Chapter 9

Ashley

The next morning, I woke to the sound of Axon making breakfast. He was roasting some meat over the fire.

My head ached from the emotional hangover from yesterday. So. Many. Feelings. I had started the day off crying in my bed back in the mountain, then I felt happy for the first time in weeks when I decided to leave for the kala. Then I was terrified that I might freeze to death in the rain, and then I was pissed to run into Axon of all people.

Finding out that Axon liked my touch was a nice surprise, but it didn't exactly solve anything. I couldn't touch him and he couldn't touch me. Not that it was a big deal or anything. We're only friends. It's not like we're dying to touch each other.

That was a lie. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to be able to brush his shoulder as I walked by or squeeze his hand for encouragement or hug him for no reason at all.

I opened one eye to see what exactly he was doing, and sure enough, he was sitting on his haunches flipping some meat that was looking deliciously medium rare.

You know what I really want? The thing I've been trying to deny the most because it hurt too much? I want to cuddle. I'm not sure that Axon even likes me romantically, but if he did and if we figured out this whole touching thing, I'd love to cuddle with him.

He had a nice broad chest and short white hair that I'd love to run my fingers through. I might not be super interested in sex, but damn, did I like a good cuddle.

"Breakfast is ready," Axon called over his shoulder. I smiled to myself. He must have heard my change in breathing or something.

As I sat up and stretched, I spotted a row of crystals lining my bed of furs. They were purple and pink, similar to rose quartz and amethyst.

"Where did you get these?" I picked up a rose quartz cluster to examine it closer.

"There's a cave not too far from this one full of crystals. There's even really big ones growing from the ceiling."

"Stalactites! I'd love to see that cave!"

Axon chuckled at my response. "We'll go after breakfast then."

The way he smiled at me made my heart race. That was another feeling I had to sort through. I did like Axon and he might like me, but he might just want to be friends. I didn't know for sure. He hadn't really indicated that he'd want more than that. Stop, stop, stop . I chastised myself. None of that mattered. I was going to wait for luminescence and that was final.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked.

"Fresh ramirei meat with nuts and berries."

"Fresh ramirei? Did you catch it this morning?"

"Yeah, I woke up early and wanted something to do."

"I've noticed you're a morning person. No matter how early I get up, you're already at the cook fire," I commented.

Axon shrugged. "I'm a light sleeper. I can't seem to sleep in, even if I wanted to."

"That's too bad." I loved sleeping in.

"I'm used to it."

"I've gotten the sense that you can generally hear everything around you way more than the other shifters can. How far does that ability go?"

Axon stopped what he was doing and closed his eyes. I tried to listen to the world around us as he did. The rain was pouring down, but from in here, it sounded like a light trickle. The fire crackled, and the tiny stream made a small bubbling sound as it flowed over the rocks.

"In one of the far away tunnels," he began. "there are two mice sharing a piece of food. I can hear their teeth cutting through the morsel, and if they were closer, I might be able to hear their whiskers cutting through the air as they ran."

"Wow, that's impressive." Here I was just listening to the rain and the fire.

"I bet you can hear bigger animals like the jagwas from a mile away."

Axon smiled and looked at the meat again. "Yeah, they're pretty loud."

"What about the rain? Does that bother you?" I would think the sound of rain would be unbearable for him.

"It does at first, but I get desensitized to it after a while."

Axon served me the cooked meat on a plate of leaves. He sat down across from me and scooted close enough that our knees were almost touching.

I suddenly become aware of how loud my chewing must sound to him and started chewing my food much slower and softer.

Axon's vision was not great from what I'd been told by him and the others. So sometimes he could have a far off look on his face, like he did now. However, once I started chewing much slower, he looked at me with the corners of his mouth turned up in a knowing smirk.

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?" I tried to play it off.

"You're trying to eat quieter. Don't."

"It's just you and me in here. Surely the sound of me eating isn't very pleasant for you," I argued.

"I like the way you eat. There's a softness to the way you chew. "

"Really?" I found that hard to believe. "You're not grossed out by the sounds people make when they eat?"

"I didn't say that," Axon laughed. I liked the way his pointed elf ears rose and fell with each exhalation.

"Some people sound downright disgusting when they eat. Lumod is the worst of them all. He could be eating dry grains and still find a way to make a slurping sound, but I'm used to it. I guess I've gotten desensitized to it over time."

"Will you tell me if there are any sounds that I make that you don't like?"

"I like all your sounds." Axon didn't shy away. He held my gaze as if he were making sure that his words penetrated into my soul.

"Oh," I looked away first. My cheeks were hot, and I knew I must have been blushing.

"Last night you didn't sound like how you usually do when you sleep," he continued. "You tossed and turned a lot. Was your bed uncomfortable?"

"Axon, I was lying on fifteen blankets. Of course my bed was comfortable," I laughed. "And you listen to the sounds I make when I sleep? How can you tell me apart from all the other women in the cavern?"

"I memorized the way you sound that first night when we met. Your nose whistles a little when you breathe. It makes it easy for me to pick you out of a crowd," he admitted.

"Wow, I had no idea. Do you listen to me every night? "

Axon chose not to answer that question and just shrugged his shoulders.

"What was disturbing your sleep?" he pressed on.

"I... I just had a lot on my mind. It took me a while to fall asleep."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He ventured.

"Not really," I sighed. I was still sorting out my feelings myself. I wasn't sure adding another person's opinion to the mix would be a good idea.

After a long moment of silence, Axon tried again. "It can be difficult to talk about things sometimes. If it helps, you can ask me anything you want."

He glanced up from his food with a hopeful expression on his face. Maybe it would help to talk to someone about what was going on with me. I felt settled and at peace about my ace identity, but the question of what I was going to do when I luminesed was another matter entirely.

"Thank you for the offer. I'll think about it." I didn't feel brave enough to discuss it right now, but maybe after a few days of being stuck in this cave together, I'd feel more inclined to have that conversation.

After I finished eating, I checked on my clothes and found they were dry. I changed in the private cave off to the side of the main cavern and breathed a sigh of relief to be fully clothed again.

I walked back to the fire to find Axon had just finished cleaning up from our meal.

"Do you want to check out the crystal cave?" he asked.

"I'd love to! Is it far?"

"No, it's not too far," he assured me.

There were three tunnels that split off from the main cavern. We took the one furthest to the right. As we walked, the tunnel got darker and darker. Every once in a while, I could feel a draft when we passed a connecting tunnel. It was incredible that Axon could navigate this place.

I tripped over a rock and Axon caught me, careful to only touch my clothes and not my skin.

"Here, hold on to my belt as we walk." Axon pointed to his woven leather belt. I gently curled my fingers around the fabric, careful not to touch his skin, either.

It was different now between us. There was less tension now that I knew he liked my touch, but he just couldn't handle it. I was less afraid of how he'd react if I brushed against his skin, and his lighthearted side had returned. It was nice.

After a few more twists and turns in the tunnel system, we entered a large cavern with walls that sparkled in the darkness.

"Here." Axon bent down and put something on the ground. Then I heard the familiar sound of flint as he struck his fire starter stones together over a torch. The sparks made by the flit momentarily lit up the room over and over until the torch finally caught fire .

"There we go."

He stood up to his full height looking very proud of himself as he held the torch up high, spreading the light all across the room.

The sight of the crystalline walls and the massive stalactites descending from the ceiling took my breath away. The crystals cast a pink and purple glow as soon as the firelight hit their sparkly surface.

I wish I was an artist so I could paint what I was seeing and capture this moment forever. I even longed for paper and a pen so I could at least describe in words what I could hardly believe I was seeing with my own eyes.

Instead, I had to commit the sight to memory, hoping it would not fade over time.

I looked over at Axon to see what his reaction might be, but he wasn't looking at the crystals on the wall, he was looking at me.