"Whatever, I'm going skiing. You guys can sled or go ice skating or make snowmen or something with the other kids," Ty said.

"I'd rather do some cross-country skiing than wait in line for the slide thing," Eli said.

"We can split up, "Ty said. "We'll meet back here for dinner."

I shook my head. Jake took up the cause.

"Let's stay together. If more people want to ski, we'll go ski," he said.

"I think Jasmine should get to decide since she's the only one here who hasn't had a chance to try most of this stuff before," Eli said. I nodded.

"Don't make me choose!" she said. "I mean, look at all of us, you can see how good I am at making decisions! No offense, but my first boyfriend was an abusive stalker. And my second boyfriend is all of you! Doesn't say much for my skills at narrowing down the best options does it?"

"I don't know about that. I personally like your decision-making skills," I said.

My brothers nodded and chimed in.

"Yeah, I'm in favor of whatever you pick, Jas," Eli said. "We can't exactly complain about your taste since you like all of us."

"Truth," Ty said, knocking back the rest of his beer. "As much as I hate to say the words ‘Jake's right,' he is. We'll stay together. Lady's choice."

"What'll it be?" Jake asked, wisely choosing not to gloat.

"I want to try skiing. I hope the boots I brought are okay. They're the furry ones I wear to the office sometimes."

"The ones that look like you found a dead possum by the side of the road and skinned it?" I teased.

"They were seventy percent off!" she protested. "For a guy who wears track pants or workout shorts most of the time you got some opinions on fashion." She laughed. Then she looked at the others. Ty shrugged.

"Total roadkill boots, babe. Sorry," Eli said. Jake nodded in agreement.

"Well I can't wear my flats in the snow and especially not skiing. I think you have to wear a boot to lock your foot in the thing, right?" she said. "So it doesn't matter if you think they're ugly, I still want to ski."

"We got you," Eli said. "We thought of this already and you have ski boots and goggles and stuff waiting in the closet."

"There is no way you did all that. Promise me you didn't buy me stuff, guys. I am so grateful that you included me on this trip and it's hardly costing me a penny—I mean I got a scarf and gloves to come here, and some snacks for the plane, but that's nothing."

Eli stepped up, "The cabin's free, and the amenities. We're only paying for food and the jet fuel which I'm getting at a discount. Even if we were paying for all of this, there's no question of us expecting you to kick in and pay for anything. We didn't include you, Jas. We want you here. There wouldn't be a trip if not for you. Because I think I speak for us all when I say that we wouldn't have gone on a ski trip together if we didn't want to take you someplace nice. This is for you, and you're not an afterthought or a tag along."

I nodded. "We decided what needed to be done ahead of time and we divided up the tasks. Jake wanted to plan a menu for tomorrow evening so he picked out groceries, Ty got some kind of spa stuff like massage oil and bath bombs and different pampering things."

"I picked out the flowers and candles and things. Eli got the ski gear and clothes and shoes. So check out the closet whenever you're ready," I said.

I couldn't wait to give her the beautiful lingerie set I'd chosen for her, but that could wait until tomorrow night. For the time being, she looked torn between excitement and embarrassment, her eyes bright but her cheeks flushed like she felt shy.

"We wanted to," Eli said again. "What kind of vacation would it be if you didn't have warm enough clothes or waterproof stuff? Or, worse, if we invited you someplace that was going to cost you a fortune to prepare for? One of the things we all agree on is the fact we want to spoil you a little. Can you let us do that?"

"I guess so. I've just never felt like that was something I could have, I think. I'm not one of those girls who has a boyfriend picking up the tab at fancy places or surprising them with presents. It feels like I've stumbled into someone else's life. Someone with a clean past, somebody who went to college and has a great metabolism and whose hair will hold a curl instead of going flat. A girl with a charmed life."

It gutted me to hear her talk about herself that way. She believed deep down that she didn't deserve any of this because of her background. She didn't come from money and privilege and had an abusive ex that had done his best to trample her self-esteem.

"Those aren't marks against you," I said before I could stop myself. "You deserve good things because you're human. No matter where you've been. None of us has a clean past like you call it. Nobody comes this far with their hands clean. We all have stuff we wish we'd never done or seen or said."

"Regrets?" Ty said. "Yeah, no question there. But whatever we've all done, it brought us here, to this place, together."

"I'll sure as hell drink to that, little brother," Jake said, raising his longneck in salute.

We all did the same, a silence settling over us because we all felt this so deeply. That our achievements or mistakes had led us here, and it was well worth it.

"At the risk of sounding like I'm going to break into Auld Lang Syne any second now," Eli quipped. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. This is the place, not because of the room service or the view."

"Or the hot tub," Ty interrupted.

"Or the hot tub," Eli conceded. "It's the company. I'd take a rusty old camper that looks like it should have crime scene tape around it as long as I have this crew with me."

"Uh, I'll pass on the crime scene stuff," Jasmine said, wrinkling her nose.

"You know what I mean though," he said, "the setting doesn't matter as much as the people we share it with."

"Aww, E, that's so sweet!" I said in a singsong voice. "That sensitivity training we sent you to really did the trick."

Eli casually flipped me off and then stretched, pushed his chair back.

"I'm going to go check out my ski wardrobe while you guys arm wrestle or have a pissing contest or whatever you do to decide which one is the alpha male today," Jasmine said with a fond smirk.

I admit that when she came out of the bedroom a few minutes later, she wasn't dressed the way I'd expected Eli to go when he chose her skiwear. I thought she'd be all in black, some sleek, techie gear that was on the cutting edge of breathable warmth thanks to a NASA polymer or something. A shiny one-piece that looked like it belonged on a scuba diver going to space or maybe a bright pink puffer and sexy leggings. Instead, she wore a luscious cream colored down bomber jacket that fit her perfectly and some flared gray pants, all of it looking as if it were knitted.

"Wool?" I said, eyebrows up.

"And cashmere. All natural fibers," Eli said proudly.

"You did good, brother," I said approvingly.

The look on Jasmine's face was priceless. She beamed, stroked the soft fabric of her jacket, and adjusted her soft cream and grey fair isle beanie, a dimple showing in her cheek. With a slight blush, she gave a twirl to show the outfit to us all. Her delight was so clear that it gave off a warmth all of us could feel.

We exchanged a look of contentment. We'd done it just right, and Eli's choices had been perfect, luxurious and elegant, warm and special. We shrugged on our own gear. Jake led us to the activities desk while Ty took out a bag and distributed new high-tech sunglasses that reduced the glare and protected us from all kinds of UV rays.

"Do you think it'll be hours before the next excursion leaves to the slopes?" Jasmine asked me.

"If it is, we'll check out the spa or something on-site in the meantime. We'll ski today, no worries," I told her.

Eli cut me a look, "It's a bespoke activity service, bro. No waiting for a scheduled time. They'll take us now."

"You're kidding," Jasmine said.

"It's that kind of place, apparently," Eli said with a grin. I clapped him on the back.

"Well done, brother."

"Is that the ride to the ski lift?" Jasmine interrupted, indicating the stretch SUV limo that pulled up right beside us. A driver stepped out and opened the door, courteously letting Jasmine go ahead of us. We settled in to the leather interior and looked around, impressed.

By the time she'd finished exclaiming about the beautiful scenery out the window, we'd reached the equipment rental spot by the ski lift. We were outfitted almost as soon as we introduced ourselves, since the hotel had messaged them when we left to give them a heads-up.

Once our boots were fastened in and poles sizzed properly, we were on our way. Eli and Ty went ahead in the first gondola and I stayed behind with Jasmine and Jake. Jake was giving us a guidebook-quality summary of why skiing was perfect in this location and which amenities were available after we were finished hitting the slopes and needed to warm up. I listened but my attention was on the hand that gripped my arm like a lifeline.

"If I look down I'll die. I'll melt off this seat and fall to my death. I had no idea that this much of skiing was off of the ground," Jasmine whispered to me, her teeth clenched.

"It's just the lift to get us to the starting place for your first run on the mountain. I know the first time on the lift is no fun, but with your skis on there's no other way to the top."

"Oh, I understand why we have to take the lift. I just hate heights. I want to shut my eyes so I don't have to see it, but I get dizzy when I close my eyes and just imagine the drop from here. Jesus! Look at the two of them jostling around and taking selfies ahead of us," she winced at the antics of the expert skiers in the family who swung on a lift gondola up ahead of us and seemed to be having a rollicking time.

"It's all right. We've got you," I said. "And I won't tell anyone you're afraid of the lift."

"Ugh. Do not tell anyone. Ty would love a good way to prank me about this and if I go down, you're coming with me," she said with a shaky attempt at fierceness that I couldn't help but admire.

When she saw the people a few cars ahead of us leap off the lift and go skidding down the slope, I felt her stiffen beside me.

"Fuck no. I'm not doing that. I thought this was the easy slope?" her voice cracked, eyes wide with fear.

"That doesn't mean it's easy for you or for anyone their first time on the lift. You just bend your knees a little and scoot off the edge."

"It's safe. I swear. You know me, I've checked into it. Now it's time. Grab my hand and I'll pull you," Jake said.

She looked at me as if I was going to stop a maniac from flinging her off the ski lift to her doom. "It's not the huge jump that you think it is. It's more like sliding off the edge of the kitchen counter if you're sitting on it. I swear."

About that time, our daredevil brothers gave us a wave and hopped off the lift. It was our turn. "You can jump or we can pull you gently," I said.

"Those are not. Good. Choices." She said through gritted teeth.

It was like her whole body was locked up in resistance to the idea. Jake and I both took her by an arm decisively. The moment came for us to exit the gondola. We hauled her off and landed on our skis in the snow. We were both careful to stop and let her steady herself.

Our brothers were waiting for us off to the side. I was impressed that they hadn't gone ahead down the slope to announce it was too easy.

"That was it?" she said, looking around incredulously.

We watched as the kids behind us on the lift, who looked about eight years old, jumped neatly to the ground and skidded off merrily down the slope. I checked in to see how she'd react, ready to reassure her if she seemed upset. But she was grinning. A small giggle broke from her and she gave a good-natured shrug.

"I guess I got stressed out over nothing. Let's try this skiing thing out. Otherwise, I'm all dressed up with no place to go."

It hit me again how much I liked this woman. Jake helped her adjust her grip on the poles while Ty gave her a couple of tips on her stance, sincere and patient as I'd ever seen him. She still seemed a little nervous, but with all of us surrounding her and encouraging her, she stood a little straighter and took a deep breath.

"Ok, how's my stance?" she asked.

"Bend your knees a little more," Ty said. "There, that's it. Now, this is the beginner slope. There's an instructor at the top over there and we're going to wait for you and go down together."

She nodded bravely. "Are you sure you guys don't want to go ahead without me?" she offered.

"Never," we all said at once and then looked at each other. "I swear we didn't practice that," I said with a grin. She was beaming, that smile, that warmth warring with disbelief in her eyes that anyone much less all of us would choose her over anything. We hovered around her while she made her way to the instructor who was helping some kids already.

The woman showed Jasmine how to stand, how to stop, how to fall properly. The whole time, Jasmine was serious and avid, wanting to learn to do it well. Eli elbowed me and I looked at him.

"You're so proud of her, right?" he whispered. I nodded.

"Same, bro. Everything she's gone through and she's open to trying this and just letting it all go for a weekend," he said.

"She's a fuckin' legend. Just look at her," Jake said.

"If she backed out I was gonna demand a snowmobile and take her back to the cabin," Ty said.

"You of all people had a backup plan?" I asked. He nodded.

Just then she looked over her shoulder at us, cheeks reddened from the cold, smiling and showing us her stance. She motioned for us to join her. As one, we moved to her side. It was about to be her first run on snow skis and there was no way we'd let her do that alone. On the count of three, we pushed off and went down the mountain together.