8. Losing Control

Eight

Losing Control

Elena

My roommates were quiet last night, but as I creep down the stairs, I hear them. Of all the days I was hoping to sneak out of the house without seeing anyone, they just happen to all be awake. The girls are at the kitchen counter, Jasmine with a coffee and Lucy and Cindy eating cereal out of bowls.

As I walk in further, I spot Jeremy. "Here she is," he says, and all eyes are on me. I swallow hard and smile.

As I walk to the coffee machine, Jeremy steps over toward me. "Axle from the motorcycle club, hey? I heard the War Brothers Motorcycle Club parties are epic. You'll have to invite us when you go."

"Oh yes," Cindy chimes in.

"Woah!" I say and lift my hand. "I've only just met Axle." Would I like to get to know him more? Possibly.

"Lucy said you were kissing him," Jasmine says, pouting.

My eyes flick straight to Lucy, but she looks away, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm just saying, we're all friends, so don't forget about us," Jeremy says.

"I can't believe you went on a date with him. Those bikers don't date. Are you seeing him again?" asks Jasmine.

I'm not a liar, but a part of me wants to lie to them. "I'm seeing him today, after work." Lucy and Cindy squeal in unison, making me flinch.

"I've never known any of them to go on dates. They only have sex," says Jasmine matter-of-factly. Lucy swats her arm.

The coffee machine beeps, signaling that my coffee is ready, but the conversation has put me off, so I grab the mug and empty the drink down the sink. I'm not sure whether Jasmine was suggesting that I was lying or that I was sleeping with him, so I say, "Well, I told Axle I'm not having sex with him, and he still wants to see me."

Lucy shakes her head. "Don't worry about Jasmine. She's jealous. I've heard Axle's a wild one, but have fun, and I want to hear all about it when you get back from your date."

Cindy sighs. "He's got heartbreak written all over him."

"If you think he wants anything more than a quick fuck, you're sorely mistaken."

I step back, puzzled by Jasmine's snappishness.

"Just let her have her fun," Lucy pipes up.

Jasmine rolls her eyes. "You're heading for disaster. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I give them a forced smile and hurry out. My breaths are shaky as I get in my car and pull the door closed. They've made me doubt myself, but it still doesn't make sense. Why would Axle waste his time when I've said I won't sleep with him if that's all he wants? He evidently has no issues getting women.

After my short drive to work, I walk into the restaurant to see Mel and Cameron at the counter. When they look up at me, Mel's eyes narrow and Cameron shakes his head. My stomach drops. What have I done wrong? I frantically think back to the last shift. I don't recall making any mistakes.

Despite the leisurely pace with which I approach them, my heart races. I need this job. I'll just apologize and tell Cameron that whatever I've done wrong, it won't happen again.

"You're a liar," Mel says bitterly.

I sharply inhale. "What did I lie about?"

"You said your date was uneventful. I didn't realize hooking up outside your house with Axle was uneventful for you. If he's so boring, I'll have him."

That's what they're annoyed about. I was stressed out, thinking I had done something wrong at work. I exhale slowly. She's testing me, even though I hate conflict. If she likes Axle so much, I can't understand why she told me to talk to him.

"I didn't feel it was necessary to share every detail about the date."

"I'm surprised you'd associate yourself with the likes of him." Disgust drips from Cameron's every word. "He's a criminal... the whole MC is bad news."

Mel scoffs. "You don't know that. What do they do to make them criminals?"

Cameron crosses his arms in front of him. "Everyone knows they are."

Mel gives him a pointed look. "You can't even answer the question. You don't know what the MC does."

When Cameron turns to me, his gaze softens. "I'm worried about you. I don't know why you'd put yourself in danger like that."

Mel puts her arm around my shoulders and walks me away from Cameron. "Just ignore Cameron. He's jealous that the MC members get more ass than him. If I thought Axle was dangerous, I'd tell you. It surprised me that you're going on dates with him because I didn't think he dated." I experience a slight sense of relief until she says, "The good girl falling for the bad boy. God help you!"

"I'm not falling for him."

She raises a brow. "Are you planning to see him again?"

I hesitate before I answer. "After work."

A slow smile curves across her lips. "You wouldn't see him again if you weren't interested."

Back home after my shift, I sift through my wardrobe with a growing sense of dread. I have no idea what to wear. He'll be here any minute. My hands tremble slightly as I pull on my favorite light-blue jeans and a pale pink T-shirt.

I've straightened my long blond hair, and I'm wearing lip balm and light makeup. With each step down the stairs, my nervousness intensifies. My hands feel clammy. He's probably used to being with confident, beautiful women, and I'm nothing like that. I peer down at what I'm wearing and wince. I hesitate and think about changing, but then I hear the familiar rumble of a motorcycle. This will have to do.

I bolt down the last few steps and outside, grateful that all my roommates are at college. As I walk out the door, Axle's pulling his helmet off. I quicken my pace, and his eyes meet mine. He smiles, making me smile right back. Excitement and nerves collide within me while I head toward his bike. I should take others' opinions lightly and decide for myself about him.

With his wicked trademark smile, he says, "Ready to go for a ride?"

"Sure," I answer as I glance down at his bike, remembering how fun the last ride was. But then I whack him.

He rubs his arm, exaggerating the pain. "What was that for?"

"The burnout you did. Don't do it—it's dangerous. You could have been hurt."

He stares at me a while before he says, "I've been doing tricks on bikes my whole life. I know what I'm doing."

I shake my head, then jut out my chin. "It's reckless and I don't like it."

He grants me a genuine smile. "I won't do it around you. How's that?"

"I'd prefer you not do it at all." Why risk the chance of getting hurt?

"Hmmm... bossy. I like it." He slips the helmet over my head and fastens the straps under my chin, then takes a step back as his eyes caress every inch of my body. "You're sexy as fuck, babe."

"Thank you," I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper. I felt underdressed before, but the hunger in his eyes makes me feel truly seen for the first time and strangely validated. "You look good too," falls from my mouth. I'm so lame.

He chuckles. "Yeah, I do." He's oh so modest.

I climb onto the bike and shuffle closer to him. I lace my arms wrap around his torso. His body feels lean and athletic. It stirs a curiosity in me about what he might look like shirtless, a thought that starts a small thrill fluttering in my stomach. The sensation is both exciting and frightening, and I'm acutely aware of the danger he represents—in more ways than one.

"Hold on tight," Axle says over the rumble of the bike. He pulls the motorcycle out onto the road.

The gust of air on my face and the road rushing beneath me have me smiling widely. With my cheek pressed against his back, I peer out as we pass by the beach and ride further along to the lake, where he parks in the closest parking spot.

When I get off the bike, my smile comes naturally. "That's so much fun!"

After he gets off the bike, I pass him the helmet, and he hangs it over one handlebar. "You're easy to please... No need to thank me."

He pulls me into him, his arm around my shoulders, and we walk across the grass to the sand. As we stroll along, I gaze up at him. "Are you trying to woo me, sweep me off my feet with a walk along the water?" I tease.

His lip twitches. "Is it working?"

I press my lips together, not wanting to sound too eager. Since I've met him, it's been a whirlwind of surprises. Walking along the lake was not what I expected we would be doing. Everyone was so wrong about him.

"I'll take that as a yes," he says, grinning smugly.

I don't argue the point. "What made you choose the lake?" I ask instead.

"I prefer not to be surrounded by civilians." He chuckles as he peers down at the sand. "Dating is new to me, so I didn't know where else to go."

"Next time, it would be great to just hang out at home. Watch a few movies or something."

"Next time?" he smirks. "Netflix and chill," he adds in an overly sexual voice. He chuckles. That sounds like so much more than just watching Netflix.

"Well, yes... just hanging out watching TV."

He grabs his chest like he's in pain. "Don't sound too enthusiastic. You're breaking my big biker heart," he teases.

I've come to learn it's just him. Everything is highly amusing, and he's got no filter. He says it in a way that's not sleazy, but everything's a joke to him. He's cheeky and quick-witted.

I playfully elbow him. "I'll hang out with you... but I'm not having sex with you," I say with my chin high in the air as I smother a smile.

"You're missing out," he quips. "I'll fucking ruin you for every other man."

My body heats and my cheeks burn. I rub my forehead. I need to snap out of it. I like the attention, but what sane, straight woman wouldn't like the attention of a sexy, fun biker with a killer smile?

"Where do you live?" I ask.

"At the clubhouse with the rest of my War Brothers MC brothers."

"Do you guys have parties there?" I ask, since everyone keeps talking about them.

His smile kicks up. "Yeah, we do."

I wonder what his friends are like. If they are anything like him, I think I'll like them too. "Will I get to meet your friends?"

He stops walking, so I pause. He's giving me a strange look. "Let me get this straight. You want to meet my friends... the bikers?"

I'm curious, but also a little scared. "I'm interested in learning more about you." He seems close to his friends.

He laughs and pulls me in tighter. "You're always surprising me."

That goes both ways. I remember all of them riding down the street, dressed up in black and leather, on their motorcycles. I frown. "What are they like? Will they hurt me?"

"What? Hell no. We don't hurt women."

"Do you all have orgies? I know you do illegal stuff, but how illegal? Do you kill people?" The word vomit is unstoppable.

He laughs. "Some people have sex with more than one person at once."

So that's a yes.

"And no, we just don't go around killing people." He didn't say he hadn't, though. "I can't tell you about what we do. It's club business. Being in our motorcycle club means we don't answer to anybody but ourselves when it comes to our brothers and our club."

"I've never experienced having friends who are like family. It must feel great to belong somewhere."

He picks me up, wraps my legs around his hips, and puts his hands on my ass. I squeal, then laugh in surprise.

"I think you're belonging somewhere right about now." His voice is raspy and seductive, but his eyes remain playful.

Stupidity and lust drive my arms around his neck, my hands snaking to the back of his head, into his hair, while I lean in and touch my lips to his. It starts off slow, but in true Axle fashion, it takes no time to become heated. My skin burns as our tongues duel and the passion intensifies. He squeezes my ass. I softly tug his hair, enticing a groan from his lips.

A phone rings faintly in the background, making him pause. "Fuck," he mumbles. He gently places me on my feet and brings his phone to his ear.

"Yeah," he answers. "Now?" He growls. " Fine . I'm on my way." He peers back at me. "Sorry, babe. I've got church."

I can't help but laugh. "You go to church? Really?"

"Not that type of church. It's where we hold club meetings."

My shoulders drop. Our date has been cut short. "Oh, okay."

He cups my jaw and searches my eyes. "Are you sure you want to meet my friends?"

Axle isn't as bad as people say. I'm sure his friends are the same, but I'd be silly not to feel some apprehension. I mutter, "Sure," trying to mask my uncertainty.

"You're going to see shit you're not going to like, and the men cuss like me." He's giving me an out, but I still want to go.

"You and your friends can cuss in front of me. I'm not a saint."

He flashes me a sexy smile. "I know that. Take tomorrow's lunch shift off, and I'll bring you to the clubhouse then."

I bite my lip. As much as I'd like to, I can't lose this job. "I can't. I'm working."

His brows furrow. "The night shift too?" he asks.

I nod. "I'm new. I need to make a good impression."

"Oh, you've made an impression alright," he says, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.

"I. Told. You. Your boss wants to bang you. The guy's a creep and a pussy. Don't trust him."

I still. Axle's tone is mainly playful, but there's an edge to it I haven't heard before. I have Cameron warning me about Axle, and Axle warning me about Cameron, which is a little confusing. But I want to be independent... That means I get to choose who I'm friends with based on my own opinions and nobody else's.

"The atmosphere is different later in the night at the clubhouse. Don't yell at me when you hate it, because you and your judgy eyes will."

I scoff. "I won't yell at you." I can't guarantee I won't judge, but I'll try to do my best. I don't know what I'll be walking into.

I get on the motorcycle, and we ride back to mine. Every minute, disappointment festers. I yearn to get to know him. The short dates haven't been enough, and I still have so many questions. It's been eye-opening getting to know someone so different from me. We might be opposites, but we get along like I've known him for years.

After I get off his bike, I remove the helmet and pass it to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," he says softly.

I lean in to kiss him, but he pulls back. One of his hands is twitching by his side. "I only have so much self-control. I want to stay with you, but I really need to get back to the clubhouse, and the way you kiss..." He shakes his head. "Let's just say, your halo doesn't fool me."

I'm smiling a big, cheesy smile right back at him.