23. ~Hidden Truth ~

CHAPTER 23

When had the suspicion taken hold of me? I didn't know. Perhaps it wasn't a moment I could single out but the result of many subtle incidents. Somehow, I could overcome her questionable actions, even the atrocity she committed with the vines and gladioli. Although I hadn't forgotten it, out of pure consideration for Margaret, I forgave Mrs. White. As for Alex, his innocent insensitivity to my feelings hurt, but I loved him too much to stay angry. However, this new awareness haunted me.

It had been an uncomfortable drive back to the manor from London. We arrived late in the evening, and after supper, we retreated to the drawing room.

"What's wrong, my lady? You hardly touched your food tonight." Alex took the armchair by the crackling fire.

"I'm quite tired. It's been a long day." Not wanting to alarm him, I did my best to hide how frail I felt. Alex had recently been appointed to take my father's place in the army. His responsibilities amid the war vexed him mentally and emotionally, and I didn't want to burden him with my health. However, for the past week, nausea and a sensation of dizziness replaced my appetite, challenging my pretense.

"You look pale. Maybe we should ring for the doctor."

"Nonsense. I'll feel better in the morning." I lay down on the sofa across from his chair. "If I fall asleep, carry me to the bedroom." I smiled.

Alex grabbed the coverlet and tucked it around me. "I sure will." He kissed my cheek and returned to his seat to read the newspaper.

Soon, my eyelids drooped. The warmth from the fire enveloped me, and I drifted into a light sleep. But it wasn't long before I heard the door open, followed by footsteps. I knew those almost imperceptible footsteps too well by now. Mrs. White sauntered across the room to Alex and placed the tea tray on the coffee table.

Too comfortable to sit up, I remained as if I were asleep, watching her through my eyelashes.

She poured a cup of tea and handed it to him.

"Thank you, Mrs. White." Alex didn't look up from his reading.

"It's a bit dark in here." She turned on the lamp behind him.

"That helps. Thanks." He thumbed through to another page.

"Would you like a blanket for your legs?" she asked.

"No, that's not necessary."

"Well then, allow me. The fire is dying down," she offered.

"Please, don't bother. I can do it." Still, Alex didn't look at her.

"It's no bother at all." She propped a log on top of the embers and waited for it to catch before adding another.

None of this would've seemed out of the ordinary except for the way she executed it all. The way she moved around him, the way she bent over the fire, the way she leaned above him alarmingly evidenced her desire. Only my presence prevented her from touching him. And she grew more brazen with each passing day.

My stomach twisted in revulsion. "I'll have some tea as well." I bolted upright.

Startled, Mrs. White stepped away from Alex. "Yes, of course, Mrs. Sterling." She reached for the teapot.

"I'll do it myself. You may leave now," I said brusquely.

"My lady, did you get any rest?" It was the first time Alex's attention left the paper.

"Not much."

Mrs. White withdrew with a dark expression. Jealousy, perhaps?

This incident solidified my suspicion. Mrs. White loved Alex. Would he believe me if I told him? Not likely. He would laugh. Could I prove it? No. She would never admit to it. Would I allow her to stay? Margaret would be offended if I let Mrs. White go without reason. Would I confront her in private or ignore her actions? I didn't know.

Snowflakes coated the windowpane. Behind me, a crowd interacted joyfully. Forti Radici hosted a Christmas party once again. The year 1916 had come to an end, and the New Forest lay under a blanket of snow. It had been the best and worst year of my life—a year I gained and lost more than words could express.

I reflected on the experiences that willingly or unwillingly were mine. The deep wounds in my heart had molded my soul. The scars were permanent, but time had been merciful, and the hope of being with my loved ones in the afterlife helped me manage the grief. Nevertheless, every time it surfaced, I found refuge in happy memories of my loved ones.

Positivity took over as I concentrated on how lucky I was to have had my brother, Father, Mrs. Allerton, and Mr. Leroy in my life. My heart filled with gratitude instead of misery. It also helped me enjoy what I now had, with Alex at its center. His love was the anchor in my life. So, as the new year approached, I was blessed with peace, inside and out. The physical discomfort of the past couple of months left me, and I finally knew its source, which added to my happiness.

I strolled to the library and joined Alex on the piano bench. To the admiration of our guests, he played some of Beethoven's best pieces.

"Your playing is heavenly," I whispered.

"I know," he replied a little smugly. "I owe it to my mother, who chased me with a stick if I didn't practice."

"Thank goodness for Margaret." I glanced at the women in the room and saw they were spellbound. "I also imagine you know the effect your musical skills have on the ladies."

"It's not just my musical skills. It's my looks."

I rolled my eyes. "You are insufferable, Lieutenant."

"I know. But you are distracting me, and I must keep up the entertainment."

"I think I'll continue to distract you. I don't like the attention you are getting."

"Are you jealous, Mrs. Sterling?"

"I wouldn't be human if I wasn't."

Suddenly, his fingers froze, and the piano fell silent. He took my face into his hands and kissed me soundly, stealing my breath. The crowd cheered and applauded. I knew I blushed because my cheeks were on fire.

"Do you feel better now?" A wide smile spread across his face.

"Much better. Much better." I hoped he caught the sarcasm in my voice. His gaze took on that shine I had come to love so much, and fearing that he would kiss me again, I stood. "I won't distract you any longer. Do continue."

Pleased with himself, he resumed. I headed to the dining room, where the large table overflowed with Mr. Grant's best pies, vegetable dishes, and desserts, all ingredients locally grown. And even with my hearty appetite, I found it hard to decide.

"You should try the lemon cake." Thomas had a good variety of goodies on his plate.

"Ah, it's always a great choice." I picked up a piece.

"It's wonderful to see you so cheerful."

"Thanks, Thomas."

"Everything is delicious." He swallowed another bite of trifle. "You have done a marvelous job with the party."

"I'm afraid Mrs. White planned most of it."

"Knowing you, that's hard to believe." He smiled.

"I may have helped a bit."

"How are you getting along with her?" Thomas motioned toward the hall, where Mrs. White went from room to room, watching over the guests and ensuring they were well cared for.

"Why do you ask?" I finished the lemon cake and placed a slice of fruitcake on my plate.

"She doesn't strike me as the friendly type. She seems uptight, like a feline ready to pounce."

Interesting assessment.

As if sensing that we spoke of her, Mrs. White glanced at us. Her eyes had recently grown cooler than usual. I faked a smile, and she moved on. Even though I would've loved to, I refrained from telling Thomas how much I distrusted her, especially because Alex, his superior, had hired her.

"She is efficient at her job. That's all that matters, right?"

"If you say so." Stepping closer, he softly asked, "How are you truly doing?"

"The truth? I thought I would never feel balanced again, but I am getting there."

"I'm thrilled to hear that," Thomas said around another mouthful of trifle.

"Though I still miss them." The words flowed naturally, sincerely.

"I can imagine. General Contini's absence is greatly felt in the army. It takes time."

"I hope General Sterling is not disappointing at headquarters."

"He is managing well, and judging by what I have seen here today, he is also succeeding at home."

"I can't complain. But enough of us. What have you been up to besides work?"

"Not much." He avoided my gaze.

"Not true," I accused. "Tell me."

"Sounds like you already know." He was right. I had heard comments here and there. "Yes, it's true. Catherine and I are seeing each other."

"That's great news! You make a perfect couple."

"Shh. Not so loud. People will hear."

"What is wrong with that?"

"Rumors spread like wildfire, and people will be planning my wedding before I know it."

"And there is no wedding?"

"Not yet. It's too soon."

"Speaking of Catherine, where is she? I wish she had come."

"In London with family for the week."

"I see."

Thomas filled his cup with fresh lemonade and gulped it down. "Florence, there's something different about you, something unusual." He contemplated me for a moment. "I'm not sure how to describe it."

I was surprised he perceived the change taking place in me, but I couldn't tell him until I told Alex. "I think it's called peace. Thomas, I am quite content."

Christmas day arrived with a blinding light. The sun's rays glistened off the blanket of snow and filled the woods with a celestial glow. I shifted from the window and returned to bed, where Alex slept on. l brushed my fingers across his back, my stomach twisting with anticipation. He shifted to his side, and I slipped into his arms.

"Happy Christmas." He kissed my forehead.

"Happy Christmas to you."

"Do you want to know something?" he asked.

"I don't know. Do I?"

"Yes."

"Tell me, then," I said.

"I love you."

"Ah, I did know that."

"You take advantage of that, don't you?" He pinched my waist playfully.

"Quite soon, you won't be able to do that."

"And why is that?" He got up and pulled on his shirt.

"General, you are going to be a father."

He beheld me in awe. "Are you serious? Are you sure?" He jumped back into the bed on his knees.

"I've waited two months to tell you to be absolutely sure."

"Florence, that's wonderful. I can't believe it!" He placed his hand on my belly.

"If I've calculated correctly, the baby will come in July."

"This is the best Christmas gift." He planted a kiss on my lips. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." I returned the kiss. "Your parents will be thrilled, especially your mother."

"I can't wait to tell them." Alex's gaze wandered dreamily beyond the room. "If it's a girl, we'll call her little lady."

I laughed, knowing it didn't matter. Either way, this child would be our greatest joy.

By June, Dr. Jones prohibited me from riding horses. I had pushed his decision far enough and could avoid it no longer.

"It's too dangerous in your condition," he had said. "You're done riding for a while." I felt as if my legs were cut off, but I strictly obeyed.

Since my belly had grown considerably, making it difficult to move about, I hunkered down at the manor while the war raged on, and Alex continued to spend most of his time in London. I'd missed the last two trips to with him and depended more and more on Mrs. White to handle any needs that arose. Her apparent dislike for me and my distrust toward her hadn't diminished, but having been away as much as we had in the past year helped me cope with the situation. I still didn't have a tangible reason to let her go.

The tiny person inside me became more active than ever. Every day, I felt his little legs pressing against my ribs and his little fists waking me up in the morning. Though I couldn't see him yet, our connection transcended the physical realm. He flourished within my womb, soaking up the love and excitement I held for him, and in turn, I thrived, experiencing his growth and sensing his innocence. His company eased the loneliness of Alex's absences, especially when sleep eluded me.

Tonight was one of those nights. Yesterday, Alex left for London to arrange a leave from the army so he could be here to receive our child. I lay on my side, a pillow propped under my belly. Outside the open window, a symphony of cicadas and crickets brought the night to life. Though there was no breeze to chase away the stifling air. I turned to my other side, but nothing helped. I was hot and restless.

"A cup of milk will help you relax," I recalled Mrs. Allerton's counsel when as a child I feared the dark. It was worth a try. From deep within the house, the grandfather clock, a relic from the 1800s, struck twelve times.

My swollen legs felt heavy and slow as I left my bedroom and descended the staircase, holding my tummy. One step at a time, Florence. I stepped onto the landing and heaved a breath. I followed the winding corridor while the baby kicked against my ribs as if possessed. Taking another deep breath, I paused, hoping to dissuade him from another kick. Two more kicks, and he finally relented. I resumed my march and noticed a sliver of light coming from the kitchen's partly open door. Then, voices reached my ears. It was odd. Who could be up at this time of night? I inched closer.

"You are a fool!" Mrs. White hissed.

"The only fool here is you. Why won't you accept it? You are wasting your life, and for what? In pursuit of the impossible," Mr. Vines cried angrily.

"He is young and stubborn, but sooner or later, he'll accept his love for me."

"How can he accept something that doesn't exist? Something which will never exist?" Mr. Vines refuted. "Free yourself from the obsession and give me a chance."

"Don't be an idiot. One doesn't let go easily when love is so deep."

"Why won't you allow me to prove you wrong? You know how I feel about you." His voice softened. "I've been faithful to you through it all, even Frederick."

"Don't you dare threaten me." Her voice vibrated with something more than anger. Was it fear?

"I'm not threatening you. I'm trying to help you see how strongly I feel about you."

"Well, you know how I feel about him. Just like you are willing to wait for me, I'm willing to wait for him."

"You can't ignore that your situations are completely different. He will never be yours. He has everything a man could ask for—a career, a beautiful wife, and soon a child. He has a family."

"Well then, if he is not with me, he might be better off alone." My blood froze at the viciousness in her words. "You know very well that I won't hesitate in removing any obstacles."

"Deborah, for heaven's sake!" he cried.

They spoke of Alex. I had been right all along. She'd fallen in love with him. Remove the obstacles? What was this woman capable of? I made the decision in a split second. For now, they couldn't know I had overheard their conversation. Without Alex, I was unsafe and vulnerable under my own roof. With my heartbeat thumping in my ears, I retraced my steps to my bedroom, locked the door, and climbed into bed, but I knew sleep wouldn't come. My physical discomfort paled in comparison to the threat of the woman obsessed with my husband. "If he is not with me, he might be better off alone." Her words pounded in my head. My child and I were in danger.

"Alex, you must come home at once," I said over the telephone.

"Lady, what is wrong?"

"Last night, I heard something alarming that changes everything. I can't tell you over the phone."

"Are you feeling unwell? How is the baby?"

"We're fine." Not wanting to sound hysterical, though I was, I said, "I need you at home." I had managed Mrs. White thus far; I could do so a bit longer.

"Florence, are you sure you're all right? Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I'm sure. We should discuss it in person."

"I have a meeting I must attend, but I'll leave right after. I should be home this evening. Florence, I love you."

"I love you more."

A shuffling of feet called my attention to the corridor. I replaced the receiver and hurried to the doorway. At the bend of the intercepting hallway, I caught a glimpse of a shadow scurrying away. Someone had listened to my telephone conversation.

I needed some fresh air. Thankfully, I hadn't seen Mrs. White this afternoon, and Alex would be home in a few hours. I moved with purpose to the stable, needing the love and companionship of my faithful friend.

Six horses watched me from their stalls, their big, wide eyes shining in the semidarkness. I passed them, noticing they had plenty of hay and water, and came to the one I was here for. Sunny. She swung her head over the short door separating us and gently nudged my arm. I pressed my cheek against her cold nose. "I'll be able to ride you again soon, you know. You and I will watch this baby grow. We'll watch him run through the green fields in the summer and play in the snow in the winter. He will love you as much as I do."

I picked up a brush from a bucket and stepped inside her stall, where I ran the brush over her brown mane, drifting into pleasant dreams of the days ahead.

Sunny neighed as her attention was drawn to the entrance, her black eyes widened, her nostrils flared. There, Mrs. White held a burlap sack. She traveled down the aisle, her dark gaze sweeping over the horses. They recoiled, nickering and shifting from one foot to the other as she passed them. Even Billy, who wasn't easily frightened, let out a snort and shuffled restlessly in his compartment.

Mrs. White planted herself before Sunny's stall, radiating a malevolent energy. "You love horses too much."

"They are faithful and trustworthy, unlike some humans," I said calmly, though I knew she would not miss the meaning behind my words.

Mrs. White stepped closer to the short door. "Perhaps, but you fail to acknowledge the one thing horses have in common with humans."

Sunny neighed and rocked back and forth in the limited space, growing increasingly agitated.

"Remind me," I said to the housekeeper, and to Sunny, "It's all right, girl." I stroked her neck, but it did nothing to reassure her.

"Fear, darling. Fear," Mrs. White spat the words with venom. My blood ran cold. She was right, especially in Sunny's case. In the blink of an eye, Mrs. White dug her hand into the sack, retrieved an adder snake, and threw it at Sunny's feet. I screamed and shrunk against the partition wall.

The silver-grey reptile with black markings launched into frenzied swirling between Sunny's legs. Sunny pounded the ground, desperately attempting to subdue the threat, but the snake moved quickly, hissing and striking at the horse until it bit Sunny's thigh. I was trapped. I couldn't get past the horse, but I had to protect my baby. He deserved to meet his father, to love and be loved.

I turned from the terrified Sunny and the snake to the wall, shielding my unborn child. From the corner of my eye, I saw the snake strike again. Sunny reared up on her hind legs, her hoofs slamming into my back. There was an audible crack as my spine snapped. Dimly, I registered Mrs. White's diabolical laugh.

"My baby!" I cried and collapsed to the floor.

Through spasms of agony, I heard Mr. Vines shout, "Deborah, what the devil are you doing?" before I lost consciousness