Chapter 24

Ashley

I loved having Axon's arms around me. We laid in the furs and talked for a while, and now he wore a big smile with his eyes closed as I played with his hair. My leg was starting to cramp up so I shifted my weight, and as I did so, I grazed a very hard cock with my thigh.

My first reaction was a learned response from a slew of ex-boyfriends. My chest tightened with anxiety as I anticipated a request to start touching each other, but this was Axon, my mate, he wouldn't pressure me to do anything I didn't want to do.

It would be so easy to just reach down and touch him. I liked the idea of watching him lose his breath and his face twist in pleasure, but the moment I started to picture the reality of touching or being touched in that way, my interest all but went away.

The thought did appeal to me more tonight than usual, which made sense. The big moon was almost full, and I'd noticed in the past few months that my arousal peaked at the full moon. My cycle must have synced with the lunar cycle as well.

"Ashley," my name was a whisper on my mate's lips. "I can...smell your arousal. If you have need of me, my fingers, tongue, and body are at your disposal."

The thought of being touched by Axon made me feel happy. But when I pictured his hands touching me in my most sensitive areas, or his tongue on my sex, the fantasy of sex suddenly became too much.

I was tempted to lie, like I'd done many times before for much lesser men, but I didn't want our relationship to be like that. I didn't want our first time to be marred by dishonesty. Axon was my mate, and it would be good to know how he'd react if I rejected his offer.

"No thank you." I couldn't get my voice above a whisper. I wish I was braver than that, but I wasn't. "Sorry."

At my words, Axon opened his eyes. There wasn't a trace of disappointment on his face, just concern. He cupped my cheek in his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Don't be sorry. I only wish to cuddle, nothing more." He stopped and thought carefully about his next words. "I need you to know that I find you incredibly attractive and I'd jump at the chance to explore your body in ways that make my mouth water, but I am content to lie here and cuddle."

"Yes, but you're aroused."

"So? My arousal is mine to deal with. It's my body. I have two hands. I can use either one to relieve myself anytime I wish. My arousal is not your concern or your problem to fix. Do you understand? "

"Yes," my voice was watery and I had to look away from Axon's beautifully compassionate face.

Being with Axon at this moment, and seeing how much he just wanted to be with me whether we had sex or not, made me realize how low of a bar I'd given each of my boyfriends on earth and they still failed to rise to it. What was so hard about just wanting to be with someone you loved? I was feeling both overwhelmed with joy, but also extremely angry that my past experiences couldn't be like this, and Axon held me through it all, every emotion, every tear.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you said something very right. Something I wish I'd heard a long time ago."

Axon squeezed me tighter, as if he could squeeze every bad memory out of me, and maybe after a lifetime of cuddling he would. What an amazing life that would be.

Axon

Something I said had an impact on Ashley, but I wasn't sure what it was. Had her past relationships been so bad that me respecting her wishes to not have sex when she didn't want to would bring on such emotions? I wanted to fight every male she'd lain with. I wanted them to feel sorry for making her feel anything less than perfect just the way she was.

Eventually, her tears stopped and her breathing evened out. Once her body fully relaxed against me, I knew she was asleep. The fire had died down, so I got up to put a few more logs in the fire pit. My cock was still hard as a rock. Having Ashley's soft body pressed against me for so long certainly had its effects.

I looked back at Ashley's sleeping form one more time before exiting the cave. The big moon was almost full, which meant that our chance to lumines was just around the corner. It was just my luck that as soon I needed the goddess most, is when I would stop believing in her altogether.

If there was a goddess, I'd ask her for this one thing, this one request, that Ashley would be mine in every way possible. I longed to lumines to her so that there'd be nothing to separate us. The thought of her glowing for another caused my chest to tighten and made it hard to breathe.

We were mates, true, and we'd confessed our feelings for each other, but I was a selfish male and I wanted more. I wanted it all.

I leaned against the rock wall and sighed. My worrying wasn't going to force luminescence. All I could do was enjoy every moment we had together and hope that it would be enough. Surly, the universe itself had born witness to my love for the soft human lying but a few feet away from me in that cave.

I needed a distraction or I wouldn't get any sleep tonight, and I wanted to be in perfect condition for whatever we might face tomorrow. If I wasn't, I risked us getting captured or worse.

I unlaced my pants and let my cock unfurl before me. Circling the base of my cock with my fingers, I gave it one rough stroke to get started.

"Ashley," I whispered her name into the night and let the memories of holding her float through my mind uninhabited.

A pearl of precum slipped from my tip and I used it to slick my shaft.

"Ashley," I whispered her name again as I started a slow rhythm of up and down strokes, but this time I focused my thoughts on our time together in the bathing chamber. Her naked body pressing against mine. Her breasts floating in the water, a beautiful tease.

I increased the speed of my strokes and twisted my hand on my cock head and imagined it was Ashley's hand stroking me instead of my own.

"Ashley," I sent her name into the wind as a plea, a request, a petition. My knees grew weak as I continued to stroke myself and I had to lean against the wall to keep myself up right .

"Ashley," this time her name was a whimper. I was so close now. So close.

My hand was slick with my precum and the sounds my skin made as I slapped against it were loud and satisfying. I could imagine it was Ashley's skin slapping against mine, her moans filling my ears instead of my own.

One day it would be, and what a glorious day that would be.

The image of Ashley moaning beneath me floated through my mind as I roared out my release and fell to my knees.

I drew the cool night air into my lungs with short greedy gasps. Ashley was not even physically with me, and yet the mere image of her allowed me to find satisfaction and relief. What more could a male want than a loving, kind, beautiful mate to cuddle with each night, and the ability to satisfy himself with thoughts of her whenever he had need? I had no answer to that question, because there was none. I was with Ashley and I wanted for nothing.